In bed, Joey was still kissing Chandler and trying to comfort him about his uneasy decision to break up with Janice, when there came a knock on their front door. They ignored it at first, since it was probably just their friends wanting to hang out, and they would rather be alone right now.
But when no one answered her knock, Janice called out, "Hello? Chandler?"
Joey was surprised to hear her voice, and Chandler belatedly remembered, "I-I called her before, Joe, and she said she was going to come over here to try talking you into that sharing thing."
"Oh. Huh." Joey frowned with disapproval and disbelief. "You mean you told her everything? Even us kissing?"
Chandler nodded, realizing that Joey still found it weird that Chandler felt comfortable telling Janice such things. "Yeah, I did."
Joey shrugged and tried not to dwell on his jealousy about their close connection. Chandler had promised to end it, after all. "Well, uh, what--what do you wanna tell her now, Chandler? Do you wanna talk to her, as long as she's here, or maybe wait until you feel ready?"
"No," Chandler sat up and tried to be brave, "no, there's no point in dragging it out. I-I think I'm ready now."
"Really?"
"Yeah." Chandler took a deep breath, then got up from the bed and went to answer the front door.
Joey followed after him, believing that Chandler would need some help. He'd always needed moral support from a friend whenever he broke up with Janice before, and the unique circumstances this time would make breaking up all the more difficult.
Janice was getting worried out in the hallway; she wondered where Chandler could be, and why the apartment door was locked. Had he and Joey both left before she could get here? She wished that she could have got off work earlier to confront Joey, but she hadn't been able to manage it.
When Chandler finally unlocked and opened the door, Janice was relieved and started to give him a big hug and a kiss, but Chandler backed away from her and wore an odd, guilty expression on his face.
"Bing-a-ling? What's the matter?" But then she noticed Joey standing behind Chandler and guessed that Chandler just didn't want to inflame Joey's jealousy. "Oh, never mind. I get it." So Janice took off her coat and started to enter the living room. "Well, you're just the person I wanted to see, Joey. From what Chandler's told me on the phone, we all definitely need to discuss our little situation here." Clearing her throat firmly, she sat on the couch and motioned for Joey to sit too.
Chandler silently shut the door again and felt horrible already at the thought of having to break Janice's heart. She was his soulmate, and he still loved her.
Janice continued obliviously, "Now, I know that apparently you hate me again, Joey, but I'm sure that we can work through our differences, just like with our Day of Fun, remember? The important thing is that we both love Chandler, and I know that we can reach some compromise to please everybody, okay?"
Joey folded his arms and glared at her, shocked that she seemed so matter-of-fact about her proposed compromise.
Janice put her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes. "Well, it's not like you're a stranger to threesomes, Joey! This arrangement isn't all that different--"
Interrrupting her, Chandler gulped and sat down next to her. "Um, Janice, wait. I-I have to tell you something."
"What is it, honey?" She turned to him with concern and complete ignorance of the blow that was about to fall.
Chandler met her eyes, but lost his courage and glanced at the floor with shame.
Joey reached out to hold his hand, and offered in a whisper, "You want me to tell her?"
Chandler shook his head and wanted to do this himself, for Joey would probably take too much pleasure in dumping Janice, and he didn't want to hurt her more than was necessary. So Chandler tried again and spoke as gently as he could, "Janice, I'm sorry, but I-I have to break up with you."
"What?" Janice glanced at Joey suspiciously and pushed his hand away from Chandler's. "Sweetie, you don't 'have to' do anything he tells you to do. He's just--"
"No, no!" Chandler interrupted. "It's not that Joey told me I 'have to' at all. It's, uh, it's actually about my parents, Janice. You see, I just found out... something even more weird and disturbing about them today, and I just--I can't stand the thought of us ending up like they did. I mean, I don't want to screw up your kid, or for us to hate each other someday. So I think we should break up before it's too late. I'm sorry."
Janice couldn't believe what she was hearing. "What do you mean 'too late'? And what about your parents?" She thought for a moment and guessed, "Did you call your dad today?"
