Hello everyone! I'm so sorry for the very long wait but I have major writer's block and I know this puny chapter will not make up for it but hopefully I will think of something. I wanted to add more to the chapter but I needed to get this thing out as soon as possible. It is also unbetaed just to let you know.
Thanks once again to my faithful reviewers and I am sorry again.
Chapter twenty eight- Amnesia
His mind felt like a whirl of noise and confusion, and he felt as if he were falling......falling into a pit of darkness. A dull ache registered in his muddled mind and he thought of nothing. Like a big, blank void that's what his mind was; it was too pained and worn-out to register anything else. Thinking only seemed to send a fresh wave of aches through his battered brain. For an instant only, a brief flash of color flitted through his mind, a brief picture, and memory. Someone's face flashed through his mind briefly before it vanished again and he suddenly wanted to see the face again. His mind desperately reached out for any source of color or life in his reminiscence. Once again, the face flashed weakly in his mind, lingering for a bit before slowly beginning to fade away. He panicked and frantically grasped any piece of the memory he could get. He needed something........anything to focus on.
Damien finally managed to grasp the visage, concentrating on the features of the person, trying to comprehend who it was exactly, and what the person had meant to him.
It was a girl, with red hair and chocolate brown eyes that seemed to twinkle at him. She was smiling at him, teasingly, lovingly. But who was she? It drove him crazy to stare at the pretty face and not be able to understand just who this girl was. Obviously she was special to him, since he felt a strong sense of love for her.
Then, he remembered, as he continued to stare at the smiling face, the information behind her seemed to slowly bleed into his mind and he immediately drank it up. It felt as if he was dying of thirst and the spigot was only turned on enough to drip a little water on his parched tongue.....
Ginny......it was Ginny. He suddenly remembered her, everything about her, every moment they had spent together; it all seemed to come crashing down upon him so hard that he felt slightly alarmed by the sudden rush of information. Yes, he loved her, he had known her for years...
And along with her came Ron, and Hermione and then Draco and Pansy and.......his father and then Dumbledore. He could remember. He could everything, everyone. He remembered what had happened. He had been sent to Azkaban and then Voldemort had gotten him out, only to be tortured mercilessly by him. His father had tried to save him. Had he succeeded? Were they still being tortured? Were they safe?
Was he even alive?
Damien stirred slightly and a fresh wave of physical pain washed over him, causing him to gasp. Immediately, he felt someone's hands clamp onto his wrist. He jumped, trying desperately to shake off the hand as memories of being tortured by Voldemort consumed him.
They had him, they were going to hurt him, torture him, kill him. He had to get away; he had to escape. He remembered the pain.......the unbearable, excruciating, never-ending pain. It wouldn't stop. The Cruciatus and the potion......they were going to hurt him again. They were going to torture him again.
He had to get away.
Damien squirmed under the tight hold and let out a loud muffled yell of fear and pain. The hands immediately let him go and he heard someone talking.
He could hear. He could hear. Someone was talking to him, soothing, comforting, soft, gentle. He was okay he was safe. They weren't going to hurt him anymore; he was in Hogwarts. Damien relaxed slightly, his breathing returning back to normal as he lay still, enjoying the sensation of being free, of being not in pain.
A relieved sigh escaped from his lips and he settled himself back down before allowing his mind to go blissfully blank once again.
&&&&&&&&&&
"Severus, you are going to starve to death if you don't get something to eat," Dumbledore told the kneeling man quietly as he eyed the sight before him with a slight smile.
Severus said nothing as he remained by his son's side stubbornly. "I am not going anywhere," he told the older man curtly.
Dumbledore sighed and turned away, whipping out his wand to summon a tray of sandwiches and pumpkin juice. "At least eat," he set the tray down beside the Potion's Master. "You wont be able to see him wake up if you die from not eating enough."
Severus scowled at the man, hating to admit that he was right. He grudgingly took a half of a sandwich of the tray before taking a small bite. Dumbledore smiled approvingly before finally leaving the Hospital Wing. Severus was grateful. Damien had stirred a bit yesterday morning and Severus was almost positive that he would wake up soon; he wanted to be there for Damien when he did.
