Author's Notes: Don't sue me for little mistakes I might have made (I did proof read, but might still have missed some things) – this was written partially during a bout of insomnia very very early one morning! And a huge thank you to all those who've reviewed and said such fantastic things, it makes it all worthwhile to read that people are enjoying the story. Standard disclaimers apply – because I just became aware I don't think I put that anywhere in the story yet.

Secrets and Lies

Chapter 14

She approached slowly, contemplating what to say with each step. She gripped Mina instinctively tighter. Her eyes carefully scanned for Sam's reaction, the nurse's movements slow, deliberate. She was only able to take in the finer points of the nurses body language once they were both standing in the same circle of streetlight. It was only then she saw the redness around Sam's eyes, and the wet tracks over her cheeks. A lump developed in her throat.

"Sam,"

Her greeting was cursory, neutral. Sam inclined her head, curls covering her expression.

"Hello stranger,"

She said eventually, her tone muted but decidedly sharp around the edges.

"Welcome back,"

She added, almost sarcastically. Neela shifted her weight, to relieve her by now aching hip. Every muscle in her body complained bitterly, and all she wanted to do was sleep. But she had to do this first. Sam looked up at her, and reached out a faltering, tentative hand towards Mina.

"So, who's this?"

Sam almost smiled, but retracted at the last minute. The hesitation was pointed, noticeable.

"Mina,"

Neela answered quietly. Sam had known...Sam had been the only one who'd known...

"Pretty name,"

Sam commented blandly, idle fingers smoothing tiny, imaginary creases in the child's clothes. Neela couldn't help but be slightly perturbed by Sam's apparent calm.

"You never called,"

"It was easier not to,"

Sam answered honestly, eyes aside focussed in the middle distance. But the number had always been there in her cell, tearing a hole in her.

"But you kept the number,"

And had given it to Susan, Neela nearly added. Sam faltered, shrugging dismissively.

"For emergencies,"

She clarified, her tone now distinctly bitter. Neela was fully aware of the situation Sam had been put in by her behaviour. It hadn't been fair, but the nurse had been the only one she'd had left, the only one who didn't hate her for what she'd done.

"He'll be here too,"

Sam swerved the conversation in a completely different direction. Her heart missed at the very thought. Sam shuffled her feet awkwardly in the stunned silence that followed, her own emotions still frustratingly unclear.

"How is she?"

Neela whispered, words forming with increasing difficulty, her voice cracked and awkward, deliberately avoiding Sam's comment. Sam rubbed her eyes wearily.

"Fading fast,"

Came the sad answer. Her lungs burned, her throat ached with effort and emotion, and she felt sick. Mina stirred, her eyes fluttering open.

"Someone's awake,"

Sam stated. Neela shifted, bent and placed the child on her feet on the asphalt. Mina was bleary and confused.

"Hey sweetie,"

Sam adopted an artificially cheery tone, locking eyes with Mina. Neela watched her child's face intently.

"You remember I talked about Sam right?"

Neela said eventually. Mina stared vacantly for a minute, then flicked her eyes back and forth a couple of times, utterly confused. It became infinitely clear that Mina was overwhelmed, so Sam switched her focus back to Neela.

"Do you want to see her?"

A tentative incline of the jet-black head indicated a nervous yes. Sam sighed wearily.

"Exam 4. You remember the way?"

Another nod. Sam offered her hand to Mina.

"I'll take her to the lounge,"

"Thanks,"

Neela paused, watched the nurse make her slow way to the hospital entrance, her shattered little girl in tow.

"And Sam…"

She called out impulsively. The blonde looked back over her shoulder fleetingly.

"I'm sorry,"

Sam's smile was weak and strangely expressionless, belying her eyes. She waved her free hand dismissively. Neela was stung. Her apology was genuine, but her timing truly shocking. Sam disappeared into the warmth, the light.

Neela screwed up all her courage and strode purposefully inside herself. It was so achingly familiar, it pressed hard down on her chest. It had been 5 years since she'd practised medicine, but it was only now she realised she'd missed it.

She'd missed County General. She'd missed Sam. And Abby. Who was now merely feet away from her. Her jaw muscles tightened in an effort not to cry and she paced along the corridor.

Susan was sitting with Abby, she saw, partially blocking her view. She bit the inside of her lip until she could taste blood, just to convince herself this was real. Then she pushed the door open merely 6 inches. She could still back out. She wouldn't, but she needed to keep the option open.

Susan heard the door open, swivelled on the chair, startled. Rich, brown eyes stared at her across the room. Suddenly, the air around Neela felt heavy. The silence was poised on a knife blade.

Abby stirred but didn't wake, muttering something inaudible. Susan rose and crossed to the open door.

"Neela,"

There was no hiding her disdain. Neela sensed she was resented for disturbing Susan's final moments with her best friend.

"Susan,"

The greeting was nervous, tentative.

"She's sleeping,"

Susan hissed, clearly irritated. Neela tensed, knowing exactly why Susan was reacting as she was. She was trying to protect Abby. She had feared this very reaction.

"Is she?"

A small voice whispered from the bed. Susan turned and over her shoulder, Neela caught her first proper glance of her former friend. Her stomach turned. The sight was horrific. Her instincts told her to flee, but her feet held firm. Abby's eyes struggled to focus on her, but when they did, the gaze was unflinching.

"Come here,"

Abby gestured, hand shaky but voice firm. Neela slipped past Susan and crossed to the bed. Susan left the room, clearly much against her better judgement.

"You look well,"

Abby's appraisal was swift, her eyes running coolly over her whole body. Neela crossed her arms tight across her stomach.

"Don't worry, I don't expect you to say the same,"

She joked weakly, and Neela only half smiled. Abby coughed violently a couple of times, her whole body convulsed, then turned back to Neela, expression unchanged. Once again, Neela had cause to find her friend's calm disturbing.

"I didn't expect you to come,"

Neela just stood there, muscles stone under her skin, completely speechless, paralysed by fear.

"Cat got your tongue?"

Abby asked bitterly, forcing her into action. She flapped momentarily, open-mouthed, lost for words.

"No…no…I…."

She cut herself off before 'sorry' crossed her lips, the words clumsy on her tongue. Abby's smile was slightly cruel.

"Don't embarrass yourself, Neela,"

A hand ran through her hair nervously, shaking almost uncontrollably.

"It's been 5 years, I don't expect you to know what to say,"

Abby paused, and Neela flinched, almost sensing what might be coming next.

"Just tell me…does this…I mean, does seeing me like this, does it hurt?"

Guilty, selfish tears prickled her eyes, and she fought not to cry. Abby locked bitter eyes on her, ravaged by illness, haunted by betrayal and desperate to see her suffer. After a long, heavy minute, she nodded.

"Yes,"

She admitted weakly. Abby looked satisfied with that.

"Good,"

She said coldly, before turning away to face the window. Neela never saw her tears fall, cut to the core as she was. She had been dragged back to suffer. She couldn't help but feel she deserved that. What had she expected? Peace? Abby could never give her that.