A/N Now that I finally moved past the one chapter I was having such trouble writing, the rest should move much more quickly. At the moment the only slow down is my poor typing skills as the next few chapters are already 90% handwritten.
As soon as I get more feedback on this and the last few chapters I will post some more.
(Yes, that is a not so very subtle attempt to solicit feedback.)
Next chapter has a certain ferret making his appearance.
Again thank you to Laura Kay, petriebird18, Child of the Dawn and Linze for reviewing.
Also if anyone is from England or Scotland I would greatly appreciate a bit of help with some geography for a few later chapters. Please send an email or leave a message of some kind. Mascaret_@hotmail.com (Please note the "_" before the "@")
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Walking into the meeting room, they saw Neville was already there. They sat by him in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes.
Harry looked around the room. They weren't the only ones already waiting in the room. He hadn't realized hanging outside the meeting room last summer, just how many people were in the Order of the Phoenix.
This year, Hagrid was around to attend the meetings. He was just entering the room with Madame Maxime. He waved to Harry before trying to find seats for himself and his lady friend in the front.
"Eh budge up 'ould ya. Budge up."
The people seated at the end of the row moved further down to allow the two half giants space. The people now seated behind Hagrid and Madame Maxime could no longer see the podium. Harry smiled as he watched them change seats.
Mr. Ollivander was already seated further down the row behind Hagrid.
Harry's eyes wandered the room until he met the gaze of Amos Diggory. He quickly looked down, his face flushed. When he dared look up again, he was pleased to see Cedric's father was no longer looking intently at him. Now the man's gaze was fixated on the open double doors.
Harry couldn't stand looking into the man's eyes. Since the final event of the TriWizard Tournament, it didn't take a legilimency expert to read the thoughts in his eyes. 'Why my Cedric? Why not Harry Potter?'
"What is it with you two?" asked Ron.
Harry faced Ron. "Oh, I was just surprised. I didn't realize all these people were Order members."
Harry wondered why Neville was starring at Diggory too.
Hermione's voice was low. "Quiet, Harry. Actually, not all of them are. This is the decoy headquarters now."
Harry's confusion was as always obvious.
"Well, with Sirius arriving at the Ministry of Magic with all the other Order members, everyone knows he was working with us. Between that and the Kreacher problem, this place isn't really secure anymore. Fudge and some of the others were invited and a few non-crucial meetings are held here so they think this is still headquarters."
Ron chimed in as well. "Dumbledore hasn't told us where the new headquarters are being set up, but he did say it was going to be in a place where we could still attend some meetings during the school year."
Harry nodded. That made sense. But why was Neville still watching Amos Diggory? Neville's eyes traveled from Mr. Diggory, to the two doors, to his Gran in one of the first rows, and back to Diggory.
What was going on? What was that look on Neville's face?
Harry strained his neck to look out the double doors. What was so interesting out there? A few people were milling in front of them, but that was nothing interesting.
When a door past the people opened, Dumbledore stepped out of the sitting room. Harry didn't see Professor McGonagall leave with him. Professor Dumbledore paused in the hall for a moment to have a word with Lupin before entering the meeting room and being cornered by Minister Fudge.
Once Dumbledore came into the meeting room, the room became crowded as everyone else moved inside to find seats before the meeting started.
Neville's eyes were still on Mr. Diggory.
Amos Diggory's eyes hadn't followed Dumbledore to the meeting room. They were still fixed on the again closed sitting room door. When Diggory rose and began to try to find a route to the double doors through all the people, Neville rose as well.
"I promised my Gran I would sit with her."
Without another word, Neville made his way surprisingly quickly to his Gran's side. More than a few shocked glances went Neville's way as the usually polite young man shoved his way through the milling crowds repeatedly saying "Excuse me."
Neville's grandmother noticed his approach. She gave him a questioning look. Harry watched her meet Neville's eyes. Then Neville looked to Cedric Diggory's dad, still trying to fight the crowds and leave the room.
Neville's Gran's eyes went to Diggory and then followed the natural progression of where his route was taking him. Her eyes widened.
She turned and caught the attention of Alastor Moody's natural eye. A quick motion of her head got Alastor Moody to glance the direction she indicated.
Diggory was obvious to see as he struggled against the flow of the crowd. Moody abruptly broke off from the conversation he was having. His electric blue eye whirled in alarm.
Both Mrs. Longbottom and Moody began to move towards the double doors. Neville didn't follow. He stayed at his Gran's seat with his head down.
Unlike struggling Diggory, Alastor Moody with his most unusual appearance and demeanor was always able to cut through any crowd with ease. Mrs. Longbottom had never been known to suffer fools gladly and the sea of people wordlessly parted for her.
Harry watched as both caught up with Mr. Diggory before he could reach the sitting room door. Harry stood up and headed over as well. He paused just past the double doors. It wasn't curiosity that got to him this time. This time it was fear. What was that light in the eyes of Cedric Diggory's dad?