Ever since he had come back from the Riddle House, he had stayed by Damien's side the whole time. Draco and Lucius were now in the Grimauld Place due to the fact that they were wanted, and the curtains around Damien's bed stayed shut so no passerby or nosey student could peek in.
The most annoying part though, in Severus's opinion, had been that of two Weasley's and a Granger who were persistently trying to find a way to sneak in the Hospital Wing at night to see Damien. According to Severus's calculations, they had tried to sneak in an approximate of at least twice a night since they had gotten wind (Draco had owled Pansy) of Damien's return. Each attempt had failed miserably and the stubborn little whelps couldn't comprehend the fact that no matter how many times they tried to come to the Hospital Wing each night, Severus was still going to be there.
Potions had been canceled for the last few days and students were gleeful. Severus would sometimes catch a bit of conversation from an injured student such as a third year Gryffindor, who had been talking to his friend about how he learned potions better when they didn't even have a class. It took all of Severus's self control, as well as a few looks from Poppy, to keep him from strangling the arrogant brat, which reminded him strongly of Sirius Black.
Thinking of Black turned his thoughts back to his son. Severus blinked out of his daze and looked back at Damien, nearly having a heart attack when he found those green eyes open and staring at him.
Severus opened his mouth to say something but found that he couldn't.
Damien looked at him blankly for a couple of minutes before saying simply, "Hello."
"Hi," Severus began uncertainly, staring into those blank eyes that didn't seem to be taking in anything that they were seeing. "Damien?"
Damien blinked and slowly looked around before returning his gaze to Severus. "You are my father aren't you?" he whispered as if embarrassed that he didn't know.
Severus felt something akin to a bomb go off inside him. He suddenly felt as if everything was crumbling. Damien didn't remember anything. The Cruciatus, though it hadn't made him insane, had caused him brain damage. Does he remember anything? Severus thought helplessly and after so long of sitting by his son's bedside, hoping that the boy would recover, it all seemed so pointless now. Damien was gone. He was dead on the inside and any previous memory or personality that Damien had possessed was now lost. He suddenly wanted to leave. He mentally berated himself; he couldn't leave Damien by himself at a time like this, the boy had absolutely no idea who or where he was. It would be cruel, something that a real parent would never do.
But as he continued to stare into those blank eyes, completely devoid of Damien's usual spark of life, he couldn't help but keep the option open. "Yes," he answered finally, his voice sounding weak even to his own ears. "I am your father."
Damien blinked and looked around. "Where is this?"
"The Hospital Wing," Severus replied quickly, glancing around uneasily. He really wanted to leave.
"It's very.....clean," Damien said uncertainly as he frowned in confusion at the vial of potion. "Is that medicine?" he asked innocently, staring at the common potion known as the Pepper-Up Potion.
"Yes," Severus's voice was short again, he shifted uncomfortably. "Do you know what your name is?" he asked fearfully.
"Of course I do," Damien said breezily. "I'm Harry Potter and I thought my parents were dead..........Aunt Petunia tells me so all the time." The childlike tone of voice was very obvious and Severus felt his insides turn to ice.
"How old are you, Harry?" he whispered.
"Ten, of course," Damien smiled, clearly happy that he could now answer these questions.
Severus stared at the boy in horror, feeling his heart give a twinge of pain. He suddenly couldn't take it anymore and stood up, stumbling slightly, and ignored Damien's nervous questions as he made his way out of the Hospital Wing, feeling lightheaded and dizzy.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&
"He doesn't seem to remember anything beyond the age of ten," Poppy sighed unhappily as she watched Damien eye the chocolate frogs that Dumbledore had brought him with awe.
Dumbledore frowned. "Did you see Severus? I thought he would be here when Damien woke up."
Damien looked up from staring wide-eyed at a picture of Armando Dippet. "Who's Damien?" he asked, biting a chocolate frog hesitantly.
