Never Forgotten – Chapter Twelve
Logan sat there in a daze looking at the wall that Marie was now behind. He had almost lost her yet again. She had flat lined, and although Hank and Jean were able to get her heart beating again, she had slipped into a coma. They couldn't tell Logan when she would wake up or even if she would at all, and even though he had touched her, tried to heal her, the pull would never come. Hank had said it had something to do with the damn bracelet she wore, and her body being in a coma causing her brain to somehow shut off her skin on it own now, honestly Logan hadn't understood a word either of them had said, except for the part that she could still die and that only time would tell. He rubbed his hand along his chin and then leaned his head back against the wall. All they knew was that basically the longer she stayed in the coma she had slipped into the less hope there was for her to wake up at all. Hank and most of the others had left over an hour ago, leaving Jean to look after Marie and Scott alone with Logan in the waiting room. Logan didn't really notice, all he knew at point was that he needed to be next to Marie, holding her hand, watching her breath, to listen to her heart still beating no matter how faint it maybe. He looked at his watch, it read 5:24 AM, and he stood and walked over to the door, opened it and went inside. Fuck Jean and her you need to wait out side policy, he wanted to be near Marie, and he wasn't waiting her any longer to finish what was suppose to be a quick check up. Looking around he saw Jean standing next to the bed adjusting the something on one the machines now connected to his Marie.
"Logan, I thought I told you to…" she started only to see a look on his face that pretty much told her he wasn't going anywhere, with out him having to say a word. "Fine, you have twenty minutes, ok. Twenty minutes, and no more Logan. She really should be stabilized before anyone is allowed in here at all." She knew she was talking more to herself as she walked out of the room.
"Well, darlin'" He said as he pulled a chair next to the bed and sat down in it. "You realize that this isn't funny anymore right. The whole… uhh… damsel in distress act… it's really getting old Marie…" He said with tears in his already bloodshot eyes. He picked up her hand and caressed it before bringing it to lips and softly placing a lingering kiss on the back of it. "I… I need you to listen to me ok." Logan brushed a strand of hair out of Marie's face and let it linger in her hair as he rubbed his thumb a crossed her temple lightly. He then scooted closer and leaned down so that his head was by hers and whispered in her ear. "You know people say that when you are like this… just barely hanging on… that you get a choice… that you get to decide… weather or not you stay…or…" He paused not able to finish saying the rest out loud. Then placing a kiss on her cheek and then another on her hand before he continued. "Well, I'm not going to ask you to stay Marie… I am telling you… you don't have that choice, you have to stay…I forbid you to leave me… so you can quite trying to make up your mind about what to do, and just go ahead and wake up now… because bottom line… I'm not letting you go." Logan exhausted from the whole ordeal place one last kiss on Marie's hand, leaned his head down upon his chest to listen to the slow, soft, and weak rhythmic sound of her heart. Then he thought about Marie and the night he had first confessed what she had truly meant to him. That had been the only night he had told her he loved her, he was sure she knew but when this was all over he was going to have to make sure to tell her again. The way he looked at it was there was no point in telling someone something they already knew, but now, he knew he needed to tell her again. Logan's eyes started getting heavy as he sat there listening to the soothing beat until finally dozed off and let sleep claim him, his ear still to her chest.
Scott was furious not only with Logan for just walking into Marie's room without permission, but also with Jean for letting him remain there. She had hardly spared him a glance as she walked out of the room and into her office with her clip board. Finally not being able to sit there any longer Scott pulled himself up out of his seat and walked to stand in front of Marie's door. Looking through the widow Scott couldn't help but stare at the man he envied and hated more than anyone or anything, as he sitting next to her, holding her hand, placing kisses on her face. This was crazy, he should be the one in there next to her, getting to stay by her side, hold her hand as he whisper loving words in her ear to come back to him. Hell, she shouldn't even be here at all. If Jean and Logan had never come back, she wouldn't be. We would be upstairs still together, safe and happy. He thought bitterly, and almost immediately cursed himself for such a thought. It wasn't Jean's fault and as much as he hated to admit it, it wasn't Logan either. No, he had lost her because he hadn't believed that their love was strong enough to survive Jean's return. Because he had realized to late that even though his feeling for Jean were in fact love, that it wasn't Jean he was IN love with. He lifted his hand and rubbed the back of his neck as he closed his eyes not being able to watch any long as Logan laid his head upon her chest.
