Chapter 3

That night Kerry once again fought to sleep. Kim's bruised face and sincere look when she told her she missed her too haunted Kerry. For a brief moment Kerry drifted off into sleep, dreaming of the trauma room and Kim lying there. It was a surreal fantasy. Kerry felt herself walking forwards, pushing Lori to the side, and approaching Kim. She saw herself leaning forward, kissing Kim's bruises and watching them disappear while Kim smiled at her. Soon Kim was better and she got up and began undressing Kerry, touching her.

Kerry was quickly jolted from her dream. She felt herself shake as she came to her senses. Turning in bed she found the spot beside her empty. No Kim in sight. She wondered if Kim was up in the ER and furthermore, she wondered if Lori had stayed the night with her. She sure hoped not. Crawling out of bed, Kerry rummaged through her drawers, coming across a crinkled shirt she had pushed to the back.

It had been Kim's. Kim had left some of her clothes at Kerry's place and she hadn't been around to pick them up. It wasn't as if Kim needed them anyway, her closet was packed full of clothes.

Kerry held the shirt to her, taking in Kim's aroma which lingered in the shirt's fabric.

Kerry knew she had to see Kim. She couldn't take another night without her. But she was also afraid of rejection, especially with Kim having a new girlfriend.

But Kerry had to see her, touch her, know that she was close by. Just knowing she was in the ER gave Kerry a strange, twisted comfort.

Kerry threw on some clothes, pulled on her coat and then headed out, on her way to the hospital. Even if Lori was still there she could still watch from afar. Heading out in to the cold winter night, Kerry pulled her coat tighter around herself. She was so tired; she didn't know why she was doing this, but she felt she needed to see her.

Kerry got in to her car and pulled out, heading to County General. Once she arrived she went inside. Several nurses looked at her strangely, knowing that Dr. Weaver wasn't supposed to be here at this late hour. Abby approached her first.

"Dr. Weaver, what are you doing here?" Abby asked, looking completely exhausted.

"I…um…" Kerry couldn't lie anymore. "I'm here to see Kim."

"Right now?" Abby's voice and expression were filled with disbelief.

Kerry nodded. "Do you know if that other woman who was with her left?"

"Oh, Lori. Yeah, I think she left a few hours ago. They got in to some big fight over something and Lori just stomped out." This information somehow relieved Kerry.

Nodding, Kerry thanked Abby before heading to the board where she located Kim. She found that the doctor's had given her her own private room. Kerry smiled, glad that Carter had been so considerate. She went off in the direction of the room, and as she approached it, she peered in to see if Kim was asleep. To her surprise she was not.

Kim was looking towards the wall, just staring at it. She looked like she was in pain. Kerry needed to get to her. She placed her hand on the knob, turning it slowly. The door clicked open and Kim didn't even turn at the sound. Kerry figured that Kim probably thought it was a nurse. She stepped in and closed the door behind her, then stood in the doorway, not sure what to do next.

Kim seemed to notice that whoever was at the door wasn't moving so she took a deep breath and turned, ready to ask the nurse what she was doing, but then stopped when she realized it was Kerry.

"Kerry, why are you…"

Kerry looked down and then approached Kim. Leaning down she planted a kiss firmly on Kim's lips, careful not to hurt her.

For a moment, after they parted, they stared at one another.

"What are you doing?" Kim asked, sounding a bit confused.

"I couldn't sleep." Kerry pulled up a seat beside Kim and took Kim's hand in her own. Kim allowed her to do so, but she was still skeptical as to what was happening.

"So you came here to see me?" Kim frowned, straining her neck to look at Kerry. God, her neck hurt so bad.

"Yes, I haven't been able to sleep since you left." Kerry admitted, kissing Kim's hand gently.

Kim took a moment to process this. She wasn't sure if she should give in to Kerry, or hold out; playing up the fact she now had a new girlfriend. "Why? Because I'm not there to play your secret lover at night?" Kim asked, looking forwards again.

