A/N: I got 17 reviews, and I figured that was close enough to 18. I'm tired of waiting, I want to post a new chapter.Besides, the site messed up again. It said I only had 16 reviews, but I counted 17. I don't know what todo with that. So, here is the really sad chapter as promised. We are down to the wire guys. There are onlyfour more chapters left, including this one. And one is an epilogue. It's going to be sad to be without this story, but I'll have my other stories to keep me going. Alright, let me go make you guys cry before I start to cry myself...
Seth Cohen's girlfriend - Sorry, but turn on the waterworks. This is a sad chapter, especially if you're as emotional as you say you are.
Journeylover062- I tried to write Jason's reaction as best as I could. I want to keep him true to as he is on the show.
britchic- I'm slowly getting better too! This will be a sad chapter, but I think you'll like it as well.
journeyghlover- Take a deep breath before you pop a vein. You scared me with all that "no"ing. Here's your update, so breathe. Be calm!
Crazyjay- Oh my goodness. Canada is just as cool. That's also the only place I've ever been that is not in America. It's ok, I'm a sap too. But we all need a good cry sometimes.
Eaglesgirl- Demanding people get farther in life! To answer your question, I'm going to say several. It's a tear jerker.
emmalee05- I'm an angst sucker too. That's why I write so much of it. Fluff is cute, but it gets boring. I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter so much.
preppypunk1991- He is adorable when he's longing for Courtney! I'm glad I got new readers, and I'm glad you like my story. Keep reading and reviewing!
luvthemorgans- Oh my goshness. I'm not going to lie, I was a little overwhelmed by all of your loves. But it felt good too to know that you think my story's that great! I know it will be sad when its all over, but we have the other story, and I know that it was boring at first, but I needed to set it up. I promise it'll be chock full of that angst we all know and love.
SuzieQ8487- I'm not trying to kill you. If I kill you, I'm short one review. Alright, maybe I'm trying to kill you a little bit. But just a little. Lol. I'm glad you liked the chapter. I can't tell you if you guessed right just yet, but hold on to your pants, we find out soon enough. I really do try with the little things, and I'm so happy that you love them! Keep reviewing, you've been great.
sexyt- I sent you the email, I hope you got it. The email adress was cut off in the review so I looked for it on your profile. I hope it was the right one. Also, thanks for your review for the other chapter. I figured Courtney would forgive Carly because she's desperate for a friend. Besides, Carly's Carly. She can pull something like that off.
middiegurl08- I'm glad you can't wait to cry! Who knows, maybe someone will have a change of heart. But then again, maybe they wont...
jordananne - Read on to find out why you're going to be sad. Thanks for the review. Both of them. But the one to the random chapter doesn't count towards the 18...sorry!
Cait- Thanks for the review. You should always review. It makes people happy. I'm glad you like the other story. Go review it. I'm just kidding. But seriously, it would be totally great if you reviewed too!
SVUAngel- Being as I've never seen CSI but I've heard it's good, I'll totally take that as a compliment. Everyone's been unsure of whether or not Jason's getting out and I take that as a compliment too. Keeping your readers guessing is always good.
tydavislover - Here it comes, the big baby reveal. Thanks so much for reviewing!
JulesMorgan - Excitement is always good! Keep reading and reviewing!
Chapter 18- Death Row Visit
Jason didn't know why he was being led down this hallway. He had never been here before. Was he being put in solitary because of his fight? He hadn't even gotten a chance to hit the guy. He was the only one receiving any fists. Jason was led into a white cage with a glass window on one side. There was a phone. Was he in the visitor's area? His hands were uncuffed from behind him, and recuffed in front of him. The cage was locked as the police officers filed out, and he was gruffly instructed to sit. This was impossible. Jason wasn't supposed to receive visitors. He was completely confused. Looking as far right as he could, he saw a door open and there was a buzz. Then, she walked in.
Courtney was afraid of the prison from the second she saw the barbed wire gates. She was led down hallway after hallway, she was frisked twice, and she had been finally given a visitors pass. She was instructed to go through a white door, and she did, leading her to another all white room. A voice came over the PA system instructing her to go to cubicle 6. Walking down, Courtney made it to cubicle 6. And there was her Jason. She let out a little gasp when she saw him. Quickly sitting down, she reached for the phone and he did the same, still in a little shock that she was there. God was she beautiful.
