In Which Harry has Lung Cancer
Harry Potter choked on a considerable amount of ash.
"Lung cancer-"he croaked, with a hacking cough setting in.
"Harry! Are you all right?" Hermione rushed over to Harry, who was lying flat on his face at the foot of her living room fireplace. Harry coughed more and replied,
"Not," cough, "really."
Malfoy watched them from his position in the doorway, smirking.
"I really do feel sorry for that fireplace; did you ask if you could inhale its ash? I'm sure it's not feeling any better than-"
"Fuck off, Malfoy," Harry croaked, attempting to pull himself up. His attempt was quashed by Ron, who came shooting out of the Floo, only to trip over and land on top of Harry.
"Oh- my eyes!" screamed Malfoy hysterically, "I think I'll let Theo and Huffle Mcpuff in."
"Please do Miss Magazine," spat Ron, rolling off Harry. Harry looked even more ill than before and somehow managed to get himself to a sitting position, thought had his knees up and his head between his legs. Neville walked over worriedly, while Susan waved at Harry and Ron from the kitchen- apparently totally unaffected by the living room display.
"Do you want some water Harry?" asked Neville, standing awkwardly. Harry didn't look up, but replied testily,
"No thanks, Neville."
Meanwhile, Malfoy seemed to be talking to Theo, whose coat he had hung up, while totally ignoring Hannah, who had sat down next to Susan, and was currently peering through the door into the living room.
"I'm alright," said Harry a minute later, getting up shakily. Hermione smiled happily and gave him a hug.
"Why did you travel by Floo in the first place?" Hermione asked, "You don't do Floo." Ron smirked from his position next to Neville.
"I told him the apparition wards were up round your house," Hermione gasped and Harry threw Ron a look of pure hatred. "So, obviously Floo was the only alternative," he finished innocently.
"Moving swiftly on," said Theo smoothly, entering the lounge with Malfoy in tow. "Someone just knocked at your door." Hermione sighed and thanked Theo, before hurrying over to the door; greeting Hannah in the process.
She gasped and threw her head into her hands.
The rest of the friends only heard,
"Deliv'ry feh Mr Terry Boot."
In Which Hermione Needs some Convincing.
"Brilliant- aren't they?" asked Terry happily, practically skipping in after the delivery man. He was preceded by a widescreen television which could barely fit through the door.
"They? There's more thank one?" Hermione asked faintly. Terry smiled hugely and looked around at all of the guests, who had gathered into the kitchen.
"Hi you lot? Am I late? Oh well- oh," his gaze came to rest on Ron. "Hello, Ron," Ron shuddered and looked away. Malfoy rolled his eyes irritably and eyed the television.
"What it it? I've already told you lot I don't need therapy- that's what it is- isn't it?" Malfoy seemed suddenly hysterical. "There is nothing wrong with magazines- I'm not addicted and this big, big," he stuttered. "Box will do nothing!" Terry stared at him open mouthed.
"Magazines, Therapy? Have I missed something?"
"Nothing you honestly will want to catch up on," Theo replied, also eyeing the television. "It's not leather is it?"
Terry replied, "It's a widescreen, TV!"
Blank looks
"It shows you pictures," he began, only to be interrupted.
"And information? Can you turn its pages- does it have adverts-"
"Go and sit in Hermione's pantry for a few days- maybe that'll make you sane again," said Hannah derisively.
"Yes- moving on," said Terry hastily, watching Malfoy fume. "It shows pictures and information- series of events. Muggles swear by them." Yet more blank looks greeted his speech. "You can get porn on them." A few people started nodding and looking at the TV in interest.
"TERRY! I will not have such things in my house! Now, you can take that TV-"
"Shut up and enjoy yourself, Hermione," interrupted Seamus, shoving a brightly coloured cocktail into her hand. Hermione looked at him with deep mistrust.
"Well you lived in Gryffindor Tower with Fred and George for five years and you're still alive- take a chance."
Hermione sighed knowing she was never going to win- she was outnumbered. She smiled ever so slightly and sipped her drink. That seemed to have been the approval the masses needed. Seamus began mixing cocktails and handing out can's of beer.
"Wheel her into the living room!" yelled Terry to the delivery men- who seemed to have blanked out during the entire previous conversation. They probably assumed most of the guests were drunk. They're guess wasn't far off.
"Don't mind about that bookshelf- nah, not valuable," called Terry as a loud crunch was heard.
"That's my Victorian mahogany one," replied Hermione faintly. She sighed and collapsed onto a chair at the table where she was comforted by Neville and Susan.
"AAAHHH! What the hell?"
It appeared Ginny Weasley and Blaise Zabini had just Apparated onto the widescreen TV.