Chandler shook his head. "No, um, it was his old letters that he sent me years ago. I never read them before, but I didn't throw them away either. I just stashed them with all that other stuff at the back of my closet." Chandler had told Janice about these embarrassing relics from his childhood during their conversation the other night.
"You did?" she asked, baffled. "I don't even understand why you would keep any of that stuff for so long, if it makes you that uncomfortable."
Chandler shrugged and couldn't really defend his logic. "I don't know. I guess I'm paranoid that somebody will dig through my trash and find all that stuff. But it's like whenever Joey puts a scary book in the freezer: if I put that stuff in the closet, it's like I have control over it and I'm safe from my memories."
"Oh, honey!" Janice tried to hug him comfortingly, but Joey got jealous and pulled Chandler closer to him.
Chandler didn't like being fought over, and he withdrew from both of them. "So, um, Joey finally got me to read the letters today, and it turns out that my dad was in love with his best man from the wedding, and he and my mom tried to share him for a while, but it just turned into a big disaster, and the guy left, you know, to get away from the bickering. My dad was so heartbroken, he became an alcoholic blond chasing after 20-year-old boys, and my mom became... my mom." He shuddered at the thought of his mother, the Freudian nightmare.
Janice was surprised, but fairly calm about this revelation. "They had a three-way with a guy? Wow, well that certainly explains a lot about their bitterness and jealousy. Your parents didn't handle their divorce nearly as well as Ross and Carol handled theirs, and even that situation got tense and petty sometimes about Susan or Ben."
Chandler grimaced at the memory of his parents' divorce, which was filled with so much wretchedness and spite that he only survived the trauma by living in denial, wetting the bed, smoking, and using humor as a defense mechanism. No wonder he grew up to have so many issues about commitment and relationships.
"Yeah, it got really... really bad at the end," Chandler whispered simply. "And I just, I don't want us to end up like that, Janice. I don't!"
"Of course not, honey!" Janice spoke with understanding and sympathy, "I'm sorry about what happened with your parents. I really am. But, Chandler, I don't see how this changes anything now. Just because it didn't work out for your parents doesn't mean it won't work out for us. We're not them. Please don't be so pessimistic."
Joey scoffed. "Are you crazy? It's like a guaranteed disaster! Did Chandler tell you about how he didn't like being strung along by that Aurora girl? Did Phoebe tell you how she found out that her parents had a thing with her birthmother, who abandoned her and they all lied for years? It never works out!"
Janice shook her head and insisted, "No, you're wrong, Joey! A three-way relationship is only bad sometimes!" She turned to Chandler and explained, "Honey, there are bad marriages and good marriages, but that doesn't mean all marriages are doomed from the start, right? Some people are happy, and it's not a disaster. A three-way can really work sometimes, if the people are just committed enough and mature enough to handle it. I mean, in the history of art and literature, there's all sorts of unconventional relationships, you know? And hey, the French invented that phrase ménage a trios for people who live like that, so it does work sometimes!" Seeing Joey's continued skepticism, she sighed and pointed out, "Well, hey, look at what happened with your parents and their mistress! They all know about each other, right? And how long have they been together, huh?"
Joey was shocked that she would use his parents as an example, for he certainly wasn't happy with the continued affair with Ronni Rappellano, the pet mortician. No matter how nice this mistress was, how happy she made his father, or how Gloria said that she was fine with it, Joey still felt that a terrible wrong was being done to his mother, and he wished that they would all come to their senses and stop.
While Joey gave her a look of speechless outrage, Chandler replied to Janice's question, "Um, I think ten years now." He added the past four years to the six years that Joseph Sr. had confessed to regarding his secret affair.
"Well, there you go," Janice nodded. "They've clearly made it work."
Chandler's hopes were raised, and he started to be swayed by her argument, but Joey protested stubbornly, "No, no! It's wrong and it's cheating! You're just making excuses so you can get your way."