"What are you doing here?" he asked her.
"What the hell happened to you?" she countered.
"I got into a tiny little fight" he said. "It's no big deal"
"Did you get in trouble?"
"Nah, the other guy was the one attacking me"
"Did he get in trouble" she asked.
Jason just shrugged. "I don't know. I don't really want to talk about this. Courtney, I haven't seen you in a while. I haven't gotten a chance to touch you, and I miss you. How are you even coping with all of this? Are you ok?" he asked her.
"I don't know Jason. I still can't believe that I am talking to my husband who is on death row. It doesn't seem possible. You didn't do this. How can they execute an innocent man?" she questioned.
"I don't know" he answered her somberly, trying to catch her eye with his as she looked down. "Look at me Courtney" he said, trying not to cry. "Please look at me. Don't make me feel any more like an animal. Please at least look me in the eye. Please, I need you" he said in his moment of weakness, and he could no longer stop the tear that fell down his cheek.
She couldn't help but cry either. She wanted desperately to reach over to him and wipe his tears away. But she couldn't. They were separated by glass.
"Jason, we don't have much time and there is something that I need to tell you. Something extremely important" she said.
"Courtney, what is it?"
"Jason, I don't know how to say this" she said, the tears still flowing down both of their cheeks.
"Are you leaving me?" he asked. "Because I wouldn't blame you. No one will" he said, sadness boiling up inside of him. He was going to die alone.
"Jason, no, of course I'm not leaving you. I love you, and I will always love you. I know I vowed to love you and be your wife until our dying days, but Jason I will love you and be your wife forever. Long after we're dead. Long after we're both in heaven together"
"You so sure I'm going to heaven?" he asked her.
"Yes, I am" she said determinedly, and her tears ceased for a moment before starting again. "Jason, that's not what I came to say. I just need to get it out"
"You can tell me Courtney. You can tell me anything" he assured her.
"Jason, I'm pregnant" she said.
His mouth dropped open. He thought he heard her wrong, but sure enough, she said pregnant.
"How is that possible?" he asked her.
"It's some kind of miracle Jason. But I am carrying your little boy or girl" she said, trying to smile through her tears as she pulled out the sonogram picture and held it to the glass so he could see.
Jason was definitely crying by this point. All he could see was his baby. His baby with the most beautiful woman alive.
"Courtney, I'm going to be a father" he croaked out.
"I know, you are. You're going to be my baby's father" she said.
"Maybe by blood" he said, wiping away the tears and turning cold and hard. "But I won't be around for this baby. I'm doing exactly what Mike did to you. I'm leaving behind my baby" he said.
"Jason, I was afraid you were going to react this way" she said, wishing that she could touch him to comfort him. "But you are not leaving this baby by any choice of your own. You are being ripped away from him or her. And this baby will always love you, and will always know you. I promise you. No matter what" she said, her voice cracking and becoming higher pitched as her tears got heavier.
Jason's tears started again and he just stared for a moment at the beautiful woman sitting before him and at the picture of the son or daughter he would never know. The son or daughter whose voice he would never hear, whose first steps he would never see, whose smile he would never witness. This baby who he was abandoning before they even entered the world. This baby that needed a father. It hurt, but Jason knew what he had to do.
"Find someone you love Courtney" said Jason, his tears falling so freely that his cheeks looked to be soaking wet.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"Find someone new; move on after I'm gone. Find someone that will love our baby like his own. Someone who will love and protect you. Someone who can take care of the two of you" said Jason, trying not to completely lose it. His heart was shattering to a million pieces inside, and he couldn't take the pain. It just hurt too much.
"No Jason, please don't say that" she begged.
"Courtney, it's for the best. I don't want to die knowing that you will be alone for the rest of your life. I don't want to die knowing that you will forever be lingering on me. I need to know that you'll be happy and taken care of"
"Jason, please don't say that" she repeated as the two cried enough tears to fill a lake. "Jason, I will always be lingering on you. I will always be connected to you, both by this baby and my own heart. No one can ever take your place. No one. And please, please don't make me try to find someone. Don't make me pretend to be happy or content even. Please don't force me to desecrate your memory like that" she begged him as sobs racked her body.