Alastor Moody took up his earlier sentry position outside the door. He had both eyes on the other man. His voice was trying to be emotionless. "Meeting's in that room, Diggory. You have no business in this room."
For a second, Harry actually thought Diggory was reaching for his wand. He thought the man was going to pull out his wand and fight Moody right there. Then Neville's Gran spoke.
"She hasn't done anything, Amos. You know she hasn't done anything wrong."
Harry had never before heard so much anguish, hatred, pain, love, sorrow, and desperation in one voice as he did now when Amos Diggory spoke.
"Does it matter? Does it really matter?"
"You know it does, Amos." Mrs. Longbottom's voice came pretty close, Harry realized.
"Cedric never did anything wrong."
There were tears in both their eyes now.
"No, Amos." She agreed. "Cedric never did anything wrong either."
"But that didn't stop him from hurting my Cedric."
"Amos, he is a monster. You are not a monster. Don't let this make you into something you are not."
"It hurts so much. And it doesn't stop. It never stops." Amos Diggory's tears weren't restricted to just his eyes anymore. "I want him to hurt too."
"I know Amos. Believe me, I know. Better than anyone else, what you are feeling right now. And I also know doing this won't make it stop hurting."
"No, but at least then, he would hurt too." Harry could still see that light in Diggory's eyes. "He would know what all the rest of us have to live with day after day. He would feel the pain, the loss of someone he loves. It would matter to him, you know it would!"
"And you would be a monster, Amos. Just like him. Is that what Cedric would have wanted? You know it isn't. Cedric was a good boy. He wouldn't want you to do this."
"No, he wouldn't." agreed Mr. Diggory.
Harry watched in horror as Cedric Diggory's father's body racked with sobs. Harry backed into the shadows to avoid being noticed. The light was finally gone from Diggory's eyes. Mrs. Longbottom tried to put a comforting hand on him, but he shrugged it off. After a few minutes, he began to settle down.
"Let's go back in the meeting, Amos."
Diggory shook his head and instead walked out of the door into the early morning light.
Mrs. Longbottom looked at Moody. Moody's natural eye met her, but the magical one was still following Diggory's progress down the street.
"I'm going to stay here a little longer. You can go back into the meeting now, he won't be back tonight."
Mrs. Longbottom padded Moody on the arm. "Redemption is hard. I just wish Michael had…" Her voice trailed off and she headed back into the meeting.
Moody had noticed Harry by the doors. "Shows supposed to be inside, Potter. Not out here. Nice to know after all the fuss you kids put up last year about wanting to come to meetings that you are taking advantage of the chance now."
When Harry made no attempt to leave, Moody continued speaking. "Careful what you wish for Potter. Should you ever get it, you may find you don't want it after all."
The door beside Moody opened and Lupin stepped out before carefully closing the door behind him. Harry had never noticed him slip in after talking to Dumbledore.
Lupin eyed Moody questioningly for a moment before noticing Harry in the shadows.
"Meeting has started, Harry. Let's try to find some seats."
Harry allowed Lupin to gently steer him back into the meeting.
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Remus quietly entered the room after Dumbledore left. Stopping at the bed, he stroked the still raven hair spilling across the pillow. Gray had begun to invade his own temples years ago, but still her hair remained constant. Minerva's eyes flew open immediately. The calm provided by the room's just departed occupant never wavered in her eyes. The dent in the cover, where another form had lain beside her was still visible.
"Remus."
He smiled at her. "I swear you have sense of touch in your hair. Didn't anyone tell you, you're supposed to be asleep?"
Minerva gave him a half smile. "I am not really tired. Just a little drained, but not even really. More I just wanted to be away from the others for a bit."
"Would you like me to leave?" He asked.
"No, you are fine. I want to thank you for everything."
Still that half smile. Remus took it and he was grateful for it. He knew, he had always known, her real smile, the smile that lit up her eyes was reserved for the man who had just left the room.
He gazed down at her another moment, twirling the ends of her hair between his fingers. "Why didn't you ever talk to Malone, explain things to him?"
Her voice was slightly harsh, but he knew it wasn't directed at him. "I have never been in the habit of explaining myself. Not to anyone."
"Not to anyone." He quoted amused.
She smiled again. This time there was light in her eyes. "Alright, maybe there is one person I feel the need to explain myself to."
Remus glanced at the empty mark on the very pillow her head still lay."
She shook her head. "No, not even to the great and powerful wizard of Hogwarts. He has long since learned to accept me without question."
Remus smiled again as he realized perhaps, there was just one other with a full claim on her heart and smile. Even if that person wasn't him, it was still nice to know.
She changed the topic a bit. Her voice was soft and caring. "You know it was Albus's idea to hire you Harry's third year. I had nothing to do with it. He thought it would be good for Harry to know you. Not to mention you were more qualified than anyone who actually applied. Albus was very…" She paused for a moment, "betrayed, when he first found out. And for a long time afterwards, he could not bare to look at me, never mind touch me. But he came to understand and accept what you and I meant to each other."
