Disclaimer- I own a number of interesting things, but nothing so wonderful as Harry Potter.

Authoress' Note- Wow two stories updated in one day! I'm on fire! I must say that I have reached the peak of Harry Potter geekdom! I know am the proud owner of copies of the U.K. versions of GoF and OoP books even though I already own perfectly fine U.S. versions (actually only OoP copy is fine since my GoF somehow has numerous chunks of pages disattached from the books spine. I feel utterly sorry for this book and must admit I have no idea how it happened) of both these books. I confess it amuses me at the thought of finding out what words are changed between the two versions. Please feel free to taunt me or applaud me which ever you prefer! Also a lovely quirkly amusing start of term Dumbledore speech has been added to Chapter 3! Please go back and read it! It has such lines as "Also our caretaker Mr. Filch reminds me for the tenth time that no magic may be used outside the classroom. He also said any rule breakers will be strung up by their toes in the dungeons, but Argus I can't allow you to inflict pain on my students in that way much as you may beg and plead."and"Also a rare, new tree has been planted on our grounds much to the delight of our Herbology teacher Professor Sprout. It is called a Whomping Willow and if any students go near it you will receive a sound beating. Not at the hands of a professor, mind you. No. At the hands of the tree."

Happy reading! E.D.J.

(1) Borrowed from The Emperor's New Groove.

P.S. I would just like to give a wonderfully big thank you to the reviewers who are fans of all three of my fanfics! Professor D.S. Silvers, blinkgurl017, and La Conquistadora! Thank you!

Thanks for the wonderful reviews! This chapter has been dedicated to blinkgurl017 and La Conquistadora my FAITHFUL reviewers who were the only two to review the last chapter!

blinkgurl017- Yeah Peter sucks big time.

La Conquistadora- Yeah yeah I know cliffie's aren't your thing, but they add to the suspense and now I've finally updated so everyone knows what happened after the cliffie! I'm glad you like the whole quirky Ballycastle Bats thing! I find it very amusing myself!

Ch. 16- Cracked Ribs and Midnight Musings

"Oh great. They're at it again," muttered Bella, and she and Sirius walked over to where the rest of the class stood watching Lily and James circle each other, wands out.

"Furnuculus!" shouted Lily

"Impedimenta!" James countered, dodging her jinx, and Lily was thrown backwards by his curse.

"Locomotor Mortis!" he cried, and Lily's legs locked togethe,r causing her to fall over, unable to walk.

Lily landed on her stomach and growled, "Wingardium Leviosa

James floated up in the air, and she threw him against the wall with a decisive jerk of her wand. James crashed to the floor and slumped over, unable to move because of the throbbing pain in his back.

"Mr. Potter! Miss Evans!" barked Professor Dearborn, finally noticing the situation. "Thirty points from Gryffindor! Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin! Take Mr. Potter to the Hospital Wing!"

Sirius and Remus helped James up, and they both glared venomously at Lily while they positively dragged James out of the room.

Professor Dearborn sullenly muttered the countercurse to the Leg-Locker Curse, and Lily stood up, her limbs shaking.

"Miss Evans, you and Mr. Potter will be going to see the Headmaster," said the teacher curtly. "I don't tolerate full-fledged dueling in my classroom."

Lily stood motionless for a moment, clenching and unclenching her fists as she fought back tears. She could see her classmates' blurred faces begin to swirl for a few moments before she fell over in a dead faint.

"Lily? Lily?" whispered a faint voice, and a small nudge came at her shoulder.

Lily winced as her head gave a painful twinge, and she let out a muffled groan.

"I think she's waking up!" murmured another voice tentatively.

Lily finally opened her heavy eyelinds and blinked as two blurred shapes loomed over her. She fought to ask where she was and who was talking, but her tongue felt so thick and heavy that she couldn't speak. Slowly the shapes came into focus as she blinked rapidly to clear her head. It was her two best friends standing over her.

"Lily!" squealed Bella, throwing her arms around her. "How do you feel?"

"Headache," Lily grunted, rubbing her temples. "Where am I?"

"The Hospital Wing," said Emmeline, handing Lily a glass of water, which she sipped gratefully.

"How? Why?" Lily managed to get out. The last thing she remembered was yelling, "Potter don't you dare threaten me!", and then everything was a confusing blurr.

"You and Potter had a little duel," said Bella, frowning slightly. "Don't you remember?"

Lily's head filled with a vision of James Potter being thrown against a wall. She gasped as everything came flooding back to her in a great turrent.

