Ze Disclaimer- La la la la... Don't own anything... la la la la...

Ze Authoress's Note-Sorry about the lack of updating! I've been kicking myself because I haven't been working on the book I plan on trying to get published, so I took a break from fanfiction and worked on that story. E.D.J.

(1) I know that Mrs. Norris from Harry's years at Hogwarts wouldn't have been around in the seventies (I'm not an idiot; I know cats don't live as long as people), so I've decided Filch has always had an awful cat named Mrs. Norris, but there have been three or so cats throughout Filch's career as Hogwarts caretaker.

Ze Reviewer thank you's!

majohime-Yay! New reviewer! Glad you love the story!

ShadowFire2-One of my loyal reviewers! Tear! I'm glad you don't mind me being mean to Sirius and Snape will be very cute. Most embarassing for a slimy Slytherin.

Professor Drusilla W.L. Silvers-Yay! I do well in the art of pessimism and I'm going on your favourite's list! I consider myself somewhat of a pessimist so that's probably why you think I did so well. And yes I also love James's line of: "Bet you a Galleon she tells him to buzz off." Lovely.

Ch. 12- Professor Wolcosh Tells All

On Monday, all four boys woke up early, eager for the thrill of pulling an excellent prank.

"Do we really have to wait until Potions to put the charms on Snivellus?" whined Sirius, slumping his shoulders as he put on his shoes.

"No ..." said Remus thoughtfully. a glint in his eyes. "We could do them at breakfast!"

"Perfect!" agreed James. "Then the whole school will see him!"

"We still have to test the ringlets hair charm!" piped up Peter. "Unless one of us wants to have his hair in ringlets for the next two weeks."

The boys quickly finished getting dressed and rushed out of Gryffindor Tower, eager to find someone to test the ringlet charm on.

When they got to the fourth floor, James quickly herded his friends back into an empty classroom.

"Test subject found!" he hissed. "Mrs. Norris is around the corner!" (1)

"Excellent!" squeaked Peter. "I hate that cat!"

"Who doesn't?" muttered Remus, giving an involuntary twitch, as if he'd like nothing better than to hunt and roast the cat himself. "She's practically Satan, if he was partial to looking cute, fluffy, and seemingly innocent."

"Stop chatting! I'm going to do the charm!" Sirius murmured, inching his way out the door.

"She better not see you!" James hissed. "She'll find Filch, and I swear on the Sorting Hat they have some kind of psychic connection. Mrs. Norris will be able to tell him exactly who charmed her!"

"Please. Do you think I'd be so foolish as to let that cat know I'd jinxed her?" Sirius scoffed.

"Well, last week when you jinxed that fifth-year Slytherin ... what was her name? Ah, Nicola Landon! After you jinxed Nicola Landon, you spent about five minutes dancing on top of the House table screeching, 'I jinxed Nicola!' and believe me she heard you. Didn't you wonder where all those boils came from?" asked Remus, a small smirk forming on his face.

"Well I'll be more careful this time, Remus 'I remember every little thing' Lupin!" huffed Sirius. "Now shut your mouth!"

Sirius inched himself around the corner and saw the evil cat prowling the empty corridor, her lamp-like eyes fixed on Peeves, the school poltergeist, who was banging around inside a suit of armor farther down the corridor. He pulled out his wand, muttered the incantation, and white light shot at Mrs. Norris. In the blink of an eye, Mrs. Norris's scraggly gray fur was in perfect ringlets. The cat yowled and hissed loudly and then streaked down the corridor toward Sirius's hiding spot.

Sirius began inching backwards, desperate not to be seen, before Remus's arm snaked out and pulled him inside the classroom just as Mrs. Norris rounded the corner.

"Good work!" said James, peering through a crack in the door. "I think she looks much more ... springy!"

The four boys laughed and stepped outside cautiously when James gave the 'all clear'.

"Thank you for your flattering compliments, Jamesie!" said Sirius smugly, eyeing himself in a tall mirror on the corridor wall. He leaned forward until his forehead touched the mirror. "You handsome devil you!Hey what the--" he shouted, falling forward.

The mirror had disappeared, leaving only the tall gilt frame and revealing a large earthy passageway. Sirius rolled down inside shouting loud curses as he came to a stop.

"Look at that!" said Remus, peering inside. "A secret passageway!"

"My dad told me there's loads here," said James, stepping inside and peering around. "He said only a few students were lucky enough to find any of them while he was at Hogwarts."

"I wonder where this goes ..." said Sirius, jumping up and brushing dirt off his robes.

"Let's follow it!" said James eagerly, starting down the passageway.

"We have Snape's prank though!" said Remus, holding back. "Let's explore it during break."

"Fine," said James sadly. "To the Great Hall!"