"No, I'm not!" Janice responded angrily, "It's only cheating when your lover doesn't know about it and isn't okay with it! Like what you do when you're dating girls and start seeing someone else on the side, when they don't know about it. That's cheating! How do you think those girls feel when they find out you've used them and lied to them?"
Caught off guard, Joey frowned and stammered, "But--but I wasn't serious about them. I-I was just having fun."
"Fun! Hmph. I bet they didn't think it was fun when you dumped them! How would you react if some guy did that kind of stuff to one your women friends, huh? Or your sisters? Didn't you come down hard on Chandler for making out with your sister?"
Joey bit his lip and wished that Chandler hadn't told Janice everything. "Well, it wasn't just that. He groped her in the storage room and said he could seriously fall for her. Then he lied to me too, and didn't remember which sister, and caused a big incident."
"I know, but you do more than grope your dates, Joey, and I know you tell them all sorts of insincere lines, because you once dated my friend Lorraine. You're lucky those girls didn't have some close friend or brother who'd come after you for your behavior."
Joey felt guilty and admitted, "All right, fine. But that's still not the same as this three-way thing you're talking about, Janice. When you love someone and they really matter to you, you stop fooling around. I mean, I did that with Kate. I broke up with her understudy and thought she'd break up with the director, but she didn't. She pretended like it meant nothing to her, and it really hurt me. I don't want that to happen again." He reached out for Chandler's hand and met his eyes meaningfully.
"But no one would have to be hurt this time," Janice said. "There'd be no lying or going behind each other's backs. We'd be upfront about everything. I mean, you've had threesomes with girls, Joey, so you know it's possible to share someone without lying, even if it's only for one night of passion. Now Chandler and I have had a threesome with Phoebe, and--"
"What?!" Joey looked stunned and confused.
Chandler blushed deeply and wasn't sure what to say. "I, uh, I..." He gulped and trailed off.
Janice explained, "We had it this weekend, Joey. That's why Phoebe was around so much. We lied to everybody about it for privacy's sake, but if you're gonna be part of a three-way with us, then you might as well know."
"That's why you--? Ugh!" Joey realized now why Phoebe was being so chummy with Janice; they were having sex. But unlike most lesbian couplings that he liked to fantasize about, Joey was repulsed by that image, and he didn't like Janice assuming that he'd agree to a three-way involving her too.
Janice declared, "The point is, Joey, it's possible to love someone and yet be okay with inviting another person into your relationship. Chandler loves us both, and you and me would just have to compromise and agree to get along again, like on our Day of Fun, you know? I mean, it could even be helpful and practical for both of us to share him. I wouldn't need to be here all the time, when I'm busy and worn out with Ruthie, and you can enjoy Chandler for most of the week. And maybe you can teach him how to cook more things and babysit Ruthie. Maybe I could do you favors too, if you tell me what you want."
Joey thought that she sounded far too dispassionate about this proposed arrangement. "Helpful and practical!" he snorted. "This is about love! If you really loved him, you wouldn't be okay with this. You'd get jealous."
"I do get jealous!" she told him, taking offense at his accusation. "Why do you think I kicked you out of here the other night, Joey? I love Chandler Bing with all my heart and soul, and the way he looks at you sometimes makes me ache." She sighed and barely held back her tears. "But it's just that, with me having Ruthie to take care of, I don't have nearly as much time or energy to give Chandler as I used to, and Chandler gets very insecure when I'm not around. I just thought, if you could be here for him, if you could help keep him happy, then I could live with this arrangement. I'd do anything for him. He's my soulmate!"
Joey still hated that word, as applied to Chandler and Janice. "He doesn't belong to you! I'm the one who's been with Chandler all these years, before you ever came along. You just come in and out of his life like some pest, and then you left him for Gary."
