[Fran Drescher's sitcom *The Nanny* aired on CBS from 1993-1999, and at its height of popularity, there was a talking Fran doll released during 1995 and 1996. No, I don't own one, but have seen it mentioned on fan websites and ebay.]
Joey and Monica were still babysitting Ruthie, although Monica was actually busy making cookies in the kitchen. She knew that she probably shouldn't spoil Ruthie's appetite for lunch, but she figured that Joey would eat most of the cookies himself, so she really only had to worry about vacuuming up all the crumbs he would surely leave behind.
The phone rang, and Monica answered it. "Oh, hi Rachel!" She switched on the speakerphone, then went back to placing balls of cookie dough onto the baking sheet. "So did you see Joshua yet? What'd he say?"
Rachel sighed loudly, sounding irritated. "Well, I asked him out and he seemed like he was going to say yes at first, but then he said no."
"What?! The nerve of him."
Joey was shocked too. "He turned you down in that dress?"
"I know! He said he was very flattered, and he was attracted to me too, which is why he kept coming to Bloomingdale's to see me, but then he said that he had just gotten divorced and he didn't feel ready to date again just yet. So he asked me if we could take things slow and be just friends for now."
"Aw, man!"
"What did you say?"
"I told him, fine, we can be friends, but don't expect me to just sit around waiting for him to be ready. I've got plenty of guys that I can date instead, and I might not even want him anymore by the time he finally comes around."
"Good for you, Rach!"
"Yeah. Play hard to get."
"I will! So, Mon, it looks like you and me are going to go after some rugby guys, like we talked about before."
"Oh, sure!" Monica answered cheerfully. "Just meet us all at the Riverside Park at two o'clock, then we can pick out the cute guys that we want Emily to introduce us to."
"Well, why don't we have lunch together first, and maybe even go shopping with my Bloomingdale's discount? I feel in need of some gal time."
Monica smiled as she put the baking sheet into the oven. "That sounds good too. We could go to the park together afterward. Okay, so where do you want to have lunch?" While Monica and Rachel discussed this, Ruthie insistently tugged at Joey's sleeve.
He turned around to give her his full attention. "What is it?"
"Want my dolly."
"Your dolly, huh?" Joey reached for her bag of toys and rummaged through various teddy bears, games, and kid's books. "Okay, which one is it?"
"Nanny," she said. "Nanny Franny."
"Nanny Franny? Oh." Janice had mentioned this doll to him earlier, so Joey found it and gave it to Ruthie, who squealed in delight and started playing with it.
After hanging up the phone, Monica left the kitchen to tell Joey what time she was going to leave for lunch with Rachel, but she got distracted by how cute Ruthie looked while babbling excitedly to her doll. "Hey, what's that? A brunette Barbie?"
Joey answered, "Nope, it's a--"
As if on cue, Ruthie made the doll talk, and it spoke in a familiar nasal voice, "Big hair makes your hips look smaller." This joke was followed by the characteristic, obnoxious laughter of the popular TV nanny from Flushing, Queens.
Monica chuckled heartily. "Oh, it's one of those Nanny dolls!"
Joey nodded and explained, "Yeah, it's apparently Ruthie's favorite when she's in day care, because it reminds her of her mother."
"Of course! It makes perfect sense: same kind of voice and hair, plus the Nanny wears lots of leopard print and brightly colored outfits like Janice does."
Joey cringed at this comparison. He actually found the Nanny character kind of hot, with her outrageous fashions and short skirts that flaunted her figure.
Monica grinned. "What, you never saw the resemblance before? It's like when Rachel was dating Russ instead of Ross. They're as different as night, and later that night."
Joey pouted and protested, "That's just a coincidence. There's lots of women in New York who talk and dress like that. It's, it's a stereotype, like how Italians are mobsters and stuff."
