Title: Worth Something
Author: Sparklehunter
Warnings: Shounen-ai, angst
Summary: It's time for goodbyes, but Naruto, Iruka, and Kakashi find themselves unable to let go.
Part: Hello and Goodbye, 1/3
Author's Note: Number eight point oh in a series of snapshots about the aftermath of an almost-death. Sequel to What it Means to Be/Remember.
Author's Note II: Please Review! Responses to reviews are at the end - there are more responses than there is story . . . . And stop in tomorrow for part two of Worth Something, called Regrets!
Worth Something
Hello and Goodbye
by sparklehunter
Dear Kakashi, this is hello and goodbye.
You see, I've finally realized that you're right,
and I was being selfish and childish.
He crumples the paper into a ball, and throws it in the wastebasket.
Dear Kakashi, I just wanted to say that I love you, even if I was a
selfish bastard to you the past few months. I wish it
He throws that one out, as well.
Kakashi, I've made it into the village. The people here are absurdly
nice. I live on the ground floor of an apartment building,
and every day the lady upstairs and the landlord stop by to make
sure I don't need anything.
He rips that paper to shreds before tossing it.
Kakashi. I miss you. I'm sorry I was such an ass to you,
when you were trying to help me. I'm sorry it took Naruto's capture
to make me realize that there are little things I can still do. But this isn't
really a little thing, is it? I'm sorry I
He dumps the rest of the notebook in the trash; he's run out of paper.
Dear Kakashi. I was never any good at writing letters, because
it always took too much time. I always wanted to be out there,
doing something. That's why I started teaching Naruto, you know,
so I would be doing something. That's the first this I was attracted
to in you - no, it wasn't your eyes or hair, though they are lovely - it
was how you were always doing something.
He opened the desk drawer and pulled out another sheet of stationary.
Dear Kakashi. I love you. Don't hate me?
He thinks that writing is overrated, and he wishes that he didn't have to.
Dear Kakashi
He throws that out, too.
Dear Kakashi, this is hello and goodbye. I've failed the village
by letting myself wallow in self-pity, and I have to make up for it.
Maybe there are other ways to go about this, but this is the fastest.
I can't let Naruto stay here any longer, the entire village can hear
screams from the prison at night, though no one says anything.
I can't let Naruto stay here any more than I could let you
He hesitates before trashing that one, as well, deciding that he's getting better even if it's not getting easier.
Kakashi, you get the black box on our bed. The big one, that I
bought last year? Sakura gets the small blue one - and yes,
it is small, compared to yours. The rest are labeled, so you know who
gets what. It was just - Kakashi, I told you I was giving
Naruto almost everything and
He has to go get another garbage, because the one in the bedroom is full.
My Kakashi. I love you, I'm sorry, don't take this too hard what
the hell am I writing? I love you . . .
He throws out that attempt.
Dear Kakashi,
I'm writing to tell you goodbye. I'll be leaving to finish the mission in the morning,
so I will not see you again. I'm sorry. I know that I should have
discussed this with you, first, but I couldn't wait for you.
I've never had much patience - and you know it, I just don't beg as
quickly as you do - and I was never any good at waiting, where Naruto was
concerned. I always have jumped straight in the thick of things,
especially to protect him.
I love you, Kakashi, more than I've loved anyone in my life. I know you'll
find this annoyingly sappy - we don't say 'I love you' or other sappy prose
very often, do we? I think that was a mistake, because I wish I could tell you forever.
I love you, Kakashi.
I'm inclosing instructions on what to do with my belongings. Most of the
stuff goes to Naruto, but there's a box on my bed that's for you
(you'll remember it, it's the large black one), and another box for
Sakura (small, blue, kind of . . . girly).
Don't let Naruto grieve too long. You two . . . out of all the Shinobi in
Konoha, you and Naruto will go the farthest. I don't know what else to say, Kakashi.
I love you.
Iruka
Dear Kakashi, this is hello and goodbye . . . .
TBC
Review Responses:
Umino Megumi: I mentioned (very briefly) that Iruka got into a fight with a guy with a battle ax. The ax actually ripped a chunk out of his spine, and the medical nins weren't able to fix the damage. You write better in English than I ever did in foreign language classes, so there is no need to apologize! And thank you for the complements, I'm glad you liked my stories!
Framling: I originally had the intention to write these so they all could be read independently of each other . . . I gave up two lines into Expendable. And I'm so glad they don't come across as purple. Personally, I'm worried the repetition will get old - I've already noticed, in WiMtB, that the writing quality went down. I re-outlined all the rest of the series after I realized that!
Polka dot: Ending this will be hard in the sense that I keep rewriting how I get to the final story. The final story itself is outlined, with notes on phrasing, and the desire to post it is what gets me through slow parts, like the forthcoming Regret. And, of course, the reviews make me smile! As for Kakashi saving the day . . . we'll see. I, personally, am in the mood for a little (ok, a lot) Iruka torture. (cackles madly) Okay, I have to agree . . . reading about miserable people is fun - but sticking them in those situation? Heavenly . . . .
Buttered-onions: A happy ending . . . ? What's that? Well, by the end not everyone will be unhappy, I can promise that. I'm sticking Worth Something on the end of WiMtB, because it's only three parts, but the next arc (tentatively titledTorture) (err . . .) will be its own story.
Ree'rhea: I won't stop posting, I promise. I just hope people keep reviewing! The idea of Shinobi and their loyalty has intrigued me since I started reading Naruto, which is part of the reason why I wrote this. I make no promises about crying - but just a warning, it does get worse.
Chibi-akuma-no-kage: Actually, it never even crossed my mind that Naruto could refuse to leave without Iruka until you mentioned this. Will not write anymore, because that would be spoilers for the . . . angst.
Christina: Thank you very much! Mmm, Kakairu is very tasty. . . . I hope you continue to enjoy the series!
Stardancer1: Wow, it was recommended? Spiffy! I'm glad you liked it, and I hope you continue to enjoy the story - there is a long way to go before it's done.
Nezuko: There is a good chance for a prequel, but I don't want to make a promise that I won't be able to keep. It depends on how much work is in the next semester. Betrayal and loyalty are running themes in this (as if you couldn't tell), and I'm curious if anyone else is as curious about the ideas as I am. Missing nin and loyalty - I think, that for a Shinobi, love would conquer all, but only because a Shinobi has to love the village most of all . . . . (mulls over some new ideas)
Kiasca: I'm sorry you almost cried. Okay, not really. Actually, I went: squeal! I got an emotional response! Yay! I hope Hokage's rant didn't disappoint! She kinda took over on me. . . so Iruka had to wait until today. Poor guy, got a day's reprieve from the angst . . . (maniacal snickering)
Turtle Demon: I'm trying to update daily, since each story/part/whatever is so short . . . thank you for reading!
Tea: You made more sense there than I made at work, but that really isn't that hard. . . . this series may have a happy ending, but I won't make promises. I definitely want to write a fic or two on how Kakashi and Iruka started their relationship, which is cute and spicy (if that makes sense). We'll see how it all turns out.
Vanyelashke89: Really? You like Tsunade? She's the character I struggle most with, though Sakura and Kakashi are close seconds. The kids (Sakura and Naruto) are hard because they're a lot older, now (18 or so) and they've outgrown a lot of their canon mannerisms, so I'm pretty sure they're all OOC. Aaargh.
Kaoro: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Ah, more angsty!Iruka, but with some fire back in him . . . He has the same problems with letter writing that I have.