[Okay, maybe I'm making Janice is a bit too unrealistically nice. So in the interests of keeping Janice from becoming a Mary Sue, here's some imperfection and jealousy. Also, Phoebe hasn't had a sonogram yet, so she doesn't know that she's carrying triplets.]
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Lunch was awkward. Chandler did his best not to act weird around Joey, but he couldn't help feeling skittish, as if he feared that Joey could somehow read his mind and see what naughty fantasies Chandler had about him.
Joey wondered what was wrong, and he frequently tried to hug or touch Chandler in a friendly way. This caused Chandler to blush, clear his throat loudly, then say something random about sports in what he hoped was a manly voice.
Joey was puzzled, but he chimed in with "The Knicks rule!" as he usually did.
Fortunately, Phoebe, Rachel, and Janice were also there to provide plenty of conversation and distraction. Even at moments when Chandler's stammering became particularly incoherent, Janice managed to cover by saying that Chandler was practicing making funny noises to amuse Ruthie. Chandler was grateful, and he squeezed Janice's hand under the table to wordlessly say thank you.
While they all ate, Phoebe discovered to her great dismay that she had a strong craving for meat, and she kept picking food off of the others' plates.
"Phoebe! You're a vegetarian!"
"I know! But the baby wants meat! Oh, I can't believe this!" She felt very conflicted and hungry as she returned to her vegetarian dish, which didn't satisfy her at all.
When lunch finally ended, Joey picked up Ruthie, and he invited Phoebe to come along with them. "You don't wanna stay here, if they're going to... you know."
Phoebe said, "Oh, I don't mind. I, um, I heard Janice and Chandler doing it all night. Man, are they hot together!" She gave them a thumbs up and grinned as if she was doing them a tremendous favor.
Janice and Chandler blushed, and Rachel giggled at Phoebe's total lack of discretion. "What? You mean you were listening in?"
"Yeah, I had to. They were louder than my grandma and her deaf boyfriend."
"Oh my!" Rachel laughed even harder.
"No, don't laugh. He was good! Not awkward at all. In fact--"
"Phoebe," Janice interrupted her. "Please don't go into further detail. Not in front of my little girl."
"Oh, I'm sorry!"
Joey looked horrified and left with Ruthie.
Never one to turn down gossip, Rachel tried to get more details from Phoebe, who said simply, "I was very impressed." Then Phoebe grabbed her purse and cleared her throat. "Now, um, I'm gonna, uh, go buy some soy burgers and hopefully trick the baby into thinking it's meat."
"I'll go with you," Rachel volunteered, and they went downstairs together, heading for a local grocery store.
Chandler and Janice looked at each other, wondering what exactly Phoebe would say about their sex life to Rachel. But they realized that, in her own bizarre way, Phoebe meant well and was just being overly enthusiastic about boosting Chandler's reputation. Besides, any conversation they had would be constrained by their being in public, so they couldn't really get explicit. Moreover, Phoebe also had to withhold and disguise certain details in order to keep the whole threesome a secret, so there was actually little need to worry.
With a shrug, Chandler and Janice decided to leave the door unlocked in case Phoebe returned later, then they went to bed, where they spent another afternoon making love. They were quite sure that Joey had enough good sense not to walk in on them, especially not with Ruthie.
***
Later, Phoebe came back with Rachel and cooked a soy burger in the girls' apartment, but when she tasted it, she ended up getting nauseous again. "Soy burgers suck!"
Joey and Rachel took turns holding back her hair while she perched over the toilet, and after she recovered, she decided to just stay with them for the rest of the afternoon.
As they hung out together, Joey offered to stop eating meat for the duration of Phoebe's pregnancy. "No extra animals would die; you'd just be eating my animals."
She smiled. "Joey, I can't believe you would do that for me."
"Absolutely! I could be a vegetarian. There's no meat in beer, right?"
"Right." Phoebe happily and immediately made herself a sandwich with lots of deli meat. Joey got jealous and regretted his rash decision, but Rachel scolded him, "You promised her! Here, have a cookie instead."
While Rachel got dressed for the double date, Monica came home from the restaurant and took a shower before she hurried into her room to put on a nice dress. While she was still getting ready, their dates arrived with flowers.
"Oh, thank you!" Rachel put the flowers into vases. "Monica will be out in just a minute."
Geoffrey glimpsed Joey playing with Ruthie in the living room, and he commented anxiously, "You didn't mention that you have a kid."
"What?" Rachel followed his glance. "Oh, no! That's just our friend Joey babysitting for another friend of ours. Joey, meet Devon and Geoffrey."