"I know," Monica said with a shrug, "but it's kinda cool, don't you think? Sometimes I'm just waiting for the Nanny to say 'Hello, Chandler Bing'! She practically does it whenever she says 'Mr. Sheffield,' you know?"
Ruthie made the doll talk again, then she started singing nonsense words to the tune of *The Nanny* theme song.
Monica found this adorable and sang along with her.
Joey didn't know what to think, and then the oven timer dinged.
"Oh, the cookies are done!" Monica headed back to the kitchen.
"Cookies?" Joey was shocked that he hadn't smelled them baking before. He was usually never so distracted.
"Yes, but you have to let them cool first." Monica took the cookies out of the oven and removed them from the baking sheet. "I'm not gonna let you or Ruthie burn yourselves on these."
That was easier said than done, for Ruthie also rushed over to the kitchen and wanted cookies right away.
"No, no, sweetie. Not yet. Go sit down and play some more."
"Cookie!"
"No, I'm sorry. Hey, you want to lick the bowl instead?" Monica grabbed the mixing bowl and ushered Ruthie back to the living room. Joey also wanted to lick the bowl, and Monica felt like a mother to two children. She sighed and told herself that, if she met a cute dream guy today, it might lead to love, marriage, and her having real kids of her own.
***
Across the hall, Chandler returned to the bedroom after looking through the pantry. "Uh, the only kind of broth we have is chicken broth, and that's actually leftover from when Monica was living here. I guess she forgot to take all her cans with her."
"Oh!" Janice realized her mistake and patted Phoebe's head. "I'm sorry, sweetie, I forgot that you're a vegetarian. Chandler, can you go look in that bag over there, because I think her grandmother packed some home remedies for her?"
"Okay." In the bag, Chandler found a box of crackers, and several packets of ginger tea. So he gave them the crackers, then returned to the kitchen to boil some water for the tea.
Phoebe felt somewhat better after munching on some crackers, so Janice wrapped them both in robes and decided to go back into the living room. They sat down on the couch to watch TV with the duck and rooster, and Janice put a bucket next to Phoebe, just in case.
"Thank you," Phoebe said.
"You're welcome. You want any honey in your tea?"
"If you have any."
Janice asked whether Chandler had some honey, but he shook his head. "No, we don't. Uh, we do have jam, though, and bread. Oh, hey, I was gonna make you guys some cinnamon raisin bread today."
"You were?"
"Yeah, me and Joey made a loaf in the breadmaker last night, and it was great. That's why I went to the store this morning, to get more ingredients. If I start making the bread now, it should be done baking by lunch time."
"Oh, that's sounds good!"
So Chandler poured some tea for Phoebe, then found the bread recipe again so that he could begin making a new loaf.
Janice smiled and came over to assist him. "If it tastes anything like that pasta dinner Joey made for us, it's got to be delicious!"
"It is!" Chandler nodded. He and Janice made the dough, then left it to rise and bake in the breadmaker.
Phoebe kept sipping her tea and ate Chandler's last few slices of toast, which she agreed tasted very yummy. "I don't feel like throwing this up at all!"
Laughing, Chandler and Janice made some snacks for themselves, then snuggled and kissed on Chandler's recliner together. After a while, Phoebe insisted that she would be all right for now and they should have fun. Hugging her, they returned to Chandler's bedroom without her and made love playfully.
"I missed you all week, Janice. I wish you could live here with me."
She smiled, but shook her head. "There wouldn't be enough room for me and Ruthie here. Maybe you could move in with us?"
Chandler was very tempted to say yes, for he wanted to be with Janice all the time, but he hesitated. "How could I leave Joey?"
"Hmm, well maybe Phoebe could move in with him here."
Chandler pondered that, but realized that he'd miss Joey too much. He'd miss playing foosball and other games, taking care of the chick and the duck, watching *Baywatch* and *Die Hard*, drinking beers and eating pizzas... no place would really feel like home without Joey around.