Poppy and Albus stared at him for a moment. "I will explain later, Dam-I mean Harry." Dumbledore chuckled slightly.
"Severus wasn't here; Damien was calling for someone when I walked in," Poppy answered Dumbledore's earlier question.
"The brain damage isn't permanent is it?" Dumbledore asked nervously.
Poppy looked slightly scandalized. "Of course not, Albus!" she exclaimed. "It is his brain's way of healing itself, that is why he doesn't remember everything at first. He really does have all of his memory intact mentally but it is too much of an overload for him to remember it all at once. Don't worry, it will come back in bits."
"How long do you suppose will it take?"
"Two days at most maybe," Poppy replied nonchalantly. "He'll be fine but I still wonder where Severus is?"
"Is he that pale man with long, greasy, hair and a hooked nose?" Damien asked. Dumbledore held back a snort and Poppy threw him a glare.
"Yes, he is Harry," Poppy answered. "Was he here when he woke up?"
Damien nodded, now biting off the tip of a licorice wand. "He asked me a bunch of strange questions like what my name is and how old I was." He paused and took another bite. "He seemed awfully angry about something when he left though and he didn't even say good-bye."
Dumbledore sighed. The door creaked open hesitantly and Ginny Weasley cautiously peered in. "Damien!" she shrieked upon seeing the familiar green eyes open again. She hurried in and threw herself on him, absolutely bawling.
"Miss Weasley," Dumbledore began softly.
Damien's eyes widened and he jerked out of Ginny's grip quickly. "Excuse me, do I know you?" he asked quietly. He was sure that he'd never seen this redheaded girl before. Then again, he didn't know many older kids; especially not any cute fifteen year-old girls either. He felt affection for her though he didn't know why. She seemed familiar and when she looked back up, her brown eyes were narrowed slightly.
"Don't joke around, Damien, this really isn't the time," Ginny murmured quietly as she reached out for him again. Something was up though and she knew it. Damien would never joke around like this, she was sure of it but at that point in time, she truly didn't care, all she wanted was to do was throw her arms around him again and never let go....
Damien backed away again, looking slightly afraid.
"Damien?" Ginny asked slowly, she glanced up at her headmaster, who was looking away from the two. "Professor? W-what's wrong with Damien?"
Dumbledore regretfully turned his gaze on her again. "I'm afraid that Damien has a temporary case of amnesia. Only temporary though...."
Ginny stared at him as if he had grown another head. "Am....nesia? she whispered in a disbelieving voice.
"Only temporary," Dumbledore reminded her quickly.
"How long?"
"A couple days at the most."
Ginny swallowed and glanced back at Damien, who was now avidly chewing a Bertie Bott's jellybean. His green eyes were filled with interest as he tried to make out the taste in his mouth.
"This tastes like snow," he declared finally. "I think," he added. "It might be ice but it's almost like it tastes cold! Isn't that weird? I never knew that jellybeans had these kind of flavors!"
Damien sounded excited and Ginny couldn't help it as her heart gave a twinge. She had never seen Damien so.....innocent. This was before his uncle had started abusing him and before he had ever heard of the name, Voldemort. Briefly, Ginny wondered what Damien would have turned out like if he had retained his childlike innocence through all of this. She made a disagreeable noise in the back of her throat. No, that wouldn't work. It was impossible for Damien to not loose his childlike innocence that many of their classmates still had........a little, at least. It was impossible for Damien to survive what he's been through without maturing faster then all of them and hardening. She knew that if Damien really did still have his innocence, then he would be her Damien, the real one but it was nice to see Damien as he would have been when he was younger, and less mature. She wondered what it would have been like for Professor Snape to raise Damien. Would the man have put up with Damien's childlike naivety? Probably. It was obvious that Snape cared about Damien only like a father could. Especially when he had gone right against Dumbledore's orders and risked his life to save Damien, which Ginny knew she would be eternally grateful for.
"What's your name?" Damien asked as he eyed a green bean with suspicion.
