A/N: I was so rushed getting the last chapter up (I was on my way out to a winter formal dance), that Ididn't have timeto comply with the niceties of fanfiction. Sorry to everyone who reviewed the first chapter that I didn't respond to. Reviews mean a lot to me, and I really appreciated your feedback. I'll confess, when I staggered back into my apartment at 3 am, the first thing I did was check my e-mail for reviews : ). Everyone who reviewed made my night! This time, Reader Review Responses to everyone are below.
Standard Disclaimers Apply: Harry Potter Co. belong solely to JK Rowling. I just crash the party every now and then.
HERMIONE'S VALENTINE
Chapter 3
It turned out to be a very long and commotion-filled Valentine's Day.
Harry had forgotten the vast potential for drama that always accompanied the Muggle holiday. All told, he thought ruefully, more relationships had been formed and broken in the past twenty-four hours than in his whole time at Hogwarts combined.
The Patil twins were no longer on speaking terms. Parvati had told a sixth year Ravenclaw smitten with Padma that she was her sister, sneaking in a good snog behind a tapestry before Padma caught them. All this had happened directly below the Divination classroom. The ensuing cacophony of screams and cries and crashing armor was so loud that Professor Trelawney stuck her head out of the trapdoor and asked dreamily whether someone had been murdered? She had been seeing dark portents for some time now.
Fred Weasley had tried a similar trick with Angelina Johnson, who had responded by quite cheerfully dropped a handful of flobberworms down the neck of his shirt, advising him that he needed to do something about the funny smell that followed him if he wanted to pretend to be his brother. Since Angelina usually didn't carry flobberworms in her back pocket, it was widely assumed she had received prior warning and that George had engaged in some double-crossing mischief aimed at his brother.
Lavender Brown had received devout declarations of love from a dumpy third-year, and Luna Lovegood had wandered the castle all day asking everyone what the occasion was. Neville, still smarting from the humiliation of the previous night, had treated Dean Thomas with his best attempt at cold disdain. Dean, in return, had told Neville to dry up.
And Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley treated each other with the most extraordinary politeness.
Harry found this last phenomenon to be particularly frightening.
But things didn't become truly insane until dinner that evening in the Great Hall.
The three of them and Neville were lingering over second helpings of cherry pie, trying to delay the inevitable return to homework. Ginny had abandoned her friends to join them in what Harry assumed was an attempt to protect Hermione from further insult. She ignored her brother completely except for the time she spent glaring daggers at him. But Ron refused to be embarrassed, kept shoveling food in his mouth, and asked Hermione nicelyto pass the cream.
But if Hermione and Ron weren't acknowledging the tension between them, they compensated for the usual lack of bickering by engaging in some strange competition to monopolize Harry's attention.
"Hey Harry, when's our next Quidditch practice?"
"Tuesday, Ron. You know that."
"Oh, yeah. Well, uh, the weather might be pretty bad that day . . . what do you think you're going to wear?"
"I don't know, Ron. I was pondering swimming trunks."
"Harry, have you finished Flitwick's essay on the Formica Eradicus charm yet? I've been reading ahead, and the book doesn't discuss whether it could effectively counteract a misguided - "
"Hermione, that essay's not due till next month."
"So you haven't finished it yet?"
"No."
"Hey, Harry, the Chudley Cannons are playing this weekend. If they win they're ahead in the rankings - "
"Do you think Professor Flitwick wants us to discuss its effect on wood mites? I mean, I could, but I'm already one scroll over the limit - "
"Their Keeper's overrated, though, don't you think? I mean, he couldn't stop a quaffle if it hit him in the stomach - "
"Although Flitwick's never marked me down for going over length like Snape has -"
Harry groaned. His gaze met Ginny's across the table and she gave a small, silently sympathetic smile.
Neville was looking from Ron to Hermione in confusion. "Say, are you two fighting? You seem - ouch!" He turned to Ginny with a shocked look on his face. "What was that for?" he griped, reaching down to rub his ankle beneath the table.