"How dare you?! It's not like you were sleeping with him all that time and were honest about your feelings. Besides, Chandler was the one who kept dumping me stupidly back then, even when I was ready to forgive him and start over many times. And Gary was my husband and the father of my child! I couldn't just ignore that, and the divorce wasn't even final yet, so I gave my marriage one more try, for my family's sake. But I never stopped loving Chandler! I never did."
Joey pouted. "That didn't do Chandler any good that Thanksgiving after you left. He was all scared that he'd die alone again, and I was the one who had to take care of him. I'm there when he needs me."
"And yet you left him once, didn't you?" she answered. "You moved out and left for that new apartment. You left him all alone because of some silly fight and you hurt him deeply. You're not so perfect, either, Joey! Everyone makes mistakes. I made a mistake and lost Chandler before, and I don't want to lose him again. Can't you see that, Joey?"
Joey remained inflexible. "You got Phoebe. What do you need Chandler for?"
"Ohh!" Janice almost reached over to slap him. "I love him, that's why! If you loved him--"
"I do! More than you! You're already cheating on him again!"
They fought loudly about cheating and who loved Chandler more, furiously talking over each other and interrupting each other with petty insults.
"Stop it, stop it!" Chandler shouted over them. He couldn't take this anymore, for it reminded him too much of his parents' vicious bickering during their divorce. It didn't bode well for a three-way relationship, if they were this jealous and hostile to each other, and he didn't want to be fought over.
When they had quieted down and turned to him apologetically, Chandler gulped and forced himself to say, "Janice... Janice, I think--I think you should go. And not come back."
"What?" she blinked and gasped. "But Chandler, I--! Honey, I'm so sorry about this fight. I just lost my temper, but--"
He shook his head. "It's--it's just like my parents. I-I won't live through that again."
Joey took Chandler's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. He was glad that Chandler saw sense and was sticking by his earlier decision to break up with Janice.
She got very upset, pleading, "But--but we're soulmates! We belong together. I-I love you, Bing-a-ling."
Chandler winced and wanted to say that he loved her too. In fact, he loved her enough to let her go, hoping that she'd find a normal, happy life with someone else, instead of getting tangled up in a re-creation of his parents' twisted relationship. "Go. Before it's too late."
Janice just stared at him and couldn't accept that this was the end. That there would be no Chan and Jan forever. She wept openly, reaching for a handkerchief and sniffling as she got up from the couch. "Fine!" she choked through her tears. "Fine, I'll go now if that's what you really want, Chandler."
He nodded and wouldn't face her. His heart was breaking too.
Janice gave up and turned to grab her coat and purse. But as she walked past, she turned to Joey and poked him in the chest threateningly. "But you listen to me, buster! If you ever, ever cheat on Chandler and hurt him, then I'll hunt you down and make you pay!"
"I won't hurt him!" Joey said fiercely, tempted to add, "Not like you" to remind her of her infidelity with Gary. But another gibe like that would probably upset Chandler right now, so he held his tongue.
Janice scoffed, not believing for a second that Joey was capable of fidelity yet, no matter how much he claimed to love Chandler. She just gathered her things and went to the door. Then she opened it and looked back to Chandler miserably, whispering, "Goodbye, Bing-a-ling. I'll--I'll miss you so much. If it doesn't work out with him--"
"It will!" Joey said indignantly, losing patience. "I'm not gonna cheat on him! So just leave, like he told you to."
She scowled at Joey, then exited and slammed the door.
Hating to see her so hurt, Chandler got up and started to go after her with regret, but Joey stopped him and looked hurt.
"Chandler?"
Turning away from the door, Chandler sighed and sat down. "I'm sorry, Joe. I'm sorry. It's just--it's just, I love her. I still love her, Joe. This is so hard!" He put his head down in his hands and cried.
"I know." Joey came closer and hugged him. "But you'll get over her again, and you'll be with me. We'll--we'll be happy. You'll see."
Chandler nodded but didn't feel anywhere near happy now.
[Don't worry about Janice just yet. She'll be comforted by Phoebe for now, and eventually the three-way arrangement will return as a viable possibility.