"Scott…" Jean said making her presents known as she walked up behind him. She could hear his thoughts as loudly as she could hear her own and not only was it breaking her heart, but the pain he was feeling was almost unbearable. She took a deep breathe and tried to remind herself that he loved her, he did, he was just concerned with Rogue welfare right now. He loved her, he had to, and things had been getting so much better the last few days. They were talking more, he was starting to come to their room earlier at night, and from time to time he would put an arm around her or hold her hand. It was only a matter of time before stopped thinking of Rogue all together, she was sure of it. It didn't matter anyways, she wasn't letting him go. And there was no way Logan was going to let him near Rogue even if she did. So it was more like she was doing this for all of them not just her and Scott. Yes, it would only be a little while longer before all four of them were happy. "You know, you really should get some sleep…" she said as she took another step towards him and placed a hand at the base of the back of his neck to replace his own hand and started massaging the knots there. "You're tried and I promise I will inform you if anything happens… I know how much two of you meant to each other."
Meant… Past tense, she was right though. Scott thought as the words Jean had just spoken sunk in. It was too late, Marie was gone, and it was too late to… "Yeah, you know I think your right. I am pretty tried… I guess I'll see you when you get in." He said as he gave one last look at Marie before turning and heading towards the door.
"Yeah, I should only be here a couple of more hours." Jean replied as he walked past her, then when he reached the door she added. "I love you; see you in a little bit."
"Love you too." He retuned as he walked out the door of the infirmary, giving her a small smile as he made his exist. Scott didn't know why he had said what he just had; it was as if he felt he had to. He sighed as guilt wash over him because he knew it wasn't true, at least not the way she wanted it to be. But what did it matter anyhow, he couldn't be with the women he truly did love, so the least he could do was make sure Jean was happy, lord knew she had already been through enough.
Jean bit the top of her pen as she looked at the door her beloved had just existed through. To make him say that had been wrong, hell what she was doing to him altogether was wrong. But she needed to hear him say it. Looking down at her clip board and seeing Rogues name on the papers before her brought the woman's gaze to the two people in room beside her. Fighting back the guilt of what she was doing, she repeated to herself as she continued looking at Logan and Rouge, it was for the best. It was for the good of all of them; it was…it had to be.
Three Days Later
Logan opened his eyes and looked at Jubilee, then turned his head to look at Marie. He squeezed her hand, nothing. She hadn't moved, hadn't flinched, hadn't made a sound now for three days. A pain shot through his chest and his eyes stung with tears as they did every time she didn't respond to him now. And although no one said it to him she was becoming more frail, he could see it. She was getting paler; her breathing was slowing more everyday, he could hear her heartbeat growing weaker, and the glow that always seemed to be around her was dimming. She had become his light and now his world was gradually growing darker as she faded, she had stolen his heart, and was now stealing his sanity. It was actually poetic since she was the one who brought him out of the same darkness and insanity she was now putting him back into. Just this morning he had sworn he'd heard her call his name, felt her lips press against his, and then he woke up. It had felt so real; how was he going to live without the one person who had taught him how to smile again. What a cruel contradiction to be given some one to open the deepest part of your soul, only to have them taken away from you. He looked down at her hand in his, so small, delicate, and fragile, he pulled it to his lips and tenderly placed a kiss on her palm as he had done so many other times in the past three days. Then he rested the same hand back again on the bed beside her.
"Logan, I know you have to be tried, and hungry, so…."
"No. I'm not leaving her Jubilee. I can't." Logan was sick of having this conversation, not only with Jubilee but with Ororo, Charles, Hank, Jean and even the blue guy Kurt had stopped by once yesterday.
"Look, I hate to say it, Wolvie but you're not doing Roguey any good by sitting here. You need to take care of your self, Mr. I think I am invincible. There are Hank and Jean are here to take care of her around the clock; plus it's not like she is going get and go some where ok. So let's get you home, for the love of God and everyone who's had to smell you, get you a shower, a decide meal, and a nice long nap and I will bring you right back." Jubilee ranted while taking a hold of Logan's arm and trying to get him up out of the chair. Only to have him rip his arm easily out of her grasp.