The boys hurried down four flights of stairs to the Great Hall. They went in and strode purposefully past the Slytherin table. As they passed Snape's back, James, Sirius, and Remus held their wands low and muttered their charms' incantations. Then they made their way to the Gryffindor table and sat down, ready to look innocent.

In a moment, there was a loud howl from the Slytherin table, and everyone in the Great Hall whirled around. Severus Snape was shrieking loudly as he pulled at his pink robes and long blonde ringlets.

"Wow you look so pretty, Snivellus!" shouted Sirius over the din and laughter. "Just like a little girl!"

"You did this!" snarled Snape, his face contorted in fury as he pulled out his wand. "I will personally see that you never--"

"MR. SNAPE!" called a loud voice, and Professor Wolcosh strode over to Snape, a look of thunderous disapproval on her face . "Magic is not allowed outside the classroom!"

"Black did this to me!" thundered Snape, pointing at his hair and robes and then at Sirius.

"Minerva!" screeched Professor Wolcosh, her face darkening to a bright shade of magenta. "You're assistance is needed!"

Professor McGonagall appeared near the Gryffindor table, a slight smile on her face, as she asked, "Yes, Azalea?"

"It seems a member of your House, Mr. Black, has taken the liberty to ridicule young Mr. Snape," said Professor Wolcosh coolly, nodding at Snape, who was at the moment, trying to keep his house-mates at bay as they kept tugging at his blonde ringlets.

"Does Mr. Snape have any proof of this?" said Professor McGonagall, her voice light and unconcerned.

"Erm ... no," admitted Snape, smacking Rodolphus Lestrange's hand as the boy reached for his curls again.

"Well, then I will have to say that Black is innocent until proven guilty," said Professor McGonagall before walking back to the staff table, leaving Professor Wolcosh and Snape gaping and looking very angry.

"Well, I suppose I cannot punish you, Black," said Professor Wolcosh through gritted teeth, dislike showing on her face. She looked as if she'd rather pull out her own hair then let Sirius Black get away with anything, but she whirled around angrily without another word and smacked her shins against the Hufflepuff table. She gave a loud howl and cursed spectacularly before limping out of the Great Hall with a last disdainful look at the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables.

"You're just going to leave me like this?" howled Snape, but Professor Wolcosh was already gone.

"We know it's early but ... Happy Christmas, Snivellus!" chorused the four Marauders, raising glasses of pumpkin juice to Snape in a mock toast. They downed their pumpkin juice, ignoring the purely spiteful look on Snape's face.

"Brilliant prank, mates!" said James as the four boys headed to their Potions lesson. "Snivellus looked as if he was ready to curse us to Siberia and back!"

They walked much more slowly than usual because they knew what kind of mood Professor Wolcosh would be in, and they were sure Snape wouldn't be happy to see them either.

"He'll probably be able to get someone to take the Color-Change Charm off his robes, but he'll have those curls for two weeks!" said Sirius gleefully, punching the air triumphantly as they walked gingerly down the grimy steps to their dungeon classroom.

They opened the door and were happy to find that Snape had not found time to change his robes before lessons, though he had acquired a large pointed hat, which hardly hid the fact that his hair was no longer black.

"Maybe we should clean his hair too," remarked James, remembering the incantation for making your hair squeaky clean.

"Be our guest," said Remus, biting back a smile.

James muttered the incantation, and a large watery cloud appeared around Snape's head. Squirting, scrubbing, and wind-like sounds gave from within the cloud. The noise (except for Snape's screaming) eventually stopped, and the watery cloud disappeared, leaving Snape with squeaky clean blonde ringlets.

"Now he's a squeaky clean little girl!" shouted Sirius, sounding like nothing could amuse him more.

Snape's fellow Slytherins all gaped in wonder and began reaching again for Snape's ringlets to feel if his hair was actually clean.

"Stop it, you idiots!" said Snape, pulling out his wand and glaring menacingly at them all. "Haven't you ever seen a bloke with clean hair before?"

"Well, you never have clean hair!" protested Edgar Goyle before he became distracted by something shiny on the table he and Victor Crabbe shared.

"Professor Wolcosh!" said Snape, running over to the teacher as she entered the classroom. "Black, used a spell to wash my hair!"

"Well it is an improvement from those greasy locks you usually have," stated Professor Wolcosh. "However, Mr. Black, ten points from Gryffindor for unauthorized washing of another student's hair."

"You just made that rule up!" Sirius protested.

"Another ten points from Gryffindor for questioning a teacher's authority!" spat Professor Wolcosh. "Would you like to test me further, Mr. Black?"

"No, Professor," Sirius said sullenly, staring into the depths of his cauldron.

"Today we will be learning about Truthfulness Potions such as Veritaserum," said Professor Wolcosh, and she began to start in on what was soon to be known as a long and very boring lecture.

Sirius felt something hit his shoulder, and he carefully reached down for the scrap of parchment at his feet.