"He forgave you."
Minerva shook her head. "No, forgiving implies we did something wrong." She reached up and touched his face. "I absolutely refuse to believe we have any need for forgiveness."
Remus turned his face to kiss the palm of her hand. "It was the happiest summer of my life."
Now her voice was just sad. "And that is something Malone will never understand. He is just too much his father's son."
It was Remus's turn to shake his head now. "But if you told him the truth -"
Minerva interrupted him firmly. "Remus, the truth is whatever people happen to believe on a particular day. I have long since lost the desire to strip anyone of their illusions."
"Minerva, you know that's not really the truth - "
"Remus, there have been so many things that have happened in my life. Sometimes, I wonder if even I know what the truth really is anymore." A mischievous glint appeared in her eyes. "Besides, Malone already clearly demonstrated he could not keep a secret."
Remus wasn't sure if he should sigh or chuckle. Either way, there was no point in arguing. The woman beside him was older and wiser than him, and even if she wasn't, there was no power he could wield that would change her mind.
"I think Tonks is rather fond of you."
Remus nodded. "Since Sirius's death, we've been a comfort for each other."
She half smiled again. "I am happy for you. Despite what happened earlier, she seems very nice. You deserve very much to be happy. Do not ever forget that Remus."
Remus couldn't help but smile back. It was the effect she had on him. He knew she was sincerely happy for him. And yet, he knew, that she knew, that he would leave Tonks at a word, at a glance from her. But just in case, he would say it aloud.
"You do know, I -:
"Remus," she cut him off. This woman, who knew him so well. The school teacher firmness was back in her voice. "You know I have a very firm policy against dating former students."
Perhaps it was the subtle emphasis on the word former that only he would notice or maybe, it was the twitch of her lips trying desperately not to smile after saying it. Whatever it was, he couldn't help but grin. No doubt, that was the effect she planned for.
Covering her lips with a chaste kiss, he paused to smooth back the hair he had been playing with before he left the room.
Back in his seat with the others, Harry was watching a string of drool find its way from the corner of Ron's mouth down onto his hand where it pooled.
The most exciting part of the meeting, so far was the first time Hermione noticed Ron was sleeping and hit him. Ron was so startled, he fell out of his seat and banged his head on the row in front of him. Apparently, Ron hadn't learned his lesson yet.
The meetings seemed a lot more fun and exciting last year, trying to listen from the outside.
He never realized before how many mundane details there were and just how mundane they were. Moody and Professor McGonagall had the right idea skipping all this.
Harry craned his neck around again to see out the double doors. The sitting room door was open and there was no sign of Moody. Harry looked around the room for someone to tell and noticed Moody was back in his earlier seat. He must have missed that while watching Ron's drooling.
Harry scanned the rows of people in front of him looking for the familiar black bun. It wasn't there, but what was Mr. Ollivander doing?
The old wand shop owner was trying to get Mr. and Mrs. Weasley to separate so he could sit between them. The man's standing was beginning to cause a distraction so with an odd look, Mr. Weasley exchanged seats with Mr. Ollivander.
Now, instead of paying attention to Albus Dumbledore, Ollivander was staring at the hair of the woman he had arranged to sit behind. As Ollivander reached a hand out and stroked the long black tresses, their owner whirled around to give him a scathing look. Harry realized Professor McGonagall wasn't wearing her usual hairstyle.
Ollivander looked down contritely, but as soon as Professor McGonagall turned forward, Ollivander again raised his hand. This time, he quickly twined a few strands around his fingers and yanked.
When Professor McGonagall tuned around again, there was no scathing look. Instead, there was a loud hiss and a protracted claw. Several lines of blood appeared on Ollivander's cheek, right below his eye.
The few people who hadn't yet taken notice of what was going on, definitely took notice when with a great puff of smoke, the hairs still around Ollivander's fingers caught fire. Ollivander quickly dropped the burning hairs and stamped out the fire with his cloak.
After another hiss, the people in feline Professor McGonagall's row leaned forward as she strolled across their chair backs until she reached Hagrid. She sat primly on one of his overly large knees licking Ollivander's blood from her paw.
Hagrid seemed not at all unsettled and began to stroke her fur. Madame Maxime raised an eyebrow at first, but after a moment, with encouragement from Hagrid, she began to scratch behind Professor McGonagall's ears. Professor McGonagall leaned into the other woman's touch for a moment before settling into a more comfortable position.
Harry couldn't help but laugh in wonder at what had just occurred.
Dumbledore took a moment to fix a frown at Ollivander before beginning to speak again.
Mad-Eye Moody called out in a low growl that still managed to reach the whole room. "Careful there Ollivander. That one will claw your eye out."
Moody gave an odd laugh that no one joined in on.
Harry started to laugh with Moody, but stopped. He hadn't had a chance yet to tell Moody what had happened with Bellatrix Lestrange. And why had Moody said eye, not eyes?
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When the meeting finally ended, Harry was glad it was over. Given the unusual hour the meeting had taken place, most people left quickly. A few people remained clustered in small groups.