Janice saw Chandler's pout and suspected that he was getting scared of commitment, so she laughed dismissively and backed off. "What are we talking about moving in for? What's the rush? Let's just enjoy ourselves right now!"
Chandler agreed and they happily went back to fooling around. However, they were eventually interrupted by a voice coming from the baby monitor on the nightstand. "Hello? Hello?" Then Joey spoke to himself, "Maybe I should call on the phone instead."
Janice pulled away from Chandler and shushed him, then clicked the button to reply to Joey. "Yes, Joey?"
"Uh, hey, Janice." Joey seemed to understand that he'd interrupted an intimate moment, and he sounded embarrassed. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay," she said. "How's Ruthie? Is she all right?"
"Yeah, but a little hyper, and she wants to play with the birds again." In the background, Ruthie squealed, "Birdies!" and started quacking like the duck. Joey tried to shush her, then continued, "Anyway, uh, I just wondered if you guys wanted to have pizzas for lunch."
"Oh, sure. That would be great. You guys can come over here and eat with us, so that she'll get to play with the birds for a little while again." She glanced at the clock. "Is 11:30 good for you and Monica?"
"Uh, Monica left to have lunch with Rachel. They won't be home until after that rugby game with Ross and Emily."
"Oh, so it'll be just you and Ruthie for lunch? That's fine. So we'll order the pizzas here and see you then."
"Okay. See you."
"Bye." After she reset the baby monitor, she returned to Chandler's side and kissed him again. "So what kind of pizza toppings does Joey like?"
"Wait, aren't you forgetting about Phoebe?" Chandler asked. "I thought you didn't want him to know that she was staying here with us for the weekend."
"Oh, yeah. How about we order an extra cheese pizza for her and have her wait here in bed until Joey and Ruthie go back across the hall?"
He shrugged. "As long as it's all right with Phoebe, I guess. And we have to make sure that Joey doesn't eat all the pizza."
"Okay." Janice got out of bed and went to talk to Phoebe about arrangements for lunch, while Chandler lay there with a sigh and hoped that lunch would be over quickly, so they could have some more fun in bed.
Joey and Monica were still babysitting Ruthie, although Monica was actually busy making cookies in the kitchen. She knew that she probably shouldn't spoil Ruthie's appetite for lunch, but she figured that Joey would eat most of the cookies himself, so she really only had to worry about vacuuming up all the crumbs he would surely leave behind.
The phone rang, and Monica answered it. "Oh, hi Rachel!" She switched on the speakerphone, then went back to placing balls of cookie dough onto the baking sheet. "So did you see Joshua yet? What'd he say?"
Rachel sighed loudly, sounding irritated. "Well, I asked him out and he seemed like he was going to say yes at first, but then he said no."
"What?! The nerve of him."
Joey was shocked too. "He turned you down in that dress?"
"I know! He said he was very flattered, and he was attracted to me too, which is why he kept coming to Bloomingdale's to see me, but then he said that he had just gotten divorced and he didn't feel ready to date again just yet. So he asked me if we could take things slow and be just friends for now."
"Aw, man!"
"What did you say?"
"I told him, fine, we can be friends, but don't expect me to just sit around waiting for him to be ready. I've got plenty of guys that I can date instead, and I might not even want him anymore by the time he finally comes around."
"Good for you, Rach!"
"Yeah. Play hard to get."
"I will! So, Mon, it looks like you and me are going to go after some rugby guys, like we talked about before."
"Oh, sure!" Monica answered cheerfully. "Just meet us all at the Riverside Park at two o'clock, then we can pick out the cute guys that we want Emily to introduce us to."
"Well, why don't we have lunch together first, and maybe even go shopping with my Bloomingdale's discount? I feel in need of some gal time."
Monica smiled as she put the baking sheet into the oven. "That sounds good too. We could go to the park together afterward. Okay, so where do you want to have lunch?" While Monica and Rachel discussed this, Ruthie insistently tugged at Joey's sleeve.
