[In the last chapter, I underestimated the age of Janice's daughter. In early season two, Janice appeared to be very pregnant, and possibly due in another month or two. In early season three, when Janice was dating Chandler, she referred to her kid as still a baby (but didn't specify either sex or age). If "baby" means an infant no older than 12 months, the child should be about 2.5 years old now. (We are now in mid season four, about 15 months since Janice last broke up with Chandler). So I guess it's inaccurate to still call this toddler a baby, which means I've made the necessary alterations to the previous chapter.]

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Chandler came home from work and started to put his briefcase away, but then he found Joey passed out on the couch, with a lot of empty beer bottles on the nearby table. The birds were hanging around him too, sniffing at the bottles curiously. They were trying to figure out how to get a sip of the leftover beverage despite their beaks not being suited to the narrow bottlenecks.

"Great! Just what I need!" Chandler grumbled as he tossed down the briefcase and started cleaning up the mess left by his roommate.

Joey woke up from all the racket, and drunkenly rolled over to see Chandler there. "Hey--" he tried to sit up, but fell back from dizziness. "Ohhh!" he groaned.

Chandler snorted disdainfully and shooed the birds into another room. He hoped that Joey's hangover was throbbingly painful.

Sitting up slowly, Joey made another attempt to speak, "Hey, Chandler--"

"I'm not speaking to you!" he snapped, gathering up the bottles and going to dump them in the trash.

Joey frowned, realizing both the time and how angry Chandler was. He didn't want to lose their friendship over this, so he tried to sober up as much as he could. "Chandler!" he called out, but got no answer. "Chandler, please, I'm sorry. I--"

"I thought we were friends, Joe!" Chandler replied sternly, "but is this how a friend acts?" He gestured to the mess, then came back with a rag to wipe up the table.

"I-I didn't mean--"

"I just asked you to help me out, but all you can do is badmouth my girlfriend, and act like a jerk!" He scowled and suspected that Joey had got drunk on purpose to make him look bad in front of Janice. "If you can't be sober, then at least go into your room and sleep it off! And you better not come out to bother us on our date, or I'll block your door from the outside."

Joey grew even more worried by Chandler's unforgiving tone. "What? No! No, please--" Despite his unsteadiness, he got off the couch and grabbed Chandler's arms, begging him to listen.

"Stop it!" Chandler protested and tried to push Joey off him. "You had no right to say those things about Janice. I love her!"

Joey gulped but clung to him desperately. "I'm sorry! I know I was wrong. I-I was an idiot." He hugged Chandler closer and sank down, groveling at his knees. "I won't do it again, Chandler. I'm sorry. Please!"

Chandler finally melted and sat down with Joey on the floor, feeling rather surprised by his roommate's outpouring of tears. But that could be just the alcohol affecting Joey. "You're really sorry?" he asked quietly.

Joey nodded and met his eyes contritely. "Yeah. And, and I didn't mean to get so drunk. I was just, I was upset, and I lost track, and I was gonna call you back, but I didn't know what to say. I..."

Chandler didn't wait to hear more, just hugging him tightly and letting the embrace speak louder than words.

Joey clung to him and wiped his tears away with relief. "I'm sorry," Joey whispered again. "I'll, I'll help you clean up here, and, um, I'll tell you all that kid stuff you wanted to know." He hated the idea of having to help Chandler get closer to Janice and Ruthie, but if that was what it took to make amends to Chandler, then he had to do it. He couldn't lose his best friend.

Chandler was touched by the offer, but shook his head. "No, that's okay, Joe. I already asked Ross instead."

"Oh." Joey was partly glad, as he felt too drunk to give any coherent advice just now, but he also couldn't help feeling a little bit hurt that Chandler could so easily replace him with their other friends.

Feeling that they ought to talk this out, Chandler pulled them off the floor and onto the couch, still keeping a hand on Joey's arm. "So tell me, honestly, do you hate Janice?"

Joey squirmed and looked away. "I never used the word hate."

"Come on!" he insisted, making Joey meet his eyes. "I know you couldn't stand her last time, Joe, but I thought you moved past that."

"I told you I was faking it. I was trying so hard--"

"Well, why can't you keep trying then? You were at least polite before."

Joey shrugged, and pouted uncertainly. "I don't know. I guess I just--I just got used to her being gone all this time, and I thought it was for good, and I don't know how to handle her being back."

"Well, you gotta be supportive," Chandler answered, "and stop saying mean junk about her! She's my girlfriend, and you have to accept that."