He saw Professor McGonagall by the door. After all that had happened, he wanted to say something to her, but he wasn't sure what. He didn't want to interrupt the conversation she was having, so he moved closer and waited.
Professor McGonagall looked highly affronted. "Really Arabella, I have never had fleas. Not ever. So you will need to seek out advice for your cat's problem elsewhere."
"Harry, may I speak to you for a moment?"
He turned around to face Professor Dumbledore. He nodded to the older man. "That was an interesting discussion tonight, sir."
"Do you really think so? I dare say Mr. Ronald Weasley seemed a little less than enthused."
Harry couldn't have held back his smile even if he wanted to. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled in response.
"Unless you object, Harry, you will be staying here today with the Weasleys, Longbottoms, and Miss Lovegood. All of you will be traveling together to the Wizengot tomorrow.
You are somewhat familiar with the Wizengot, I'm sure after seeing several of my experiences there and having your own trial last summer. This trial is merely a formality. Your own testimony will be quite brief and painless, if it is even needed. Arthur Weasley as well as several of the Weasley children will be there with you for support should you need it."
Harry's voice was more hesitant and pleading than he wanted it. "Will you be there?"
Professor Dumbledore nodded. "I have been reinvited to sit on the Wizengot Council so I will not be seated with the rest of you, but I will be there should you need anything."
Harry found this answer acceptable and he could tell Dumbledore was pleased that he wanted him there.
"After the Wizengot is finished, you have a few decisions you will need to make."
Harry waited expectantly.
"Your godfather left this house to you. If you no longer wish meetings to take place here, you need only say so."
Harry shook his head. "I don't mind."
Dumbledore nodded. "You are not yet of age, so you can not be allowed to remain here alone. However, if you do wish to spend the summer here, Remus Lupin or some of the other Order members can remain with you. Alternatively, Molly and Arthur Weasley have requested your presence at the Burrow. You are also welcome to return early to Hogwarts, but I fear you might feel a bit cut off from the rest of the world there. Take your time. There is no need to come to a decision tonight."
Harry didn't need to think long to make a decision. "I'd like to go to the Burrow with Ron and his family. But…will it be safe, for them?"
Professor Dumbledore replied honestly. "Harry in these times in which we live, safety is not always in comfortable supply. Even without your presence at the Burrow, Voldemort and his supporters may decide the Weasleys are a threat. With you there, the chance of danger for them may increase, but it will also increase the amount of security around them. More extensive protective wards will be put around the Burrow and aurors will patrol the perimeter of their property."
Harry considered Dumbledore's words for a minute before responding. "I'd like to speak to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley first, but I think I'd like to stay with them."
Dumbledore nodded. "The final matter you need to consider is your occlumency lessons. It is still very necessary for you to master that skill. I have spoken with Professor Snape."
Dumbledore held up a hand to stop Harry from interrupting. "He has agreed to begin your lessons again. If you prefer, I can give you lessons myself. I know neither option may be appealing to you, but it is imperative that you continue your lessons as soon as possible."
Remembering the things Snape had revealed only a few hours earlier, Harry needed no time at all to decide this question. "I want you to do it, sir."
Dumbledore nodded. "Tomorrow will be a busy and exhausting day for you, I am sure. We can begin the following afternoon. I imagine the Burrow will not be the most conducive place for clearing your mind. I will arrange a portkey to take you to Hogwarts and leave it with Arthur.
Harry nodded.
"I shall see you tomorrow then, Harry."
When Harry made no move to go upstairs, Professor Dumbledore inquired. "Was there anything else you needed?"
Harry looked at him confused for a moment. "Oh, no sir. I just wanted to talk to Professor McGonagall a minute."
Dumbledore smiled and stepped aside. "Of course."
Professor McGonagall had finally managed to rid herself of Arabella Figg and was waiting by the door for Professor Dumbledore. When Harry approached, she turned away from her examination of the curtains around Mrs. Black's portrait to look at him.
Harry still wasn't sure what it was he wanted to say to Professor McGonagall. He knew he needed to say something, to express his gratitude to her, to make sure she was alright.
He looked into her eyes as he tried to find the words to express all the things he wanted to say. If the eyes were supposed to be the windows to the soul, he doubted anyone could ever look in her eyes and still think she lacked a soul. Her eyes were so expressive, so comforting and understanding he began to believe his words weren't necessary. She already knew what he wanted to say.
When she interrupted his sputtering, he almost didn't quite understand what she said. It took him by such surprise.
"Professor McGonagall. I just wanted to tell you…well I wanted…I wanted to say how much-"
"Potter have you started your Transfiguration essays yet?"
"What? Umm, no, I haven't."
The look in her eyes and the comforting hand she put on his shoulder for just a moment didn't match at all with her stern voice and words. "Well you should, Potter. You do know they aren't going to write themselves."
Harry couldn't help but match Professor Dumbledore's smile as Professor McGonagall turned and took the arm he offered her. Harry watched as arm-in-arm, the two Professors walked out the door.