He turned around to give her his full attention. "What is it?"
"Want my dolly."
"Your dolly, huh?" Joey reached for her bag of toys and rummaged through various teddy bears, games, and kid's books. "Okay, which one is it?"
"Nanny," she said. "Nanny Franny."
"Nanny Franny? Oh." Janice had mentioned this doll to him earlier, so Joey found it and gave it to Ruthie, who squealed in delight and started playing with it.
After hanging up the phone, Monica left the kitchen to tell Joey what time she was going to leave for lunch with Rachel, but she got distracted by how cute Ruthie looked while babbling excitedly to her doll. "Hey, what's that? A brunette Barbie?"
Joey answered, "Nope, it's a--"
As if on cue, Ruthie made the doll talk, and it spoke in a familiar nasal voice, "Big hair makes your hips look smaller." This joke was followed by the characteristic, obnoxious laughter of the popular TV nanny from Flushing, Queens.
Monica chuckled heartily. "Oh, it's one of those Nanny dolls!"
Joey nodded and explained, "Yeah, it's apparently Ruthie's favorite when she's in day care, because it reminds her of her mother."
"Of course! It makes perfect sense: same kind of voice and hair, plus the Nanny wears lots of leopard print and brightly colored outfits like Janice does."
Joey cringed at this comparison. He actually found the Nanny character kind of hot, with her outrageous fashions and short skirts that flaunted her figure.
Monica grinned. "What, you never saw the resemblance before? It's like when Rachel was dating Russ instead of Ross. They're as different as night, and later that night."
Joey pouted and protested, "That's just a coincidence. There's lots of women in New York who talk and dress like that. It's, it's a stereotype, like how Italians are mobsters and stuff."
"I know," Monica said with a shrug, "but it's kinda cool, don't you think? Sometimes I'm just waiting for the Nanny to say 'Hello, Chandler Bing'! She practically does it whenever she says 'Mr. Sheffield,' you know?"
Ruthie made the doll talk again, then she started singing nonsense words to the tune of *The Nanny* theme song.
Monica found this adorable and sang along with her.
Joey didn't know what to think, and then the oven timer dinged.
"Oh, the cookies are done!" Monica headed back to the kitchen.
"Cookies?" Joey was shocked that he hadn't smelled them baking before. He was usually never so distracted.
"Yes, but you have to let them cool first." Monica took the cookies out of the oven and removed them from the baking sheet. "I'm not gonna let you or Ruthie burn yourselves on these."
That was easier said than done, for Ruthie also rushed over to the kitchen and wanted cookies right away.
"No, no, sweetie. Not yet. Go sit down and play some more."
"Cookie!"
"No, I'm sorry. Hey, you want to lick the bowl instead?" Monica grabbed the mixing bowl and ushered Ruthie back to the living room. Joey also wanted to lick the bowl, and Monica felt like a mother to two children. She sighed and told herself that, if she met a cute dream guy today, it might lead to love, marriage, and her having real kids of her own.
***
Across the hall, Chandler returned to the bedroom after looking through the pantry. "Uh, the only kind of broth we have is chicken broth, and that's actually leftover from when Monica was living here. I guess she forgot to take all her cans with her."
"Oh!" Janice realized her mistake and patted Phoebe's head. "I'm sorry, sweetie, I forgot that you're a vegetarian. Chandler, can you go look in that bag over there, because I think her grandmother packed some home remedies for her?"
"Okay." In the bag, Chandler found a box of crackers, and several packets of ginger tea. So he gave them the crackers, then returned to the kitchen to boil some water for the tea.
Phoebe felt somewhat better after munching on some crackers, so Janice wrapped them both in robes and decided to go back into the living room. They sat down on the couch to watch TV with the duck and rooster, and Janice put a bucket next to Phoebe, just in case.
"Thank you," Phoebe said.
"You're welcome. You want any honey in your tea?"
