Chandler lay awake in bed, thinking about Joey and shivering at the memory of his kiss. He knew that Joey really didn't mean anything gay by it, but the incident still left him feeling restless and unsettled. Maybe they shouldn't keep hugging so much, since it encouraged Joey to get very touchy-feely. But Chandler *liked* their hugs most of the time, and he did, deep inside, know that he loved Joey too; he just didn't dare say it out loud, lest his friendship-love be mistaken for a different kind of love. He couldn't risk being that forthright about his emotions, what with his gay quality and everything.
That was why Chandler preferred showing his love for Joey through money, by buying him stuff and paying his bills; that was why, out of guilt over kissing Kathy, Chandler had refurnished the apartment, even though it prompted Monica to joke, "Joey has the best boyfriend ever!"
Of course, the new furnishings only infuriated Joey once Chandler had finally confessed to him about kissing Kathy. Joey stubbornly rejected Chandler's apologies and his "tainted" stuff, even threatening to move out, until Chandler agreed to spend Thanksgiving in a box, to prove how much Joey meant to him.
And Joey really did mean a lot to Chandler. He was the guy who made this new apartment feel like home. Chandler couldn't stand to see Joey look so hurt and rejected, but he couldn't say "I love you" in return or go along with the kisses either, so what could he do to make amends?
Unable to come up with any ideas, Chandler really wished that Janice was here so he could talk over this problem with her. She was pretty sensible, and maybe she could tell him how to deal with Joey. But it was late, and Janice was probably sleeping, so any consultation with his girlfriend would have to wait until morning.
Still rather sad, Chandler sighed and finally drifted off to sleep. But then, something very strange happened in his dreams...
Chandler found himself inexplicably in bed with Joey, lying under the covers with him, and they were almost as close as when they had wrestled on the couch before. Joey had that hurt puppy look on his face again, and Chandler reached out to caress his cheek, whispering, "I'm sorry. I-I really like you too."
Joey finally stopped pouting and looked at him hopefully. "Yeah?"
"Yeah." Chandler nodded and watched his eyes. "I mean, even with Ross, there's times when he annoys the hell out of me, and after four years of college with him, that was plenty to make me not want him for a roommate again. But you--" He shrugged as he searched for words. "You're my best friend, Joe. I-I hated it when you moved out and I had that freak Eddie for a roommate. I can't, can't imagine living with anyone else, you know?"
Deeply moved, Joey murmured "I love you" again, then pulled Chandler into his arms for a big bear hug. Joey unthinkingly kissed his cheek too.
Chandler gulped at the physical contact, but tried to calm himself. Maybe it would be okay to accept this affection, if only in private. He very hesitantly kissed Joey's cheek, just to see what it would feel like.
Pleased, Joey smiled happily at him. "See?" He caressed Chandler's face too. "It's nice."
Chandler nodded and whispered, "Only, only when we're alone."
"Sure. Only here." Joey embraced him again and chuckled softly. "Better get all I can now." He kissed both of Chandler's cheeks firmly, which made Chandler blush a little. But then, as Chandler started to return the kisses, their lips met. Then their eyes.
After a wordless moment, they suddenly started kissing each other's mouths feverishly, while their hands roamed over each other's bodies. Not behaving like brothers at all, they crushed their groins together and started to roll around under the covers. Chandler moaned and closed his eyes as he felt Joey pull off his shirt. Soon they would be naked, and now it made perfect sense to be lying in bed together...
With a strangled cry, Chandler suddenly woke up in bed, sitting bolt upright in the darkness. He was alone and fully dressed in his pajamas, which was some relief, but his heart still pounded in his chest and he was covered in sweat. Then he looked down and realized that he was aroused, actually aroused by his dream about Joey. "Oh my God," he whispered in horror.
Scared and confused, Chandler got out of bed and hurried to the bathroom to take a cold shower. He hoped that Joey wouldn't hear him and wonder why he was showering in the middle of the night. What if Joey woke up, and came to the bathroom to ask him what was wrong?
Chandler gulped and realized that he was getting aroused again, by the thought of Joey joining him in the shower. "No, no, no!" Chandler turned the water to icy cold and told himself, "I'm straight! I love Janice. And, and Joey's not gay either. That would never happen."
Finally, he left the shower and dried himself off with a towel. Still shivering, Chandler threw on a bathrobe and returned to his bedroom with his clothes. Dressing again and getting back into bed, he wrapped himself tightly in the blankets. Then Chandler lay awake and counted the hours until morning, when he could call Janice for reassurance.
