A/N: It was my prom last Thursday, It went well, the lad I like got voted Most Fanciable Male…mainly because I went round and changed everyone's votes. I often wonder if anyone from my school reads my stories, it would be weird if they did. For all I know they could be reviewing…and I don't know who they are and they don't know who I am…if that makes any sense! Also, I'm sorry for slipping in a history related joke in his chapter. If you don't know who General Haig is or what his claim to fame was, he was a very stupid General who's insolence resulted in hundreds and hundreds of deaths during the battle of the Somme. My history teacher would be so proud…. anyway, thanks to all reviewers, you didn't seem too creeped out at the talking to electrical equipment bits…enjoy! Review! Wash your socks! Don't eat yellow snow!

Sunrise
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It wasn't long before Toni was accepted as a member of the Red Dwarf posse.

Even Rimmer took a liking to her once he found out she had an interest in anything military. The pair would often be found discussing war strategies and tactics, Toni naming a few she'd been taught.Toni got on perfectly well with Cat, although she did have reservations about his shameless flirting techniques, his favourite being "You're sexy…but I'm sexier, fancy a quickie?"

One particular day, Toni and Lister were cuddled up on his bunk watching a film, Rimmer, with help from one oftheskutters, was organising his collection of 20th century telegraph poles, whilst Kryten was folding laundry in the corner.

It was at that point that Cat came sauntering into the room with his usual grace, shophisitication and debonair.

"What's happening, buds?" he asked, finishing off his dramatic entrance with a spin.

"Nuthin'" replied Lister, hardly taking notice of the Cat's flamboyant gestures.

"Nuthin" however was far from correct. At that moment between Cat's suave winks at Toni and over enthusiastic hip thrusts towards the mirror, two grade 5 atom pressed missiles had been launched at the posse's beloved, Red Dwarf.

Impact in 10 seconds.

Cat shrugged and decided to stick around and watch a bit of the movie seeing as he was ahead of his preening schedule. He still had 18 minutes til his next shower.

It always amazed Lister how everyone always ended up in the same room. The Dwarf was a huge ship with millions of rooms, yet everyone preferred to hang out together in the same space.

Impact in 5 seconds.

Toni however loved this. To her, the posse was her family and back on her G.E.L.F ship there were no families as such.

You were colleagues and that was that. You weren't even particularly friendly with your family; they were just two people who came together for the sole purpose of breeding. Granted they'd look out for you, make sure you didn't come to any harm but if you were looking for affection of any sort, you were best off talking to the wall.

So the Dwarfers carried on with what they were doing (which by anyone's standards was very little), blissfully unaware that the two missiles were silently hurtling towards the right side of Red Dwarf.

Impact in 3 seconds.

Two.

One.

Target acquired.

With Red Dwarf being such a big ship, and with Lister and others being on the left side of the ship, they hardly felt the force of the missiles. But a ship cannot withstand being hit with missiles without something malfunctioning, and within seconds the Dwarfers found themselves plunged into darkness.

"What happened?" asked Lister, sitting upright,

"I think," said Rimmer "and don't hold me to this, but I think…the lights have gone out!" he said sarcastically.

"Nobody likes a smart-arse, Rimmer," snapped Lister, jumping down from his bunk

"Yes and nobody likes someone who asks stupid questions" retorted Rimmer, "Oh my, one minute we're all sat here under the lovely lighting the next thing everything's all dark…hmm…could it possibly be that the lights have gone out!"

"I meant what happened for the lights to go off, actually Rimmer"

"Sirs" interjected Kryten "I suggest we see if Holly is still online. If she too isn't working, we may have bigger troubles on our hands then a faulty light bulb!"

"Hol?" asked Lister, "Holly, you there?"

"How do dudes!" cooed Holly as she appeared on the screen, she gazed around her in mild confusion "Blimey…it's a bit dark in here, someone put the light on!"

"We would," replied Rimmer icily "but they appear to be broken!"

"Broken?" replied Holly, frowning "who did that then?"

Rimmer dragged his hands down his face and muttered profanities, so Lister stepped in. "We don't know what did it, Hol. The lights just went out, we we're hoping you'd be able to tell us…"

"So they just went out did they…lemme check the rest of the ship" with a blip she was gone whilst the Dwarfers stood and waited in the gloom.

"Oh dear" said Holly in a small voice as she came back,

"What?" they all asked in unison.

"We're not having a very good day…" sighed Holly "the lights have gone and two missiles have just hit the right side of the ship…" she pouted as a thought struck her "d'you think there's a connection?"

"Two missiles!" squeaked Rimmer "why would anyone fire two missiles at the 'Dwarf?"

"They probably knew you were onboard" hissed the Cat from somewhere behind him "But they might have had the common decency to wait til we'd all left the ship!"

"When the lights come back on I am going to give you the most scary looking scowl you have ever seen in your life" threatened Rimmer "and don't say I didn't warn you…"

"Ooohh" mocked the Cat "I'm shaking in my Cuban heels!"

"Will you two shut up!" snapped Lister "I've Ibiza Holiday reps that are better behaved then you…" he paused and realised he'd just been the voice of reason in an argument. Weird. "Holly, what fired the missiles?"

Holly looked up and gave an apologetic smile "just a mo" she sang, as she disappeared off screen "A G.E.L.F ship" she said gravely upon returning.

Toni felt Lister slip his arm round her waist; she smiled vaguely in his direction for the reassuring gesture.

"What kind of G.E.L.F ship?" asked Rimmer, more than a little nervously "A friendly one?" he added hopefully

"Sir" piped up Kryten "They fired two missiles at us, hardly something I'd describe as friendly…"

"Hang about" said Holly "I've seen that ship before" she turned her head slightly to one side as she tried to recall where and when she'd seen the G.E.L.F ship "I've got it! It's the G.E.L.F ship we kidnapped Toni from,

"I wasn't kidnapped…" corrected Toni "It just looked that way!"

"They must have fixed their engines," said Kryten "Followed Starbugs vapour trail and camelooking for Toni-"

"And they've shot missiles at the ship…" finished Rimmer, feeling the bottom of his stomach fall away leaving a deep black hole of worry.

An apprehensive silence descended upon the Dwarfers, before Toni spoke up. "Lister, I understand you're a little scared, but can you please stop touching my breasts…"

"Toni, I'm over here" came Lister's voice, "I can't possibly be touching your breasts."

"Then…who is?"

"It's not me," said Lister, "It can't be Rimmer cos he can't touch anything, Kryten wouldn't do something like that so that leaves…CAT!"

There was the sound of the door 'swooshing' open "See you later Buddies," grinned the Cat as he made a hasty exit.

Lister went to chase after him, but tipped over a chair and crashed to the floor, but nonetheless he crawled to the door "Cat!" he yelled down the corridor at the departing moggy "I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

"Why bother," said Rimmer "The missiles might do that for you…"

"What are we going to do?" asked Toni,

"Dunno," replied Lister, clambering to their feet "Let 'em keep firing at us til they get bored"

Rimmer laughed "Fantastic plan, Listy. You've got the brains and military intellect to rival General Haig!"

"The missiles can't do that much damage can they?" he reasoned "I mean the 'Dwarf is massive, it'd be like trying to damage a tank with a twig…"

"Perhaps" agreed Rimmer "but what if one the missiles hit something vital, the oxy generation units for example…"

Another worried silence occurred as they all tried to think of a solution.

"I've got an idea" said Toni, making everyone jump,

"Well?" demanded Rimmer

"Lister, can I have a word outside…" she asked feeling her way towards the door, leaving Rimmer, Kryten and Holly alone to wait and worry.