Later it read:

Don't worry, S. Only a few more days and we'll be free of the old bat for three weeks! J

She's not that old. She's quite pretty in a bite-your-head-off kind of way. S

Are you telling us you fancy our evil Potions professor? R

No! Bloody hell no! I was just trying to tell J that she's not old though she is an evil bat! S

Won't we get in trouble for passing notes? P

Shut it! J, S, R

Are we Marauders or goody-goody rule enforcers? J

Marauders. P

Remember that! S

I will. P

You'd better. J and S

How long until we can explore that secret passageway? S

Twenty-three minutes. R

How 'bout now? S

Twenty-two minutes. R

How long... arrgh! Ouch! Bloody hell, J! S

It slipped. J

How can your wand 'slip' and jam itself up someone's nose? R

One can only wonder ... J

R, how in the name of Merlin do Truthfulness Potions relate to ... er ... what class are we in? S

Potions! J, R, P

Oh, right. I suppose that's why we're learning about them, eh? Damn, this is boring to listen to. S

Do you think Snivellus would mind if I levitated his cauldron to dump his potion on Professor W.? J

Yes, but we don't mind. S, R, P

Ooh look at Snape's face! R

He's in for it. She doesn't seem to appreciate the benefits of wearing pink slime. P

"Mr. Snape!" shrieked Professor Wolcosh, pink potion dripping into her eyes. "You have a lot of explaining to do!"

"But--but I didn't do it!" protested Snape, ringlets flying as he vigorously shook his head.

"Well, why would someone else feel the need to dump your potion on me?" She glared angrily at the class, who smiled sympathetically and shrugged innocently while really, inside their heads, they were laughing their heads off.

"Thirty points from Slytherin, Snape! And detention!"

"But, Professor ..."

Just then, a large drop of potion dripped down her face and into Professor Wolcosh's screaming mouth. A dreamy look appeared on her face, and Rodolphus Lestrange asked tentatively, "Are you alright, Professor?"

"Oh, I'm just fine!" sang Professor Wolcosh, a wide smile on her face.

"The truthfulness potion!" hissed Remus. "She has to tell the truth until it wears off!"

"Oh this will be fun," said Sirius, sidling over to the professor. "Why do you hate me, Professor?" he asked innocently.

"You're a nasty toerag of a Gryffindor, a failure to your family, and a disgrace to all purebloods!" the teacher replied.

"Well, that's a bit of an obvious answer taken she's the Head of Slytherin," muttered James. "Professor? What did you really think of our pranks on Snape?"

"Oh I thought the one this morning was quite funny. Until I found out that you were the ones who did it. Severus Snape really is a little annoying slimeball."

Snape's jaw dropped as he heard the Head of his House insulting him. "I am not annoying!" he spat. "Why am I annoying?"

"You always complain to me when other people humiliate you! Why not just leave me alone and humiliate them right back?"

"Oh." Snape sat back down, looking defeated.

"Were you really in Slytherin?" asked James, squinting suspiciously at her.

"No, I was in Hufflepuff," said Professor Wolcosh, a look of extreme distaste on her face. "I pleaded with the Sorting Hat to put me in Slytherin, but it thought I lacked the cunning. So I was put in Hufflepuff, and my family considered me a complete disgrace! Even my own brother wouldn't speak to me during school! The Wolcoshs were always in Slytherin! Until me." Professor Wolcosh sobbed into her robes and said in a hard voice: "I hated the idiotic Mudbloods I was forced to a share a House with. I was glad that the noble House of Slytherin didn't let in scum like that!"

She drew a shaky breath and glared at a few Gryffindor students who happened to be Muggle-born, all of whom looked very offended.

"I knew I belonged in Slytherin, so I distanced myself from my housemates and made rude comments about my House and all others that weren't Slytherin. I never had any House pride because I didn't want to be associated with the 'loyal, hardworking' Hufflepuff scum. Most people assumed, after meeting me, that I was in Slytherin, and I didn't correct them. Better to just be thought of as a Slytherin than to have anyone to find out the horrible truth."

"Wow she's cracked," whispered Remus just as Professor Wolcosh's face lost its dreamy vacant look.

"What are you all staring at?" she shrieked, her face red and blotchy. "Twenty points from Gryffindor for leaving your potions unattended. As for you, Mr. Snape, you will receive detention along with five points taken from Slytherin. Ugh! I must get this stuff off me! Scourgify!" She waved her wand and the Truthfulness Potion disappeared from her robes.

The class proceeded in its normal way for the rest of the hour, but the Gryffindor students were in a much brighter mood while the Slytherins all looked like they'd been petrified.

Professor Wolcosh never figured out how, but by the end of the week the whole school knew her whole miserable Hogwarts experience. We have our favorite Marauders to thank.

Wow! Pranks on both Snape and evil Professor Wolcosh? I should be hearing loud cheers in my reviews! E.D.J.