Perhaps it was just something psychological, a nightmare about what he feared might happen if he let Joey get more touchy-feely with him. It had nothing to do with reality, except maybe to express the paranoia that remained leftover from his dad being gay. After a long while, Chandler at last managed to doze off again.
In the morning, Chandler woke up and got ready for work as usual. As he ate breakfast, though, Joey came out of his room and started to apologize for his drunken behavior last night. Chandler suddenly remembered his erotic dream, and he put down his cereal bowl in a panic. Grabbing his briefcase and avoiding Joey's eyes, he mumbled, "Forget about it," and left the apartment in a hurry.
Joey was very disappointed and didn't know what to do, other than eat Chandler's half finished breakfast.
***
At work, Chandler remained jittery all morning and after he got control over his voice again, he called Janice at her office. "Can you, can you come over tonight please?"
She was surprised and confused. "No, I'm sorry, honey. I thought we agreed that you'd spend time with your friends, and I'd stay home with Ruthie."
"But I need to see you. Please? Just a quickie. I need you."
Janice could tell that he wasn't speaking out of lust. "What's wrong, honey?"
"Nothing," he evaded her question. "I just miss you."
"No, I can tell that something's bothering you, Bing-a-ling. Come on, tell me."
"Um, I just--I just didn't get much sleep last night, and I have a hangover."
"Are you sure that's all?"
"Yes! I just, I went to the game with Joey and had too much beer, and now I feel awful. Please come over, Janice."
"Chandler, if anything, you'll have to come over while I'm taking care of Ruthie, but I still think I won't have any energy for sex tonight."
"Really?" He frowned in despair.
"I'm sorry, honey, but I did tell you already. Is there anything else I can do to make you feel better? Please tell me what's wrong."
Chandler sighed and decided to confess, but not about Joey. That was too much to admit to her. "Um, uh, remember that story I told you, Janice? About the girls taking me to the strip club?"
"Yeah. What about it?"
"Well, that night after the girls left, I-I had a dream that all the strippers were at my apartment, and so were Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel. We were all gonna have an orgy, with me as the king."
"You certainly would make a fine king," she said sweetly. "Would you like me and Phoebe to play king with you this weekend?
Chandler liked the sound of that, but he remained distracted by the memory of the dream. "Yeah, but--you see, the dream started out good, but--"
"But what?"
He forced himself to say it, "There was this guy from the strip club who showed up in the dream, and he--he started touching me. I couldn't wake up at first, and he started groping me like--" Like Joey's tailor had once done, he realized with a shudder. Chandler blushed and fidgeted in his chair, then he added in a whisper, "I started worrying that I was gay again."
"Oh, my Bing-a-ling!" Now she understood the situation. She sighed sympathetically and dismissed his doubts. "Chandler, sweetie! We had all-night sex just a couple of nights ago, and you wonder if you might be gay? Please! You're all man."
Chandler felt a little better, but glanced at his recently manicured nails and got insecure again. "You sure, Janice? Then why did I have the dream?"
"Dreams don't always have to make sense or have a meaning. And even if they do, it's often not the most obvious meaning. You know, Freud and all that symbolic stuff."
"Yeah, but sometimes a cigar is just a cigar," he replied. Chandler found that he had a craving for a cigarette too.
"So?" Janice answered, trying a different tack. "Who cares! You love me, and I love you. We're soulmates. I mean, even if you did turn out to be bisexual, Chandler--I can't believe you'd be just gay, the way you are with me--it wouldn't make me love you any less."
Chandler was very surprised. "You--you mean that?"
"Of course! I've had lots of lesbian sex, and it doesn't bother you at all. In fact, you love it and we're gonna have a threesome this weekend just for you." Well, it was also partly for her and Phoebe too, but Janice wouldn't have invited Chandler to share it with them if she didn't love him so much.
"That is true," he said.
"And you know, Chandler, if you ever wanted to do a little exploring of your own, I'd love to join in with that too."
He got nervous again as he imagined being in bed with Joey. Chandler cleared his throat and stammered, "But I don't, uh... I don't--"
Seeing that she should back off, she gave a dismissive laugh. "Okay, okay! Then we'll just settle for our little threesome this weekend! Are you looking forward to it?"
He imagined having both Janice and Phoebe in his bed, possibly stripping and treating him like a king, and it did turn him on. "Yeah," he answered breathlessly.
"Good! So there's nothing to worry about. It was just a dream, sweetie. We love each other, and we're soulmates. Chan and Jan forever, you know?"
Chandler nodded and smiled. "Chan and Jan forever. I love you."
"I love you too. Oh-oh, I've gotta get back to work now. Listen, I'll see you this weekend, but you can call me anytime to talk. Okay?"
"Okay. Bye."
