The sound I produced was unmistakably…horrible.
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So horrid that I winced in pain. I didn't get it. I stroked the G string hoping to make a peaceful low sound. That plan didn't work. Next, A string E string; both of them, terrible. I started rubbing the bow against the strings rapidly, hoping to make a sound between the noise. It didn't work--not like it really was going to anyway-- and I got exhausted from all of the stroking. Damn, it couldn't be that hard.
Ban-chan sat in the corner of the room, rubbing his ears and temples, clearly not liking it either. He had a pain stricken expression written all over his face. Sheesh, it wasn't that bad, it was exactly like the sound of nails scraping against a board.
"Ginji. What. Was. That?" Ban-chan asked me through a gasping voice. "Do you want me to die! I mean c'mon bro, if you want me to die at least fry me, don't kill my ears and remaining brain cells!" It was obvious that he was angry about what I did.
"Sorry Ban-chan; why isn't it working? I did everything you told me to do! I was holding the position right, the bow placed correctly on my fingers, not my entire hand, the bow straight as an arrow and over the strings and I was standing up straight with the violin high in the air. What did I do wrong?" I spoke frantically. I pleaded with Ban-chan and my own inner being for the answer. What did I do wrong? I wanted to know.
My eyes clouded as I racked my brain with the knowledge I have for the possible answer. I just couldn't figure it out.
Ban-chan watched me, smoking a cigarette. I could tell he was also thinking up a solution. "To be honest with you Ginji, I really don't know. Keep trying; it might just come to you. You'll never know until you try."
I knew Ban-chan was trying his best to make me feel better. I appreciated it; it may not have completely work, but it gave me hope and strength my will. I smiled at Ban-chan. That idea really inspired me. I smirked as I held the violin in my hand.
I'm not one to give up that easily.
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For many days I practiced. I wasn't going to give up on this violin. I was diligent. My mind was set and focused on my objective to accomplish this task that was quite difficult. Nothing no one did or said was going to make me think twice about this. It wouldn't have mattered anyway because the only people who knew about these lessons were Ban-chan and I. When I learned to play, then I was going to show off to people.
Who to show off to first? Maybe Madoka-chan. She did have a more experienced and understanding mind about the violin. Also, she was the one who gave up the violin, thus starting my lessons, so she deserved to hear first.
"Ginji," Ban-chan said to get my attention away from the violin. I stopped and looked up to him. "Let's continue tomorrow. It's midnight, we have a job in six more hours so we need our energy, and you've been practicing for four hours now."
You're right Ban-chan. Let's go," I was disappointed about stopping because I was really starting to actually make the noise less harmful, but it still sucked. I put away to lovely instrument and seated myself in the passenger seat of the ladybug.
We sat in silence as we drove to our apartment. I looked at Shinjuku at night. It really did seem different a little more angst. Ban-chan still had the same attitude about the violin. A beautiful work he craved to play, yet he refused to be involved again with it. He rejected the calls it sent to his inner being.
"Damn it. Don't have that sad look on our face Ginji," Ban-chan said to me, breaking the silence. He glanced at me from the side of his eyes. He was still driving so he did need to pay attention to the road, not me. "You're getting better."
"That's not what I'm worried about. I mean I am, but not as much," I couldn't tell him my true motives. If I did he might stop; that's what I didn't want. I'll just explain to him that.
"You are thinking that I don't still have the same passion for the violin huh?" he asked. He didn't seem surprised. More like he knew.
"Yes, how did you know?" seriously. How did he know? Scratch that. When didn't he know?
He just smirked and said, "Trust me. I know what you are thinking. If I didn't, then I wouldn't be a good partner right?" he looked at me again and winked.
He's right! He is such a great partner he knew what I was thinking, feeling and just knows me. I smiled and responded, "Thanks Ban-chan this means much to me. One question though. Why don't you ever hold the violin?"
"It's not my place to?" he responded. Then, he smirked again.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"You might learn sooner than you expected bro."