Phoebe paused long enough in eating her sandwich to clear her throat.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, this is Phoebe." Rachel patted her shoulder to make sure there were no hard feelings about being overlooked.
Suddenly becoming stern, Joey began to interrogate Devon and Geoffrey in the manner of an overprotective brother or father trying to learn the intentions of suitors.
Rachel hit his arm. "Joey, stop it! Never mind him, Geoff. We're all adults and nobody cares what your intentions are." She gave him a flirtatious smile, and was quite pleased to find Geoff warming up to her seduction, after all these weeks of making no progress with Joshua. Clearly, Rachel hadn't lost her touch after all.
Monica finally came out of her bedroom, saying, "Sorry I'm late."
"It was worth the wait," Devon said. "You look stunning."
Monica was flattered, and Devon helped her put her coat on. Then they waved goodbye to Joey and Phoebe, and the four of them left on their double date together.
Phoebe said, "I love the way they talk!" and tried to imitate their British accents.
Joey was not so impressed. "That Geoffrey guy got all weird when he thought Ruthie was Rachel's kid. I don't like him."
"That doesn't matter. She's just gonna have a fling and make Joshua jealous, you know."
Joey sighed and found himself distracted by the aroma of Phoebe's sandwich. He moved closer to her and was very tempted to sneak a bite. Before he could, though, Janice came over to ask them what they all wanted for dinner.
"Phoebe!" Janice gasped dramatically. "You're eating meat."
"I know!" she replied. "It's just, that soy burger made me throw up again. So Joey promised that he would be a vegetarian for me so that I could eat meat for the baby."
"Oh, that's nice! But you're sure about this?"
"Yeah. I have to eat something, and this doesn't make me nauseous." Phoebe took another big bite, with obvious pleasure.
Janice laughed brightly and shrugged, "Okay, well then I guess you can keep eating sandwiches for dinner! How about you, Joey? What do you want to eat now that you're a vegetarian? Did you like the soy burger?"
Joey shook his head and pouted, wishing that he could gobble up Phoebe's sandwich.
"Oh, I know! Remember that pasta dinner you cooked for me and Chandler the other night, with all the vegetables and stuff? How about you cook that tonight? I'd do it for you, except it's your secret family recipe, you know." She laughed again, still forgetting to tone it down without Chandler around to remind her.
Joey winced and tried to tune out her nasal, annoying voice. "Uh, yeah. I-I guess I could do that."
"Okay, so come on over and cook for us. Chandler and I will watch Ruthie, and Phoebe, you can keep eating that sandwich!" She laughed again.
So they all went over to the bigger apartment, and Ruthie once again played with the chick and the duck happily. Phoebe gorged herself on her sandwich and watched TV.
Joey put on his white apron and checked that there were enough ingredients for himself, Chandler, Janice, and Ruthie. Then he filled up a pot and began to boil water. But as he watched Chandler and Janice laughing and playing with Ruthie, he got jealous of their interaction, and he called out, "Chandler? You wanna help me cook?"
Chandler got nervous, and Janice asked, "I thought you said it was a secret recipe?"
"Yeah, but--but, Chandler can help me chop vegetables and make a salad."
"Well, I can do that, Joey," Janice started to get up from the couch.
Joey pouted because he had really wanted to recreate that closeness that he and Chandler had the other night when they cooked together. "Actually, never mind. I can handle it." He turned away and started to wash the vegetables in the sink.
Janice sat down again and could tell that Joey was upset by his posture. Chandler also noticed this icy brush off, and he realized that Joey was no longer making an effort to get along with Janice. So Chandler took a breath to steady himself, then he got up and approached the kitchen.
"Uh, Joe," he said nervously. "You sure you don't need help?"
Joey turned around and looked at him hopefully. "You wanna help me?"
Chandler gulped. "I, um..."
Joey took his arm and pulled him closer, whispering with concern, "What's wrong with you today?"
Chandler shrugged and looked at his feet while he tried to dodge the question. "I'm just--it feels weird now. I mean, you've acted all weird about me and Janice sleeping together. You stayed the night at Monica's place 'cause you couldn't stand it."
"I know." Joey sighed with guilt. "Look, I'm sorry. It's just, you know, hard to take her voice all night. She's so loud--"
"That's 'cause I'm good," Chandler said, somewhat defensively. "I'm good with her. No, actually I'm great with her. Better than I was with Kathy or anybody."
Joey frowned and looked away uncomfortably. "Yeah, I guess you are. Even Phoebe's saying so from what she heard." He grimaced. "It's just--it's hard for me to hear her with you, like that. I don't know why it bothers me so much. It just does, and I wish..."
"What?" Chandler stared at Joey breathlessly and for a wild moment, he wished that Joey would kiss him. Just pull him close and say that he wanted Chandler too.
