"Oh God, Joe..." Chandler sighed and felt almost intoxicated in Joey's arms. What Joey was doing to him now was far more erotic than anything happening on the TV.

Joey was kissing Chandler's neck and unbuttoning his shirt, while pressing them against the recliner. They could still hear the urgent groaning and cheesy porn music in the background, but Joey enjoyed hearing Chandler's breathless moans far more, because they made him feel that Chandler loved him, not Janice.

Joey had never had sex with a guy before, but he figured that he could learn to adapt with a little time and hands-on exploration. All he wanted right now was just to be this close to Chandler and feel his racing pulse.

Chandler ran his fingers through Joey's hair and became worried that he was just dreaming or fantasizing again, as he had done for the past week. He whispered, "Pinch me, so I know that this is real."

Joey grinned and tweaked Chandler's right nipple, triggering a startled gasp from him. "Is that what you had in mind?"

Without a word, Chandler grabbed Joey and fiercely devoured his warm, wet mouth again. Joey got very hot and pressed his growing erection against Chandler's thigh.

Chandler reached down to tentatively grope Joey through his jeans, asking him, "Are you, are you going commando, Joe?"

Joey nodded and lightly fondled Chandler's groin in return. Then he wondered, "Hey, how come you're not scared anymore, Chandler? When I kissed you last week after the Knicks game, you pushed me off and went into your room, remember?"

"Yeah, I know. Actually, um, that night I had a dream about you, Joey."

"Yeah?" Joey met his eyes curiously.

Chandler nodded and confessed quietly, "We were in bed together, and I said I was sorry. And you kissed my cheek again and said you loved me. I kissed you back, and then all of the sudden we were making out and getting naked."

"Whoa!"

"That's why I couldn't look at you the next morning, Joe, 'cause the dream scared me so much. And since then, I've been having more dreams like that."

"You have? Why didn't you tell me, Chandler?"

"Well, 'cause I was all freaking out about being gay like my dad. Besides, I thought you were straight, Joe. I mean, all those women you've slept with."

"Oh, right." Joey hugged him reassuringly. "Yeah, it's weird, 'cause I think I still like girls, or at least the ones in all the porn today. But I don't know." He shrugged and caressed Chandler's cheek tenderly. "With you, it's different somehow. It's like, it doesn't matter that you're a guy, because you're my best friend and you're special to me. Before, I thought I just loved you like a brother, but now I know it's more than that. I get jealous about you, and I want you so much. We belong together, Chandler, and I love you."

Chandler was touched by his words. "I love you too."

Joey smiled and kissed him happily. "Good. So now you can dump Janice and be with me."

"What?" Chandler blinked and sat up. "Dump Janice?"

"Yeah," Joey nodded and looked forward to getting rid of her at last. "Maybe today or tomorrow you can meet her and tell her it's over. If you're scared to do it again, I'll help you break up with her."

"No!" Chandler objected strongly. "No, I don't wanna dump her. I love her!"

Joey pouted. "But you just said you loved me."

"I do, but I love her too. She's my soulmate."

Joey got angry and couldn't believe that Chandler was still clinging to that word. "No, she's not! She's just some pushy ex-girlfriend that doesn't know when to let you go. You just fell for her again, 'cause you were scared of dying alone and everything. But you don't need Janice anymore, Chandler! You got me."

"No, I need her, Joe! I still love her." He felt very upset that Joey would either forget or dismiss how sincere and deep his feelings were for Janice. After all, Chandler had told him why he loved her so much just before this weekend. "We met on the internet, you know, and then again at the salon. It's fate. Meant to be."

Joey looked hurt. "What about us, Chandler? What are you doing kissing me now, huh?"

Chandler swallowed and touched his arm. "Well, you kissed me, Joe, and I-I couldn't help it. I told you, I've been dreaming about you lately."

"So you should be with me, then," Joey insisted. "Don't you want to?"

Chandler nodded, but looked torn. "Yeah, but--but I can't just leave Janice."

Joey let go of him and sat on the other recliner, looking sad. "What do you want to do, then? You can't have both of us, Chandler. You gotta choose somebody. Do you love her more than me?"

Chandler shook his head and struggled to define his feelings. "No, I-I love both of you, Joe, but in different ways. I don't know how to explain. When I'm with her... but then I'm with you..."

Joey wanted to cut to the point, so he grabbed Chandler and kissed him very emotionally. "I love you, Chandler. I mean it, and I don't wanna lose you now. Not to her, not to anybody. Please give us a chance."

Chandler couldn't say no to him, but he couldn't take this impossible choice either. So he recalled Janice's shocking suggestion and reluctantly told Joey about it. "Well... well, Janice said that, that it could work out if she saw me on the weekends and you and me were together when she's not here."

"What?" Joey was quite confused. "Janice said--? Wait, what does Janice know about this? We just kissed today."

"But I've been dreaming about you for a week, and I told Janice about it--"

"You did?" He was shocked and wondered why they hadn't broken up already.

