Authoress' Note- Hello! Year One is finally done! I told you I'd get it done before the end of the month-victory dance- So here it is! Reviews are quite lovely things! E.D.J.
P.S. I apologize for the extremely long response to Constructive Critcism's complaints, but I feel I need to get all these answers out, so people will understand where I'm coming from. Please feel free to read the response and it may clear up a few things for you!
Reviews! Responses!
La Conquistadora- Yes the ink prank was a lovely bit of insanity. I'm glad I thought of it.
Constructive Criticism- I have answers to all of your complaints/constructive criticism. Canon actually shows that Lily cannot stand JAMES' pranks and his torturing of Snape. Also you may note that on page 713 of the U.K. edition of Order of the Phoenix right after James flips Snape upside down, revealing his underwear it clearly states this: "Lily, whose furious expression had twitched for an instant as though she were going to smile, said'Let him down'" Meaning she thought it was slightly FUNNY. Meaning she can enjoy a good prank, just not necessarily one that hurts someone else or is done by James Potter.
I must somewhat agree that Lily is slightly "perfect" at the moment, but she is not, in any way, shape, or form, someone who's a complete suck-up to the teachers or anything. (Not that you said that, but I'm trying to make it clear that she's not "perfect" in that way). She works HARD for her grades.
Also, the only evidence we have of James' best subject being Transfiguration is that his WAND was good for Transfiguration. It does not clearly state, "James Potter's was the best student in Transfiguration and everyone else sucked at it and bowed down to him, begging them to teach them his wisdom. Except Lily Evans, who hated him and despite the fact that she was failing Transfiguration miserably, refused to ask him for help even though he was even more brilliant that the teacher, Professor McGonagall." More than one person can be good at a subject! It IS possible! Also, it was just the first class and the point I wanted to come across in that chapter is that, despite being a Muggleborn, Lily is still quite capable of doing magic no matter what other people may think. The same with James' Charms troubles. I wanted to point out that even though James is someone who's experienced the wizarding world his whole life, it doesn't guarantee successfulness at magic (think of Neville here, NOT that James is anything like Neville). Also it was not that James was bad at Charms, merely that he was saying the incantation wrong and once he had it correct, he could do a Levitation Charm successfully on the first try! These classes were NOT a reflection of Lily and James' talent throughout seven years, merely the reflection of how their very first classes went.
Also, I most certainly disagree with your statement that I "favor" Lily. I may be unconsciously doing it, if at all. You need my argument? Just because Lily has never "lost" does not mean she never will. Also, in the flying lesson chapter it was blatantly clear that James was a better flyer than Lily meaning he would "win" that particular "battle". And the Madam Pomfrey scene where Lily gets off with nothing? In my interpretation of it, Madam Pomfrey didn't hear the entire list of insults between Lily and James, only James' final insult. She merely ASSUMED Lily had been saying similar things, but really had no proof of it, so couldn't technically punish her. Also, Madam Pomfrey thinks that James is a complete troublemaker, so she again ASSUMED that James was the cause of the argument because of his developing reputation for causing michief. I assure that if James and Lily ever get caught by a teacher when they're throwing insults at each other and the teacher hears both parties using filthy words, they will BOTH be punished. Lily will not be let off because of favoritism! Besides, if I had to choose between the Marauders and Lily I would choose the Marauders in a heartbeat because they crack me up and I love them more than Lily! Also Miss Anonymous hp didn't say that I was too good to Lily, she said I should "focus less on her", meaning (in my opinion) that she thought I wrote too much about Lily and not enough Marauders and she also said that in HER opinion that Lily wouldn't be better at dueling that James, which I explained in the next chapter by stating that Lily was NOT better at dueling than James that they were EVENLY matched.