Joey just needs some time alone with Chandler to prove his fidelity and to get over his insecurity about Chandler's love for him. And of course, to reconcile with Janice.]
But when no one answered her knock, Janice called out, "Hello? Chandler?"
Joey was surprised to hear her voice, and Chandler belatedly remembered, "I-I called her before, Joe, and she said she was going to come over here to try talking you into that sharing thing."
"Oh. Huh." Joey frowned with disapproval and disbelief. "You mean you told her everything? Even us kissing?"
Chandler nodded, realizing that Joey still found it weird that Chandler felt comfortable telling Janice such things. "Yeah, I did."
Joey shrugged and tried not to dwell on his jealousy about their close connection. Chandler had promised to end it, after all. "Well, uh, what--what do you wanna tell her now, Chandler? Do you wanna talk to her, as long as she's here, or maybe wait until you feel ready?"
"No," Chandler sat up and tried to be brave, "no, there's no point in dragging it out. I-I think I'm ready now."
"Really?"
"Yeah." Chandler took a deep breath, then got up from the bed and went to answer the front door.
Joey followed after him, believing that Chandler would need some help. He'd always needed moral support from a friend whenever he broke up with Janice before, and the unique circumstances this time would make breaking up all the more difficult.
Janice was getting worried out in the hallway; she wondered where Chandler could be, and why the apartment door was locked. Had he and Joey both left before she could get here? She wished that she could have got off work earlier to confront Joey, but she hadn't been able to manage it.
When Chandler finally unlocked and opened the door, Janice was relieved and started to give him a big hug and a kiss, but Chandler backed away from her and wore an odd, guilty expression on his face.
"Bing-a-ling? What's the matter?" But then she noticed Joey standing behind Chandler and guessed that Chandler just didn't want to inflame Joey's jealousy. "Oh, never mind. I get it." So Janice took off her coat and started to enter the living room. "Well, you're just the person I wanted to see, Joey. From what Chandler's told me on the phone, we all definitely need to discuss our little situation here." Clearing her throat firmly, she sat on the couch and motioned for Joey to sit too.
Chandler silently shut the door again and felt horrible already at the thought of having to break Janice's heart. She was his soulmate, and he still loved her.
Janice continued obliviously, "Now, I know that apparently you hate me again, Joey, but I'm sure that we can work through our differences, just like with our Day of Fun, remember? The important thing is that we both love Chandler, and I know that we can reach some compromise to please everybody, okay?"
Joey folded his arms and glared at her, shocked that she seemed so matter-of-fact about her proposed compromise.
Janice put her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes. "Well, it's not like you're a stranger to threesomes, Joey! This arrangement isn't all that different--"
Interrrupting her, Chandler gulped and sat down next to her. "Um, Janice, wait. I-I have to tell you something."
"What is it, honey?" She turned to him with concern and complete ignorance of the blow that was about to fall.
Chandler met her eyes, but lost his courage and glanced at the floor with shame.
Joey reached out to hold his hand, and offered in a whisper, "You want me to tell her?"
Chandler shook his head and wanted to do this himself, for Joey would probably take too much pleasure in dumping Janice, and he didn't want to hurt her more than was necessary. So Chandler tried again and spoke as gently as he could, "Janice, I'm sorry, but I-I have to break up with you."
"What?" Janice glanced at Joey suspiciously and pushed his hand away from Chandler's. "Sweetie, you don't 'have to' do anything he tells you to do. He's just--"
"No, no!" Chandler interrupted. "It's not that Joey told me I 'have to' at all. It's, uh, it's actually about my parents, Janice. You see, I just found out... something even more weird and disturbing about them today, and I just--I can't stand the thought of us ending up like they did. I mean, I don't want to screw up your kid, or for us to hate each other someday. So I think we should break up before it's too late. I'm sorry."
Janice couldn't believe what she was hearing. "What do you mean 'too late'? And what about your parents?" She thought for a moment and guessed, "Did you call your dad today?"