"What if she wakes up big bird? Did you ever think about that? What if she wakes up for one minute and I'm not here." Logan all but yelled at her. He shook his head and took a deep breathe to clam himself, the last thing he needed to do was kill the girl. Especially since she was probably just looking after him the way Marie would want her to. "Look… If all I get with her is one more minute, just one second…. I want to be here for it." With that said he picked up Marie's hand once again and placed it on his face just to feel her touch, to reassure him she was steal there warm, and feel her pulse beating.
Jubilee looked at him feeling she had somehow failed Rogue. If she knew Logan wouldn't completely hate her for it, if not flat out kill her, she would convince Hank to have him kicked out of the room. "I know you want to be here for her Logan, I know how much you love her, and I also know I can't willingly get you to go home with me. So…. I'll make a deal with you ok. I will go get you a change of clothes, a nice hot meal… No, no don't you even start growling and glaring before you hear me out… anyways like I was saying, clothes, dinner, and I will bring it back here for you. And while you take a shower, eat, and then get some sleep in the room next door… I will sit with Rogue… and if she so much as twitches I will let you know… deal?" she asked with her hand now stretched out awaiting his acceptance.
"Will it get you off my back for a couple of days, if I say yes?" Logan asked now looking at the pushy girl with his left eyebrow slightly raised.
"Ok… yeah, sure why not?" Jubilee replied, not really meaning it, lowering her hand. Jubilee then headed for the door.
"Fine." Logan answered, returning his gaze back to Marie.
"Good I will be back in a little while then." Jubilee then walked out the door with a smile on her face, she may not have had things turn out like she had planed but she had gotten her way none the less, and now Rogue's big bad was taken care of.
It hadn't take Jubilee long to run out to Logan and Rogues place grab some clothes, swing by the kitchen pick up some food, and get it back to him. Probably a little to fast for the wolverine's taste since she still had to fight him to leave to the next room and take the shower and nap he had promised her when he had finally finished eating his food. But Hank had just confirmed that he was out like a light in the next room so her mission would be completed once he woke up and was back in here. Well completed for that day anyways, because unless sleeping beauty here woke up in the next few days she would have to come back and do it all over again. Then hearing the door open behind her Jubilee rolled her eyes and stood ready to inform Logan that a nap in her book was at least two hours not thirty minutes, only to become speechless when she turned around to find Scott standing at the door instead of whom she expected it to be. "What the hell are you doing here Mr. Summers?" she said more out of confusion than shock. She didn't get it; the man had dumped Rogue like a hot potato as soon as he heard the news about Jean, and then processed to act as if nothing had ever happened between the two of them. Why should he care, when he had pretty much proven how much he didn't.
"I wanted to see Ma… Rogue. I haven't really had the chance with Logan in here twenty-four, seven. So…" Scott answered her without giving her a glance, his eyes had been focused on Marie from the second he had walked through the doors and he could take them off her now. He hadn't come here to see her, he was only giving some papers to Hank that the Professor had asked him to drop off on his way to the danger room. But when he paused to look at her through the window and found that Logan was gone he couldn't stop himself from going inside. Seeing her now, he understood why Jean had stopped reporting to him who she was. She was so pale that there was hardly any color at all, she was thinner, and her breathing was now supported by oxygen since it was so sallow. She was dying. How, how could this be happening, how could a person so full of life as Marie had been, have so little left?
"Look I hate to be rude, well that actually that's not true. But Logan is just next door and he is going be royally pissed at me if he finds out that I let you in here. So if you don't mind…." She didn't know why but she couldn't do it, she couldn't make him leave. Maybe it was the way he was just watching Rogue, maybe it was the look of sadness and heartache that had taken over his face just second ago. Or maybe it was because she knew her best friend would have wanted him here. Regardless she couldn't bring herself to kick him out of the room, so instead she opted to give the two of them some time alone. So that way if Logan came walking in to see him here she would at least have a running start to the Professor office while One eye was ripped to bits. "I'm… I'm uhh… going to go and get something to drink, let you have some time with her. Only under one condition though, and that is you have to be gone by the time I get back ok…Okay." Jubes asked as she headed towards to door after getting a nod of agreement out of him. "Wolfman is so going to kill me." She whispered to herself as she walked out of the med lab to make her way to the kitchen.