"No, that's not how I thought of you." Kerry looked up at her, shaking her head no. "Kim, you mean everything to me. I was scared, you have to understand that. I was scared and stupid."

"Stupid," Kim smiled, "yes, stupid." Her voice was calm.

"Kim, please, you have to understand. I couldn't go to sleep tonight because I knew you were right here." Kerry was about to cry, Kim was being so unreceptive.

Kim sighed. "You don't need me Kerry. You're a big girl, you'll move on. You'll have other relationships."

"No!" Kerry practically screamed. "No, I don't want any other relationships! Kim, I want you." The tears were coming now. "I want you." She whispered, feeling defeated. Kerry laid her head against the side of the bed, letting the tears fall, allowing her hand to slip from Kim's grasp.

Kim looked at the red heads forehead and touched the crown of her head, feeling her soft short hair, running her fingers through it. She missed Kerry's hair. In fact she missed Kerry. That's what she and Lori had gotten in to an argument over. Kim was just afraid to admit she missed Kerry. Lori clearly could see it, but Kim refused to do so. But as she watched Kerry break down in front of her, her heart melted, she lost all her barriers and she just wanted to hold Kerry again, be with her.

But in the morning this could be another night. In the morning Lori would return, ready to see if Kim could be discharged. Lori would take her home and feed her breakfast and then watch after her. But what was that? That was just plain everyday boringness. Kim didn't want that. She had to admit she had enjoyed the thrill of being with Kerry, never knowing if Kerry would back out of a conversation if one of the doctors walked by. Their arguments were always followed by the best sex and Kim had to admit she missed being in charge. Lori always had to take over nowadays, and it was so predictable. With Kerry it seemed different every night, maybe it was because she still had to learn the basics. But sometimes Kerry would surprise Kim and take over; doing something that was so wrong, yet felt so good, and the two would collapse laughing after it was over.

She missed that. So why was she being so hard on Kerry?

"When do you think I'll be discharged?" Kim asked, still running her hand through Kerry's short, soft hair.

"Maybe in a day or so." Kerry said without looking up.

"Do you think you could get me out early?" Kim asked, looking hopeful.

Kerry looked up at this query. Why did Kim want to leave before she was supposed to? Did she so desperately want to get back with Lori? "Why?" Kerry asked, almost as if Kim was asking her to go away.

"I don't want to be here." Kim said, and then reached out stroking Kerry's face, "Kerry, I think Lori and I are over. She was a mistake anyway." Kim pressed her lips together. Her lips were really dry.

Kerry suddenly got it. Kim was giving her the second chance she wanted.

"I'll need a doctor to look after me." Kim smiled, looking at Kerry.

Kerry grinned. "Do…do you want to come stay with me?" She laughed, rather relieved.

Kim nodded, "I think it would be best." She ran her tongue across her chapped lips. "My lips are so dry."

Kerry smiled and sat forward, pressing her warm, moist lips to Kim's, their mouths moving together. Just then the door opened and Kim expected Kerry to pull away but she didn't. A nurse came in and stared awkwardly at the scene in front of her. Uncomfortably she began checking Kim's vitals as the kiss deepened, Kerry placing her hands on Kim's cheeks, careful of the bruises. As they parted, Kerry smiled. "I'll talk to Carter and see if I can get you out tonight," it was the next day after all, "and I'll take you home with me after my shift."

"Thank you, Kerry." Kim held on to Kerry's hand and looked, really looked at the poor, tired thing that stood in front of her. "You look worn out, dearie." Kim finally said. "I think you need sleep."

"Well there's no point in going home now. I'm on in less than two hours." Kerry groaned looking up at the clock on the wall. "And you need sleep too. I know you weren't sleeping when I got here."

Kim rolled her eyes and pulled Kerry to her, the best she could as she was very sore. "Rest here." Kim yawned, placing Kerry's head in her lap and stroking her hair. "It's not very comfortable but I don't want you to leave." She lay back and closed her eyes.

"Trust me, I don't want to." Kerry began drifting off into sleep.