Ginny gave him a broad, innocent smile. "What was what, Neville?"
"You kicked me!"
"I did no such thing. Maybe you banged your shin against a table leg accidentally."
"I did not!"
"Neville, we can discuss this later." She gave him a meaningful stare, with only the slightest jerk of the head in Ron and Hermione's direction, both of whom were staring nonchalantly into space and pushing pie around their plates, pretending they had heard nothing.
"Oh . . ." Neville nodded in wise understanding. "Okay, Ginny. We'll talk . . . later."
Ginny rolled her eyes.
Harry was suddenly tired of the game. "C'mon," he said abruptly, scraping his chair back. "Let's head up to the Tower. Neville, I'll play you in a game of Exploding Snap?"
As the five of them approached the Hall Doors, Harry noticed a giggling cluster of first-year Slytherin girls standing nearby. The five of them slowed down almost unconsciously, curious about what the fuss was about.
Pansy Parkinson was standing at the center of the adoring throng. A smugly superior smile was plastered on her face, and she was smoothing her hair with one hand.
"He didn't, Pansy!" one of the girls was squealing. "Really?"
Harry saw the smirk on Pansy's face become even more self-satisfied. She studied the younger girl with disdainful, half-closed eyes. "I swear he did," she purred.
"Where did it happen?" asked another girl, leaning forward in breathless anticipation.
"In the halls between classes." Pansy studied her fingernails with casual nonchalance.
A third girl sighed and wilted against the wall, pressing a hand against her heart. "How romantic," she breathed. "Draco Malfoy is soooooo handsome. If only someone had kissed me today . . ."
Harry and Ron exchanged sideways glances full of laughter. Malfoy and Parkinson? Oh, this was going to be good.
"You know, it wasn't just kissing," Pansy continued confidentially. "But these aren't things I should be telling innocent first years . . ."
Hermione stepped up beside Harry and grabbed his arm. "What a liar!" she hissed in his ear. "I can't believe it. Everyone knows Malfoy detests her!"
Harry turned to her in surprise. Hermione was glaring at Parkinson with more dislike than he had ever seen before on her face.
"What was that, Granger?"
Harry turned again to see Pansy pushing her way through the crowd of first years. The Slytherin came to stand directly before Hermione, fists on her hips, blocking the Gryffindor girl's way out of the Hall.
Hermione stared blankly for several seconds before an uncharacteristically cruel expression came over her face. "You heard what I said, Parkinson!" she snapped. "I called you a stinking liar. Malfoy wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole, much less kiss you!"
"And who made you such an expert on men, Granger?" Pansy sneered. "I don't see any boyfriend of yours nearby. Or do you only let him out of his cage for special occasions?"
Harry saw Hermione's nostrils flare. Incredibly enough, her hair seemed to be growing even more curly as he watched. "C'mon, Hermione," he murmured, pulling on her sleeve. "Let's go."
Hermione flung his hand off violently. "Let go, Harry!" She whirled back to Pansy. "Whatever I do or do not know about men, Pansy," she sniffed, "is none of your business."
"Really! I don't think you've ever even kissed someone before!"
Hermione stared at the Slytherin girl, a calculating look in her eyes. Harry, Ron, and Neville cast uneasy glances at each other. Ginny looked as if she were gathering the courage to intervene.
But before anyone said something, Hermione tossed her hair. "As a matter of fact, Pansy," she said quite coolly, "I've been kissed many times."
The boys' jaws dropped nearly to the floor. Now, Harry was sure there were some things - girl things - that Hermione didn't tell them about. But still . . . something like a kiss? Well, it would've been at least nice to know. It must've been Krum.
But then Harry saw the look on Ginny Weasley's face. She was staring at Hermione with undisguised shock andan unmistakable warning in her eyes. It was then Harry knew that Hermione Granger was telling the most outrageous, boldfaced lie of her life. If there had been anything to know, Ginny would've known it.