Chandler shook his head. "No, um, it was his old letters that he sent me years ago. I never read them before, but I didn't throw them away either. I just stashed them with all that other stuff at the back of my closet." Chandler had told Janice about these embarrassing relics from his childhood during their conversation the other night.
"You did?" she asked, baffled. "I don't even understand why you would keep any of that stuff for so long, if it makes you that uncomfortable."
Chandler shrugged and couldn't really defend his logic. "I don't know. I guess I'm paranoid that somebody will dig through my trash and find all that stuff. But it's like whenever Joey puts a scary book in the freezer: if I put that stuff in the closet, it's like I have control over it and I'm safe from my memories."
"Oh, honey!" Janice tried to hug him comfortingly, but Joey got jealous and pulled Chandler closer to him.
Chandler didn't like being fought over, and he withdrew from both of them. "So, um, Joey finally got me to read the letters today, and it turns out that my dad was in love with his best man from the wedding, and he and my mom tried to share him for a while, but it just turned into a big disaster, and the guy left, you know, to get away from the bickering. My dad was so heartbroken, he became an alcoholic blond chasing after 20-year-old boys, and my mom became... my mom." He shuddered at the thought of his mother, the Freudian nightmare.
Janice was surprised, but fairly calm about this revelation. "They had a three-way with a guy? Wow, well that certainly explains a lot about their bitterness and jealousy. Your parents didn't handle their divorce nearly as well as Ross and Carol handled theirs, and even that situation got tense and petty sometimes about Susan or Ben."
Chandler grimaced at the memory of his parents' divorce, which was filled with so much wretchedness and spite that he only survived the trauma by living in denial, wetting the bed, smoking, and using humor as a defense mechanism. No wonder he grew up to have so many issues about commitment and relationships.
"Yeah, it got really... really bad at the end," Chandler whispered simply. "And I just, I don't want us to end up like that, Janice. I don't!"
"Of course not, honey!" Janice spoke with understanding and sympathy, "I'm sorry about what happened with your parents. I really am. But, Chandler, I don't see how this changes anything now. Just because it didn't work out for your parents doesn't mean it won't work out for us. We're not them. Please don't be so pessimistic."
Joey scoffed. "Are you crazy? It's like a guaranteed disaster! Did Chandler tell you about how he didn't like being strung along by that Aurora girl? Did Phoebe tell you how she found out that her parents had a thing with her birthmother, who abandoned her and they all lied for years? It never works out!"
Janice shook her head and insisted, "No, you're wrong, Joey! A three-way relationship is only bad sometimes!" She turned to Chandler and explained, "Honey, there are bad marriages and good marriages, but that doesn't mean all marriages are doomed from the start, right? Some people are happy, and it's not a disaster. A three-way can really work sometimes, if the people are just committed enough and mature enough to handle it. I mean, in the history of art and literature, there's all sorts of unconventional relationships, you know? And hey, the French invented that phrase ménage a trios for people who live like that, so it does work sometimes!" Seeing Joey's continued skepticism, she sighed and pointed out, "Well, hey, look at what happened with your parents and their mistress! They all know about each other, right? And how long have they been together, huh?"
Joey was shocked that she would use his parents as an example, for he certainly wasn't happy with the continued affair with Ronni Rappellano, the pet mortician. No matter how nice this mistress was, how happy she made his father, or how Gloria said that she was fine with it, Joey still felt that a terrible wrong was being done to his mother, and he wished that they would all come to their senses and stop.
While Joey gave her a look of speechless outrage, Chandler replied to Janice's question, "Um, I think ten years now." He added the past four years to the six years that Joseph Sr. had confessed to regarding his secret affair.
"Well, there you go," Janice nodded. "They've clearly made it work."
Chandler's hopes were raised, and he started to be swayed by her argument, but Joey protested stubbornly, "No, no! It's wrong and it's cheating! You're just making excuses so you can get your way."