Chandler said, "I was scared to tell her at first, you know, but she sensed that something was wrong because I kept begging her to come have sex with me and fix me. So then I told her I was having gay dreams, and she made me feel a lot better about it. The first time, she said that the dreams didn't mean anything and she'd love me even if I was bi. The second time, she said that maybe I loved you, and we could arrange for you and me to be together sometimes." Seeing Joey's incredulous look, he nodded. "Yeah, I know it sounds very weird, and I told her it wouldn't work because you're straight, but--but I guess I was wrong about that." He touched Joey's hand and hoped that this compromise would satisfy Joey enough to stop asking Chandler to dump Janice.

Joey just frowned and stared at him. "Let me get this straight: you--you want me to be some kind of... mistress?"

Chandler nervously laughed at this absurdity and shrugged. "I-I don't know what you'd call it. Some kind of sharing thing I guess. Maybe like a threesome, but I don't know if you'd ever want to sleep with her too."

Joey cringed at the very idea and pulled away from Chandler.

"Sorry," Chandler said, and wasn't surprised. It did disappoint him, however, to know that Joey found her so repulsive, when Chandler (and Phoebe as well) thought Janice was beautiful and wonderful.

Joey remained bewildered and tried to puzzle things out. "Why would Janice be all right with something like that? Is she just desperate to hang onto you because being a single mother makes it hard for her to date? Or--oh, is she trying to set up some situation so that she can cheat on you while you're busy? I knew you shouldn't trust her, Chandler!"

"No!" Chandler took great offense. "No, she loves me! How could you say that about her? I told you to stop being mean about her!"

"Hey, she's the one who kissed Gary behind your back!"

"She said she was sorry for that, and she's never gonna do it again! Janice loves me, and I trust her."

"Why?" Joey scoffed bitterly. "'Cause she's your soulmate and your destiny? Well, what if you're wrong about that, huh? What if it's me you're supposed to be with?" He choked up sadly. "Why won't you trust me?"

Chandler could see how hurt Joey felt, and he spoke gently. "I do, but not about Janice. You're biased with her, because you hate her. But she doesn't hate you, Joe. She likes you, and she's willing to let us be together. Why can't you be happy about this and accept her?"

"Happy?!" Joey was outraged. "You expect me to be happy, that she's your soulmate and I'm some--some extra fling on the side? Some nobody that you fool around with, but who doesn't mean as much to you as your damn girlfriend!"

"But you--"

"I love you, Chandler," Joey interrupted, with tears in his eyes. "I kissed you, and I told you how I feel, and how we belong together. But it's not enough for you, and you don't wanna get rid of her. I mean, you're always telling me how I should settle down and not cheat on girls because it's wrong, but just because Janice says it's okay, you go along with it. How could you do that? You didn't like that Aurora girl stringing you along with all those other guys, did you, huh?"

"No, but--but I didn't mean it like that, Joe. I'm sorry. It wasn't even my idea. It's just, I didn't know what else to do. I never thought you'd want me and love me like this."

"Well I do, Chandler. I do now. I don't want Janice, and I don't want only half of you. I get jealous every time you're with her, and I can't stand it. It's her or me." Joey kissed him again and pleaded with him. "If you pick me, I promise I won't cheat on you. I love you so much and I'll change for you. But you gotta promise too. You have to end it with her."

Chandler could see Joey's point, and he struggled to make some decision, but he couldn't bear the thought of losing either of them. "But--but I can't choose, Joe! I love you both equally, and I don't know how to--"

Joey pushed him away and wouldn't listen to any more of this. "No, what you're saying is that you won't leave her for me. You pick her! Well, fine! I hope you're happy together!" Then Joey got up and went into his bedroom, slamming the door.

"Joey!" Chandler ran after him and tried the door, but it was locked. He knocked and begged for Joey to open it. "Joey, I love you! I do. Please, can't we talk about it? Can't you give me more time to decide, Joe, to make a list or...?" But then he remembered the disastrous results of Ross's list between Julie and Rachel, so he scrapped that idea. "Can't we work something out, Joe? There's got to be some way to make it work. Please?"

Joey wouldn't answer him at all, and the only noise he heard was the sound of muffled crying on his bed, probably muffled by Hugsy.

Chandler started crying too, and he knelt in front of Joey's door, clinging to it desperately. After more begging and knocking, he reluctantly gave up and slunk away.

Returning to the living room, he turned off the TV with the remote and reached for the phone, not even caring if they'd lost the porn forever. He felt terribly lost and alone, so he called Janice for comfort and reassurance.

When Janice picked up the phone at work, Chandler spoke to her miserably, "Janice! Janice, it's awful! Horrible!"

"Chandler? What's wrong, honey?"

Chandler could barely hold back his tears. "He, he kissed me, and I love him, and--Oh God! It's a disaster!" He broke down wretchedly.

"What happened?" Janice asked. "Did you have another dream about Joey?"

"No, no, it wasn't a dream this time." He gulped and tried to be clearer. "We--we found some free porn on our TV today, and I stayed home from work. We were watching together, and then, then he suddenly grabbed me and kissed me hard."