"Bye." They made kissy noises and repeated "I love you" before hanging up.
As he set down the phone Chandler felt a lot better now. He decided that his erotic dream about Joey meant nothing. It only happened because Joey had drunkenly insisted on kissing him last night and saying "I love you." That was all.
That was why Chandler preferred showing his love for Joey through money, by buying him stuff and paying his bills; that was why, out of guilt over kissing Kathy, Chandler had refurnished the apartment, even though it prompted Monica to joke, "Joey has the best boyfriend ever!"
Of course, the new furnishings only infuriated Joey once Chandler had finally confessed to him about kissing Kathy. Joey stubbornly rejected Chandler's apologies and his "tainted" stuff, even threatening to move out, until Chandler agreed to spend Thanksgiving in a box, to prove how much Joey meant to him.
And Joey really did mean a lot to Chandler. He was the guy who made this new apartment feel like home. Chandler couldn't stand to see Joey look so hurt and rejected, but he couldn't say "I love you" in return or go along with the kisses either, so what could he do to make amends?
Unable to come up with any ideas, Chandler really wished that Janice was here so he could talk over this problem with her. She was pretty sensible, and maybe she could tell him how to deal with Joey. But it was late, and Janice was probably sleeping, so any consultation with his girlfriend would have to wait until morning.
Still rather sad, Chandler sighed and finally drifted off to sleep. But then, something very strange happened in his dreams...
Chandler found himself inexplicably in bed with Joey, lying under the covers with him, and they were almost as close as when they had wrestled on the couch before. Joey had that hurt puppy look on his face again, and Chandler reached out to caress his cheek, whispering, "I'm sorry. I-I really like you too."
Joey finally stopped pouting and looked at him hopefully. "Yeah?"
"Yeah." Chandler nodded and watched his eyes. "I mean, even with Ross, there's times when he annoys the hell out of me, and after four years of college with him, that was plenty to make me not want him for a roommate again. But you--" He shrugged as he searched for words. "You're my best friend, Joe. I-I hated it when you moved out and I had that freak Eddie for a roommate. I can't, can't imagine living with anyone else, you know?"
Deeply moved, Joey murmured "I love you" again, then pulled Chandler into his arms for a big bear hug. Joey unthinkingly kissed his cheek too.
Chandler gulped at the physical contact, but tried to calm himself. Maybe it would be okay to accept this affection, if only in private. He very hesitantly kissed Joey's cheek, just to see what it would feel like.
Pleased, Joey smiled happily at him. "See?" He caressed Chandler's face too. "It's nice."
Chandler nodded and whispered, "Only, only when we're alone."
"Sure. Only here." Joey embraced him again and chuckled softly. "Better get all I can now." He kissed both of Chandler's cheeks firmly, which made Chandler blush a little. But then, as Chandler started to return the kisses, their lips met. Then their eyes.
After a wordless moment, they suddenly started kissing each other's mouths feverishly, while their hands roamed over each other's bodies. Not behaving like brothers at all, they crushed their groins together and started to roll around under the covers. Chandler moaned and closed his eyes as he felt Joey pull off his shirt. Soon they would be naked, and now it made perfect sense to be lying in bed together...
With a strangled cry, Chandler suddenly woke up in bed, sitting bolt upright in the darkness. He was alone and fully dressed in his pajamas, which was some relief, but his heart still pounded in his chest and he was covered in sweat. Then he looked down and realized that he was aroused, actually aroused by his dream about Joey. "Oh my God," he whispered in horror.
Scared and confused, Chandler got out of bed and hurried to the bathroom to take a cold shower. He hoped that Joey wouldn't hear him and wonder why he was showering in the middle of the night. What if Joey woke up, and came to the bathroom to ask him what was wrong?
Chandler gulped and realized that he was getting aroused again, by the thought of Joey joining him in the shower. "No, no, no!" Chandler turned the water to icy cold and told himself, "I'm straight! I love Janice. And, and Joey's not gay either. That would never happen."
Finally, he left the shower and dried himself off with a towel. Still shivering, Chandler threw on a bathrobe and returned to his bedroom with his clothes. Dressing again and getting back into bed, he wrapped himself tightly in the blankets. Then Chandler lay awake and counted the hours until morning, when he could call Janice for reassurance.
Perhaps it was just something psychological, a nightmare about what he feared might happen if he let Joey get more touchy-feely with him. It had nothing to do with reality, except maybe to express the paranoia that remained leftover from his dad being gay. After a long while, Chandler at last managed to doze off again.