But Joey didn't. He stared at the tomatoes in front of him and exhaled in frustration. "I wish this weekend was over already, and we could hang out again, just us. It's like, I've hardly seen you at all lately. I miss you."
Chandler swallowed and was grateful that Joey wasn't looking at him right now. "I know." He frowned and berated himself for having inappropriate thoughts about Joey again.
Joey sighed and asked, "You wanna help me cook?"
Chandler fretfully dodged again, "I-I don't know. Can't you let Janice help you?"
Joey grumbled stubbornly.
Chandler whispered, "You promised you'd try to get along with her."
Joey pouted and felt that the whole situation was unfair. "I tried! But she makes me mad, and how come she won't let me see you, huh? Like yesterday and this morning when you were sick... And what's with you locking the door so much, and saying you were cooking naked to get rid of me? It's like, I watch the kid for you and everything, but you don't even wanna see me at all. What's so wrong with me, huh?"
"Nothing. Nothing's wrong with you." He hadn't realized that Joey had taken Chandler's avoidance of him so personally. "I'm sorry."
Joey turned to face him, and he put a coaxing arm around Chandler, "So cook with me."
Unable to look away from Joey's imploring gaze, Chandler gulped again and couldn't manage to find his voice. Instead of refusing, he nodded shyly and hoped that Joey didn't feel him trembling at his touch.
"Oh no, the water's boiling!" Joey let go of him and he hurried to stop the pot from boiling over.
Janice cautiously approached them in the kitchen. "Is everything all right, Bing-a-ling?" She wasn't quite sure what they'd been talking about for so long, but she suspected that Chandler might be in need of rescue by now.
Part of Chandler did want to be rescued, but another part ached to be near Joey and feel his arms around him again. Besides, he'd already agreed to stay and Joey was clearly not in a mood to accept interference from Janice again.
"I'm--f-fine," Chandler said quietly, then moved toward the sink and grabbed the nearest vegetables. "I should wash these, right?"
Joey smiled at him as he packed all the pasta into the pot. "Yeah."
Rather confused, but not knowing what else to do, Janice reluctantly returned to the living room. She kept her eye fixed on Chandler to see any signs of distress, but Chandler seemed okay and Joey was immensely pleased by his presence, even hugging him for a moment.
Then Joey had an idea and took off his apron, putting it on Chandler and tying it for him. "We should get you one," he said with a laugh and tugged the strings playfully. Joey was quite warm and affectionate, touching Chandler often as they made dinner together. They talked and smiled as if they hadn't seen each other in days, even whispering to each other sometimes about who knows what.
To Janice, it looked very much like Joey was in love, and Chandler seemed quite flattered, blushing now and then, while claiming that he was merely affected by the hot steam from the stove.
After Chandler helped with the vegetables, he set the table while Joey finished the sauce, adding a lot of cheese in hopes that it would make up for the lack of meat. Then Joey tugged the apron off of Chandler and finally they all sat down to dinner. Phoebe went to make herself another big sandwich full of meat before joining them.
At dinner, Joey kept smiling at Chandler, and from the looks on their faces, Janice would have expected the guys to be playing footsie under the table. She wondered if Phoebe suspected anything, but Phoebe was too happily engrossed in her sandwich to notice.
"Mmm! This is so good, not being nauseous!"
Janice kept cutting up vegetables for Ruthie and felt slightly jealous of Chandler and Joey. But she sighed and told herself that Chandler wasn't jealous of her and Phoebe, so she shouldn't be jealous either. They were soulmates after all. Chan and Jan forever. Chan and Jan... and Joey forever?
Dinner certainly seemed to drag on forever, while Joey kept talking to Chandler about things they could do this upcoming week. "We don't have to make just cinnamon raisin loaf. I wanna try making banana bread too or something. And now that I can't eat meat, you know, I gotta find lots of vegetarian food to eat. We should go to the store and stock up on a lot of jam, and peanut butter, and chips, and salsa and--Oh! we should rent *Die Hard* again, and..."
It seemed almost as if Joey was deliberately keeping Janice out of the conversation, and she couldn't believe that Chandler was letting him get away with it. He just sat there, listening with rapt attention.
Finally, dinner ended and they cleared all the dishes away, but Joey assumed that they would stay until Ruthie's bedtime, like last night, so he asked Chandler to come play foosball with him.
Janice was tired of this, and she snapped. With an edge in her voice, she said, "Actually, it's kind of getting late, Joey. Why don't you save foosball for some other night, and take Ruthie back to the other apartment now?"
Joey turned to her and spoke almost defiantly, "Now?"