"If you have any."
Janice asked whether Chandler had some honey, but he shook his head. "No, we don't. Uh, we do have jam, though, and bread. Oh, hey, I was gonna make you guys some cinnamon raisin bread today."
"You were?"
"Yeah, me and Joey made a loaf in the breadmaker last night, and it was great. That's why I went to the store this morning, to get more ingredients. If I start making the bread now, it should be done baking by lunch time."
"Oh, that's sounds good!"
So Chandler poured some tea for Phoebe, then found the bread recipe again so that he could begin making a new loaf.
Janice smiled and came over to assist him. "If it tastes anything like that pasta dinner Joey made for us, it's got to be delicious!"
"It is!" Chandler nodded. He and Janice made the dough, then left it to rise and bake in the breadmaker.
Phoebe kept sipping her tea and ate Chandler's last few slices of toast, which she agreed tasted very yummy. "I don't feel like throwing this up at all!"
Laughing, Chandler and Janice made some snacks for themselves, then snuggled and kissed on Chandler's recliner together. After a while, Phoebe insisted that she would be all right for now and they should have fun. Hugging her, they returned to Chandler's bedroom without her and made love playfully.
"I missed you all week, Janice. I wish you could live here with me."
She smiled, but shook her head. "There wouldn't be enough room for me and Ruthie here. Maybe you could move in with us?"
Chandler was very tempted to say yes, for he wanted to be with Janice all the time, but he hesitated. "How could I leave Joey?"
"Hmm, well maybe Phoebe could move in with him here."
Chandler pondered that, but realized that he'd miss Joey too much. He'd miss playing foosball and other games, taking care of the chick and the duck, watching *Baywatch* and *Die Hard*, drinking beers and eating pizzas... no place would really feel like home without Joey around.
Janice saw Chandler's pout and suspected that he was getting scared of commitment, so she laughed dismissively and backed off. "What are we talking about moving in for? What's the rush? Let's just enjoy ourselves right now!"
Chandler agreed and they happily went back to fooling around. However, they were eventually interrupted by a voice coming from the baby monitor on the nightstand. "Hello? Hello?" Then Joey spoke to himself, "Maybe I should call on the phone instead."
Janice pulled away from Chandler and shushed him, then clicked the button to reply to Joey. "Yes, Joey?"
"Uh, hey, Janice." Joey seemed to understand that he'd interrupted an intimate moment, and he sounded embarrassed. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay," she said. "How's Ruthie? Is she all right?"
"Yeah, but a little hyper, and she wants to play with the birds again." In the background, Ruthie squealed, "Birdies!" and started quacking like the duck. Joey tried to shush her, then continued, "Anyway, uh, I just wondered if you guys wanted to have pizzas for lunch."
"Oh, sure. That would be great. You guys can come over here and eat with us, so that she'll get to play with the birds for a little while again." She glanced at the clock. "Is 11:30 good for you and Monica?"
"Uh, Monica left to have lunch with Rachel. They won't be home until after that rugby game with Ross and Emily."
"Oh, so it'll be just you and Ruthie for lunch? That's fine. So we'll order the pizzas here and see you then."
"Okay. See you."
"Bye." After she reset the baby monitor, she returned to Chandler's side and kissed him again. "So what kind of pizza toppings does Joey like?"
"Wait, aren't you forgetting about Phoebe?" Chandler asked. "I thought you didn't want him to know that she was staying here with us for the weekend."
"Oh, yeah. How about we order an extra cheese pizza for her and have her wait here in bed until Joey and Ruthie go back across the hall?"
He shrugged. "As long as it's all right with Phoebe, I guess. And we have to make sure that Joey doesn't eat all the pizza."
"Okay." Janice got out of bed and went to talk to Phoebe about arrangements for lunch, while Chandler lay there with a sigh and hoped that lunch would be over quickly, so they could have some more fun in bed.