Disclaimer-I don't own it and never will! Don't remind me.

Authoress' Note-Yay reviews! Happy Christmas four months early! I really like this chapter because I get to make Sirius act like a geek more! It's very entertaining. I know I didn't meet the review number I wanted to, but it's not that far away from 40 reviews! E.D.J.

Thanks to all my lovely reviewers who give me lovely reviews!

blinkgurl017-No I reserve all rights to torment Peter! No actually torment him all you want. You SHOULD be honoured to be my favorite reviewer because I am very honor worthy. That doesn't make much sense but oh well. Anyway you'll get a bit more Sirius stupidity in here! Actually it's more geeky weird Sirius, but it's all good!

Sarahlouhardy-I like my comments too! It's fun to go back and read the weird stuff I added in! I guess I do it because I really really want to be in the world of Harry Potter, but sadly can't due to it being fictional. ( Audience GASP!)

Professor D. S. Silvers- Can you just add the title you thought up to your next review?

La Conquistadora- Yes we must pity Remus until his fellow Marauders find out the truth. And boys never learn.

Ryder-Glad you like the story and the idea for my book! Yes I like popping into the story ever once and awhile to harass the characters, but I'm not going to do it that often because it would become too much like my Crazy Chats with the Harry Potter Characters fic and I want this story to have plot and to be realistic! If you want to read craziness, randomness, and me making the Harry Potter hate me read Crazy Chats.

ShadowFire2-Yeah I like making the characters call each other cutesy nicknames!

acatm-Yay I'm entertaining!

Ch. 14- Happy Christmas From the Marauders

A week and a half later, it was Christmas Eve, and the four Marauders sat muttering in front of the fire in the empty Gryffindor common room.

"Bloody good luck they stayed for the holidays. 'Course we could have always pranked them when term starts up again, but I think during the holidays it's--" began Sirius.

"Shut it, Sirius! Someone might hear!" James hissed, throwing a quill at his friend.

"Oh right, James. Sorry."

"Can we summon their shampoo bottles yet?" Remus asked irritably, running a hand through his hair tiredly.

"Oh cranky, are we, Remmy?" asked Sirius.

"It's one o'clock in the morning, Sirius! I'm surprised you're not bombarding us with your complaints of how tired or bored or hungry you are!" Remus retorted.

"But I'm not ... Wait! Remus I am hungry!"

"Oh, Remus, now look what you did! You had to mention his stomach, so now he'll whine to us until he's able to stuff his face!" Peter moaned, and he buried his head in the sofa cushions.

"Yeesh. Peter's cranky too," Sirius observed.

"I would prefer the term 'Siriusly aggravated' if you don't mind," said Peter's muffled voice.

"Hey, is that a pun on my name?"

"Well spotted, Sirius," Peter responded acidly.

"Yeesh. Peter's worse than Remus! I think I'll just stay over here by Jamesie!" Sirius began to scoot farther down the sofa.

"Don't come near me, Black!" James snapped, shoving Sirius away.

"Everybody hates me!" groaned Sirius, his voice a high-pitched whine by this point.

"Can we get this over with so we can go to bed?" yawned Remus.

"Oh right ... Accio first year Gryffindor girls' shampoo bottles!"

After James muttered the spell, five bottles of shampoo floated down the girls' dormitory staircase and onto the table next to the four Marauders.

"Do you have the Zonko's stuff?" James muttered hurriedly.

Remus nodded and pulled out a large silver bottle labeled Merlin's Marvelous, Most Colourful Hair! Lasts for 24 hours of colourful fun! Warning: Do not ingest. Will result in internal discomfort and major organ discolouration. Merlin Pranks Inc. is not liable for any burning, itching, irreversible hair colouring, or total hair loss.

"So, we just have to make sure the girls are dumb enough to drink their shampoo?" snickered Sirius as he scrutinized the shampoo bottle.

"And it's a possibility they could go bald," added Peter.

Sirius shrugged. "Not important."

The boys carried the girls' shampoo bottles up to their own bathroom and proceeded to dump their entire contents down the drain. Remus uncapped their own special bottle of shampoo and poured equal amounts of rainbow-coloured liquid into the five bottles and shook them up thoroughly. Sirius muttered a handy charm over them, so a message from the Marauders would appear in the air every time the shampoo was used. James quickly used a Banishing Charm to send the shampoo back to the girls' bathroom, and the Marauders stumbled tiredly to bed.

"Lily! Wake up! It's Christmas!" shouted Bella, whacking Lily across the head with her pillow.

"What?" muttered Lily, rubbing at her eyes.

"IT-IS-CHRISTMAS!" Bella stated slowly, as if she was talking to a four-year-old.

"Oh right!" Lily scrambled to the end of her bed and began eyeing the nice-sized pile of gifts placed there.

"Blimey, forgetting Christmas! Where's your head these days, Lils?" asked Emmeline, yawning from her position at the foot of her own bed.