She sounded pleased. "That's wonderful. I told you he loved you, Bing-a-ling. But then what happened? Did he back off and try to deny it?" She could imagine either Chandler or Joey getting defensive and scared about being gay. Chandler's tears made it sound like it ended very badly indeed.

"No," Chandler moaned unhappily. "He said he loved me, and I told him I love him too. It felt so good," he sighed and ached to have Joey's arms around him again. "But then he told me that I should break up with you for him, and I couldn't! I couldn't, Janice!"

"Oh my. I can't believe he'd say that. Is he really that angry with me?"

"He said he's jealous and I can't have both of you. So I-I told him your idea about, about sharing, and he didn't like that at all."

"Why not? Because it was my idea?"

"I don't know. It's just--he said it was like cheating. Like he was just an affair on the side, and he didn't mean as much to me as you. He said it was wrong, and I had to choose one way or the other."

"Really? Who would have thought that Joey Tribbiani would get hung up on morals?"

Chandler answered, "Well he does, sometimes. He does. Like, he was the one who told me that I should step aside for you and Gary."

"What? I thought you did that because your family split up when you were a kid."

"Yeah, but Joey helped me see it that way. He said, you and Gary are like a family and if there's a chance you can work it out, then I shouldn't stand in the way."

Janice absorbed that and asked skeptically, "Are you sure he just didn't want to get rid of me, if he's so jealous of us?"

"Well, maybe, but Joey does believe in family and love and everything. When he found out his dad was cheating on his mom for six years, and he tried to make it right, but his mom already knew about the mistress and didn't mind it. They just went back to the way it was, and Joey didn't like it, but he couldn't convince them to stop either. Since then, he just tries to pretend that he doesn't know about it, and he talked about how he wanted to be better than his dad when he got married."

"That's nice, but it's easier said than done," Janice pointed out. "And his record with his girlfriends doesn't exactly inspire confidence."

"But he didn't love those girls," Chandler said. "They didn't mean anything to him, so he didn't care enough to be faithful. But he said he loved me, and he wouldn't cheat on me if I picked him."

"And you trust him?"

Chandler swallowed and nodded, recalling the sincere look in Joey's eyes. "Yes. Yes, I do."

"Well, if you say so, honey. But if it were me, I'd keep an eye on him until he'd proved himself for a while. But what did you say to Joey, and where is he now?"

"He's in his room. He locked me out because I couldn't choose between you and him." Chandler felt hopeless and heartbroken. "I-I think he hates me now."

"Oh, honey! No, he doesn't. Shh, it's all right. This is just a temporary setback. I'm sure we can get through to him. Maybe I can talk to him and tell him to not be so possessive."

"No, he wouldn't listen to you." Chandler finally told her the truth. "He hates you."

"Oh, he's just mad about this weekend--"

"No, Janice. He hates you. He said all these mean things about you cheating on me with Gary, and how I shouldn't trust you."

Janice was indignant. "The nerve of him! How ungrateful! After how nice I've tried to be to him, and how hard it is to not be jealous about you loving him so much... I've a good mind to lecture him about all the cheating he's done!"

"No! No, don't make it worse," Chandler begged her. "Leave it alone." He sighed and shook his head in despair and resignation. "Maybe I should just give up. It can't really work, and it was a dumb idea to begin with. I should--should pretend nothing ever happened, or..." He wept and mumbled incoherently about how he should find Dr. Meyer, or failing that, try to find some new psychiatrist that he could trust with these painful confessions.

Janice could hear how miserable he was, and she could well imagine him berating and torturing himself with guilt for weeks, months, perhaps even years afterward, when he hadn't done anything wrong, except fall in love with his best friend.

"No, honey, please don't talk like that!" she insisted. "Please, sweetie, just let me try to change Joey's mind. I'll be nice, I promise. I just, I have to show him what this is doing to you, and if he loves you like I do, then he'll realize that he can't live without you, and he can't bear to see you so unhappy either. I can convince him--"

"He wouldn't listen," Chandler said.

"We'll see about that. Now, um, first I'll have to see if somebody can cover for me at work, or else I'll have to wait until this evening, and I'll get a babysitter for Ruthie, so I can come over and talk some sense into Joey."

"Janice, don't bother. It wouldn't do any good. But just--just come see me, please. Or let me stay at your place tonight?"

"I will, sweetie, I will," she assured him tenderly. "But you just wait at your place for me, okay? And don't let Joey storm out again or anything. I have to try to talk to him, just once. I'll tell him how much you love him, and how he's getting the better deal because he gets to live with you and see you more during the week than me. I'll tell him that every ounce of your love is precious, and he shouldn't waste any more time on fighting. Then he'll realize how stubborn he's being."

Chandler doubted it, but he couldn't protest again because Janice had to get off the phone in a hurry.

"See you soon, Chandler. I love you."

"I love you." Chandler reluctantly hung up, stared longingly at Joey's bedroom door, then went to his own bedroom to cry.