"I hurt him, I really hurt him, didn't I? I'm going to be expelled! Why was I so stupid? Lily pushed back her covers and shakily stood up. "Professor Dearborn says I've got to go see the Headmaster for brutally hurting Potter."

For some odd reason, Emmeline laughed. "Brutally hurting him? Potter's fine! See for yourself." She scooted over, so Lily could see Peter Pettigrew peacefully sleeping in the bed next to her.

"That's not Potter, Em!" Lily shrieked, pulling at her hair.

"Oops," said Emmeline, blushing. "He's on your other side, behind Bella."

Bella rolled her eyes and moved over to sit by Emmeline. Lily now had a clear view of a very angry-looking James Potter glaring at her.

"Evans ..." he whispered, a rather dangerous edge to his voice. "I am in the Hospital Wing with three cracked ribs because of you!"

Nothing but a small squeak escaped Lily's mouth. Three cracked ribs?

"Um ... well ... er ... you'll survive," retorted Lily. Her head began to throb painfully again.

James rolled his eyes, exasperated. "Of course I'll survive, Evans! You're not that good at magically attempted murder!"

"Attempted what now?" asked Lily, balling her fists at his accusation. She hadn't been trying to kill him.

"Mur-der," he stated slowly, as if she was an ignorant three-year-old. "Would you like me to write it down for you?"

"How dare you accuse me of such things!" she snapped, breathing heavily. "I wasn't trying to kill you!"

"Oh, was I supposed to be viciously maimed? Irreversibly disfigured? Maliciously mutilated? Believe me I've got more," said James glancing absently at his nails. (1)

"Ha, I'm James Potter! I'm the funniest guy in the whole world!" Lily retorted sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"Wow, I'm glad we agree on that," he responded blandly.

"Prat."

"Wench."

"Git."

"Tart."

"Arse."

"Lily!" gasped Emmeline, covering her mouth in surprise. "We're only eleven!"

James smirked and gave Lily a sneer.

"Bitch," he hissed.

"Mr. Potter! That was highly uncalled for! Scourgify!" Madam Pomfrey cried as she entered the room, and with a wave of her wand, James was gagging on the pink soap bubbles that filled his mouth.

"Yes, Potter. You shouldn't be using such filthy words," said Lily, smirking as he spat out a large amount of pink foam.

"And as for you, young lady!" said Madam Pomfrey, bustling over to Lily. She shrank away, afraid that she'd end up with a mouthful of soap too, but Madam Pomfrey just smiled wearily at her. "I'm sure whatever you called Mr. Potter was long overdue."

"But--but--" James began to protest.

"Mr. Potter, I insist you rest!" snapped Madam Pomfrey, forcing him back down on the bed and magicking the blankets tightly around him, so he couldn't move.

She then pulled a bottle of purple liquid out of her apron and forced a spoonful down James's throat. The three girls gagged as the smell of dirty socks emmited out of the open bottle.

"Now, this potion will help relieve the pain while your ribs heal, and it also contains a good amount of sleeping potion, so I suggest you don't fight to stay awake. Have a good rest, Mr. Potter."Madam Pomfrey then hurried over to Lily's bedside. "How do you feel, dear?" she asked, her tone motherly.

"My head hurts," Lily whimpered, feeling childish.

"Nothing a good rest won't cure," Madam Pomfrey replied briskly. "Do you think you'll need a sleeping potion like Mr. Potter?"

Lily glanced at James whose eyelids were drooping as he muttered something that sounded like "bloody wankers". She smiled and shook her head.

"Time for your friend to get some rest," said Madam Pomfrey strictly, shooing Emmeline and Bella out of the Hospital Wing.

Lily yawned, leaned back on her pillow, and was soon fast asleep.

"Shhh be quiet!"

"Ouch, Peter, that was my foot!"

"Sorry, it's dark!"

"Excuses, excuses."

James woke to the sound of hushed voices somewhere in the dark and squinted around for the source of the noise.

"Who's there?" he muttered groggily, reaching for his glasses on the nightstand.

Suddenly, Sirius, Peter, and Remus appeared at the foot of his bed.

"How did you--you took my cloak!" James hissed angrily, seeing the silvery fabric Sirius was stuffing down the front of his pajamas.

"Yeah, yeah we took it, but with only good intentions at heart," said Sirius with an innocent smile.

James snorted loudly.

"Well, yes, it was with good intentions!" Sirius replied indignantly. "To visit our good friend Mr. James Potter and ... to prank Filch right under his nose!"

Remus grinned impishly. "All Sirius's idea, of course."