"Yes," she said firmly. "I think you should go. Chandler and I want to be alone right now." She went over to Chandler and took hold of his arm, as if to claim him. "We should make the most of this last night before I go home tomorrow."
Joey looked to Chandler for confirmation, but with Janice's fingernails digging into him, Chandler now realized how truly incensed she was, so he nodded and said, "Yeah, Joe. I'll, uh, see you tomorrow."
"All right." Joey backed down and went to pick up Ruthie. "Come on, Pheebs, let's go."
"Oh, um," Phoebe stammered, "actually I'm just gonna stay the night here again, in your room. It's crowded over at Monica and Rachel's."
Joey looked peeved, and he now considered Phoebe entirely too chummy with Janice. "Fine." He turned to go. "Good night, Chandler." Taking Ruthie with him, he returned to the other apartment without even acknowledging the women.
Noticing the tension and negative feelings in the air, Phoebe asked Janice, "Did I miss something?"
Janice folded her arms and glared at Chandler for a moment, then she said, "I-I just need a few minutes alone with Chandler, Phoebe. Can you just make yourself another sandwich or something?"
"Oh, I'm full, but I guess I can go wash the dishes."
"Thanks." Janice grabbed Chandler by the arm and returned to their bedroom, shutting the door behind them.
Now that they were alone, she exhaled angrily and paced around the room. "I thought you were afraid of him, Chandler," she seethed with resentment. "I thought you didn't want to be near him. You asked me not to leave you alone with him."
Looking guilty and baffled, Chandler bit his lip and sank onto the bed. "I know! I just... he just... somehow..." Frowning, he shook his head and shrugged. "I-I don't know how to explain it. Joey was so upset, and he missed me, and I thought if it was just for a little while... And then he--he touched me too."
Janice sighed. "I know, I saw it! You should be glad that Phoebe didn't pay any attention to you guys. He *kept* touching you constantly."
Chandler blinked and asked her seriously, "Really? I-I thought I was just imagining it. That I was just wishing he'd touch me, and just... daydreaming again."
"Trust me, you weren't! He was all over you." Janice sat on the bed too, and got quite upset. "And he was standing close all the time, and whispering sweet nothings in your ear..." She winced at the memory. "What was he whispering about?"
"He was, he was asking why I kept so acting weird lately, and if we could hang out again once you went home with Ruthie. Like, go to another game or cook some more stuff."
"Hmph," Janice said. "Or go to a movie and make out."
Chandler blushed and stared at her. "You think... you think he really wants me? But he acts so straight--"
"Not with you, he doesn't."
"Are you sure you're not reading too much into it? I mean, he's Italian, and he says it's not gay when they kiss."
Janice folded her arms and pouted, asking quietly, "If he did want you, Chandler, would you sleep with him?"
Chandler weighed that idea in a lengthy silence. "I-I don't know," he finally answered. "A dream is one thing, but if he actually..."
"Would you kiss him?"
Chandler gulped, then admitted, "Yes."
Janice was not surprised, but his answer made her feel all the more insecure.
Chandler's conscience hit him hard then, and he put his arms around her. "I'm sorry. Why did I say that? What's wrong with me? I love you, Janice. I love you!" He kept kissing her apologetically and had tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry!" He was both confused and mortified by his feelings for Joey, and when Janice didn't respond to his touch, he felt rejected.
Chandler groaned and turned away, burying himself under the bedcovers. "Oh God, I'm horrible! I don't deserve you! I'm--I'm like my parents!" He muttered again about needing to see Dr. Meyer, and about his parents warping him psychologically.
Seeing Chandler in such a wretched state, Janice was now ashamed of herself for making him feel so terrible. She put her arms around Chandler and kissed him. "No, no! I'm sorry, Bing-a-ling. I'm sorry too! You can't help feeling that way about Joey, and I told you before that I'm okay with it. I meant that. I just--I was being selfish and jealous tonight. And, and I was scared that you didn't love me anymore."
"I do!" He kissed her desperately and clung to her arms.
She hugged him and kissed away his tears. "I love you too." They comforted and reassured each other with soft words and caresses. She called Chandler her honey-bunny again and they made love.
When Phoebe had finished washing the dishes, she went to Chandler's door and cautiously peeked inside the room. She could see Chandler and Janice already coupling underneath the covers, and something about their intimacy seemed urgent and more emotionally intense than normal. They didn't even sense her presence, because they were so focused on each other at the moment. Realizing that maybe they had a bad fight and were having make-up sex now, Phoebe decided that it was best not to interrupt them tonight.
So she shut the door and went to Joey's bedroom instead. As she undressed and got ready to slip into bed by herself, she could still hear them in the other room. Phoebe felt a little sad to be left out, but she knew that Janice had already invited her to come back if she ever got lonely again, so this wouldn't be her last chance to join them.