Apparently, Pansy Parkinson also had her doubts. "I don't believe you," she said scornfully. "Anyway, you can't prove it."
"Can't I?" Hermione asked archly, tilting her chin in the air.
A sly look came over Pansy's face. "Fine then," she said smugly. "Prove it! Kiss someone here. Right now. And then maybe I'll believe you."
Complete silence fell. The Slytherin first years were staring at the two older girls with awed admiration on their faces. Epic battles like this didn't happen everyday. Neville's eyes flickered from Hermione to Pansy and back again uneasily. Ron was so pale that the freckles on his cheeks stood out like flakes of cinnamon. "Hermione . . ." Ginny said weakly, reaching a hand out to touch her friend.
Hermione didn't even look at her. Her face had a pinched, determined look that Harry had never seen before. "Fine!" she snapped.
With reflexes that would have done any Seeker proud, she whirled to face the group of friends standing at her back. Her eyes swiftly scanned her options while Harry, Ron, and Neville shuffled their feet nervously and inched backwards. "Oh boy," Neville gulped softly.
But Neville needn't have worried, for Hermione took two steps forward, grabbed Ron by his ears (Ouch, Harry thought vaguely, that looks like it hurt), pulled his face towards hers, and awkwardly pressed her lips against his.
Harry stared, fascinated, as the kiss went on and on. It did not look pleasant.
Pansy and the Slytherin girls stared.
Ginny stared.
Neville stared.
Hermione finally shoved Ron away from her and folded her arms across her chest. A defiant challenge glittered in her eyes, but it was directed at Ron, not Pansy. He staggered backwards, ears flaming, and Harry could see that there was a split-second when his friends' gazes met directly. Neither said a word.
But then Ron looked away and wiped his mouth awkwardly with one hand. "Ugh, Hermione!" he grunted. "Wotcha have to do that for?"
Hermione's face went paper white, except for two bright-red spots that flared high on her cheeks. Her mouth opened once or twice as if to speak. Without a word, she turned on her heel and stalked from the Hall. Harry had only a glimpse of the tears starting to pour down her cheeks.
Pansy was snickering. "I told you," she muttered to her friends. "She'd never kissed any one before."
"Shut up, Pansy!" Harry growled, taking a step forward.
"Make me, Potter!" she snapped.
Before Harry could make another move, Ginny stepped passed him with a half-empty dish of cranberry sauce clenched in her hands. Pansy stared at the girl, obviously not comprehending what was about to befall her. With a coolness Harry wouldn't have believed possible, Ginny poured thedish's wholecontents over Pansy's head.
"You're despicable," she said quietly.
Pansy spluttered. The first-years gasped.
Ginny didn't give the Slytherin girl a second glance. She whirled upon her brother. "What the hell's the matter with you?" she snapped accusingly before running in the direction Hermione had taken.
Harry and Neville turned to Ron with the same question in their eyes.
"I . . . I didn't mean - " he stammered, looking at them pleadingly, rubbing one hand through his red hair. "What was I supposed to do?"
Neville shook his head and put a sympathetic hand on Ron's shoulder. "Anything but that, mate," he sighed. "Anything but that."
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Reader Review Responses:
PixieDust: I did too! One of my uncles used to read the dictionary when young. We tease him about it mercilessly. : )
AJ: Thanks! I don't mind messing with the chronology of the books, but I really wanted the characters to ring true. I think that's the most important thing.
darkwickedwitch: Thanks!
GiGiFanFic: Yes, two more chapters! I think I'm going to be late with the fourth one however. It's only half-written and I have class tomorrow. I loved Valentine's Day in school, too. It may seem in this story I have an axe to grind, but I don't. I especially loved decorating the envelope pouches we hung off our desks . . .
sincerlywithhopeforthefuture: Updates coming!
AJ Lovegood: Thanks!