Sirius nodded happily, but then paused and glared at Remus. "Hey! It was your idea! You just want me to take credit for it because if we get caught, you'll end up with less detentions than me!"

"Yeah, that sounds about right." Remus retorted with another grin. He jumped out of the way as Sirius trying to trip him.

"Got rid of the tentacles,did we, Pete?" James asked, glancing sideways at his other friend.

"Yes. Gross slimy things." Peter shuddered. "Madam Pomfrey let me out around nine."

"I thought they looked most becoming on you, Peter," said James innocently.

Peter smiled for a moment and then looked confused, and he scratched his head.

"Yeah, you spend a little time on that brainbuster," said Sirius, doing a quiet victory dance as he had finally succeed in tripping Remus.

Remus picked himself off the floor and shook his head, sighing loudly, as he watched Sirius's 'dance'.

"Danced much?" he asked casually.

"No, why?"

"No reason."

James sighed, exasperated. "And you three came to see me why?"

Sirius cocked his head at Lily sleeping in the next bed. "Why the hell did you let her beat you in that duel?"

"Let her beat me?" James protested, seriously affronted. "She is surprisingly good at jinxes and hexes!"

"Oh ... is ickle Jamesie still upset about being beaten by a girl for the second time?" said Remus, smirking.

"She started it!" James hissed back, pointing angrily at Lily. "Hex her! Hex her right now!"

"I actually don't feel comfortable hexing someone who can whoop your arse," Sirius replied, shaking his head. "Particuarly when they are sleep."

"Yeah, it wouldn't be fair," said Peter, nodding in agreement.

"Remus?" said James eagerly, a wild look in his eyes. "Come on, mate, help me out! Madam Pomfrey took my wand! I can't do it myself!"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Oh no. I don't want Evans pissed at me. Didn't it hurt when she threw you against that wall?"

James shrugged. "Not really."

Sirius scoffed loudly. "Come on! You were whimpering like a hurt dog the whole way to the Hospital Wing!"

"I was not!"

"You were too!"

Just then, Lily gave a loud snort, and the three Marauders quickly disappeared under the Invisibility Cloak.

"Who's talking?" she asked sleepily.

"No one's talking, Evans," said James softly.

"Huh. I could have sworn I heard Black saying something about whimpering dogs," Lily muttered, eyelids drooping.

"Nope, nobody here. Go back to sleep," he said, shooting a quick glance in his friends' direction to make sure they were completely hidden.

"Okay," said Lily, yawning. "G'night, Potter."

"G'night. James waited a few minutes until he was sure Lily was asleep before hissing, "OK, it's all clear."

His three friends pulled the Invisibility Cloak off, and to James's dismay, they were all grinning smugly at him.

"What?" he asked, scooting backwards as his friends advanced closer.

"You still like her!" Sirius replied gleefully.

"Who?" James asked, completely confused.

"Evans!" said Sirius, looking as if he thought James was a complete moron.

"No, I don't!"

"Yes, you do!"

"Why? How?" said James, whirling on Remus and Peter, who clearly good speak more sensibly that Sirius.

"Well, you were kind and quiet when you talked to her," Remus stated, shifting a little uncomfortably.

"It's after midnight! Was I supposed to shout 'GO BACK TO BED, YOU BLOODY WENCH'?" asked James indignantly.

"Well, in theory, yes--if you actually hated her," replied Peter, the corners of his mouth twitching in an effort not to grin.

"I do!" James insisted, feeling frantic.

"No, you don't!" Sirius said, his voice rising to what could only be described as a hushed shout.

"But, I do! Want me to wake her up and yell at her? Is that you want, Remus? An angry, sleep-deprived Evans?" James said, turning to his friend and giving him a cold, icy glare.

"Not particularly," Remus responded, his tone chilly.

"Than get it through your thick heads: I do not and will not ever fancy Lily Evans!" James said, his tone final.

"Yeesh," Sirius muttered darkly. "Jamesie needs some sleep. See you in the morning, James."

The three Marauders flung the Invisibility Cloak over themselves, and James listened as the Hospital Wing doors swung shut with a dry click.

He laid awake for a long time, contemplating what his friends had said. They were abso-bloody-lutely crazy. All he had for Lily Evans was spite and pure hate. And if he had anything to say about, that was all he was ever going have for her.

Heh... heh... Yes, they didn't go to Dumbledore's office yet, but they will! Lily and James just have to get released from the Hospital Wing first. Next chapter, I promise. Did you like it? E.D.J.