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Lunch was awkward. Chandler did his best not to act weird around Joey, but he couldn't help feeling skittish, as if he feared that Joey could somehow read his mind and see what naughty fantasies Chandler had about him.
Joey wondered what was wrong, and he frequently tried to hug or touch Chandler in a friendly way. This caused Chandler to blush, clear his throat loudly, then say something random about sports in what he hoped was a manly voice.
Joey was puzzled, but he chimed in with "The Knicks rule!" as he usually did.
Fortunately, Phoebe, Rachel, and Janice were also there to provide plenty of conversation and distraction. Even at moments when Chandler's stammering became particularly incoherent, Janice managed to cover by saying that Chandler was practicing making funny noises to amuse Ruthie. Chandler was grateful, and he squeezed Janice's hand under the table to wordlessly say thank you.
While they all ate, Phoebe discovered to her great dismay that she had a strong craving for meat, and she kept picking food off of the others' plates.
"Phoebe! You're a vegetarian!"
"I know! But the baby wants meat! Oh, I can't believe this!" She felt very conflicted and hungry as she returned to her vegetarian dish, which didn't satisfy her at all.
When lunch finally ended, Joey picked up Ruthie, and he invited Phoebe to come along with them. "You don't wanna stay here, if they're going to... you know."
Phoebe said, "Oh, I don't mind. I, um, I heard Janice and Chandler doing it all night. Man, are they hot together!" She gave them a thumbs up and grinned as if she was doing them a tremendous favor.
Janice and Chandler blushed, and Rachel giggled at Phoebe's total lack of discretion. "What? You mean you were listening in?"
"Yeah, I had to. They were louder than my grandma and her deaf boyfriend."
"Oh my!" Rachel laughed even harder.
"No, don't laugh. He was good! Not awkward at all. In fact--"
"Phoebe," Janice interrupted her. "Please don't go into further detail. Not in front of my little girl."
"Oh, I'm sorry!"
Joey looked horrified and left with Ruthie.
Never one to turn down gossip, Rachel tried to get more details from Phoebe, who said simply, "I was very impressed." Then Phoebe grabbed her purse and cleared her throat. "Now, um, I'm gonna, uh, go buy some soy burgers and hopefully trick the baby into thinking it's meat."
"I'll go with you," Rachel volunteered, and they went downstairs together, heading for a local grocery store.
Chandler and Janice looked at each other, wondering what exactly Phoebe would say about their sex life to Rachel. But they realized that, in her own bizarre way, Phoebe meant well and was just being overly enthusiastic about boosting Chandler's reputation. Besides, any conversation they had would be constrained by their being in public, so they couldn't really get explicit. Moreover, Phoebe also had to withhold and disguise certain details in order to keep the whole threesome a secret, so there was actually little need to worry.
With a shrug, Chandler and Janice decided to leave the door unlocked in case Phoebe returned later, then they went to bed, where they spent another afternoon making love. They were quite sure that Joey had enough good sense not to walk in on them, especially not with Ruthie.
***
Later, Phoebe came back with Rachel and cooked a soy burger in the girls' apartment, but when she tasted it, she ended up getting nauseous again. "Soy burgers suck!"
Joey and Rachel took turns holding back her hair while she perched over the toilet, and after she recovered, she decided to just stay with them for the rest of the afternoon.
As they hung out together, Joey offered to stop eating meat for the duration of Phoebe's pregnancy. "No extra animals would die; you'd just be eating my animals."
She smiled. "Joey, I can't believe you would do that for me."
"Absolutely! I could be a vegetarian. There's no meat in beer, right?"
"Right." Phoebe happily and immediately made herself a sandwich with lots of deli meat. Joey got jealous and regretted his rash decision, but Rachel scolded him, "You promised her! Here, have a cookie instead."
While Rachel got dressed for the double date, Monica came home from the restaurant and took a shower before she hurried into her room to put on a nice dress. While she was still getting ready, their dates arrived with flowers.
"Oh, thank you!" Rachel put the flowers into vases. "Monica will be out in just a minute."
Geoffrey glimpsed Joey playing with Ruthie in the living room, and he commented anxiously, "You didn't mention that you have a kid."
"What?" Rachel followed his glance. "Oh, no! That's just our friend Joey babysitting for another friend of ours. Joey, meet Devon and Geoffrey."
Phoebe paused long enough in eating her sandwich to clear her throat.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, this is Phoebe." Rachel patted her shoulder to make sure there were no hard feelings about being overlooked.
