My name is Wizard.
And, considering I live in a house full of teenage boys, you'd think I'd be the horniest teenage girl in the entire universe.
But I'm not. I promise.
See, I've grown up with the same twelve boys since day one of my life.
Yes, twelve.
My mother accidentally got pregnant, thanks to her sex-starved boyfriend. The minute he found out, though, my jerk of a father walked out. My mother was left alone, and she died nine months later, during my birth.
Sad, I know, but I didn't ever know her, so I'm okay.
I went straight to the orphanage, where I was raised by nuns.
I became best friends with Jack Kelly, mostly because he and I shared a common ground: a dead mother, and a jerk father.
Thus, I played rough-and-tumble games with the boys, rather than dolls with the girls. Soon, the nuns began giving me boy's clothes, because I kept ruining my dresses.
Eventually, my ring of friends became the twelve boys I was living with now. We were the orphanage rejects. We were the ones no one wanted to adopt, and with good reason.
Jack didn't want to be adopted. This is going to sound corny, but he didn't want to go anywhere without me.
No one wanted to adopt me, because everyone wanted the sweet, frilly girl who was quiet and well-behaved. And that's what they got. Just not from me.
Spot was a different story. He hated the very idea of being adopted. He was independent and also rather arrogant, a trait which only grew as the years went by, thanks to the girls who swooned at the sight of his, admittedly, captivating blue eyes. But he caused so much trouble for anyone who considered adopting the "angelic" boy.
Racetrack is a gambler. Enough said. Funnily enough, all the happy couples seemed horrified at his not-to-nice language, and his inability to watch a fight without taking bets.
Kid Blink is the one doing the fighting. He's a cheerful guy, and he's incredibly loyal to his friends. So if you ever insult a friend of Blink's, consider yourself pounded. Plus, he's blind in one eye. He wears an eyepatch, and I suppose the adopters didn't want to touch that subject
Snitch is, obviously, a thief. He suffers from kleptomania, meaning he compulsively steals things. Obviously, that's an immediate turnoff.
Crutchy is a gimp. His leg was permanently damaged, and now he walks with a crutch. So, to adopt him, one would have to lessen the amount of stairs in one's house. People are in such a hurry these days, no one has the patience to slow their pace for someone like Crutchy.
Skittery is a pessimist. He practically hates the world. The glass is never half-full, or half-empty—it's just empty. You can imagine, no one wanted the sullen, curly-haired boy in the corner.
Swifty's a really fast runner. Want to know how he got that way? Because when he was a kid, he was on a constant sugar-high, so the nuns made him run until he ran out his high. It didn't work. So everyone thought he was psycho. It took all of the orphans to convince the nuns not to strap him in a straightjacket.
Bumlets was foreign. He only spoke Spanish. It wasn't until we were ten that he learned English. Nobody could understand him for at least three years. But then we all learned enough Spanish to understand him most of the time.
Mush was the sickly boy playing with his teddy bear. He was thin, with flesh the color of oatmeal, and for a long time he was getting sick monthly. He had Blink fretting like a mother hen once a month, as if he was a were-chicken. But eventually Mush's immune system started working properly. Now he works out, and he's ripped.
Dutchy was ADD. He had problems learning when he was young, and he had to be tutored privately. An average couple in New York didn't have the hours to teach him. He still can't spell worth crap, but at least he can go to a normal school.
Specs was the exact opposite of Dutchy, which is funny, because they're best friends. While Dutchy had a learning disorder, Specs was a certified genius. By the time he was thirteen, he had read the Encyclopedias A-D,. He would have gone to Harvard when he was fifteen, if he didn't want to stay with his friends.
So. There you have it: the thirteen rejects. We're cursed with the unlucky number, but we share a friendship like no one can match.
But now we've all hit puberty, and emotions are going up and down. This is the time when our friendship will be put to the test.
I can only hope we pass.