"It's focused on all that homework McGonagall gave us," muttered Lily. "And everything Flitwick gave us, and Wolcosh, and Binns, and--"

"Okay, okay we get the point. We don't need a full-blown rant, Lils," Emmeline said, cutting Lily off before she got into a full-blown rant.

"Where's Deidra and Faye?" asked Lily curiously.

Deidra Lennox and Faye Edstrom were the girls' other roommates. Deidra was small, blonde, and reminded Lily very much of her sister Petunia at times, much to her dismay. Faye was raven-haired, tall, and a pureblood of very old money whose nose always turned up at the sight of Lily in her Muggle clothing.

"Asleep!" hissed Emmeline, motioning for Lily to speak softly. "Be quiet! You know those two hate us! What's the use of waking them up so they can pester us to death?"

"Good thinking."

"Can we get to those presents now?" asked Bella, tapping her foot impatiently.

"Common room!" breathed Lily, scooping her own gifts into her arms.

The girls carried their small piles of gifts down to the empty common room and proceeded to open them and exclaim over them to each other:

"Sugar Quills! My favorite! Thanks, Em!"

"Lily, this is so pretty!"

"Mum expects me to wear this?" Bella held up a bright pink and green jumper covered in flashing gold stars and grimaced.

"It's really ... it's ... so ..." stammered Emmeline, trying to find the right words.

"Hideous is what it is," Bella sighed and she flung the jumper on the floor on top of her ever growing pile of gift wrap.

"If you say so."

"And you're mum made that for you?" Lily asked, bewildered.

"Oh, no. It's from my great-aunt Eulalia. All she does is knit things. Not well I'm afraid." Bella shook her head at the poor excuse for a eleven-year-old girl's jumper and grimaced again.

"What are you going to do with it?"

"Hmmm ... maybe I can use some Shrinking Solution on it and tell Mum the house elves shrunk it in the laundry!" Bella said, a small secretive grin appearing on her face."Yes, that just may work..."

"Remmy, Jamesie, Frank! Up up up! Christmas is here! Full of good cheer! And Peter and I, we're siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiingiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!" sang Sirius loudly as he marched around the room with Peter in tow.

Literally in tow because Sirius had somehow put a charm on Peter's hands so that they stuck to the hem of Sirius's robes. Peter was being dragged violently across the floor as Sirius marched back in forth between the beds singing loudly and rather out of key.

"What is that awful noise?" Frank shouted over the din, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"Sirius," said James and Remus simultaneously, covering their heads with their pillows to block out the dreadful noise.

"Where's Peter?" asked Frank loudly over the racket Sirius was making.

"I'm ...OUCH ... down ...OW ... here!" Peter gasped as he was slammed rather violently into the side of Remus's trunk when Sirius walked over to Remus's bed.

"Remmy, come and sing with me!" shouted Sirius, grabbing Remus around the ankles and attempting to drag him from his bed while Remus desperately clung to one of his bedpost in an effort to get Sirius to release him. He wasn't eager to sing with Sirius.

"But Remmy ..." moaned Sirius, pulling harder at Remus's ankles and causing Remus to give a yelp of pain. "Singing is fun! I'll show you!"

Sirius launched into a horrible rendition of Jingle Bells (with much of the words wrong)and began trying to pry Remus's hands from the bedpost.

"Where'd you learn that song?" Peter asked, happy to have stopped being dragged around the floor for a few moments. "Isn't it a Muggle song? You're a pureblood!"

Sirius stopped singing and looked contemplative. "I dunno. I think some Hufflepuff was singing it in the halls." He launched back into singing until James finally threw his pillow across the room, grabbed his wand, and shouted, "Silencio!"

Sirius's voice was immediately gone. He angrily pouted and mouthed curses at James, but nothing happened. Sirius then strode over to pummel James.

"Thank you," sighed Remus, glad that Sirius had finally given up on his attempt to pry him from his bed.

"Can we do presents or what?" asked Frank, staring eagerly at the pile of gifts at the end of his bed.

"Yes!" shouted everyone except Sirius, who merely nodded and stopped throwing his school textbooks at James.

The girls had since finished opening their presents and had gone back up to their dormitory.

"I'm done, Lils!" said Bella, coming out of the bathroom, combing her wet hair as she went.

"Finally!" sighed Lily. "I can't believe I agreed to shower last! The rest of you take forever!"

Bella shrugged and motioned at herself. "It takes a lot to look this good."

"You sound like Black," Lily muttered, dodging a curse from Bella and running into the bathroom.

She turned on the shower and let in warm up before stepping inside. Then she washed her hair thoroughly not noticing the change in her shampoo's colour. Lily heard a shriek inside the girls' bedroom, but she assumed Faye had probably just broken a nail or something and was mourning over the tragedy of said sad event. Then someone started pounding on the bathroom door, so Lily sighed and quickly finished showering. She put on her dressing gown and opened the door.