Suddenly becoming stern, Joey began to interrogate Devon and Geoffrey in the manner of an overprotective brother or father trying to learn the intentions of suitors.
Rachel hit his arm. "Joey, stop it! Never mind him, Geoff. We're all adults and nobody cares what your intentions are." She gave him a flirtatious smile, and was quite pleased to find Geoff warming up to her seduction, after all these weeks of making no progress with Joshua. Clearly, Rachel hadn't lost her touch after all.
Monica finally came out of her bedroom, saying, "Sorry I'm late."
"It was worth the wait," Devon said. "You look stunning."
Monica was flattered, and Devon helped her put her coat on. Then they waved goodbye to Joey and Phoebe, and the four of them left on their double date together.
Phoebe said, "I love the way they talk!" and tried to imitate their British accents.
Joey was not so impressed. "That Geoffrey guy got all weird when he thought Ruthie was Rachel's kid. I don't like him."
"That doesn't matter. She's just gonna have a fling and make Joshua jealous, you know."
Joey sighed and found himself distracted by the aroma of Phoebe's sandwich. He moved closer to her and was very tempted to sneak a bite. Before he could, though, Janice came over to ask them what they all wanted for dinner.
"Phoebe!" Janice gasped dramatically. "You're eating meat."
"I know!" she replied. "It's just, that soy burger made me throw up again. So Joey promised that he would be a vegetarian for me so that I could eat meat for the baby."
"Oh, that's nice! But you're sure about this?"
"Yeah. I have to eat something, and this doesn't make me nauseous." Phoebe took another big bite, with obvious pleasure.
Janice laughed brightly and shrugged, "Okay, well then I guess you can keep eating sandwiches for dinner! How about you, Joey? What do you want to eat now that you're a vegetarian? Did you like the soy burger?"
Joey shook his head and pouted, wishing that he could gobble up Phoebe's sandwich.
"Oh, I know! Remember that pasta dinner you cooked for me and Chandler the other night, with all the vegetables and stuff? How about you cook that tonight? I'd do it for you, except it's your secret family recipe, you know." She laughed again, still forgetting to tone it down without Chandler around to remind her.
Joey winced and tried to tune out her nasal, annoying voice. "Uh, yeah. I-I guess I could do that."
"Okay, so come on over and cook for us. Chandler and I will watch Ruthie, and Phoebe, you can keep eating that sandwich!" She laughed again.
So they all went over to the bigger apartment, and Ruthie once again played with the chick and the duck happily. Phoebe gorged herself on her sandwich and watched TV.
Joey put on his white apron and checked that there were enough ingredients for himself, Chandler, Janice, and Ruthie. Then he filled up a pot and began to boil water. But as he watched Chandler and Janice laughing and playing with Ruthie, he got jealous of their interaction, and he called out, "Chandler? You wanna help me cook?"
Chandler got nervous, and Janice asked, "I thought you said it was a secret recipe?"
"Yeah, but--but, Chandler can help me chop vegetables and make a salad."
"Well, I can do that, Joey," Janice started to get up from the couch.
Joey pouted because he had really wanted to recreate that closeness that he and Chandler had the other night when they cooked together. "Actually, never mind. I can handle it." He turned away and started to wash the vegetables in the sink.
Janice sat down again and could tell that Joey was upset by his posture. Chandler also noticed this icy brush off, and he realized that Joey was no longer making an effort to get along with Janice. So Chandler took a breath to steady himself, then he got up and approached the kitchen.
"Uh, Joe," he said nervously. "You sure you don't need help?"
Joey turned around and looked at him hopefully. "You wanna help me?"
Chandler gulped. "I, um..."
Joey took his arm and pulled him closer, whispering with concern, "What's wrong with you today?"
Chandler shrugged and looked at his feet while he tried to dodge the question. "I'm just--it feels weird now. I mean, you've acted all weird about me and Janice sleeping together. You stayed the night at Monica's place 'cause you couldn't stand it."
"I know." Joey sighed with guilt. "Look, I'm sorry. It's just, you know, hard to take her voice all night. She's so loud--"
"That's 'cause I'm good," Chandler said, somewhat defensively. "I'm good with her. No, actually I'm great with her. Better than I was with Kathy or anybody."
Joey frowned and looked away uncomfortably. "Yeah, I guess you are. Even Phoebe's saying so from what she heard." He grimaced. "It's just--it's hard for me to hear her with you, like that. I don't know why it bothers me so much. It just does, and I wish..."
"What?" Chandler stared at Joey breathlessly and for a wild moment, he wished that Joey would kiss him. Just pull him close and say that he wanted Chandler too.
