Author's Notes: The narrative kind of switches in this chapter, which I hope isn't too weird I tried to make it behave otherwise, but it wouldn't!

Secrets and Lies

Chapter 17

Just when the hurt of 5 years ago once again threatened his hold on reality, he happened to look up, perhaps as a result of feeling eyes on him. And what familiar eyes they were. Soft, rich, deep chocolate brown, poignantly familiar. He felt the beginnings of a smile, but quashed it almost instantly.

Thoughts of Abby made way for a different set of memories. Memories of a woman who had done nothing but soothe and care and try to heal such open wounds. She'd been caught up in something beyond her control. Memories of the woman who had run away, and left him alone, which was no more than he had deserved.

She approached slowly, her expression constantly changing as if she wasn't sure how to handle this, what to say. After 5 years, what do you say to an ex-lover? Especially after they parted as they did.

"Hey,"

She opened, cursory, neutral, her expression a carefully crafted matching mask.

"How are you?"

He decided to let her steer the conversation herself.

"I've had better days,"

"I know that feeling,"

She admitted, allowing herself a cursory glance at her watch. She had now been up for 18 hours, and she suddenly realised how tired she was.

"Where've…

"What…"

The words met and collided mid air. She smiled at her brief lapse in manners.

"No, you first,"

She acquiesced gracefully, swallowing her own question for the time being.

"I was just going to ask where you've been…?"

He didn't even get to finish his question before she jumped in with her answer.

"Lincoln,"

"Illinois? That's only what? 2 hours away?"

Two and a half, her mind corrected automatically. But she just nodded her affirmation, and decided to make no further comment on the subject. He decided it was safest to let it drop and steer the conversation somewhere else.

"Did you know she was sick?"

She nodded again.

"You?"

She added as an afterthought, shuffling awkwardly. It was his turn to nod.

"Hey Neela,"

Sam inserted herself into their somewhat awkward silence, and Neela was secretly relieved at the interruption.

"Mina is asking for you…"

Sam finished abruptly. He caught both women's gazes fleetingly, noted the odd look that passed between them.

"I'm coming,"

Sam wandered away slowly, her steps laboured. Of course she sensed his next question. She waited with a heavy heart for the inevitable.

"Mina?"

He questioned curiously. Neela snapped her eyes up to meet his.

"My daughter,"

Came the frank and slightly alarming response. He floundered, and by the time he had his thoughts in order, all he could see was her rapidly receding back.

The five year old was awake when she reached the on call room, sitting up on the bed, remarkably animated. She allowed herself a wistful smile at her daughter's toughness, her ability to cope. Neela sat down by the bed, and folded her hands carefully in her lap. Mina's eyes snapped onto her immediately she began to speak.

"Mina...Mina, honey, remember when you asked about your daddy, I said he lived far away,"

The child nodded solemnly. Neela continued, nerves turning the pit of her stomach. This could work out to be either the best move she ever made, or the worst mistake of her life. She wouldn't know that until she saw the look on his face, and by then it would be too late to take it back and she would have to deal with the consequences whatever they were.

"Well, that far away was Chicago,"

She continued. Two and a half hours was all it had ever been between them. She winced at the very idea. He was going to hate her - that was the one thing of which she was sure. Mina looked at her with a keen interest, her brown eyes alert and alive with ideas.

"Here?"

Mina gestured excitedly. Neela nodded, her movements calm and deliberate.

"Yes, Mina, here,"

She affirmed quietly, noticing the rising level of anticipation in Mina's tone. She crossed the fingers on her lower hand, hoping he would have the same kind of positive reaction, at least in front of Mina. She didn't care what he said to her afterwards. That she would just have to be grown up enough to take.

"Is daddy here?"

Neela smiled at her daughter's enthusiasm. She wasn't sure, but it was now or never. She couldn't have them in the same building and keep her from him any longer.

"Yes, hon, he is. Would you like to see him?"

Mina's head bobbed almost frantically, her small frame instilled with a new energy.

"OK sweetheart, come with me,"

Neela lifted the girl down from the bed and took the small, slightly clammy hand in her own.

Neela noted the way he squinted at her curiously as she walked back down the corridor to where he was still standing, apparently dumbstruck. Her brain forced her to keep walking, even though she was increasingly nauseous with the nerves that turned in her gut.

She stopped her daughter mere feet from where he stood. Confusion reigned in his expression, as he scanned both of their faces carefully. Neela squared her shoulders, arched and then lengthened her spine, dragging out the moment of truth for as long as she could.

"This is Mina…"

She said gently, one hand ruffling the black hair and causing the girl to squirm away from her very slightly.

"I can do it myself, mommy,"

Mina protested indignantly, squaring her shoulders. Neela frowned down at the 5 year old, irritatingly precocious as she was.

"Our daughter,"

Neela finished simply. He took a few seconds to absorb the information, and then crouched to bring himself down to Mina's eye level.

"So, you're my little girl then?"

Mina began to smile, cheeks tinted ever so slightly pink, then a puzzled look settled over her expression instead. She reached out one small hand, brushed the side of his face ever so gently, her face folding into a frown as she did so.

"Why don't I look like you?"

Neela was startled by her daughter's question, and considered his expression as he thought about the best answer. Mina's genetic inheritance from her father was her temerity. She was more her father's daughter in that way than in any other.

"Because you are beautiful like your mom instead,"

He replied, tone smooth and careful, and she couldn't help the wistful smile that touched her lips at his answer.

"Are you sure you're my dad?"

"Mina!"

Neela scolded sharply, so sharply Mina turned to look up at her. He flicked his gaze up to her as well. She had to recover herself quickly.

"Would I lie to you, honey?"

She continued, softening her tone as she saw the confused brown eyes upturned to her.

"You did before,"

Mina snapped back instantly. Neela glanced between father and daughter, clearly seeing the tension beginning to form in the lines on his face.

"Come on, Mina, that's enough. Bed, and this time I mean it,"

She frogmarched the girl back to the on call room. Had that been a positive reaction? He hadn't really reacted. He hadn't gotten angry. He had barely had a flicker of emotion throughout all his dealings with his daughter. Neela settled Mina into the bed, the look on his face stuck fast in her head.