Heaven

By Virtual Unicorn

Angst/General

Disclaimer: None of this belongs to me, but one day I shall seduce Nadir.

Summary: This fanfic is Erik's letter to Christine to inform her of his death, instead of writing an advertisement as noted in the book.

Pairing: None specified.

To Christine: (whom I shall refrain from referring to as dearest, loveliest, random terms of endearment etc. so as to prevent further complications)

Night falls, but what difference exists in its comparison to the light when one's existence rots in the glimpse of death's eternal telescope eye? Night corrupts the vulnerable, but light condemns the innocent. Night welcomes the sinister; the light shuns the diverse. Night expels; but the light bears sights that are worth expulsion. Night laughs to congratulate himself in his devious labor; light laughs to sink the spirits of the unfortunate.

Light is the unintentional bearer of hatred and misjudgment; night is the deliberate possessor of malice, refuge, solace, and theperil which inspires a revelation in music.

But sometimes, even when one is influenced to abhor the one, he is assailed with the irresistible desire to explore the other, perhaps to assure himself of his confirmation on the issue. But, more often than not, when this desire for closure impels one to accomplish affirmation, his perception is reversed. This is what occurred to me; when I heard the voice of Christine, the night began to repel me, and in its endeavor deluded me to the light, because light was now the equivalent of Christine, and she banished this illusion so that she radiated from the center.

You were elusive, you traitor, you godforsaken wench—you tempted me to the surface with tidbits of yourself, divulging yourself one piece at a time for me, distributing them for me as one does to lure a cat from its perch on a tree! But how can I blame you? And, oh God, how can I write the message that I have conceived with such fractured conviction? I cannot be so vain as to assume you would be heartbroken hearing the news of my death. In reverse, it is Erik's heart that is broken a hundred times in the deliverance of this letter. Do not ask the reason, Iam aware you are not in love with me, I have known it the entire time I chased the image of our mutual fervor; and it cannot affect me more than it has.

Oh, Christine, I once spoke to the Daroga that I was but a poor dog ready to die on behalf of you, and here I am, Christine, poised at your feet to succeed my vow. I imagine that you are here. I wait in obedience to hear an answer as you sense a question from me, which I cannot remember in light of your presence. I am not obliged to remember the words I ask, but I am aware that it is a question, a question which subsists not on words but on emotions.

I listen for your answer. I can hear you sigh, Poor, unhappy Erik.

After a span of what seems forever, you answer me.

Come with me, Erik. Come with me to heaven.

But, dearest—I have disregarded my former promise—what is heaven? No, I cannot imagine a confection of angels' wings, sedate harps andcelestial splendor.Heaven has been to this moment an eternal struggle for me to understand.

Is there a heaven in this universe to assimilate Christine's poor unhappy Erik, whose ugliness would surely disintegrate something so pure?

And I begin to think, to remember happiness of the most exquisite nature…

Ah, I can remember…

The image that surfaces to mind…when you kissed me!—on the forehead…a timd kiss planted on the forehead…when our tears mingled in each other's eyes…when I tore my mask off and you did not flinch….

And as I close my eyes, I dwell on this experience, and I think to myself that hits is the only heaven in the world that I would consent to inhabit.

Please RR! This is my first published fanfic.