But Joey didn't. He stared at the tomatoes in front of him and exhaled in frustration. "I wish this weekend was over already, and we could hang out again, just us. It's like, I've hardly seen you at all lately. I miss you."
Chandler swallowed and was grateful that Joey wasn't looking at him right now. "I know." He frowned and berated himself for having inappropriate thoughts about Joey again.
Joey sighed and asked, "You wanna help me cook?"
Chandler fretfully dodged again, "I-I don't know. Can't you let Janice help you?"
Joey grumbled stubbornly.
Chandler whispered, "You promised you'd try to get along with her."
Joey pouted and felt that the whole situation was unfair. "I tried! But she makes me mad, and how come she won't let me see you, huh? Like yesterday and this morning when you were sick... And what's with you locking the door so much, and saying you were cooking naked to get rid of me? It's like, I watch the kid for you and everything, but you don't even wanna see me at all. What's so wrong with me, huh?"
"Nothing. Nothing's wrong with you." He hadn't realized that Joey had taken Chandler's avoidance of him so personally. "I'm sorry."
Joey turned to face him, and he put a coaxing arm around Chandler, "So cook with me."
Unable to look away from Joey's imploring gaze, Chandler gulped again and couldn't manage to find his voice. Instead of refusing, he nodded shyly and hoped that Joey didn't feel him trembling at his touch.
"Oh no, the water's boiling!" Joey let go of him and he hurried to stop the pot from boiling over.
Janice cautiously approached them in the kitchen. "Is everything all right, Bing-a-ling?" She wasn't quite sure what they'd been talking about for so long, but she suspected that Chandler might be in need of rescue by now.
Part of Chandler did want to be rescued, but another part ached to be near Joey and feel his arms around him again. Besides, he'd already agreed to stay and Joey was clearly not in a mood to accept interference from Janice again.
"I'm--f-fine," Chandler said quietly, then moved toward the sink and grabbed the nearest vegetables. "I should wash these, right?"
Joey smiled at him as he packed all the pasta into the pot. "Yeah."
Rather confused, but not knowing what else to do, Janice reluctantly returned to the living room. She kept her eye fixed on Chandler to see any signs of distress, but Chandler seemed okay and Joey was immensely pleased by his presence, even hugging him for a moment.
Then Joey had an idea and took off his apron, putting it on Chandler and tying it for him. "We should get you one," he said with a laugh and tugged the strings playfully. Joey was quite warm and affectionate, touching Chandler often as they made dinner together. They talked and smiled as if they hadn't seen each other in days, even whispering to each other sometimes about who knows what.
To Janice, it looked very much like Joey was in love, and Chandler seemed quite flattered, blushing now and then, while claiming that he was merely affected by the hot steam from the stove.
After Chandler helped with the vegetables, he set the table while Joey finished the sauce, adding a lot of cheese in hopes that it would make up for the lack of meat. Then Joey tugged the apron off of Chandler and finally they all sat down to dinner. Phoebe went to make herself another big sandwich full of meat before joining them.
At dinner, Joey kept smiling at Chandler, and from the looks on their faces, Janice would have expected the guys to be playing footsie under the table. She wondered if Phoebe suspected anything, but Phoebe was too happily engrossed in her sandwich to notice.
"Mmm! This is so good, not being nauseous!"
Janice kept cutting up vegetables for Ruthie and felt slightly jealous of Chandler and Joey. But she sighed and told herself that Chandler wasn't jealous of her and Phoebe, so she shouldn't be jealous either. They were soulmates after all. Chan and Jan forever. Chan and Jan... and Joey forever?
Dinner certainly seemed to drag on forever, while Joey kept talking to Chandler about things they could do this upcoming week. "We don't have to make just cinnamon raisin loaf. I wanna try making banana bread too or something. And now that I can't eat meat, you know, I gotta find lots of vegetarian food to eat. We should go to the store and stock up on a lot of jam, and peanut butter, and chips, and salsa and--Oh! we should rent *Die Hard* again, and..."
It seemed almost as if Joey was deliberately keeping Janice out of the conversation, and she couldn't believe that Chandler was letting him get away with it. He just sat there, listening with rapt attention.
Finally, dinner ended and they cleared all the dishes away, but Joey assumed that they would stay until Ruthie's bedtime, like last night, so he asked Chandler to come play foosball with him.
Janice was tired of this, and she snapped. With an edge in her voice, she said, "Actually, it's kind of getting late, Joey. Why don't you save foosball for some other night, and take Ruthie back to the other apartment now?"
Joey turned to her and spoke almost defiantly, "Now?"
"Yes," she said firmly. "I think you should go. Chandler and I want to be alone right now." She went over to Chandler and took hold of his arm, as if to claim him. "We should make the most of this last night before I go home tomorrow."
