Author's Notes: Apologies for the slow update.
Secrets and Lies
Chapter 11
The bus weaved its slow way into the city centre, through the streetlights, along once familiar streets. She felt chilled to her very core. She was going back to face the woman she'd wronged…back to the workplace she'd left disgraced and demeaned.
She slid out of bed, the floor cold beneath her bare feet. She shivered, half from the cold, half from the memories. She didn't turn back, but did catch sight of him in her mirror. Still asleep, breathing deep and regular.
Her own breath caught in her throat. She pulled her robe from the back of the door, fastened it tight around her. She stepped out into the hall, allowed the door to close behind her.
She wished last night hadn't happened, as hard as she could, but it had. It hadn't been a dream, not this time. She'd known that from the minute she'd woken up in the tangle of sheets and limbs, his hand lying heavy on her bare stomach.
And now she had to go into work. She had to face her colleagues. She had to face Abby.
How had she done it? How had she lied to Abby? How had she been so callous and so…so cruel? To this day, she couldn't answer that question.
The bus pulled into the bus terminal, the doors sliding open again with a familiar loud hiss.
"Mina…Mina, honey, wake up,"
Her daughter sat up slowly, eyes bleary with sleep. A pang of guilt turned her stomach. How could she do this to Mina? This wasn't fair on the girl. She knew nothing of her past, and she was too young yet to understand. Yet, she'd dragged her right back into the middle of it.
"Are we there, Mommy?"
She pursed her lips, drew a long breath to stop from crying, and answered.
"Yes, honey, we are,"
"Do we have to go far?"
Mina said sleepily, those deep brown eyes staring up at her. She was sure her daughter was wise beyond her years. She got that feeling every time she looked into those soulful eyes.
"Not far,"
Neela pulled the overnight bag down from the locker, reached out for Mina's hand. Together, they got off the bus. She stopped a moment to look around and get her bearings.
"This way, Mina,"
Walking with a new purpose, she headed towards the EL. The EL platform wasn't busy. She strode purposefully onto the train, chose a seat and pulled Mina onto her knee. The city sped by the window as the train rattled back towards County.
Back to the familiar hallways, etched with memories of the best and the worst of times. To all the places he'd kissed her inappropriately and unexpectedly, including that store cupboard where they'd finally been caught out.
The knot she'd tied herself into began to unravel, and so she had decided to leave. Those were the hardest days of her life, or so she thought until now. The five months between leaving Chicago in late April and the day Mina was born on the 7th of September 2006 were long and troublesome. Her darkest days, by far.
She had been confined to bed for the last month of her pregnancy. It nearly drove her crazy. She spent days counting the lines on the wallpaper, and unpicking the fringe on the curtain that hung over the bed. She was bored and she was restless and, worst of all, she was thinking.
And it was the thoughts that nearly pushed her over the edge. Horrible images of Abby, memories of the malice in her voice, how twisted by her fury she was. She had been almost unrecognisable. How she feared Abby would not recover this time. She had been sinned against before, but not by her best friend. What they'd done was an unforgivable sin.
And so this was her punishment. This discomfort was nothing to the pain she'd caused Abby. She suffered in silence, fearing the wrath of the gods if she complained. This was her punishment and she had to bear it.
Every so often, she would feel the baby move or kick. It was the only time she remembered this swelling was actually alive. A miracle, but accident. A terrible, wonderful accident. And that brought rawer images to the fore, images tainted by what she considered must have been love.
His touch haunted her in those long, lonely days, and she was surprised how much she missed him. She was haunted by how easily he'd gotten to her, how simple it had been for him to get her to submit. How she had folded to his will, without a second thought for Abby.
The first kiss had been intoxicating. He'd kissed her like she was the only thing between him and oblivion, and she had responded in kind. So, he'd just kept coming back. And she'd let him in – into her bed, into her body and into her heart. For what little good it proved to have done her.
She sighed heavily as the train pulled to a stop at her station. She lifted Mina, expertly balancing luggage and her sleeping child as she alighted from the train again. Her mind was still racing as she made her way back down the steps. But the minute she walked back into the ambulance bay, the world stopped spinning on its axis, and her mind ground to a dead halt. This was it. She was really here.