Self-insertion? Purely for humor reasons clearly which you don't seem to find funny. I am not "trying to make myself cool as if I actually belong". I am completely aware that I DON'T belong. I wish I did belong, but I sadly don't. You may also note that self-insertion is only in 2 out of 20 chapters and I already have a fic going were I may insert myself to my heart's desire and I also wrote in Chapter 14 after the self-insertion phase, "Yes I like popping into the story ever once and awhile to harass the characters, but I'm not going to do it that often because it would become too much like my Crazy Chats with the Harry Potter Characters fic and I want this story to have plot and to be realistic!" I will clarify now that it will NOT be happening ever again because that is what my parody fic is for. I am perfectly happy writing sarcastic authoress' notes to get my opinion across. I also think you should not say "we" don't like self-insertion because the above is in response to a reviewer who liked it and I have gotten no other complaints about it. I'm glad you were able to say the story has potential, despite the misgivings you stated in your review.Romulan Empress-Yes the Marauder Christmas-April Fool's Day, it makes sense, doesn't it? Happy to find you're rolling on the floor laughing! Don't hurt yourself!
Ch. 20-An Interesting End To Year One
April and May passed rather uneventfully and soon the end of the year exams were upon every Hogwarts student. Everyone in first through fourth year was terrified out of their wits by the fifth and seventh-years who were studying furiously for their O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s. There had been numerous 'accidents' where the younger student had come out with something abnormal (i.e.radishes and sometimes an odd turnip or two) growing out of their skin because they had accidentally disturbed an upperclassman. Madam Pomfrey was livid with the number of cases she had to deal with every day, and the infamous Marauders were among them almost daily, though they were never seriously maimed.
At the moment, the four boys were huddled on the staircase up to the boys' dormitory, making a plan as to what would bemost disturbing to their upper classmates.
"Abnormal hair growth?" said Remus, peering at the list in his hand.
"Did it," said Sirius. "Don't you remember what Cecilia Waters looked like?"
"Ah right," said Remus with a chuckle. "Her nose hair almost reached her knees, didn't it?"
"That's the one," said Sirius, nodding.
James rubbed his head. "Who haven't we annoyed yet?"
Peter glanced down at the list he held on his lap. "Er... Gabrielle Eriksson... oops no, got her with that Soundless Stink Bomb... Peregrine Oldham... nope, got him with that packet of Zonko's Fire-Breathing Ants... Aileen Worthing... no, convinced Peeves to dump Filch's bucket of mopping water on her...WOW!"
"What?" asked James anxiously. "What is it?"
Peter smiled triumphantly. "We've pranked every fifth and seventh-year in the school."
Remus frowned and ripped the list out of Peter's hands. "That can't be possible! I was sure we had at least two or three left!"
Sirius screwed up his face in concentration. "We started last Sunday... today's Sunday again... exams actually start tomorrow... x number of pranks a day..."
"Sirius," said James, clapping his friend on the back. "Don't even try to do that in your head. There's a reason why Remus does anything that require math for us."
Sirius threw a punch at James's head, but James dodged it expertly. "I know you too well for you to be able to hit me like that," said James with a slight smirk.
"Then I'll just have to think of a new strategy to get a punch at you, won't I?" growled Sirius, pouting slightly.
"Don't even start, Sirius," said Remus, barely glancing up from the list of students he was still going over. After a few moments, he thrust the paper back at Peter with an upset look on his face.
"Well?" asked Peter smugly. "Is there any fifth or seventh-years left?"
"No," said Remus, sullenly. "I was wrong."
Sirius, James, and Peter all clasped hands over the hearts in mock horror.
"Our ickle Remmy got something wrong?" gasped Sirius.
"Don't rub it in," grumbled Remus. He scowled at his friends' grinning faces. "You don't have to look so ecstatic about it."
"Oh, trying to save his dignity by using some big words," said James gleefully. He ducked a hex from Remus's direction, feeling a burst of heat singe the top of his hair. He shook a finger at Remus. "Now, now, Remmy. Didn't Mummy tell you not to play with fire?"
Remus responded by shooting another burst of flame at James, setting his robes alight. James quickly put out the fire with a bit of water from his wand and Sirius grappled with Remus until he was able to tuck his friend's wand away, out of Remus's reach.