Scott slowly walked over to the side of the bed so that he could be closer to her; he then ran a finger down her pale cheek and then back up to push a stand of her platinum hair off her brow. "Hey beautiful, Sorry I haven't been here sooner." But that wasn't all he was sorry for; it was for so much more than just not sitting here by her side, the way he knew she would have been for him. But for all the other pain he had caused her over the past two months. "You remember Ms. Murphy, you know the old lady with the dog you encysted on stopping and talking every morning when we went for our run." Scott stated rambling as he took the seat next to her. Taking her hand in his he lifted it to his lips and laid a gentle lingering kiss on her fingers as he remember the way Marie would always have to stop and play with the dog as she talked to the lady. She loved that dog, had always gone on and on about wanting one just like it Scott though as let the memories bring a smile to his face. "I saw her this morning, she said to let you know you're in her prayers, and that she misses talking to you… She isn't the only one who misses you that's for sure… I know I do…but I miss more than just talking to you… I miss everything… I miss seeing you swallowed in one of my shirts when I would come into our room at night… I miss watching those 70's dances you used to do just to get me to smile… waking up to hear you singing in the shower in the mornings… listening to you laugh… seeing you smile… Christ I miss you so much it hurts… I keep thinking that, one morning I will wake up and it will stop… this pain of not having you in my life anymore… Sometimes I even pray for it… But the truth is… the truth is… I long for you touch… I haunted by your smile… I can't erase you… I don't want… I love you Marie… I love you and I want you back in my arms…" Scott said with tears now falling trying his best not to brake out in the sobs the were threatening to take over him as he laid his face next to hers and brushed his lips ever so lightly across her cheek. Then whispering in her ear he continued. "You have to listen to me now, ok doll. You have to open your eyes and come back to me ok. Because I can go on living without you anymore, and you have to be here so I win you back. So open your eyes and come back to me. It will be the last thing I ever ask of you baby, I promise. Just come back to me beautiful."
"Mmmmm…." Marie moaned, causing Scott's head to snap up in attention. Scott couldn't believe it his eyes wide with disbelief he immediately griped Marie's hand tighter as he looked at her face waiting to do something else so that he could prove to himself he wasn't going crazy and he had really just heard her make a noise. After a long moment Scott closed his eyes behind his red glasses and rubbed his forehead with his free hand, maybe he was going crazy. Then he felt her hand tighten around his and his eyes looked down to watch her fingers bend around his. He brought his gaze once more to her face and willed her to open her eyes and look back at him, so he could look into those warm chocolate brown eyes that he always got lost in.
"Scott." Marie tried to get out but the word just wouldn't come, it hurt so much to even try but she had to. She struggled even harder just to open her eyes, she felt so weak that is like she had a set of weights on each eyelid. Finally she managed to crack them open, and the light burned her eyes as a pain shot through her head, and she quickly shut then once again and held them closed tight for a moment before trying for a second time. And when she heard him softly say her name, god how she loved the sound of his voice, she tried even harder to open them.
Scott seen her month his name and the moment she cracked her eyes he felt pleasure that he never knew was possible. "Marie… Marie, baby… it's… it's ok, I'm right here…don't push your self… oh god, thank you…" Scott laid his head in the curve of her neck and kissed her collarbone lightly, and when he felt her hand in his hair, he couldn't help but let more tears fall. He put his arm across her waist and position himself so he could see her face. She was looking up at him now and couldn't tear his gaze away for the brown orbs he never thought he would see again. Scott bent down and placed a kiss on her forehead. "You are not ever allowed to do this to me again, do you understand me Marie?" he stated as he pushed a strand of hair from her face, and you could hear from the tone in his voice that he wasn't joking but quite serious. "I love you to much to lose you like this now." Scott said affectionately as he remembered the very first time Sam had told him she loved him where in those exact words.
From the doorway Logan stood fuming at what he saw before him, Scott was sitting there placing his lips on her, his Marie, and it was taking every single bit of strength that Logan had not to go in there and gave Scooter a few extra holes to add to the one he was born with. As he was about to go in and do just that he felt her standing behind him and then heard her say to him words that seemed to tempting to turn down.
"I can make her love you." Jean said as she looked at the same sight that Logan's gaze was fixed on. If there was anyone who would understand that she could lose Scott, it was Logan, because if she lost Scott he would lose his dear Marie. And that was something he was willing to fight for, the same as Jean herself was willing to fight for Scott. And since they were pretty much on the same team, maybe it was time the fought together.