As soon as I get more feedback on this and the last few chapters I will post some more.
(Yes, that is a not so very subtle attempt to solicit feedback.)
Next chapter has a certain ferret making his appearance.
Again thank you to Laura Kay, petriebird18, Child of the Dawn and Linze for reviewing.
Also if anyone is from England or Scotland I would greatly appreciate a bit of help with some geography for a few later chapters. Please send an email or leave a message of some kind. Mascaret_@hotmail.com (Please note the "_" before the "@")
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Walking into the meeting room, they saw Neville was already there. They sat by him in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes.
Harry looked around the room. They weren't the only ones already waiting in the room. He hadn't realized hanging outside the meeting room last summer, just how many people were in the Order of the Phoenix.
This year, Hagrid was around to attend the meetings. He was just entering the room with Madame Maxime. He waved to Harry before trying to find seats for himself and his lady friend in the front.
"Eh budge up 'ould ya. Budge up."
The people seated at the end of the row moved further down to allow the two half giants space. The people now seated behind Hagrid and Madame Maxime could no longer see the podium. Harry smiled as he watched them change seats.
Mr. Ollivander was already seated further down the row behind Hagrid.
Harry's eyes wandered the room until he met the gaze of Amos Diggory. He quickly looked down, his face flushed. When he dared look up again, he was pleased to see Cedric's father was no longer looking intently at him. Now the man's gaze was fixated on the open double doors.
Harry couldn't stand looking into the man's eyes. Since the final event of the TriWizard Tournament, it didn't take a legilimency expert to read the thoughts in his eyes. 'Why my Cedric? Why not Harry Potter?'
"What is it with you two?" asked Ron.
Harry faced Ron. "Oh, I was just surprised. I didn't realize all these people were Order members."
Harry wondered why Neville was starring at Diggory too.
Hermione's voice was low. "Quiet, Harry. Actually, not all of them are. This is the decoy headquarters now."
Harry's confusion was as always obvious.
"Well, with Sirius arriving at the Ministry of Magic with all the other Order members, everyone knows he was working with us. Between that and the Kreacher problem, this place isn't really secure anymore. Fudge and some of the others were invited and a few non-crucial meetings are held here so they think this is still headquarters."
Ron chimed in as well. "Dumbledore hasn't told us where the new headquarters are being set up, but he did say it was going to be in a place where we could still attend some meetings during the school year."
Harry nodded. That made sense. But why was Neville still watching Amos Diggory? Neville's eyes traveled from Mr. Diggory, to the two doors, to his Gran in one of the first rows, and back to Diggory.
What was going on? What was that look on Neville's face?
Harry strained his neck to look out the double doors. What was so interesting out there? A few people were milling in front of them, but that was nothing interesting.
When a door past the people opened, Dumbledore stepped out of the sitting room. Harry didn't see Professor McGonagall leave with him. Professor Dumbledore paused in the hall for a moment to have a word with Lupin before entering the meeting room and being cornered by Minister Fudge.
Once Dumbledore came into the meeting room, the room became crowded as everyone else moved inside to find seats before the meeting started.
Neville's eyes were still on Mr. Diggory.
Amos Diggory's eyes hadn't followed Dumbledore to the meeting room. They were still fixed on the again closed sitting room door. When Diggory rose and began to try to find a route to the double doors through all the people, Neville rose as well.
"I promised my Gran I would sit with her."
Without another word, Neville made his way surprisingly quickly to his Gran's side. More than a few shocked glances went Neville's way as the usually polite young man shoved his way through the milling crowds repeatedly saying "Excuse me."
Neville's grandmother noticed his approach. She gave him a questioning look. Harry watched her meet Neville's eyes. Then Neville looked to Cedric Diggory's dad, still trying to fight the crowds and leave the room.
Neville's Gran's eyes went to Diggory and then followed the natural progression of where his route was taking him. Her eyes widened.
She turned and caught the attention of Alastor Moody's natural eye. A quick motion of her head got Alastor Moody to glance the direction she indicated.
Diggory was obvious to see as he struggled against the flow of the crowd. Moody abruptly broke off from the conversation he was having. His electric blue eye whirled in alarm.
Both Mrs. Longbottom and Moody began to move towards the double doors. Neville didn't follow. He stayed at his Gran's seat with his head down.
Unlike struggling Diggory, Alastor Moody with his most unusual appearance and demeanor was always able to cut through any crowd with ease. Mrs. Longbottom had never been known to suffer fools gladly and the sea of people wordlessly parted for her.
Harry watched as both caught up with Mr. Diggory before he could reach the sitting room door. Harry stood up and headed over as well. He paused just past the double doors. It wasn't curiosity that got to him this time. This time it was fear. What was that light in the eyes of Cedric Diggory's dad?
Alastor Moody took up his earlier sentry position outside the door. He had both eyes on the other man. His voice was trying to be emotionless. "Meeting's in that room, Diggory. You have no business in this room."