"You've forced us to take drastic measures," said Sirius with mock exasperation. "We can't just let you go around starting people on fire, can we?"
Remus muttered something unintelligible and raced up to their dormitory. Obviously, an idea had popped into his head.
His friends remained on the stairs, knowing Remus wasn't capable of damaging anything important of theirs withouta wand in his hand. Remus soon returned, a small red and gold bound book and a few crumpled sheets of parchment. Sirius and James looked confused while Peter's eyes widened to a look of complete horror.
"What are you... what are you doing with that?" Peter croaked, trying to grab one of the items out of Remus's hand.
"Blackmail," said Remus simply, a evil glint in his blue-grey eyes. "I'll read it to the entire common room if you don't shut it about my little 'mistake'."
"Read what?" said James and Sirius, glancing eagerly at the things in Remus's hand.
Remus cleared his throat and flipped open to a random page inside the red and gold book. This drew a strangled yelp from Peter. "Dear Diary," said Remus in a high squeaky voice. "It's your good friend Peter again! I hope you haven't been too lonely. Maybe I can find you a nice lady book friend to keep you-"
At that moment, Peter shouted, "Fine!" and ripped the book from Remus's hands.
"And as for you two," said Remus, whirling on Sirius and James who were laughing hysterically over the fact that Peter kept a diary. "I believe these doodles may be somewhat intriguing to the rest of the House and perhaps... the entire school?"
He held up two rather worn pieces of parchment, one embellished with a large intertwined J.P and L.E. and the other with SB plus BM written numerous times across it.
Both boys' faces paled considerably, and they snatched the parchment out of Remus's hands with a grumbling of: "Sorry." James even went to the length of setting his parchment on fire with his wand while Sirius chose to rip his to pieces and then burn it.
"Touchy, are we?" said Remus, smiling slightly. "Those were rather old, but I'm sure Miss Evans and Miss Meadows would be quite horrified just the same."
James muttered something unintelligible while Sirius just shot an angry glare at Remus.
Finally, after a few tense minutes, James asked, "So, what are we going to do if we've pranked everyone? We can't go around pranking everyone again! They'll suspect something right away."
"An end of the term prank?" suggested Remus, warily eyeing Sirius who still looked rather angry. Remus sighed. "You know Sirius, I wouldn't have really shown that parchment to Meadows."
"Because you knew I beat you to a pulp," muttered Sirius darkly.
Remus chuckled. "Well, that and I knew I'd get a good beating from Meadows and Evans. I think they'd both rather remain in the dark on this one than have me tell them what really went on the first couple months of term."
Sirius and James both grumbled irritably.
Remus sighed and rubbed his temples. "I'm shot for ideas right now, mates. I used them all for the fifth and seventh-years' pranks. I think we may need to actually start studying for those exams for tomorrow though."
The other three boys sighed audibly, but nodded in agreement before getting large stacks of books from their dormitory. (A/N- My, my, aren't they studious?)
Meanwhile, in this first year girls' dormitory, the girls were studying furiously and had been for the last two hours. Books lay strewn about the room along with a large quantity of broken quills and ripped parchment.
"Emmeline?" said Bella hopefully, glancing at her friend whose eyes looked rather glazed as she read over Herbology notes. "Might you know the key ingredient to the Draught of Living Death?"
"Aconite!" said Lily immediately.
Emmeline glanced up from her notes, slightly exasperated. "Actually it's asphodel, Lily."
Lily's brow furrowed, and she quickly began looking through her copy of One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi. "Damn," she muttered, crossing something off of her notes.
"A bit much to remember, isn't it?" said Emmeline lightly.
"A bit?" said Lily. "It's a bloody truckload is what it is!"
"Truckload?" asked Bella, confused.
"Muggle thing," said Lily and Emmeline immediately.
Bella nodded, knowing she had no expertise in that area. She glanced absently at the two beds to her left and was quite pleased to see that Faye and Deidra had finally moved their gossip train to the common room, away from people who actually were concerned about their marks and not just their nail color.
