Chapter Ten

My head is spinning around so much lately I feel like my life is a merry-go-round. Just when I think I'm getting somewhere, I realize I've come back around to where I was before! And Krad's not helping with his constant fascination in killing me. Did I really see Daisuke just before passing out? I have to find him, he's the one who knows who I am, I just know it! But…I still don't know if I really want to know who I am, after everything I've been through. It may be better to at least know what I got myself into, it's not like I can just move to Madagascar and grow radishes for the rest of my life! Radishes? Where'd that come from! I'm not making any sense at all…I have to get out of this house before Krad comes back.

Barney tried to get up but unexpectedly felt his body burn with the pain Krad caused him. He let out a soft scream of agony and felt something push him back down to the floor. Chest heaving, Barney gasped, "Daisuke…!"

"No, it's me, Krissy. I heard the fighting stop and found you in the street half-alive so I brought you into the living room. Please don't move, I think something may be broken."

"My…my shoulder…"

Barney winced at the searing pain burning in his arm, longing for it to go away with all his miseries. Krissy gently felt his left shoulder and with a swift move, jolted the bone back into its socket with one sickening pop. Barney cried out again, tears of angst rolling down his cheeks as he grit his teeth together. She pulled out a makeshift bag of ice she had put together and placed it on his shoulder, hoping to ease the pain he was in.

"Sorry about that, now lay still and relax."

"Krissy…"

"Sshh, don't talk, just rest."

Barney struggled to open his eyes, staring distantly at her and whispering, "Talk…to me…"

"Talk to you? Why?"

"Distract me…"

"Oh…right. Um…what should I talk about? I'm not really good at this whole…conversation thing."

"Tell me about…your life, family…anything."

Krissy looked down at her lap for a moment before speaking.

"Well…I live with my sister and my mom…I work to keep us alive basically since dad left."

"Becky said…your dad was just away."

"She's a child, she doesn't know anything. He…he was being mean so…mom told him to leave."

"Mean?"

"My father drinks a lot and…"

She looked back down into her lap. Tenderly, Barney said, "I get the picture."

"My mom just lays in bed all the time now. She doesn't work and she gets weaker every day she just lays there, pretty soon she'll get sick and won't be able to survive it, then I'll be stuck taking care of Becky!"

"Did your father…hurt you?"

Krissy's eyes snapped up and stared hard at him, flashing violently as she said, "That's none of your business!"

"Okay, don't get so riled up, I was just concerned!"

"Well…stop it."

She looked away and Barney sighed, readjusting the ice bag on his shoulder with a grunt. Closing his eyes, he said quietly, "A man who harms a woman is hardly a man at all."

"Why are you so nosy!"

"Because, it would greatly explain why you kept running away from me."

Krissy's eyes widened as she blushed, realizing she gave herself away with her actions earlier. With a snort, she said, "Yeah, so? What makes you think that has anything to do with it? Maybe I just found you utterly obnoxious and revolting!"

Barney cocked an eyebrow at her and she sighed, saying, "Okay, so you're charming and alluring, but that's off subject."

"Of course, we were talking about you."

"No, you wanted me to talk about something and it ended up being about me!"

"Would you please stop being defensive? I never forced you to tell me anything, I merely asked. I'm not going to hurt you, I never even considered it."

"Yeah well…you don't have to think about it in order to actually do it."

"Krissy…"

They sat in silence for a few minutes until Krissy looked over at Barney and said softly, "You're…lucky."

"How so?"

"You don't have to worry about people or life, you don't have to remember who you are or your past and responsibilities. You can just walk away and start over without any regrets or scars…"

"Yes, I could…but humans are creatures of habit, I'd want to eventually return to my old life and know who I was, there's no getting away from it. Eventually, my mind would remember who I was and I'd go back to what I used to be…besides, I don't want to live without a name, especially my real name…I want to know."

"But…what if you have a horrible life?"

"You can't run away from your problems, eventually they'll catch up with you and dislocate your shoulder…"

Barney moaned and closed his eyes as his pain returned as a reminder.

"I really don't get that guy, he's so annoying and what's his beef with you! It's like you did something terrible to him and now he's trying to get back at you."

"Why do you think I want to know who I am?"

Barney let out a snarky laugh and sat up, hunching over as his body disagreed with the movement. Krissy grabbed him and scolded, "You shouldn't move, your body's pretty beaten up from everything that's happened to you. You still have that wound on your side too so-"

"Look, if you're going to push me away, don't try to be all protective at the same time! Make up your mind, do you want to be near me or no?"

She stared at him in surprise and stuttered, looking down as she said, "I…well…"

With a softer attitude, Barney touched her arm and said, "Don't be afraid of letting yourself get close to someone, just because of something that happened to you in the past."

"You don't-"

Krissy tried to shoot a sly comment back but he put his finger to her lips, saying, "And a sharp tongue gains you nothing but enemies. Hiding behind cruel words won't save you, they will break you in the end when you're standing against a wall with no one to help you out of a bind."

She gazed into his stern eyes and felt her wall crumbling inside her, making her feel weak and vulnerable to an attack. An attempt to run away failed as Barney grabbed her and pulled her into his arms, hugging her tight even as she tried to get free.

"Stop it, let go!"

She cried as she punched him and writhed around, her legs draped on the floor by the chair that she had been sitting in. Slowly, she began to stop her fighting and began crying harder, burying her face in Barney's chest and clutching at his sleeve. He bowed his head to rest against her, whispering words of comfort and softening his grip so as not to crush her.

"It's alright to give in to your fears now and then…to let out your emotions…"

"I never did anything wrong, I never earned the right to be punished! I was good!"

"Yes…let it out…"

She confessed her feelings with words and tears for quite a while, being cradled by Barney through it all. When she finally finished, she looked up at Barney and said, "Barney…I…I have to tell you something."

"You just told me a lot of things, what else could you have to say?"

"It's…it's about you…I…"

She whispered the last of her statement and Barney's eyes widened like never before, his heart racing faster than any car could go as the words sounded in his mind and awakened his soul from deep inside.

Welcome back…old friend…