Donna's Apartment
It was getting harder for her to face each day. She felt like such an idiot. Why was she still here? She lay awake at night wondering that very thing. She could say she liked her job but truth is she found it monotonous. She was too good for it, she knew it and she knew Josh did too, even if he didn't want to admit it. And her colleagues, she did love them, they were like a second family to her but they weren't enough to keep her doing this, so what was making her stay?
The answer was so obvious, maybe that's why she hadn't noticed it before, like how you can't see what's right under your nose. Or maybe it was that she had noticed but hadn't wanted to believe it because when she finally realised she got a sense that she'd known all along, and maybe she did, who knew really? The fact of the matter was that she knew her reason and it was the same one that made her want to leave. Josh. It all came back to Josh. Joshua bloody Lyman.
'What am I going to do?' She thought surprisingly calm. She should have guessed something like this would happen, she always went for the wrong guys and then she finds the right one and he happens to be her best friend, her boss and, unfortunately, completely in love with another woman. This was just so Donna. She needed to do something, to vent or forget or…
Her thoughts finished in a different place to her body for she was already out of bed, had grabbed her bag and was out of her apartment and heading down the street. She was lucky Josh had let her finish early because it meant there was still time for her to head to the bar. As her mind wandered to why he had let her finish early Donna's eager quest for the bar increased in speed.
"Your strongest drink," she declared the second she opened the door.
"Someone's looking to forget," a bar patron commented as she reached the bar.
"Shut it Jim, I'm not in the mood." She downed the drink, and another, and another.
Seven more drinks and Donna was well and truly drunk.
"I'm impressed," Jim said. "I've never seen anyone drink ten of them and still be able to sit upright right never mind stand."
He was talking to the bartender because Donna was no longer sat at the bar but instead was stood over by a dirty old jukebox in the corner selecting a song. The bartender nodded in agreement but soon stopped when he saw Donna.
She was no longer by the jukebox but instead attempting to climb onto a table as a song came from the jukebox. Donna, in a rather slurred and tearful voice began singing along to it whilst doing a slightly bizarre dance. It was kind of a cross between the Chicken Dance, the Moonwalk and one a person can just make up on the spur of the moment. A very frightening sight.
"They said you would never love me,
They said I was just a fool,
Holding on to childish dreams,
Whoever could have known?
You came to need me,
You came to change,
Holding on to childish dreams,
I began to believe.
They say love can make it easy,
They say love can make it hard,
They say love can make a difference,
To warm a cold mans heart.
What a fool I was,
What a fool I became,
They said you'd never love me,
And you proved them right.
I say love is dangerous,
I say love is beautiful,
I say love is just a theory,
Never to be wrong.
They say love can make it easy,
They say love can make it hard,
They say love can make a difference,
To warm a cold mans heart."
Even after the song had finished Donna carried on singing and doing her ridiculous dance, except it wasn't really dancing anymore, it was sad wailing. Everyone in the bar looked at her with pity, they couldn't help it. Their thoughts were like, 'What could have happened to such a woman to make her like this?' This wasn't something they saw everyday.
"Pass me her bag," the bartender instructed Jim who passed it to him.
The bartender was aware of who Donna was, she had made it known the first time she had gone there, secretly of course, and told him that if anything happened he was to call the number that would be written on yellow card inside her purse. There would be a message underneath the number to tell whoever answered to ensure it wasn't a hoax. The bartender was sure this counted as 'something happening'.
"Blue skies hold many secrets," the bartender read down the phone to the man at the other end.
"One second please," his voice was deep and sounded incredibly bored.
- - - - - - - -
CJ's Office, West Wing
"…It needed to be said," Toby cried for the fiftieth time that hour.
CJ just glared at him. It was nearing one in the morning, both were tired but neither seemed about to leave any time soon as CJ had locked the door and was keeping the pocket well hidden from Toby.
"Well it did," Toby pointed out. He was sat on the couch being stared down by a fuming CJ who stood leaning on her desk, arms folded across her chest.
"No, it didn't," CJ countered. "Because it wasn't true now will you just hear this plan? I know it'll work."
Toby sighed but didn't answer, what was the point? He'd known CJ for a long time now; he knew when it was best to just let her talk.
"Ok, so we invite Josh and Kim out on a night out with us," CJ began, ignoring the rolling eyes from Toby. "We'll have a few drinks, enough to make me seem drunk and then you go off to the bar with Josh…"
"If you're about to say that I then tell him that he's mad and that Donna's the girl for him the forget it, I'm not interested." Toby had been caught up in CJ's crazy schemes way too often to know that this one wouldn't work, plus, he knew how stubborn Josh could be.
"Smart ass," she announced when he's finished. "That's not the plan; the plan is much more subtle. The plan is this; you take Josh to the bar and keep him there long enough for me to have a little chat with Kim."
"So it's the same, but reversed?" Toby muttered darkly.
"No, because if it were I would come right out and tell her what's so blindingly obvious to everyone but those three apparently. No, we'll do it with a woman's touch. I'll let my 'loose tongue' let slip a few facts about Josh-Donna history. Rosslyn, Gaza, their anniversary, that kind of stuff. She's a shrink; she should pick it up easily enough."
"It's not going to work," Toby told her gently.
CJ seemed to realise this as she sat on her desk and began considering her plan. There was silence in the room so the sound of the phone ringing startled both of them.
"CJ Cregg," she answered when the phone rang.
