Disclaimer: Still don't own DNAngel. I do however own this horrible lower back pain that prevents me from doing anything but spazz before the comp. Cicero F. Kahran and Stefan "Skye Fiinix" Virocci appear c/o Rokuryu Studios. Authors mentioned here belong to themselves.

Author's Note: Anyone know a good brand of pain reliever…? X.x

Hiwatari and the Mary Sue Hunt

Cicero entered the room with a sigh of what seemed to be discontentment. Another agent looked up at her and turned back to checking her notes. "How's he going, Nami?" she asked, tilting her cap at the usual angle it was in. "Not good…" the agent with the clipboard sighed.

"The Mary Sue's aura is placing false memories in his head."

Cicero merely sighed once more. So much for hope

"Look…" she murmured, running her fingers through her hair. "When he comes to, we'll give him a cleansing and put him through therapy. Keep an eye on him." And with that, she left the room.

Daisuke looked up worriedly at Cicero as she returned to them. "How… how is he?" the redhead asked. Cicero raised an eyebrow. "Don't make this a hospital drama, kid. We're doing the best we can. He'll come to. We're sure." She replied. Skye pulled himself from the wall and turned to his partner. "This isn't Hiwatari's first time here, is it?" he asked. Cicero merely shook her head. Indeed, it wasn't.

"The last time he was here, we had to purge this memory a pregnant!sue left with him." She groaned. Skye nodded in agreement. Daisuke blinked. How come he didn't remember that? Cicero turned to him. "We had to do a full mind sweep just so you guys could go on with your lives." She replied.

Skye stuffed his hands in his pockets. "We work sorta like the Men In Black. We eradicate the scum, save the bish and mindsweep you guys so you don't remember we were even there."

"We got agents all over the place." He added, staring at the ceiling.

The sight of several agents proved this.

There were some wearing uniforms reflective of some schools where bishonen studied. Some wore ceremonial robes of temple maidens, some who were working on the Magdalia case wore nun habits. Some others were dressed like demons and such. Cicero glanced off at the agents.

"Most agents team up with an OC of theirs just in case they need extra fire power on the field… like me and Skye here. Most others work alone here in the lab, caring for the ones we bring back." She explained. "Sey here's different. Since she was the BRA's first ever field agent, she isn't assigned to protect anyone in particular." Skye smirked. "Yeah.. we pop in here and there, checking for the presence of Sues when we can. This time around, we decided to check on your side of the world." Cicero chuckled.

"Lucky we did." Skye nodded.

Suddenly, the door opened and the agent from before peered out.

"Sey-chan? Satoshi's up."

Cicero nodded and turned to a wall speaker.

"Get me three other agents to the Hiwatari case." She barked into it.

Much later, Cicero and the three agents she called for were gathered in a large room. Satoshi was brought from his "hospital ward" and made to sit in a large leather armchair in the middle of it. Behind a one-way mirror, Skye clapped a hand over Daisuke's shoulder with a small smile.

"Don't worry about Hiwatari-kun." Skye grinned.

"The agents are professionals."

"WHO THE HELL IS THE SUE WHO DARED INTERFERE WITH HIWATARI-KUN! I'LL STRANGLE HER! I'LL LOP HER HEAD OFF!" cried an agent called K. Dri stood behind the other and grabbed her by the armpits. "Sorry, Sey… she's a newcomer, a real livewire!" she chuckled. Cicero merely nodded and turned her cap over her eyes. "Yuri, you have the salt bath ready?" she asked.

At that, Yuriko wheeled in a humongous tray of nothing but salt. "Iodized or Rock?" Cicero asked. "Iodized. If you go cleaning him with rock salt, you might scratch him or something." Yuri laughed.

"True, true…." Cicero chuckled.

From behind the one-way mirror, Daisuke blinked. "A-anou… Fiinix-san… what are they doing?" he asked. "You know how salt drives away evil spirits?" he asked. "It's something like that." Skye replied. Daisuke managed a nervous smile. So they were going to spray him with salt. Not a problem.

"Alright, everyone.." Cicero smirked.

"Get ready to roll!"

Daisuke's ruby eyes widened in horror as he saw Satoshi being lifted off the ground and suddenly rolled into the salt. Yes, rolled.

The only sound one could hear from the cleaning room was the chant of "Heave ho! Heave ho!" as Dri, Yuriko and K began to roll Satoshi back and forth over the pan of iodized salt. Skye felt his right eye twitching. This part of the cleansing always made him twitch. Daisuke stood by the taller man's side, stunned.

The next part of the cleaning did nothing to calm his fears.

Next, Dri rolled in what seemed to be a giant bubbling cauldron. "Fi.. fiinix-san.. what are they going to do next…?" Daisuke stammered. "Bath." Skye merely noted, folding his arms across his chest.

Daisuke nearly fainted when Satoshi was dunked into the vat.

Cicero sweatdropped, unaware of what the rest of the agents were doing. She turned around just in time to see an emotionless Hiwatari sitting in a vat of boiling water. Dri stirred said water while Yuri added carrots and potatoes into the "stew". "WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK YOU'RE DOING!" Cicero demanded.

"Um… little boy broth?" Dri smiled nervously.

"I told them it was a bad idea…" sighed K.

"Want a taste?" asked Yuri.

"Get him out and give him a REAL bath." Cicero groaned.

END OF CHAPTER FIVE-

Review replies!

Ribbonkitty – Interesting possibility. I don't want anything to do with the Harada twins, tho. I have to say, I LOATHE Sato/Risa so… that's not happening.

Frozenmagicfire – Yes, I know Saiyuki. Yuri-chan is a friend of mine who likes it so.. yeah. XD I might not do any shonen-ai in this fic, tho.. Never liked anything but Krad/Sato..

Les Scribbles – Kradders….? XD

I'd like to thank Dri for the soup idea.
There's an actual Mary Sue suggested in this chapter. XD
Now then… next chapter: Therapy!
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