For a second, Harry actually thought Diggory was reaching for his wand. He thought the man was going to pull out his wand and fight Moody right there. Then Neville's Gran spoke.
"She hasn't done anything, Amos. You know she hasn't done anything wrong."
Harry had never before heard so much anguish, hatred, pain, love, sorrow, and desperation in one voice as he did now when Amos Diggory spoke.
"Does it matter? Does it really matter?"
"You know it does, Amos." Mrs. Longbottom's voice came pretty close, Harry realized.
"Cedric never did anything wrong."
There were tears in both their eyes now.
"No, Amos." She agreed. "Cedric never did anything wrong either."
"But that didn't stop him from hurting my Cedric."
"Amos, he is a monster. You are not a monster. Don't let this make you into something you are not."
"It hurts so much. And it doesn't stop. It never stops." Amos Diggory's tears weren't restricted to just his eyes anymore. "I want him to hurt too."
"I know Amos. Believe me, I know. Better than anyone else, what you are feeling right now. And I also know doing this won't make it stop hurting."
"No, but at least then, he would hurt too." Harry could still see that light in Diggory's eyes. "He would know what all the rest of us have to live with day after day. He would feel the pain, the loss of someone he loves. It would matter to him, you know it would!"
"And you would be a monster, Amos. Just like him. Is that what Cedric would have wanted? You know it isn't. Cedric was a good boy. He wouldn't want you to do this."
"No, he wouldn't." agreed Mr. Diggory.
Harry watched in horror as Cedric Diggory's father's body racked with sobs. Harry backed into the shadows to avoid being noticed. The light was finally gone from Diggory's eyes. Mrs. Longbottom tried to put a comforting hand on him, but he shrugged it off. After a few minutes, he began to settle down.
"Let's go back in the meeting, Amos."
Diggory shook his head and instead walked out of the door into the early morning light.
Mrs. Longbottom looked at Moody. Moody's natural eye met her, but the magical one was still following Diggory's progress down the street.
"I'm going to stay here a little longer. You can go back into the meeting now, he won't be back tonight."
Mrs. Longbottom padded Moody on the arm. "Redemption is hard. I just wish Michael had…" Her voice trailed off and she headed back into the meeting.
Moody had noticed Harry by the doors. "Shows supposed to be inside, Potter. Not out here. Nice to know after all the fuss you kids put up last year about wanting to come to meetings that you are taking advantage of the chance now."
When Harry made no attempt to leave, Moody continued speaking. "Careful what you wish for Potter. Should you ever get it, you may find you don't want it after all."
The door beside Moody opened and Lupin stepped out before carefully closing the door behind him. Harry had never noticed him slip in after talking to Dumbledore.
Lupin eyed Moody questioningly for a moment before noticing Harry in the shadows.
"Meeting has started, Harry. Let's try to find some seats."
Harry allowed Lupin to gently steer him back into the meeting.
***********************
Remus quietly entered the room after Dumbledore left. Stopping at the bed, he stroked the still raven hair spilling across the pillow. Gray had begun to invade his own temples years ago, but still her hair remained constant. Minerva's eyes flew open immediately. The calm provided by the room's just departed occupant never wavered in her eyes. The dent in the cover, where another form had lain beside her was still visible.
"Remus."
He smiled at her. "I swear you have sense of touch in your hair. Didn't anyone tell you, you're supposed to be asleep?"
Minerva gave him a half smile. "I am not really tired. Just a little drained, but not even really. More I just wanted to be away from the others for a bit."
"Would you like me to leave?" He asked.
"No, you are fine. I want to thank you for everything."
Still that half smile. Remus took it and he was grateful for it. He knew, he had always known, her real smile, the smile that lit up her eyes was reserved for the man who had just left the room.
He gazed down at her another moment, twirling the ends of her hair between his fingers. "Why didn't you ever talk to Malone, explain things to him?"
Her voice was slightly harsh, but he knew it wasn't directed at him. "I have never been in the habit of explaining myself. Not to anyone."
"Not to anyone." He quoted amused.
She smiled again. This time there was light in her eyes. "Alright, maybe there is one person I feel the need to explain myself to."
Remus glanced at the empty mark on the very pillow her head still lay."
She shook her head. "No, not even to the great and powerful wizard of Hogwarts. He has long since learned to accept me without question."
Remus smiled again as he realized perhaps, there was just one other with a full claim on her heart and smile. Even if that person wasn't him, it was still nice to know.
She changed the topic a bit. Her voice was soft and caring. "You know it was Albus's idea to hire you Harry's third year. I had nothing to do with it. He thought it would be good for Harry to know you. Not to mention you were more qualified than anyone who actually applied. Albus was very…" She paused for a moment, "betrayed, when he first found out. And for a long time afterwards, he could not bare to look at me, never mind touch me. But he came to understand and accept what you and I meant to each other."
"He forgave you."
