A/N: Thank you all for being patient, and also for your lovely reviews. Oh, and thank you my lovely reviewers for pointing out some things...

lindahoyland - They would probably have drunk ale or cider or some sort of other diluted spirit, so when I say he never drank, I mean never drank strong liquor. Thanks for noticing and making me aware of that! Also, I'm sorry for neglecting to answer your review from chapter nine...yes, I did fudge a little on my facts with the whole Gandalf thing. If you want, you can think of this as AU, but I'll leave that up to my readers. I just want you all to know that Gandalf did sail away before I have him going, so you're not like, "Heeey, didn't Gandalf..."

Nonce - Yes, I have been writing like that the whole time, though not as blatantly. I'm so sorry if it threw you off! I didn't mean for it to, but that was the way I started writing it, and I kinda wanted it to be like he's trying to teach a lesson here. I even considered having him writing this to his son...but anyway, sorry!

And now I shall pull you all off that cliff! Enjoy:-)

This chapter is dedicated to my good friend Debbie...also known as Quellerûth.

Chapter Eleven: The World As Best As I Remember It

"For I am about to fall,

and my pain is ever with me.

I confess my iniquity;

I am troubled by my sin."

-Psalms 38:17-18

Hours later, I awoke to the sensation of a gentle hand stroking my brow. Something cold, yet comfortable, was laid upon my head (which, by the way, ached terribly) and I heard a soft, feminine voice humming a tune. My initial thought was, of course, that Éowyn was holding me against herself and soothing my worries away, but within five minutes I knew it was not her. The voice was too high...the hands did not have that particular Éowynish feel to them. Besides, Éowyn was dead.

I opened my eyes hazily, then closed them again as the objects in the room spun around and around. The light hurt my eyes, and it took me a minute to open them again. Nothing had changed, and I shut my eyes wearily.

"Do not try to open them," a voice said above me, and a woman's hand began massaging my temples. "I do not know exactly what you did to yourself, but it was brutal."

I licked my lips and whispered hoarsely, "Who are you?"

She laughed softly, and I recognized her laugh from somewhere. I could not place it exactly, and it hurt to ponder over it. Instead I put reached my hand up to her face and felt gently. Lips, high cheek-bones, small nose, eyes, soft hair pulled back into a twist.

"Have you come a conclusion yet, my lord?" she asked, a chuckle contained in her still gentle tones. Anything shrill at the moment would have sent me reeling back into unconsciousness. I shook my head and began raising myself up; I found that I had been lying in her arms with my head pillowed on her shoulder. She helped me stay sitting for a minute, and then I tentatively tried opening my eyes again. This time I persevered until the room came to a halt, though the objects did not have their normal clarity. Then I turned toward my unidentified aid.

I blinked into the light, staring at the woman until I could put two and two together and figure out where I had seen her before. Sheena, that was her name. I had hired her as a nurse for my children. For a minute I was confused, and then I asked, "What are you doing in here?"

Sheena's smile fell and she touched my head. I flinched involuntarily. "I found you like this, this morning, when I came to find out why you were not at your children's lessons. Should I have called Beregond, my lord?" she asked, her face beginning to look frightened.

"No!" I said forcefully, then winced as my headache pounded from the exertion. "No, that's alright," I said quietly. "Where...where was I?"

Sheena pointed to the table. "You were lying on the floor by that table, and you had that awful bruise on your forehead. The windows were locked, and I knew that no one could get in here from the door, so I concluded..." she halted, looking down. "Anyway, I tried to revive you, and I have."

I eased my aching body into a seat and put my head in my hands. "Sheena, please, answer something for me."

She came over and stood next to me. "Anything," she said passionately.

"How are my children?" I whispered. I do not know what her face looked like, but her voice was measured and calm.

"Elboron was up late last night, unwilling to go to sleep. Morwen had nightmare after nightmare."

"And..." I choked to a halt.

"Feomir?" she asked. "He lay all night with his face toward the wall, but I do not think he slept."

I nodded. Suddenly, I felt her small hand slip into mine. "There is still time," she murmured. "Time to correct what went wrong."

I shook my head slowly, ignoring the pain in the action. "Time waits for no man."

Her other hand was on my neck, now, drawing me toward herself. I stiffened when I realized what she was about to do. What she meant by it, I will leave up to you to decided for yourself, but I can tell you that the feelings that exploded inside of me as she brushed her lips softly against my temple were beyond bearing. I jerked my head away and rose for the chair, stalking over to the window and leaning my head against the cool glass. I heard her make a small noise of surprise behind me, and I turned.

She stood with one hand still on the chair, the other raised in a searching gesture. Her eyes asked me why? a million times over. I shook my head. "Sheena, I am sorry. There can only be one woman for me...could only be one woman for me. I do not think I am capable of loving another woman, and if I do not love her how can I"

"I understand," she cut in, bowing her head and starting toward the door. "The children need me anyway."

I opened my mouth and shut it again immediately as she left the room without a final glance my way. There was no need to ask her if my children wanted ME.

They did not.

I fell onto the couch with a groan, glancing into the mirror. The sight which met my eyes was revolting...a huge black, blue, and green bruise flecked with blood covered my forehead. I gulped down some water and then turned on my side, trying desperately to ignore the pain and sleep.

I dozed fitfully all day, until around one o' clock the clatter of logs startled me out of my sleep. I immediately pulled the dagger out of my boot and rose to my feet.