"No, I'm not!" Janice responded angrily, "It's only cheating when your lover doesn't know about it and isn't okay with it! Like what you do when you're dating girls and start seeing someone else on the side, when they don't know about it. That's cheating! How do you think those girls feel when they find out you've used them and lied to them?"
Caught off guard, Joey frowned and stammered, "But--but I wasn't serious about them. I-I was just having fun."
"Fun! Hmph. I bet they didn't think it was fun when you dumped them! How would you react if some guy did that kind of stuff to one your women friends, huh? Or your sisters? Didn't you come down hard on Chandler for making out with your sister?"
Joey bit his lip and wished that Chandler hadn't told Janice everything. "Well, it wasn't just that. He groped her in the storage room and said he could seriously fall for her. Then he lied to me too, and didn't remember which sister, and caused a big incident."
"I know, but you do more than grope your dates, Joey, and I know you tell them all sorts of insincere lines, because you once dated my friend Lorraine. You're lucky those girls didn't have some close friend or brother who'd come after you for your behavior."
Joey felt guilty and admitted, "All right, fine. But that's still not the same as this three-way thing you're talking about, Janice. When you love someone and they really matter to you, you stop fooling around. I mean, I did that with Kate. I broke up with her understudy and thought she'd break up with the director, but she didn't. She pretended like it meant nothing to her, and it really hurt me. I don't want that to happen again." He reached out for Chandler's hand and met his eyes meaningfully.
"But no one would have to be hurt this time," Janice said. "There'd be no lying or going behind each other's backs. We'd be upfront about everything. I mean, you've had threesomes with girls, Joey, so you know it's possible to share someone without lying, even if it's only for one night of passion. Now Chandler and I have had a threesome with Phoebe, and--"
"What?!" Joey looked stunned and confused.
Chandler blushed deeply and wasn't sure what to say. "I, uh, I..." He gulped and trailed off.
Janice explained, "We had it this weekend, Joey. That's why Phoebe was around so much. We lied to everybody about it for privacy's sake, but if you're gonna be part of a three-way with us, then you might as well know."
"That's why you--? Ugh!" Joey realized now why Phoebe was being so chummy with Janice; they were having sex. But unlike most lesbian couplings that he liked to fantasize about, Joey was repulsed by that image, and he didn't like Janice assuming that he'd agree to a three-way involving her too.
Janice declared, "The point is, Joey, it's possible to love someone and yet be okay with inviting another person into your relationship. Chandler loves us both, and you and me would just have to compromise and agree to get along again, like on our Day of Fun, you know? I mean, it could even be helpful and practical for both of us to share him. I wouldn't need to be here all the time, when I'm busy and worn out with Ruthie, and you can enjoy Chandler for most of the week. And maybe you can teach him how to cook more things and babysit Ruthie. Maybe I could do you favors too, if you tell me what you want."
Joey thought that she sounded far too dispassionate about this proposed arrangement. "Helpful and practical!" he snorted. "This is about love! If you really loved him, you wouldn't be okay with this. You'd get jealous."
"I do get jealous!" she told him, taking offense at his accusation. "Why do you think I kicked you out of here the other night, Joey? I love Chandler Bing with all my heart and soul, and the way he looks at you sometimes makes me ache." She sighed and barely held back her tears. "But it's just that, with me having Ruthie to take care of, I don't have nearly as much time or energy to give Chandler as I used to, and Chandler gets very insecure when I'm not around. I just thought, if you could be here for him, if you could help keep him happy, then I could live with this arrangement. I'd do anything for him. He's my soulmate!"
Joey still hated that word, as applied to Chandler and Janice. "He doesn't belong to you! I'm the one who's been with Chandler all these years, before you ever came along. You just come in and out of his life like some pest, and then you left him for Gary."
"How dare you?! It's not like you were sleeping with him all that time and were honest about your feelings. Besides, Chandler was the one who kept dumping me stupidly back then, even when I was ready to forgive him and start over many times. And Gary was my husband and the father of my child! I couldn't just ignore that, and the divorce wasn't even final yet, so I gave my marriage one more try, for my family's sake. But I never stopped loving Chandler! I never did."