"Yeah, hi, you don't know me, my name's Ben and I work at…." The voice on the other end was nervous and in the background CJ could faintly hear the sound of really bad off-key singing.
"Look, I don't know how you got past the security thing but I'm a little busy so if you want to stop wasting my time," she said sharply but was cut off by the man on the other end.
"You know Donna right? Donna Moss."
CJ stopped her mental rant at the man and answered him, "Yeah, why?"
"Well can you hear that?" CJ heard as the winging got louder and then quieter as the man spoke again. "That's her, she's really smashed and you're the lucky person who gets to come get her."
"I think not," CJ answered, not believing for a minute that the woman in the background was Donna.
Donna didn't get drunk, she was always very careful about what she did, drinking especially. She was about to hang up when she realised that it did sound like her and after the way things had been lately she could hardly blame her if Donna had decided to just let herself go for once. And then a new plan formulated in her mind; Donna always had to deal with a drunken Josh, why shouldn't he repay the favour?
"Where are you?" She asked Ben.
Ben told her the address and she wrote it down. "Great, someone will be there soon. Thanks for letting me know." Then she hung up and grinned a wicked smile to a questioning Toby.
"What's going on?" He asked.
Her smile grew. "Let's just say it's a good job plans change," she told him as she began dialling Josh's number.
- - - - - - - -
Downtown Bar
He'd got the phone call at some ridiculous hour in the morning and so didn't really pay much attention when CJ told him Donna was drunk in some bar downtown and needed picking up. Why should he? That wasn't Donna-like behaviour and he was far happier asleep in bed but the more he'd tried to hang up, the more serious CJ seemed, and eventually he agreed to go down just to get her to shut up. Now that he was there, he was glad he had. Seeing your assistant doing some crazy dance while singing the words to some soft rock song you've never heard of is scary enough but when you realise that she's crying her heart out and wearing her pyjamas then you know something's wrong.
"Let's get you home," Josh told her soothingly, stroking her hair softly. "Did you bring anything with you?" He asked as he pulled away from her examining her tear-stained face.
The water in her eyes made them sparkle that little bit more than usual and Josh couldn't help but be amazed by the feelings expressed in those little green orbs. As he stared into her eyes the sounds around him faded, somewhere in the distance he heard a voice.
"Just her bag, it's here."
He was whipped from his reverie and wished instantly he was back there. Shaking his head of all the thoughts running through his head Josh took her bag and led Donna out of the bar, his arm resting around her shoulders. He put her in the car and drove up to her apartment building then helped her out and helped her up the stairs. Laying her on her bed he crouched beside it and studied her carefully.
"What happened to make you drink so much?" He muttered quietly, not wanting to disturb her.
She was lying on her bed looking straight up at the ceiling; her breathing was shallow and staggered. Slowly she turned on her side and looked at Josh.
"You have pretty eyes," she told him randomly, making him smile.
"You do too," he mentioned almost shyly. "Now go to sleep or you'll have a killer headache in the morning."
"I'm not tired," she answered back childishly, taking a pause before continuing. "I want to ask you something."
"Alright, but you have to promise to sleep when you're done." He spoke as though he were talking to a child; soft, gentle and fairly.
Donna nodded. "Do you love her?"
This wasn't the question Josh had been expecting. Granted he didn't know what he'd been expecting but that definitely wasn't it. "I think I might," he spoke even more quietly than he had before, barely above a whisper. He sounded like a little child admitting he'd done something wrong.
He watched as a small tear fell onto her pillow and he took one of her hands in both of his. Misunderstanding her sadness he spoke again.
"Don't worry, you'll find it one day," he told her.
She pulled her hands from him and looked into his brown eyes, searching for something.
"I thought I had but he doesn't love me," she told him turning away from him, supposedly to go to sleep.
Josh waited ten minutes and no sound came from Donna, her breathing became settled and he figured she was asleep. He stood up and began to leave the room.
"Josh?" Her voice sounded frightened and alone.
"Yeah?" He asked coming back over to her.
"Will you stay with me? Just for tonight? I want someone to hold onto right now, I'll be alright after that."
She sounded so scared and sorrowful, how could he say 'no'? He took off his shoes and climbed onto the bed, lying on top of the covers as he took her hands once more. They looked at each others eyes until slowly Donna fell asleep. He kissed her forehead before giving into his own tiredness.
A/N: I did send emails to my reviewers who provided email adresses because I was getting so many reviews all at once! So for those who reviewed without email addresses, or have reviewed since, here's my responses:
christina0905 Thanks for the review, I'm glad you like it. After 20 minutes or so I found the site through a link on the another one and found exactly what I was looking for, thanks!
Nicole10 I did email you but I forgot to say, the link didn't work but I've found it now anyway but thanks so much for trying!
sekinsey I get bored a LOT, I've just been out for the day today and have only just finished this chapter, but on the coach back I wrote notes for the rest of the chapters so I should update quickly. There'll be 9 chapters in all I think.
miss jasadin Thanks for your review, I'm glad you liked...That's pretty much all of CJ's plan you'll see now, except fora little bit in the next chapter. I wasn't planning on going into much detail with it but then everyone wanted to know so I just had to make something up...Sorry if it's pathetic.
Thanks to everyone who's read, whether you've reviewed or not, I have nearly 1000 hits! All tell me what you think, especially about the song, I want to know if it fits in with the story line.
Rae