I'm back. Ok, me updating this quickly is very rare so don't get use to it. I'm not getting anymore breaks from school until summer because they are evil and being a freshman in high school sucks. About Sunnydale, only the new high school collapsed sorry I forgot to mention it sooner. And this is going to throw two more crossovers into: the movie Underworld and the TV show Gilmore Girls. I'm crazy so just go with it.
Koenma leaves the room; everyone sits and stares. Vyper starts digging in the pockets of the black leather jacket she grabbed on the way out of the door. She pulls out a blue box with a strange symbol in red on it. She takes out a cigarette, puts it in her mouth and continues her search through her jacket.
Vyper: Hey, Spike, you got a light?
Spike throws her a silver lighter. She promptly uses it to light her cigarette, then gives it back.
Spike: Keep it.
Kuwabara: You smoke?
Vyper: Sort of. It isn't tobacco or anything like usual cigarettes. It's a lot of different herbs and what not like opium and vicidine. They're just medical drugs. It doesn't get me high just kills the withdrawals and cravings.
Yusuke: Dude, I can't smell anything coming from it.
Vyper: You're not supposed to.
Yusuke: How did you become addicted?
Vyper: Got admitted into hospitals too many times.
Kuwabara: Doesn't it make you get sleepy with all the medical stuff?
Vyper: Thus, the coffee addiction. Caffeine battles depressants and wins. The crap that keeps you sane.
Alexis: You're sane?
Vyper: Remember that time we went to Woodstock?
Alexis: Yeah.
Vyper: I drank that one guy and after I came down from that high my sanity was gone.
Faith: That explains so much.
Buffy: So, guys, tell us about you.
Kuwabara: I work at a pet store, I have an older sister named Shizuru, a cat, I'm skipping college, and I'm sharing this huge apartment with those three. I have a girlfriend named Yukina and she is so perfect and I only save this world in hope that it will be perfect for her.
Yusuke: My mother died in a car crash this summer. I work at a ramen shop my girlfriend's parents own. I will inherit it when they retire if I marry her. Her name is Keiko. I'm the third strongest fighter in all of Spirit World so don't piss me off. Kurama is the strongest followed by Hiei. (AN: it's my story leave me alone!)
Hiei: Hn.
Kurama: I'm going to college for a business degree and I work at a book store. The only family I have is my mother.
Silence ensues.
Vyper: You know how much I love awkward silences, but could we try the small talk once more, without mentioning the weather?
Kuwabara: I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts-
Vyper: Not that way either.
Andrew: So in Star Wars was it really all that necessary for Yoda to die? And it doesn't stop there, and then Obi Wan bites it too!
Vyper: This is hell.
Xander: High school was hell.
Vyper: But we've gotten revenge on high school. We blew up two.
Yusuke: No fair! I wanna do that!
Hiei: Vyper, how do you and Koenma know each other?
After I died Koenma found me when I still hadn't gotten my power back and he put me on parole for 200 years for what I had done before dying. I guess he thought it would change me. (develops a Scottish accent and waves fist at the door Koenma left through) You can take my freedom, but you can never take my sarcasm and wit. (drops accent) Never doubt the power of a Brave Heart reference.
Everyone laughs.
Kurama: Are you always like this?
Vyper: It's my gift.
Dawn: I've heard you say that so many times in the seven years I've known you.
Yusuke: Exactly how many gifts do you have?
Vyper: My wit, charm, sexiness, referencing power, fighting, able to have all heads turned towards me when I walk in a room. Have a tongue stud and still not look like a total slut, I can have any guy or girl I want, either you love me or you hate me.
Cordelia: You also have a great fashion sense.
Buffy: You're the best dancer here.
Willow: You can play any instrument.
Kennedy: You can sing.
Dawn: You write totally awesome songs.
Xander: You're practically all knowing.
Faith: You know how to use every weapon.
Alexis: You know all of the right buttons to push.
Cordelia: You can eat anything and still stay skinny.
Andrew: You can cook.
Willow: You can go from bad girl to sensitive-I'm-always-here-for-you-when-you-need-me-girl in 0.2 seconds.
Kennedy: You don't judge people seriously until you've known them for about an hour.
Buffy: You put everyone in front of yourself.
Giles: You will always make the right decisions.
Alexis: You never ignore anyone and you always know what they need.
Faith: You can basically be the coolest person in the world and a big, soft, teddy bear at the same time.
Vyper: I'm so close to being perfect that it's annoying me.
Kurama: So why were you cursed?
Vyper: I wasn't always like this. I use to be a cold-blooded killer. I admit that I deserve it, but that doesn't mean I'm happy about it. I've paid my price, so now I should be done with it!
Hiei: What is the curse?
Vyper: The way I died was by a spear going through my left lung, spin and into my right lung. If it had gone just a little farther I would have been like a kabob. I slowly suffocated to death. Once a year it randomly reopens and it feels like dying all over again. And I can only be killed if Buffy stakes me.