Minerva shook her head. "No, forgiving implies we did something wrong." She reached up and touched his face. "I absolutely refuse to believe we have any need for forgiveness."
Remus turned his face to kiss the palm of her hand. "It was the happiest summer of my life."
Now her voice was just sad. "And that is something Malone will never understand. He is just too much his father's son."
It was Remus's turn to shake his head now. "But if you told him the truth -"
Minerva interrupted him firmly. "Remus, the truth is whatever people happen to believe on a particular day. I have long since lost the desire to strip anyone of their illusions."
"Minerva, you know that's not really the truth - "
"Remus, there have been so many things that have happened in my life. Sometimes, I wonder if even I know what the truth really is anymore." A mischievous glint appeared in her eyes. "Besides, Malone already clearly demonstrated he could not keep a secret."
Remus wasn't sure if he should sigh or chuckle. Either way, there was no point in arguing. The woman beside him was older and wiser than him, and even if she wasn't, there was no power he could wield that would change her mind.
"I think Tonks is rather fond of you."
Remus nodded. "Since Sirius's death, we've been a comfort for each other."
She half smiled again. "I am happy for you. Despite what happened earlier, she seems very nice. You deserve very much to be happy. Do not ever forget that Remus."
Remus couldn't help but smile back. It was the effect she had on him. He knew she was sincerely happy for him. And yet, he knew, that she knew, that he would leave Tonks at a word, at a glance from her. But just in case, he would say it aloud.
"You do know, I -:
"Remus," she cut him off. This woman, who knew him so well. The school teacher firmness was back in her voice. "You know I have a very firm policy against dating former students."
Perhaps it was the subtle emphasis on the word former that only he would notice or maybe, it was the twitch of her lips trying desperately not to smile after saying it. Whatever it was, he couldn't help but grin. No doubt, that was the effect she planned for.
Covering her lips with a chaste kiss, he paused to smooth back the hair he had been playing with before he left the room.
Back in his seat with the others, Harry was watching a string of drool find its way from the corner of Ron's mouth down onto his hand where it pooled.
The most exciting part of the meeting, so far was the first time Hermione noticed Ron was sleeping and hit him. Ron was so startled, he fell out of his seat and banged his head on the row in front of him. Apparently, Ron hadn't learned his lesson yet.
The meetings seemed a lot more fun and exciting last year, trying to listen from the outside.
He never realized before how many mundane details there were and just how mundane they were. Moody and Professor McGonagall had the right idea skipping all this.
Harry craned his neck around again to see out the double doors. The sitting room door was open and there was no sign of Moody. Harry looked around the room for someone to tell and noticed Moody was back in his earlier seat. He must have missed that while watching Ron's drooling.
Harry scanned the rows of people in front of him looking for the familiar black bun. It wasn't there, but what was Mr. Ollivander doing?
The old wand shop owner was trying to get Mr. and Mrs. Weasley to separate so he could sit between them. The man's standing was beginning to cause a distraction so with an odd look, Mr. Weasley exchanged seats with Mr. Ollivander.
Now, instead of paying attention to Albus Dumbledore, Ollivander was staring at the hair of the woman he had arranged to sit behind. As Ollivander reached a hand out and stroked the long black tresses, their owner whirled around to give him a scathing look. Harry realized Professor McGonagall wasn't wearing her usual hairstyle.
Ollivander looked down contritely, but as soon as Professor McGonagall turned forward, Ollivander again raised his hand. This time, he quickly twined a few strands around his fingers and yanked.
When Professor McGonagall tuned around again, there was no scathing look. Instead, there was a loud hiss and a protracted claw. Several lines of blood appeared on Ollivander's cheek, right below his eye.
The few people who hadn't yet taken notice of what was going on, definitely took notice when with a great puff of smoke, the hairs still around Ollivander's fingers caught fire. Ollivander quickly dropped the burning hairs and stamped out the fire with his cloak.
After another hiss, the people in feline Professor McGonagall's row leaned forward as she strolled across their chair backs until she reached Hagrid. She sat primly on one of his overly large knees licking Ollivander's blood from her paw.
Hagrid seemed not at all unsettled and began to stroke her fur. Madame Maxime raised an eyebrow at first, but after a moment, with encouragement from Hagrid, she began to scratch behind Professor McGonagall's ears. Professor McGonagall leaned into the other woman's touch for a moment before settling into a more comfortable position.
Harry couldn't help but laugh in wonder at what had just occurred.
Dumbledore took a moment to fix a frown at Ollivander before beginning to speak again.
Mad-Eye Moody called out in a low growl that still managed to reach the whole room. "Careful there Ollivander. That one will claw your eye out."
Moody gave an odd laugh that no one joined in on.
Harry started to laugh with Moody, but stopped. He hadn't had a chance yet to tell Moody what had happened with Bellatrix Lestrange. And why had Moody said eye, not eyes?
******************************
When the meeting finally ended, Harry was glad it was over. Given the unusual hour the meeting had taken place, most people left quickly. A few people remained clustered in small groups.