Joey looked to Chandler for confirmation, but with Janice's fingernails digging into him, Chandler now realized how truly incensed she was, so he nodded and said, "Yeah, Joe. I'll, uh, see you tomorrow."
"All right." Joey backed down and went to pick up Ruthie. "Come on, Pheebs, let's go."
"Oh, um," Phoebe stammered, "actually I'm just gonna stay the night here again, in your room. It's crowded over at Monica and Rachel's."
Joey looked peeved, and he now considered Phoebe entirely too chummy with Janice. "Fine." He turned to go. "Good night, Chandler." Taking Ruthie with him, he returned to the other apartment without even acknowledging the women.
Noticing the tension and negative feelings in the air, Phoebe asked Janice, "Did I miss something?"
Janice folded her arms and glared at Chandler for a moment, then she said, "I-I just need a few minutes alone with Chandler, Phoebe. Can you just make yourself another sandwich or something?"
"Oh, I'm full, but I guess I can go wash the dishes."
"Thanks." Janice grabbed Chandler by the arm and returned to their bedroom, shutting the door behind them.
Now that they were alone, she exhaled angrily and paced around the room. "I thought you were afraid of him, Chandler," she seethed with resentment. "I thought you didn't want to be near him. You asked me not to leave you alone with him."
Looking guilty and baffled, Chandler bit his lip and sank onto the bed. "I know! I just... he just... somehow..." Frowning, he shook his head and shrugged. "I-I don't know how to explain it. Joey was so upset, and he missed me, and I thought if it was just for a little while... And then he--he touched me too."
Janice sighed. "I know, I saw it! You should be glad that Phoebe didn't pay any attention to you guys. He *kept* touching you constantly."
Chandler blinked and asked her seriously, "Really? I-I thought I was just imagining it. That I was just wishing he'd touch me, and just... daydreaming again."
"Trust me, you weren't! He was all over you." Janice sat on the bed too, and got quite upset. "And he was standing close all the time, and whispering sweet nothings in your ear..." She winced at the memory. "What was he whispering about?"
"He was, he was asking why I kept so acting weird lately, and if we could hang out again once you went home with Ruthie. Like, go to another game or cook some more stuff."
"Hmph," Janice said. "Or go to a movie and make out."
Chandler blushed and stared at her. "You think... you think he really wants me? But he acts so straight--"
"Not with you, he doesn't."
"Are you sure you're not reading too much into it? I mean, he's Italian, and he says it's not gay when they kiss."
Janice folded her arms and pouted, asking quietly, "If he did want you, Chandler, would you sleep with him?"
Chandler weighed that idea in a lengthy silence. "I-I don't know," he finally answered. "A dream is one thing, but if he actually..."
"Would you kiss him?"
Chandler gulped, then admitted, "Yes."
Janice was not surprised, but his answer made her feel all the more insecure.
Chandler's conscience hit him hard then, and he put his arms around her. "I'm sorry. Why did I say that? What's wrong with me? I love you, Janice. I love you!" He kept kissing her apologetically and had tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry!" He was both confused and mortified by his feelings for Joey, and when Janice didn't respond to his touch, he felt rejected.
Chandler groaned and turned away, burying himself under the bedcovers. "Oh God, I'm horrible! I don't deserve you! I'm--I'm like my parents!" He muttered again about needing to see Dr. Meyer, and about his parents warping him psychologically.
Seeing Chandler in such a wretched state, Janice was now ashamed of herself for making him feel so terrible. She put her arms around Chandler and kissed him. "No, no! I'm sorry, Bing-a-ling. I'm sorry too! You can't help feeling that way about Joey, and I told you before that I'm okay with it. I meant that. I just--I was being selfish and jealous tonight. And, and I was scared that you didn't love me anymore."
"I do!" He kissed her desperately and clung to her arms.
She hugged him and kissed away his tears. "I love you too." They comforted and reassured each other with soft words and caresses. She called Chandler her honey-bunny again and they made love.
When Phoebe had finished washing the dishes, she went to Chandler's door and cautiously peeked inside the room. She could see Chandler and Janice already coupling underneath the covers, and something about their intimacy seemed urgent and more emotionally intense than normal. They didn't even sense her presence, because they were so focused on each other at the moment. Realizing that maybe they had a bad fight and were having make-up sex now, Phoebe decided that it was best not to interrupt them tonight.
So she shut the door and went to Joey's bedroom instead. As she undressed and got ready to slip into bed by herself, she could still hear them in the other room. Phoebe felt a little sad to be left out, but she knew that Janice had already invited her to come back if she ever got lonely again, so this wouldn't be her last chance to join them.