Joey nodded, but didn't look very happy about that.

Chandler sat closer to him and tried to be understanding. "Look, I know Janice can be annoying, but you have to at least tolerate her, Joe; everybody else does. They're all nice to her and don't complain or anything. In fact, Phoebe even really likes her." And he hoped she liked her enough to have a threesome.

Joey frowned and said reluctantly, "I'll try, Chandler. For you. But can I, can I just not be around Janice now? I mean, if she's staying here again, then I'd rather go somewhere else tonight."

Realizing that this must have been the reason why Joey had slept at the other apartment last night, Chandler got annoyed but suggested a compromise. "No, she's not staying here tonight. It's just dinner and a play date with her kid. But Janice will probably stay over this weekend, so um, maybe you can go across the hall then and help Monica babysit Ruthie for us. Okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

"Good." Not great, but good enough. Chandler let go of Joey and got up. "Well, I gotta finish cleaning up this place."

"I'll help--"

"No, no! Can you just go change your clothes and get rid of that stink on your breath?"

Joey nodded and left for his room. By the time that he was presentable again, and headed to the bathroom for some aspirin, Chandler had changed his clothes too for his date.

He was also trying to cover up the smell of beer by spraying some air freshener around. Maybe he ought to borrow some scented candles too. Hey, maybe Phoebe could bring something over?

Joey hesitantly approached him. "Hey. So, uh, should I go now? What time does she get here?" He could always while away a couple of hours with the gang, he hoped.

Chandler checked his watch. "Uh, not till eight. She lives way over in Chelsea, you know, and wants to allow enough time to get Ruthie ready too."

"Oh. Yeah." Joey frowned and hated how stilted their conversation was. "Well, um, good luck with the kid. I guess I should go see what everybody else is doing for dinner..." He started to leave, but Chandler suddenly stopped him.

"Wait! Um, I just remembered something, Joe." He was clearly panicking now. Chandler had got so worked up about Ruthie, and inviting Phoebe, that he forgot about making dinner. "We're--we're supposed to have dinner here, in the apartment, and I don't think pancakes are appropriate!" he laughed weakly. "Um, uh, before our fight, Joey, I was gonna ask you to help me cook something, and after, I thought I'd ask Monica instead, but then I remembered how she gets so bossy and freaky. And you know, this being last minute... Uh, I-I don't know if you'd help me with this or not, but would you? Please?"

Joey saw how much this meant to Chandler, so he nodded despite his reservations. "Sure, um, we can make some pasta or something. No problem. Uh, first let me check if we have enough ingredients, or we'll have to make a quick trip to the store."

"Yeah, okay. Thank you!" He hugged Joey with immense relief and gratitude.

Joey was happy that the rift between them had apparently mended, and perhaps he wasn't so replaceable as a friend after all. At least for now, staying close to Chandler was worth putting up with Janice. After their hug, they hurried to check the contents of their pantry and refrigerator to see what they had to work with.

They indeed had to make a run to the grocery store, but Joey assured them that they'd have enough time, for his mom had taught him plenty of fast pasta recipes.

After they got home with the groceries, Joey started cooking dinner and he hardly felt the effects of his hangover at all anymore. Chandler was helping him by making a salad too, and they hurried to get done in time. Joey usually would be annoyed to have someone hovering around while he cooked, but this kitchen was much bigger than the one in their old apartment, so Chandler didn't really get in his way.

It was actually kind of fun and relaxing, hanging out like this. Maybe they should cook together more often. Chandler kept cracking jokes about their teamwork too, and would often pat or rub Joey's arm absently, as if it were a silent gesture of having no hard feelings from their earlier fight. Feeling slightly jealous, Joey hoped that Chandler wouldn't have this much fun with Janice, if and when she taught him how to cook more stuff; just the thought of Chandler and Janice "fooling around" in the kitchen was enough to turn him off using this kitchen again.

When Joey paused to taste the pasta sauce with a spoon, he spilled some sauce on his chin, and Chandler reached over to wipe it off for him. Then he started to wipe his hand on a towel, but changed his mind and licked his fingers clean instead.

"You want a taste too?" Joey asked with surprise, offering the spoon to him.

Chandler grinned and shook his head with a laugh. "Just making sure that you're not sabotaging my dinner."

"Nah! I'd never poison your dinner." If it was just Janice's dinner, though... but Joey brushed such thoughts away. He didn't want to get Chandler mad again, and besides, Janice might be inclined to feed her daughter some of the vegetables or pasta, considering Ruthie's current age.