"A Sticky Situation" by Krissy Mae Anderson
Summary: Rodney's got a problem...
Characters: McKay & Beckett
Rating: K / Angry Blue Wombat
Disclaimer: SGA doesn't belong to me, alas...
Spoilers: Hot Zone
Author's note: This is for shippygem, who inspired this fic by something that happened to her. Feel better soon, honey!
"So, Rodney, how did this happen?" Carson asked, trying in vain to keep a smile off his face. Biro owed him a week's ration of coffee now, and he couldn't wait to tell her that he had been right.
"Well, I was writing down some equations," Rodney volunteered glumly and twitched. "Ow! Carson, watch what you're doing! I need my brain, thank you very much."
"It wouldn't hurt as much if you didn't jump every time I move the curette, lad," Carson murmured, and rolled his eyes. "Trust me, Rodney, I've dealt with cases like this before," he added. Of course, that had been during his paediatric rotation during his internship, but Rodney didn't need to know that.
"Well, it hurts!" Rodney exclaimed, and twitched again. "Shouldn't it be out already?"
"It's really wedged in there," Carson said. "Mary, could you please hold the speculum this way, so I can see?" The nurse, who had been making strangled coughing noises over by the door for the last five minutes, walked over and positioned the instrument, the corners of her mouth twitching.
"That's good, just hold it there that way. Rodney, I've gotta hold your head still, so try not to move, please?" Rodney started to nod but Carson grabbed his head before more damage was done. He needed to distract Rodney somehow, because they'd never get the blasted thing out, and he'd be stuck in the infirmary bent over a twitchy, whining Rodney for an eternity.
"You were saying about the equations?" Carson asked, getting the curette in position again.
"I was writing them down, and it – my ear got really itchy," Rodney admitted, not noticing that Carson had gotten the curette in deeper. "And I – I scratched it."
"And you couldn't use your finger?" Carson chided him, and smiled. His plan was working, since Rodney was distracting himself by talking and wasn't fidgeting anymore.
"But that meant I would have to release the pencil, and that would take up time... Oh. Well, I've learned my lesson now – go to a doctor before trying to get it out yourse– OW! What did you do? I think my eardrum's gone now!"
"I got it out," Carson said, showing Rodney a pencil eraser. Rodney blushed. Mary started coughing again.
"Oh- thank you," Rodney muttered. "I thought it'd never be out. Is the-?"
"Your eardrum's still there, Rodney, and it'll be fine. Come and see me next Thursday, and put these drops in your ear for the next three days. And next time, use your finger if you need to scratch something, lad. They don't break off. " Rodney blushed again, accepted the eardrops, got up from the examination chair and almost flew out of the infirmary. The moment the door closed behind him Mary collapsed onto a stool and started giggling, and Carson let a long repressed chuckle come out. Just when they were calming down, they caught sight of the eraser lying on the instrument tray, and this time Carson had to sit down too. When they could breathe again, Carson turned on his commlink.
"Now, Emily, about that coffee-"