When Chandler met Janice for lunch, he surprised her with a teddy bear. "Uh, I don't know if Ruthie would rather have a doll or something, but I thought this might be cute."

"Oh, sweetie, thank you! It's so adorable, just like you!" She laughed and kissed him happily. "Oooh, I'm sure she'll love it, honey. Hey, listen, I'm going to bring Ruthie with me tonight, so she can thank you in person."

"Oh really? Tonight?" Chandler gulped nervously. He hadn't seen Ruthie since she was just an infant in a stroller who slept and cried a lot of the time; by now she ought to be an active toddler, much like Ben. However, Chandler hadn't spent any time with Ben lately, and even if he had, surely there were differences between girls and boys? "Uh, can she actually talk?"

Janice nodded. "Yeah, a little bit; she doesn't always make sense, but she's very cute. Oh my God, she has grown so much, Chandler! I can't wait for you to see her."

"Sure," he said with a shrug. "I mean, as long as I don't have to change a diaper or anything." He tried to speak jokingly, but then asked rather seriously, and hopefully, "Is she potty trained yet?"

Janice laughed and shook her head. "No but we're working on it! Don't worry, I'll bring a diaper bag along and handle all that stuff. You just have dinner ready and be the sweet honey-bunny you are!" She kissed him.

Chandler suggested, "Oh, and I could see if Ross or Monica can come babysit, too."

"No, actually I was hoping it could be just the three of us tonight, Chandler."

"Just us?" He frowned anxiously. "You do know that the last time a babysat a kid, I left him behind on a bus?"

She laughed, but hugged him reassuringly. "Well, that can't happen if we stay inside the apartment! Come on, honey, it's okay. Don't be scared. I know you don't know much about kids, but I just want you to meet her and play with her for a while. Let's see if she remembers you at all, okay? I'll be there the whole time, I promise."

"But, but is she gonna stay with us all night?" He felt somewhat guilty for asking this, but he couldn't help it. "I mean, like, when we're having sex?"

Janice was surprised that he wasn't worn out from last night. "Sweetie, I can't stay the whole night again, not this soon. I thought we could just have dinner and talk and play with Ruthie. I mean, maybe, if one of your friends wants to watch her for half an hour, maybe you and me could have a quickie, but we really ought to save the big stuff for this weekend, you know?"

"Oh. Okay. Sure."

She met his eyes with concern. "You really okay with this, Bing-a-ling?"

Chandler nodded and hugged her. "Yeah, of course. I'm sorry for being selfish. As long as I can see you tonight, I don't care what we do."

"Good," she said with a kiss. "And you know, if you can invite Phoebe to drop by for a little while, I could maybe have a discreet talk with her about our plans for the weekend."

"Oh!" Chandler grinned happily at the reminder of the proposed threesome. "You mean we could do that this weekend?"

"Sure, if she'll agree to it. If not, though, we might have to postpone your treat until I can find some other girl to join us."

"Yeah I know," he answered. "But I hope Phoebe'll do it, 'cause I can hardly wait!"

She laughed, then glanced at her watch. "Oh, sweetie, you gotta get back to work! I'll see you tonight, okay?" She kissed him and walked him to the studio door.

"Okay. I'll tell Phoebe to come over."

"Good. Then you can leave the rest to me. Bye. I love you." She blew him a kiss.

"I love you!" He caught the kiss from her and treasured it for a giddy moment. Then he caught a cab back to his office and decided to call Phoebe before he forgot.

***

Joey was still sulking at home, and he went through his little black book of addresses with determination. He was trying to decide which of these girls might be willing to do him a favor if he asked. Chandler seemed to like dating Joey's ex-girlfriends after all. Maybe if Joey arranged an "accidental" meeting, he could tempt Chandler away from Janice.

Then the phone rang, and he answered it. "Hello?"

"Hey, Joe! I'm glad I caught you at home. How'd your audition go?"

"Huh? Oh, uh, not good. I didn't get the part. But you know who I ran into? Remember Denise DiMarco? She's still hot!"

Chandler laughed at the enthusiasm in his voice. "What, are you gonna see her again?"

"Nah, she's still mad at me for not calling her. But you know, she remembered you and said she thought you were cute and funny." It was okay to fib to his best friend, right? To get rid of Janice, Joey was willing to go to any length.

"What? That's weird. We only talked for like two seconds the morning after you promoted your little major to a general." He chuckled and wondered whether his own Bing-a-ling deserved a new nickname after last night with Janice.

Joey continued lying, "Well, uh, you must have made quite an impression on her, Chandler. She wanted to know if you were single now."

Chandler laughed again. "Well, I hope you told her that she was too late! Hey, speaking of Janice, can I ask you something?"

Joey frowned and didn't say anything.

Chandler continued obliviously, "You babysit your nieces a lot, right? Well, Janice wants to bring her kid over tonight, and I wanna make a good impression. So can you tell me some games I can do with a two-year-old? Like, does peek-a-boo still work? How does The Itsy Bitsy Spider song go? Oh, wait, should I even mention spiders? Would that scare her? I just don't want to act stupid or anything."

Joey tried to change the subject. "Hey, you sure you wanna hang out with her kid? Isn't Janice moving a little too fast? You just got together yesterday."

Chandler sounded relatively calm, though. "Well, I sort of met Ruthie the last time, and I guess we're picking up where we left off. Janice says she won't make me change diapers or anything, so I think this will be okay."

"Yeah, but I think she's putting too much pressure on you. Like she's trying to replace Gary with you."

"What? Janice loves me; that's why she came back. She told me Gary is a rotten father anyway. If anything, I'll prove I'm better than him."

"Chandler, you really want to be a parent to somebody else's kid? It's like she's trying to trap you into a commitment and marriage already. Maybe you should see Denise after all. Huh?"

"No, Joey!" He was highly offended. "What are you talking about? I just asked you for some advice--"

"I'm trying to give you some advice, Chandler! Look, I don't think you should trust Janice yet. She's already cheated on you once--"

Chandler hung up on him.

Joey sighed and put the phone down. Glancing at his black book again, Joey tossed it aside in defeat and went to the fridge for another beer.

In his office, Chandler fumed over Joey's words for a while, realizing that maybe Joey still hated Janice and was trying to sabotage their renewed relationship. Chandler decided to ignore Joey for now and give him the silent treatment until he learned to show Janice some respect.

After calming down, Chandler picked up the phone again and started to dial Ross's number instead. Ross could give him some kid advice, without badmouthing Janice.