"I can't take this anymore!" snapped Lily, sweeping her large pile of books onto the floor. "If I don't know it by now, I will never know it!" (A/N- Hee. Friends' humor. 56 states! Hee.)
"I agree with you, Lils," said Bella, eagerly following Lily's example. "I'm too tired to think straight let alone learn anything."
Emmeline slowly put her books away too and the three girls fell fast asleep soon after.
"What is the incantation for a Levitation Charm?" asked Peter as he quizzed James the next day at breakfast.
"Wingardium Leviosa!" said James immediately, demonstrating the charm on the salt cellar in front of him.
"How do you keep a Venomous Tentacula from attacking?" Remus asked Sirius.
"Chuck it something better to eat?" asked Sirius hopefully, shoveling down a large forkful of eggs.
Remus sighed. "No. You have to use some type of Immobulus Charm to be able to get near to it."
Sirius shrugged slightly, shoveling some more eggs into his mouth. "Same difference."
"James!" said Remus, thrusting a stack of parchment at his friend. "Sirius is being most uncooperative. Will you quiz me?"
"I already know everything!" protested Sirius. "I don't need to study!"
James nodded. "I'm sure I know it all too, so, Remmy, you probably know twice as much as Sirius and me combined."
Remus smirked slightly. "That's probably true."
"Hey, I was only kidding!" said a very insulted James.
"Oh," said Remus. "I wasn't."
After a full two days of exams, all the first years were eager for the summer holiday, but they were quite upset about having to leave their newfound friends for three months or so. Many hugs and tears were exchanged among the girls and many a manly pat on the back from the boys. (A/N- Typical.)
The end of the year feast had been most spectacular, ending in an unplanned shooting off of hundreds of fireworks. The Marauders, of course, took the majority of the credit for the display though it was rumored that they'd hired a few Ravenclaw first years to help. This, however, wasn't true because it was also rumored that the Marauders had gained help from a number of sinister, Dark Arts-obsessed Slytherins, though many would why fireworks would interest these students, a troop of vengeful ghouls, and even the Headmaster, Professor Dumbledore.
No one seemed able to believe that four first-years could pull so many pranks without outside help. The Marauders had shrugged it all off, only concerned about their own entertainment for now.
By the time they reached King's Cross Station, the Marauders had started a few rumors of their own, again for their own entertainment. One in particular involved a family of double-ended newts who had supposedly attacked a group of Hufflepuffs in the greenhouses. It was amazing what utter stupidity people would believe.
As the students streamed off the Hogwarts Express, James waved goodbye to his friends who had quickly spotted their own families. He returned to the compartment to drag his trunk and things out onto the platform. As he pushed a door open, he flew forward and saw a flash of bright red.
Glasses askew, he got up muttering, "Sorry... didn't mean to..." James adjusted his glasses on the brim of his nose. "Evans," he breathed.
"Potter," said Lily curtly, not even glancing up.
She tried to lift her trunk, but it was obviously too heavy because of the loud yelp that escaped her mouth at the effort.
James squinted at her. "If that thing's so heavy, why aren't Vance and Meadows helping you?"
"They left already!" snapped Lily, managing to lift the trunk slightly, but it only resulted in her dropping the end of it on her foot.
James sighed and grabbed one end of the trunk. Lily looked at him suspiciously.
"My mother taught me to help everyone who needs it," said James quietly.
"I don't need help!" retorted Lily.
James gritted his teeth. "Evans, you're going to be stuck on this train until second year if I don't help you, so shut it and help me lift this bloody thing!"
Lily sniffed slightly, but complied. They managed to get her trunk through the door and out onto the platform.
"Thanks," said Lily stiffly.
James shrugged and turned to retrieve his own things from inside the train.
"Potter?" said Lily suddenly and James spun around slowly. She sighed. "Will I ever be rid of you?"
James grinned slightly. "I doubt it."
I love my cute little ending for First Year! Hopefully I'll be able to start year two soon! In the meantime, give me some encouragement by reviewing! Ta! E.D.J.