"Ginny," Ginny replied with a sigh but she wasn't going to leave. She wasn't going to abandon Damien even if he didn't recognize her. She would be with him until he was recovered and no one, not even the headmaster, would vouch against that.
"That's a nice name."
"Thank you."
Ginny glanced up at Dumbledore, who was watching the two of them sadly. "How old does he think he is?" she asked softly.
"Ten," Dumbledore muttered.
"So he doesn't even know of the wizarding world?" Ginny exclaimed in surprise.
Dumbledore hushed her and nodded.
Damien eyed the bean for a couple of moments before carefully nibbling it. He immediately spit it back out into his hand. "Spinach!" he exclaimed, sounding disgusted. Dumbledore chuckled softly.
"Why don't you get some rest, Damien?" he asked gently.
"Not sleepy," Damien bit on a red bean, which turned out to be fruit punch flavored.
"But you must be," Dumbledore insisted, his voice still gentle. "You have had a very trying recovery."
"But I just woke up," Damien whined.
"Damien, get to sleep," an appeasing voice said from the doorway and Severus walked in. He looked weary and tired, looking a lot older then he really was. Damien looked up at his father, a bit uncomfortable and cautious.
"That's my father," he informed them quietly. Ginny and Dumbledore nodded, Severus flinched slightly at the uncertainty in his son's voice.
"Yes, Damien, we know," Dumbledore continued in that annoying voice he only used with small children. Normally, Damien would have scoffed at the tone for being treated like a child but this Damien was a child and he merely shrugged.
"Miss Weasley, go back to your dorms," Severus commanded. The redhead shook her head stubbornly. "I'm staying here with Damien."
"Twenty points from Gryffindor," Severus sounded tired. "Now, Miss Weasley. Please go."
Ginny blinked at the second to last word but held strong. "I want to be with him when he regains his memories."
"That may not be for a couple of days, Miss Weasley," Dumbledore said softly. "You need to go to classes tomorrow.
"I don't care."
"It is your fifth year, Miss Weasley and you do not want to get behind. Your OWL's are coming up in a couple of short months," Dumbledore stopped at the look she gave him.
"Now, Weasley or it will be fifty points," Severus snapped coldly, obviously wanting to be alone with his son.
"You may see him in the morning, Miss Weasley," Dumbledore continued in that serene tone.
"But-"
"No, buts Miss Weasley, now go," Dumbledore's tone was firm this time.
Ginny glared at the two and gave them a scowl that would make Voldemort proud before standing up defiantly and marching out of the Wing as if she had been sentenced to boot camp.
"Why were you mean to her?" Damien asked quietly, breaking the silence. "She was really nice to me and she wasn't hurting anyone."
"We are her teachers, Damien," Severus's tone softened as he turned to his son. "She has classes tomorrow and she needs to get to bed as do you."
"I don't have any classes tomorrow though," Damien murmured.
"You still need to get in bed."
"I am in bed," Damien grinned impishly at Severus with a look that said, 'How are you going to get out of that one?'
Severus felt a pang in his heart as he stared at the innocent eyes. How he wished that he could have raised Damien and watched him go through his different stages of life. How he wished that he could have seen Damien truly so innocent and pure. Severus swallowed.
"What's wrong?" Damien asked curiously. "Why are you sad?"
Severus shook his head and glanced at Dumbledore, who stood up. "I need to be going, Severus," Dumbledore said. "Tomorrow morning he may remember more.....we can only hope so."
Severus nodded wordlessly and Dumbledore put a hand on the other man's shoulder.
"It will be alright. He will be alright," Dumbledore paused and looked hesitant as he glanced at Damien also. "He will begin to remember his first years at Hogwarts of course so do not be alarmed if he wakes up and regards you as he did when he was twelve or thirteen."
Severus shook his head slowly. "You are saying to not be alarmed if he wakes up tomorrow hating me," his voice sounded weakened. Dumbledore nodded, his expression somber.
"It will be alright," he said again. "He will remember. Just keep an open mind." With that, Dumbledore swept out of the Hospital Wing leaving Severus to his sixteen year-old son with a mental state of a ten year-old.