Joey pouted. "That didn't do Chandler any good that Thanksgiving after you left. He was all scared that he'd die alone again, and I was the one who had to take care of him. I'm there when he needs me."
"And yet you left him once, didn't you?" she answered. "You moved out and left for that new apartment. You left him all alone because of some silly fight and you hurt him deeply. You're not so perfect, either, Joey! Everyone makes mistakes. I made a mistake and lost Chandler before, and I don't want to lose him again. Can't you see that, Joey?"
Joey remained inflexible. "You got Phoebe. What do you need Chandler for?"
"Ohh!" Janice almost reached over to slap him. "I love him, that's why! If you loved him--"
"I do! More than you! You're already cheating on him again!"
They fought loudly about cheating and who loved Chandler more, furiously talking over each other and interrupting each other with petty insults.
"Stop it, stop it!" Chandler shouted over them. He couldn't take this anymore, for it reminded him too much of his parents' vicious bickering during their divorce. It didn't bode well for a three-way relationship, if they were this jealous and hostile to each other, and he didn't want to be fought over.
When they had quieted down and turned to him apologetically, Chandler gulped and forced himself to say, "Janice... Janice, I think--I think you should go. And not come back."
"What?" she blinked and gasped. "But Chandler, I--! Honey, I'm so sorry about this fight. I just lost my temper, but--"
He shook his head. "It's--it's just like my parents. I-I won't live through that again."
Joey took Chandler's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. He was glad that Chandler saw sense and was sticking by his earlier decision to break up with Janice.
She got very upset, pleading, "But--but we're soulmates! We belong together. I-I love you, Bing-a-ling."
Chandler winced and wanted to say that he loved her too. In fact, he loved her enough to let her go, hoping that she'd find a normal, happy life with someone else, instead of getting tangled up in a re-creation of his parents' twisted relationship. "Go. Before it's too late."
Janice just stared at him and couldn't accept that this was the end. That there would be no Chan and Jan forever. She wept openly, reaching for a handkerchief and sniffling as she got up from the couch. "Fine!" she choked through her tears. "Fine, I'll go now if that's what you really want, Chandler."
He nodded and wouldn't face her. His heart was breaking too.
Janice gave up and turned to grab her coat and purse. But as she walked past, she turned to Joey and poked him in the chest threateningly. "But you listen to me, buster! If you ever, ever cheat on Chandler and hurt him, then I'll hunt you down and make you pay!"
"I won't hurt him!" Joey said fiercely, tempted to add, "Not like you" to remind her of her infidelity with Gary. But another gibe like that would probably upset Chandler right now, so he held his tongue.
Janice scoffed, not believing for a second that Joey was capable of fidelity yet, no matter how much he claimed to love Chandler. She just gathered her things and went to the door. Then she opened it and looked back to Chandler miserably, whispering, "Goodbye, Bing-a-ling. I'll--I'll miss you so much. If it doesn't work out with him--"
"It will!" Joey said indignantly, losing patience. "I'm not gonna cheat on him! So just leave, like he told you to."
She scowled at Joey, then exited and slammed the door.
Hating to see her so hurt, Chandler got up and started to go after her with regret, but Joey stopped him and looked hurt.
"Chandler?"
Turning away from the door, Chandler sighed and sat down. "I'm sorry, Joe. I'm sorry. It's just--it's just, I love her. I still love her, Joe. This is so hard!" He put his head down in his hands and cried.
"I know." Joey came closer and hugged him. "But you'll get over her again, and you'll be with me. We'll--we'll be happy. You'll see."
Chandler nodded but didn't feel anywhere near happy now.
[Don't worry about Janice just yet. She'll be comforted by Phoebe for now, and eventually the three-way arrangement will return as a viable possibility.
Joey just needs some time alone with Chandler to prove his fidelity and to get over his insecurity about Chandler's love for him. And of course, to reconcile with Janice.]