Simple
Dedicated to LRE, my bright light in all the darkness.
Summary: "For the first time in my life, my eyes are talking instead of my mouth."
A/N: A short and simple (the redundancy is not lost on me) Written in the Stars Piece. Why? Because I feel like it and it's going to be a long summer. How many days to a 'Fresh' episode? Entirely too many.
A/N 2: This might not be a very coherent piece, because it's from Lorelai's POV and My Lorelai has a very scary mind, and this is my interpretation of what it must be like in her brain. So I apologize if it seems like her thoughts are random and don't really follow. (Frighteningly enough, people say I think like Lorelai. Uh oh.)
Disclaimer: I do not own nor am I affiliated with Gilmore Girls.
"Does that, uh -- are you, uh, scared?"
On the surface, it was a simple question really, requiring an equally simple and succinct answer. It would be so easy to reply with a 'yes' or 'no.' However, I've taken the easy way out in more relationships then I care to count, and I want this to be different. This is different. I want my response to reflect everything I'm feeling right now. Comfort, happiness, nervousness, and just a touch of terror. It's hard for a one-word answer to express all that.
I smile shyly and bow my head, desperately trying to form the words. It would be so easy for me to say something to completely screw this up and I've never wanted to not screw something up like this in a long time. I don't think that my last thought was grammatically correct, but I'm too flustered to form sentences Tolstoy would approve of. (Well, actually, Tolstoy spoke Russian so he probably wouldn't give a crap.)
The point is, I kind of suck at relationships and I have a tendency to screw things up. Max? Yeah, leaving him at the altar probably falls under the screw up category. And no, I didn't jump on a FedEx truck, but regardless, I'm sure Maggie Carpenter would be proud.
It has to be said that this isn't entirely fair. I hadn't expected to be put on the spot like this. And I mean really put on the spot, about something completely serious and real. It's not like he just asked me how I feel about the Justin and Cameron relationship, (which I am completely opposed to by the way,) we're talking serious here. This simple question is asking so much more than my current emotional state, it's crossing over into Serious-Relationship-Talk Zone. Which is completely unexpected and frightening on a first date. I suppose it makes sense though, after all, this isn't a real first date. First dates are full of awkward greetings, awkward small talk, and awkward Where Do I Put My hand? moments, and, barring our embarrassing John Hughes way of starting the night, this has been anything but awkward.
First dates are about getting to know each other, and seeing if you can get through a single night with someone without killing them, and if that works out, (it rarely does,) then it can lead to a second date, and possibly a future together. Luke and I already know each other, so we don't have to spend a night full of "What's your favorite color?" and "Do you like cats?" And, let's face it, if the man hasn't killed me by now, I figure I've got a good shot.
This night has been comfortable, because I'm spending it with my best friend.
This realization brings me back to the Real World and I'm beginning to think I should give Luke a response soon, before he gets the wrong idea.
I bring my head up and my eyes catch his, and for the first time in my life, my eyes are talking instead of my mouth. I want my eyes to tell him that I'm not scared, I trust him, I'm All In, and that I'm ready for everything this conversation is really about. A Future. Of course, eyes are not always the most trustworthy, you can't count on them to get the job done, and sometimes words are just necessary, so my mouth joins in, to tell Luke that I am most certainly All In.
The collaboration works, and suddenly, I'm not alone in the spotlight.
We're in the spotlight, as is our future.