Standing before me was the servant girl, Quellerûth, holding the tongs for the fire and looking very scared indeed. "I'm sorry, sir!" she cried, "I didn't mean to do it! I'm so sorry for waking you up." Her eyes traveled in shock to my forehead, and I put my dagger back with a sigh.

"It's alright...just finish your job and go," I said, seating myself on the couch again. She scrambled to pick up the logs and re-stoke the fire, using the huge tongs deftly for one so small. From time to time she would look up at me in fear, and then always she would cast her eyes on the hem of her worn dress. Finally, she stood to go and lifted her heavy basket of firewood. "I-I'm sorry, sir," she stammered again. I nodded. "I forgive you."

She turned to go out the door, mumbling, "It's a shame, really. Him so bruised and the little 'un too..."

"What did you say?" I asked. She froze.

"N-nothing, your lordship. I was merely..." she trailed off, caught. Carefully, she set the basket down and turned. "I-I thought it wrong they didn't tell you, but they are so much wiser'n me, and they know best"

"Know WHAT?" I urged, sitting up straight.

"Well, it's not likely to do much good, tellin' you" she hedged.

"TELL ME!" I practically screamed, and her eyes grew as wide as saucers. With more than one gulp for air she whispered, "Th-th-that Feomir has run off, sir."

In less than a second I was out of my seat and flying down the hallways, ignoring the servant girl's plaintive pleas that she was sorry. I could have run the course I was taking in the dark, but it seemed like forever until I got to my children's rooms.

As I ran into the room, I saw that practically everyone was there. Sheena sat on the bed, holding a sobbing Morwen in her arms. Elboron stood by the window, and Beregond was talking in hushes tones to one of my captains. Upon my approach they all looked at me and their faces displayed a universal emotion: hostility. I stopped dead in my tracks.

"What happened?" I asked, addressing Beregond. My guard raised his eyebrows, and I saw his eyes travel to my forehead. "It seems I should be asking you the same, my lord."

"This is no time for games, Beregond," I snapped. "Where is Feomir?"

"He ran away!" Elboron screamed at me, and his fists balled at his sides as if he wanted to strike me. "He's gone and we don't know where he went!"

"We are sending out a search party," Beregond said icily. "But we will not need you on it."

I looked up at him helplessly, but his heart had been hardened against me. I backed out of the room and hurried down the hall. Once in my room again, I slumped against the wall, feeling at the sharp stones which seemed to be the only real things in this whole awful nightmare. I leaned my aching head back against them, and with the pounding of the blood in my temples came one sentence:

You know where he is.

The others did now know where he had gone, but I did. I did because the boy was so like me I could depend upon him doing what I would have done, had I run away.

With a gasping sob, I flung my cloak around me and hurried outside the stables where I ignored the stable boy and saddled Silivren, Éowyn's horse. Then, mounting her, I rode out of the gates without a word to anyone in the household. They would not care that I was gone anyway.

Silivren's flanks were foaming by the time I reached the White Woods, south of my house by ten miles. Feomir loved these woods, as I did, and I had more than a good hunch that he was in here. Desperation and a strong sense of wrong urged me to hunt the boy down. And...now that I knew my son might be harmed, I was anxious for his well-being. I had seen the trait in my father many times when I was ill or wounded over the years. And yet one hand washed the other...on all of those occasions, though he came and seemed concerned about me, he always managed to make it seem like the hurt was my fault and another failure on my part.

I dismounted Silivren and tethered her to a tree, patting her neck soothingly. Then I walked noiselessly through the fallen leaves into the forest.

I must have walked for ten minutes before I stopped and closed my eyes, placing myself in a young boy's mindset. Where would I have gone, had I given up on my father ever loving me? Where would I have gone after I had received a beating?

The river...

Any type of water had always fascinated me, perhaps because the sea had always belonged to Amme. I had noticed that my son shared my enthusiasm over the water, and so I knew that I had chosen correctly. Stumbling, I hurried toward the bubbling water, tripping over sticks and rocks. Before I knew it, I came to a steep cliff overhanging a portion of the river and came up sharply. I would have to be careful to get down this...

What was that?

Down at the bottom of the cliff, right next to the water, lay a form. It was all huddled up, but the way its legs were lying...

Oh Eru, NO!

"Feomir!" I screamed as I half slipped, half ran down the steep hill. My heart pounded within my chest, rattling my lungs until I could not breath. Pounding waves of pain flooded my head, and my legs felt numb and weak. Before I could stop myself, I fell the last six feet and landed with a jarring thump at the bottom of the cliff. I could not stand (the breath had been knocked out of me so hard) but I crawled on my hands and knees to reach the prostrate figure of...

Feomir.

And her sky is just a bandit,

Swingin' at the end of a hangman's noose

'Cause he stole the moon and must be made to pay for it

And her friends say, "My, that's tragic."

And she says, "I should weep for the moon."

And this is the world as best as I can remember it.


"The World As Best As I Remember It" is the property of Rich Mullins. To find the song and full lyrics, look on "The World As Best As I Remember It: Volume I" CD.

A/N: For all of you who thought Sheena and Faramir should have gotten togetherit just wouldn't work. Really! He simply can't love again. That's just who he is. But don't worry, I shan't leave Sheena hanging. I'll get her all wrapped up and tied with a bow for you! Oh, and sorry if this is another cliffhanger...what could I do? Review, and ye shall have thy story...