Emmeline was standing there, and her hair was a bright shade of purple.

"Don't use any of the ..." she began, but she trailed off, gaping at Lily.

"What happened to your hair?" asked Lily, gaping back at her.

"Not just my hair," whispered Emmeline, and she opened the door wider, so Lily could see the scene inside the room.

Faye and Deidra were pacing around the room each screaming, "My hair! My beautiful hair!"

Faye's usually black hair was now a dull shade of gray making her look about fifty years older, and Deidra's hair was aquamarine-coloured. Lily snickered taking in the scene. She glanced around and saw Bella sitting on her bed, her hair a dark green.

"Aren't you going to freak out about your hair?" asked Lily, walking over to Bella and examining a strand of her green hair.

"No. Aren't you going to freak out about your hair?" retorted Bella.

"My--" began Lily, but then she grabbed a strand of her hair and noticed it was magenta. A little squeak escaped her mouth as she tried to force down the full-blown shriek that was ready to erupt out of her. "What happened to us?" Lily asked slowly, her voice dangerous.

"Someone's pranked us," said Bella, twirling a strand of now blue hair.

Lily glanced around and noticed everyone else's hair colour had changed too including hers, which was now lemon yellow.

"Lily? Bella?" Emmeline's voice called from the bathroom. "Get over here now."

Not used to hearing their friend's voice so commanding, the two girls hurried into the bathroom. Emmeline stood by the shower and pointed above the shampoo bottles. There was a message floating there.

It read:

Happy Christmas! Hope it's very colourful!

It was signed:

The Marauders.

"Potter!" shrieked Lily.

Lily, Bella, and Emmeline stomped out of their dormitory, ignoring Faye and Deidra's pleas to Lily. They seemed to think that because Lily had good marks in classes, she'd be able to restore their hair to all its glory.

"But, Lily ..." began Deidra, but Lily slammed the door in her face. She knew the two girls wouldn't follow them, at the risk of someone seeing their new looks, which now consisted of orange and emerald green hair.

The three very angry girls stormed down the stairs, ignoring the strange looks they got from their fellow students, and then pounded up the boys' dormitory staircase.

"Here." Emmeline's voice was icy cold, unlike her usual voice. She pointed at a door that read 'first years'.

Bella flung the door open and shouted, "Black, where are you? I'm going to kill you!"

"I'll just hurry on over then," said Sirius dryly from where he and the other fourboys sat playing Exploding Snap. "I can't wait to die!"

"Where's Potter?" asked Lily hotly, glancing around as she entered the room after Bella.

"Present and accounted for," said James, waving at her. "Pining for me, are we, Evans?"

"Not particularly." Lily pointed furiously at her hair and stood tapping her foot, an unexpressively angry look on her face.

"Yes, your hair is a particularly vivid shade of blue today, Evans. Is that all you came to show us? We don't take kindly to intruders in our dormitory," James responded nonchalantly.

"I'm positively quaking in my boots," said Lily dryly.

"You're not wearing boots, Evans!" shouted Sirius.

"She's not, but I am." Bella strode over and kicked Sirius hard with the very pointed toe of her new dragonskin boots that her parents had sent her a gift.

"Ouch!" Sirius glared at her, but did nothing else. He was trying very hard to obey his rule of never hitting girls, but Meadows was pushing it.

"You did this!" Lily shouted at James, pulling out her wand.

"Do you have any proof?" Remus asked innocently, looking up from the Exploding Snap game.

"Maybe that message that's floating inside our bathroom?" supplied Emmeline.

"You don't like your gift?" James said, sounding a bit hurt, drawing his own wand and pointing it at Lily.

"Of course I do. It's not every day I get to see Faye and Deidra running around shrieking like that," said Lily, her voice sickly sweet. "I just don't like the sender."

"Evans, don't make me hex you," James muttered under his breath.

"You hex me? I highly doubt that," Lily retorted.

James raised his wand, but Lily was much quicker.

James was instantly blasted off his feet. He landed on the floor painfully.

"Care to test me again, Potter?" growled Lily, smirking down at him.

James raised his wand, but Lily shouted, "Expelliarmus!" His wand flew into her open hand. "I think I'll keep this for a little while," she said in a sing-song voice, twirling his wand between her fingers. "But, then again, I don't want anything Marauder-related near me for too long." She tossed the wand onto a bed and turned to go. "Don't even think about it. Black," she muttered, and Sirius lowered his wand and swore silently.
The three girls exited the dormitory without so much as a glance back. Bella did, however, send a well-aimed Jelly-Legs Jinx at Sirius before leaving.

James stood up, wincing, and picked up his wand. He hated to admit it, but that Lily Evans had some skills. Getting revenge seemed to be one of them.

Ah one of many confrontations to come! Reviews are pretty! I like pretty things! (take the hint!) Happy Christmas again and to use Ryan Seacrest's quote "Jobberknoll out!" E.D.J.