Title: What it Means to Be
Author: Sparklehunter
Warnings: Light shounen-ai, angst
Summary: Tsunade's reconciling what she did to Iruka, Iruka's reconciling his entire life, and Naruto's reconciling dreams.
Part: Die Alone, 2/4
Author's Note: Please review. I'm getting nervous that the only one reading is Chibi-akuma-no-kage-sama, and discouraged enough to send her the rest and forget about it here. I don't want to beg (or threaten) for reviews, but I'm getting scared. Please?
Author's Note II: seven point two five in a series of snapshots about the aftermath of an almost-death. Sequel to Betrayal/Shinobi.
What it Means to Be
Die Alone
by sparklehunter
"You'll die alone," says —.
Naruto realizes this.
"What did Konoha ever do for you, Kyuubi?"
Naruto remembers everything.
"Why don't you give up!"
Naruto doesn't flinch when — cuts his arm.
Naruto won't flinch if — cuts off his arm. He's loyal, fatally so, and it gives him a twisted sort of pleasure to know he won't break, — can't break him. He loves Konoha, and all her people (he'll even admit loving Hokage, and Kakashi, and Jiraiya, because he is under torture) and he knows that the village trusts him, relies on him, so he won't break. He has dreams, and he's achieved most of them. He figures that surviving would be good (and he's good enough a ninja that if given a quarter chance, he'll be long gone from this prison camp) but dying won't be the end of his world (or maybe it will, but . . . and maybe he isn't thinking straight), because he's still completely free of the stigma of Kyuubi.
People need him. Konoha needs him. He may not be Hokage, but it sure as hell is the next best thing.
"You'll die alone," says —.
The words jar him out of his thoughts, bring him back to dark eyes and foul breath and blood all over. There are seals written in the blood, binding him tight to the prison, binding his strength and the Kyuubi part of his soul. It makes his body feel weak, but he can still think under the layers and layers of bindings. Naruto stares up at — with his eyes bloodshot and blue, glazed from lack of sleep and pain, but still cocky and bright. He manages to wink.
He bites his tongue to keep from screaming when — pours salt into the cuts on his arm.
"Cocky son-of-a-whore. You Konoha bastards must fuckin' like the pain."
— shoves Naruto off the chair he was tied to, signaling the end of the session. — is angry, and Naruto is proud of that, even as he falls onto the floor of his cell, his head cracking on the stone. — kicks him against the wall, and he sees bright flashes of light like sunbursts beneath his eyelids.
He hears footsteps leave his cell, and as the ringing in his ear subsides, he still hears the words echo in his mind:
"You'll die alone," but the thought isn't as scary as it should be.
TBC.