He saw Professor McGonagall by the door. After all that had happened, he wanted to say something to her, but he wasn't sure what. He didn't want to interrupt the conversation she was having, so he moved closer and waited.
Professor McGonagall looked highly affronted. "Really Arabella, I have never had fleas. Not ever. So you will need to seek out advice for your cat's problem elsewhere."
"Harry, may I speak to you for a moment?"
He turned around to face Professor Dumbledore. He nodded to the older man. "That was an interesting discussion tonight, sir."
"Do you really think so? I dare say Mr. Ronald Weasley seemed a little less than enthused."
Harry couldn't have held back his smile even if he wanted to. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled in response.
"Unless you object, Harry, you will be staying here today with the Weasleys, Longbottoms, and Miss Lovegood. All of you will be traveling together to the Wizengot tomorrow.
You are somewhat familiar with the Wizengot, I'm sure after seeing several of my experiences there and having your own trial last summer. This trial is merely a formality. Your own testimony will be quite brief and painless, if it is even needed. Arthur Weasley as well as several of the Weasley children will be there with you for support should you need it."
Harry's voice was more hesitant and pleading than he wanted it. "Will you be there?"
Professor Dumbledore nodded. "I have been reinvited to sit on the Wizengot Council so I will not be seated with the rest of you, but I will be there should you need anything."
Harry found this answer acceptable and he could tell Dumbledore was pleased that he wanted him there.
"After the Wizengot is finished, you have a few decisions you will need to make."
Harry waited expectantly.
"Your godfather left this house to you. If you no longer wish meetings to take place here, you need only say so."
Harry shook his head. "I don't mind."
Dumbledore nodded. "You are not yet of age, so you can not be allowed to remain here alone. However, if you do wish to spend the summer here, Remus Lupin or some of the other Order members can remain with you. Alternatively, Molly and Arthur Weasley have requested your presence at the Burrow. You are also welcome to return early to Hogwarts, but I fear you might feel a bit cut off from the rest of the world there. Take your time. There is no need to come to a decision tonight."
Harry didn't need to think long to make a decision. "I'd like to go to the Burrow with Ron and his family. But…will it be safe, for them?"
Professor Dumbledore replied honestly. "Harry in these times in which we live, safety is not always in comfortable supply. Even without your presence at the Burrow, Voldemort and his supporters may decide the Weasleys are a threat. With you there, the chance of danger for them may increase, but it will also increase the amount of security around them. More extensive protective wards will be put around the Burrow and aurors will patrol the perimeter of their property."
Harry considered Dumbledore's words for a minute before responding. "I'd like to speak to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley first, but I think I'd like to stay with them."
Dumbledore nodded. "The final matter you need to consider is your occlumency lessons. It is still very necessary for you to master that skill. I have spoken with Professor Snape."
Dumbledore held up a hand to stop Harry from interrupting. "He has agreed to begin your lessons again. If you prefer, I can give you lessons myself. I know neither option may be appealing to you, but it is imperative that you continue your lessons as soon as possible."
Remembering the things Snape had revealed only a few hours earlier, Harry needed no time at all to decide this question. "I want you to do it, sir."
Dumbledore nodded. "Tomorrow will be a busy and exhausting day for you, I am sure. We can begin the following afternoon. I imagine the Burrow will not be the most conducive place for clearing your mind. I will arrange a portkey to take you to Hogwarts and leave it with Arthur.
Harry nodded.
"I shall see you tomorrow then, Harry."
When Harry made no move to go upstairs, Professor Dumbledore inquired. "Was there anything else you needed?"
Harry looked at him confused for a moment. "Oh, no sir. I just wanted to talk to Professor McGonagall a minute."
Dumbledore smiled and stepped aside. "Of course."
Professor McGonagall had finally managed to rid herself of Arabella Figg and was waiting by the door for Professor Dumbledore. When Harry approached, she turned away from her examination of the curtains around Mrs. Black's portrait to look at him.
Harry still wasn't sure what it was he wanted to say to Professor McGonagall. He knew he needed to say something, to express his gratitude to her, to make sure she was alright.
He looked into her eyes as he tried to find the words to express all the things he wanted to say. If the eyes were supposed to be the windows to the soul, he doubted anyone could ever look in her eyes and still think she lacked a soul. Her eyes were so expressive, so comforting and understanding he began to believe his words weren't necessary. She already knew what he wanted to say.
When she interrupted his sputtering, he almost didn't quite understand what she said. It took him by such surprise.
"Professor McGonagall. I just wanted to tell you…well I wanted…I wanted to say how much-"
"Potter have you started your Transfiguration essays yet?"
"What? Umm, no, I haven't."
The look in her eyes and the comforting hand she put on his shoulder for just a moment didn't match at all with her stern voice and words. "Well you should, Potter. You do know they aren't going to write themselves."
Harry couldn't help but match Professor Dumbledore's smile as Professor McGonagall turned and took the arm he offered her. Harry watched as arm-in-arm, the two Professors walked out the door.