In the morning, Chandler woke up and got ready for work as usual. As he ate breakfast, though, Joey came out of his room and started to apologize for his drunken behavior last night. Chandler suddenly remembered his erotic dream, and he put down his cereal bowl in a panic. Grabbing his briefcase and avoiding Joey's eyes, he mumbled, "Forget about it," and left the apartment in a hurry.
Joey was very disappointed and didn't know what to do, other than eat Chandler's half finished breakfast.
***
At work, Chandler remained jittery all morning and after he got control over his voice again, he called Janice at her office. "Can you, can you come over tonight please?"
She was surprised and confused. "No, I'm sorry, honey. I thought we agreed that you'd spend time with your friends, and I'd stay home with Ruthie."
"But I need to see you. Please? Just a quickie. I need you."
Janice could tell that he wasn't speaking out of lust. "What's wrong, honey?"
"Nothing," he evaded her question. "I just miss you."
"No, I can tell that something's bothering you, Bing-a-ling. Come on, tell me."
"Um, I just--I just didn't get much sleep last night, and I have a hangover."
"Are you sure that's all?"
"Yes! I just, I went to the game with Joey and had too much beer, and now I feel awful. Please come over, Janice."
"Chandler, if anything, you'll have to come over while I'm taking care of Ruthie, but I still think I won't have any energy for sex tonight."
"Really?" He frowned in despair.
"I'm sorry, honey, but I did tell you already. Is there anything else I can do to make you feel better? Please tell me what's wrong."
Chandler sighed and decided to confess, but not about Joey. That was too much to admit to her. "Um, uh, remember that story I told you, Janice? About the girls taking me to the strip club?"
"Yeah. What about it?"
"Well, that night after the girls left, I-I had a dream that all the strippers were at my apartment, and so were Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel. We were all gonna have an orgy, with me as the king."
"You certainly would make a fine king," she said sweetly. "Would you like me and Phoebe to play king with you this weekend?
Chandler liked the sound of that, but he remained distracted by the memory of the dream. "Yeah, but--you see, the dream started out good, but--"
"But what?"
He forced himself to say it, "There was this guy from the strip club who showed up in the dream, and he--he started touching me. I couldn't wake up at first, and he started groping me like--" Like Joey's tailor had once done, he realized with a shudder. Chandler blushed and fidgeted in his chair, then he added in a whisper, "I started worrying that I was gay again."
"Oh, my Bing-a-ling!" Now she understood the situation. She sighed sympathetically and dismissed his doubts. "Chandler, sweetie! We had all-night sex just a couple of nights ago, and you wonder if you might be gay? Please! You're all man."
Chandler felt a little better, but glanced at his recently manicured nails and got insecure again. "You sure, Janice? Then why did I have the dream?"
"Dreams don't always have to make sense or have a meaning. And even if they do, it's often not the most obvious meaning. You know, Freud and all that symbolic stuff."
"Yeah, but sometimes a cigar is just a cigar," he replied. Chandler found that he had a craving for a cigarette too.
"So?" Janice answered, trying a different tack. "Who cares! You love me, and I love you. We're soulmates. I mean, even if you did turn out to be bisexual, Chandler--I can't believe you'd be just gay, the way you are with me--it wouldn't make me love you any less."
Chandler was very surprised. "You--you mean that?"
"Of course! I've had lots of lesbian sex, and it doesn't bother you at all. In fact, you love it and we're gonna have a threesome this weekend just for you." Well, it was also partly for her and Phoebe too, but Janice wouldn't have invited Chandler to share it with them if she didn't love him so much.
"That is true," he said.
"And you know, Chandler, if you ever wanted to do a little exploring of your own, I'd love to join in with that too."
He got nervous again as he imagined being in bed with Joey. Chandler cleared his throat and stammered, "But I don't, uh... I don't--"
Seeing that she should back off, she gave a dismissive laugh. "Okay, okay! Then we'll just settle for our little threesome this weekend! Are you looking forward to it?"
He imagined having both Janice and Phoebe in his bed, possibly stripping and treating him like a king, and it did turn him on. "Yeah," he answered breathlessly.
"Good! So there's nothing to worry about. It was just a dream, sweetie. We love each other, and we're soulmates. Chan and Jan forever, you know?"
Chandler nodded and smiled. "Chan and Jan forever. I love you."
"I love you too. Oh-oh, I've gotta get back to work now. Listen, I'll see you this weekend, but you can call me anytime to talk. Okay?"
"Okay. Bye."
"Bye." They made kissy noises and repeated "I love you" before hanging up.
As he set down the phone Chandler felt a lot better now. He decided that his erotic dream about Joey meant nothing. It only happened because Joey had drunkenly insisted on kissing him last night and saying "I love you." That was all.