Buffy: Which isn't going to happen.
Vyper: It's supposed to be an eternal torment thing.
Kuwabara: That sucks.
Silence overcomes the room again.
Yusuke: So what do you guys do for fun?
Buffy: Dancing, movies, just hanging out.
Kurama: What are you going to do now that there are hundreds of slayers?
Giles: We are going to rebuild the Council and start a slayers academy. Buffy, Faith, Kennedy, Angel, Spike, Vyper, and Alexis are going to do all of the physical training. Wesley, Willow, Wood, Dawn, Andrew, and I will be teaching academics. Willow will also be teaching magics. Cordelia will help with office work. Xander is going to teach a shop class and help fix anything that breaks. There is a particular new slayer who has experience in running inns so office work won't be too hard for her. Her daughter isn't a slayer, but she graduated from Yale and has agreed to come teach. The same slayer has other friends who are experienced in cooking, produce and all, and there is this annoying, little Frenchman who is also very capable of helping with office work.
Kurama: What are their names, if you don't mind me asking?
Giles: The slayer is Lorelei Gilmore. Her daughter is Rory Gilmore. The cooks are Sookie Douglas and Luke Danes. The produce man is Jackson Douglas, married to Sookie; they have a baby named Davy. Jess Mariano is Luke's nephew and he can help teach. The annoying Frenchman is Michelle, I kid you not.
Kuwabara: How are you going to pay for this?
Buffy: The Council had some money left over after they blew up and since Giles is the only Council member left it's all his. And the slayers will have to pay an entrance fee and board so we'll have plenty of money soon enough.
Faith: Yeah, plus Vyper and Kennedy's dad are loaded.
Giles: Kennedy, Vyper, I know you don't want to hear this again but I deeply appreciate you helping with the expenses. It will only last until we have enough students.
Kennedy: My dad is perfectly happy to help. You guys are the reason I'm still alive.
Vyper: I've got so much cash saved up I need something to give it to. Why not this?
Andrew: How did you get all of that money?
Vyper: You know how I'm a different breed of vampire? Well, we stick together in 3 covens. There is a special team in it that protects the covens. I'm part of them, so nice big salary. The man who turned my mother was one of the 3 leaders. The other 2 died with no heirs and she killed him. She runs the whole thing now along with her werewolf/vampire husband. I'm one of mom's advisers which equals more money. Plus, I'm her only child so I get as much money as I need.
Faith: See, loaded.
Suddenly the doors open again.
Shizuru: Well, well baby bro what kind of trouble are you in now?
Kuwabara: Sis?
Shizuru: No, the creature from the black lagoon.
Keiko: Hey, Yusuke.
Yukina bows her greeting.
Genki: Koenma, don't tell me my idiot apprentice is doing something stupid.
Shori: Hello, Kurama.
Kurama: Mother, how did you-
Shori: Koenma told me… 15 years ago.
Kurama: So you've always known?
She nods. They hug. Fun stuff.
Another British man in a suit: Well, what is going on here?
Scoobies: Hey, Wesley.
A woman with wavy brown hair, really bright blue eyes, blue jeans, and a long sleeve blue shirt, and heeled boots: Oh my god! There is too much white in here. Uh blinding.
Woman with red hair and a red chef's outfit holding a baby: There are a few pastels here though.
Man that looks like a lumberjack: There isn't much of it though.
Man with blue jeans, button up plad shirt and a backwards baseball cap: Would you three stop doing that.
1rst person: Doing what?
Backwards baseball cap: Talking about color schemes.
Punk guy with black hair: You just can't stand pastels.
Girl who looks a lot like 1rst person: Don't start bickering again.
1rst person: C'mon, sweetie, it's fun.
Look-alike glares.
Little man in a suit: Why are we here? (complete with French accent)
There are only two people left in the room staying quiet. Kennedy runs up to the man.
Kennedy: Daddy!
Daddy: Hey there, Kenn.
Vyper walks up to the last person who looks suspiciously like her and they hug.
Vyper: Hey, mom.
Mom: Good to see you.
1rst person: Oh, wow, uh, new faces. Well, hi. I'm Lorelei Gilmore.
Look-alike: I'm Rory, her daughter.
Redhead: I'm Sookie Douglas and this is my son Davy.
Lumberjack: I'm her husband, Jackson.
Backwards Baseball Cap: Luke Danes.
Punk: Jess.
Frenchy: Michelle.
Kennedy's Dad: Sam.
Vyper's Mom: Selene.
Koenma: Great everyone's here so let's get going: Kurama, Hiei, Buffy, Faith, Willow, Kennedy, Vyper, and Alexis.
Boton: Koenma sir, your father just told me he wants you to pick at least one more person for this mission.
Koenma: Lorelei come with us.
Lorelei: What did I do?
Koenma: You're going with them.
Lorelei looks puzzled.
Koenma: I'll fill you in on the way.
Lorelei: Ok. Bye, Rory!
They leave.