"It's not desecrating my memory. I'm asking you to do this. I just want my baby to have a father. Someone to take care of him or her. A memory's nice and all, but it wont take care of my baby. Of our baby. I will always be his or her father, and I will always be your husband, but I need someone to take that place. I need someone to take care of my wife and child. Someone to fulfill your needs"
"My needs are you and only you. Please don't do this" she said.
"Promise me Courtney, just promise me" he begged, although the thought of her being with someone else, or his child calling someone else daddy made him sick. It was as though someone had put a knife in his gut, and now they were twisting it.
"No Jason, I can't do it. I won't" she cried, sobbing even harder.
He let one sob escape as he begged her again, but her answer was the same.
"Please promise me. I need to know that you'll be safe. Please, do it for me. Do it for us and our baby" he said, looking into her eyes, bearing into her soul.
"Alright, I promise" she said as she broke down. "But you will always be this baby's father, and you will always be my soul mate" she said, the tears running down her face so quickly now, the hiccups so close together, the pain so unbearable, that she felt like she couldn't breathe.
"Shh" he soothed. "You need to stay calm for our baby's sake" he said, coming to his senses and wiping away all of his tears. "You need to keep our baby safe" he said.
"I love when you refer to our baby" she said, trying to stop hiccupping and sobbing. Trying to wipe away all of her tears.
"Me too" he whispered.
"Time's up" came the voice over the PA.
"No, please, just a few more minutes" begged Courtney as a guard walked into the cage that Jason sat in.
The phone was ripped from his hands and they were once again bound behind his back. He was led away in the rough arms of the guards and as he was, he mouthed to her that he loved her and the baby. She mouthed it back, putting one hand on her stomach to show him that she would protect their baby.
Once he was out of sight, Courtney let it all out. She sat there at the table, sobbing into her hands. She couldn't stop crying. A kindly guard came over to her. He had seen this many a time before. Woman crying as their husband's sat on death row, waiting for their turn to die. It was a brutal concept. Knowing that soon, someone would come and lead you to a small room, where you would be strapped down and murdered. It was harsh and cruel, but he knew he couldn't let it get to him. He had seen this too many times to let it faze him, but it still did.
The man bent down so that he was looking at the blonde and offered her a toothsome grin.
"It'll be ok lovey" he said, trying to sooth the woman, but it only made her cry harder.
Looking around, the man saw the sonogram picture.
"Is this your baby?" he asked. "Did you bring it to show your husband?"
She just snatched it from his hand without saying anything. She knew that she shouldn't be so harsh to him. It wasn't his fault Jason was here, and it certainly wasn't his choice.
"I'm sorry" she said.
"Now, now, you have nothing to apologize for" he said. "These are difficult times for everyone I'm sure. And to be pregnant on top of it. Miss, I'm sure your husband was a good man. A man who probably just had a moral breakdown. God will forgive him. He'll be in heaven, he'll be taken care of" soothed the man.
"How do you do this?" she asked. "How do you look at the face of each man inside of this place and just accept the fact that they will all eventually be executed"
"It's my job. And it's a terrible one. It gives me nightmares, without a doubt. But we need to accept these things. We need to believe that in the end, everything happens for a reason"
"Do they treat them ok in there?" she asked.
"As best as they can. It's no five star hotel, but it does the trick. It prepares them for it. It prepares them for dying"
"This must be what animals feel like. Corralled and controlless. At the mercy of whoever holds the whip, whoever holds the key to the meat packing plant" scoffed Courtney.
"Sounds to me like this little lady just became a vegetarian" said the guard with a smile, hoping that a joke would calm the woman down a bit.
She looked at him strangely for a second. "Vegetarian?" she questioned, her voice hardly above a whisper.
"Yes, you know. A person who doesn't eat meat" he said.
"Oh my god!" she gasped, one hand covering her mouth. "I have to go, thank you!" she called back to the confused guard, running out of the room as fast as she could.
"Oh my god" she repeated as she got in her car and sped off as fast as she could. It all made sense. It was all fitting into place. Carmen Pareña wasn't dead. And Courtney knew exactly where she was.
A/N: I know a lot of you are going 'huh?' but review to find out exactly what Courtney did and how she put two and two together. I want 18 again! I think you can do it this time. And if I get 20, I'll give you all a special treat!