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The days past. I still practiced. A little less than last since more jobs kept rolling in. Ban-chan kept his promise; whenever he got the chance, he'd take me to an empty parking lot or park and he'd let me play. He gave me tips and straightens out my back and showed me the placement of my hands and to hold the violin up high. But no matter what he did, I still squeaked and never once made a decent sound.
"Ban-chan?" I asked during practice. He looked up to acknowledge me. So I asked, "Do you have any ideas why I can't play?"
He continued to stare at me. Then, he looked away with a hurt looking in his eyes and his cigarette hanging.
"You know," I stated.
"More of an idea," he corrected.
An idea is better than nothing. It couldn't be so bad that he couldn't tell me. I stood up straight and looked him in the eyes. "Please…Ban." I said his name. This meant I was serious.
"You are to stressed…" He said
"Too stressed. I can easily relax. Watch just let me-" I was cut off from my rambling on relaxation.
"Let me finish! You are too stressed about helping me," he faced me as he spoke. "You aren't thinking of yourself; your ability; your talent. Ginji, I never said this before, but you have a real talent with the violin. If you calm your nerves of think of yourself and not me, then, yes. You can play. Stop thinking of me! Do you want me to play?" he asked.
I stayed silent. I was letting everything he said slowly calculate in my mind. What he was basically saying was that my unselfish made me suck. Harsh. I didn't get it though. I thought I thought caring for others was a good thing.
"Answer me Ginji! Do you want me to play?" he asked again.
"Yes," I squeaked out.
"I want to hear confidence as you say it!" he declared!
"Yes," I spoke a little louder this time.
"I can't hear the booming confidence you wish to declare.
"Yes! Yes I do want to play!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. I paused in realization. I just said 'I want to play' not 'Ban-chan want to play.'
I glanced over to him and I expected an angry look, but instead it was a true smile. "Precisely Ginji. You want to play; this isn't for me. I was just an excuse for your mind when your heart was thinking something else." He walked to me. "Well? What are you waiting for? Get that violin out and show me what you can do!" he exclaimed as he stood and waited as I ran to fetch the violin.
I placed to violin properly, held the bow properly and stood straight. I looked at Ban-chan's direction to be sure he was watching. He had all of his attention on me. All eyes were facing me. I breathed outward. I placed the bow on the violin.
Then, I stroked the bow on the strings.
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Moonlight: I couldn't think of a good anything, so I stopped there. Next chapter shall be the last. Most likely, unless I feel like making a sequel, which I doubt.
Ginji: Now Moonlight shall thank her beautiful reviewers.
Ban: Yay! Not.
The Sinner of Anger: I'm glad my chapters make you laugh!
Da Ban: Yay! I'm taking the time to update for once.
DarkSapphireDragon: Thanks for thinking it is a cute story. You were right when you thought there would be a minor disaster.
Mizukiandrea: See? I did continue. And I did e-mail you. I feel so proud of myself. I hope you thought this chappie was exciting and Ginji is like a kid. .
Melodie: I read you're the idea of the crossover, but I don't like to mix anime really. It's a good idea (though Kagome and Akabane being siblings scare me) but I don't think I will do it. Thanks for the review.
Sadame X: Ojamashimasu! Yay! You think my lame pen name is cool. Yours is cooler. A novel fic? Fascinating! I have not played the violin for a long time. For a couple of months. My original and true passion is the flute. I see you have a violin and like it (read profile) and I bet you are really good. The violin is actually really too easy for me. O.O If I had an Amati then that would be amazing. They are either in museums or cost millions. What I wrote about him were facts. I wouldn't mind being your friend though! . Love and Jell-O!
ToffeChew: You are naturally awesome! Thanks. I still need to read your fics.
Yami Neko Tenshi: Um…. I can't thank you or talk about you. You put, "...ouch…" there isn't much I can say to that. So, your review was pretty much ignored by me. Sorry. If you explained what you meant by that then I would be thanking you.