Rain pelted the windows like dime sized hail, thunder rolled and crashed as if someone were in the middle of a bowling game, and lightning streaked across the gray-black sky, illuminating the girl's face as she gazed across her backyard.
She glanced to her left at her black wireless phone that was lying on the far side of her bed and sighed heavily and she plunked her forehead against the plexiglassed window.
"Why hasn't he called?" She muttered. She blew on the window and traced a small heart in the steam from her breath.
She knew she was crazy for sitting in her room all this time. It had been almost a week since she told him how she felt. A week of her waiting, a week of her wondering, a week of her worrying if he would ever feel the same for her. She confessed everything she had ever felt in the past year she'd known him, but the past three months she's had more than friends feelings for him. She could remember his face, the blue eye looking deep into her own as she declared her feelings, never once interrupting her, just letting her ramble. She didn't say she was in love with him, but that she did love him and always will . . . until he gave her an answer.
Seven whole days later and she had not heard from him. She took this as a sign that he was trying to come to a conclusion and any minute now, her phone would ring and he would say that he loved her back. He could be coming to terms with it, but always gets cold feet the minute he picks up the phone. Or maybe he just wants to tell her in person. Any of these possibilities could be true; she kept an open mind. But after seven days? She was starting to loose hope.
Suddenly, the familiar sound of a phone rang. Its shrill sound gave her a start and it echoed around her room. From where she stood she could easily detect the light from the Caller I.D. illuminate that darkened area. Heart pounding, she launched herself on her bed and gazed at the Caller I.D. His number appeared across the screen. Blood rushed to her head and she felt faint, but pulled herself together and commanded herself to answer the phone. With shaking fingers, she reached for the phone and pressed the TALK button.
"Hell-" She coughed to get the nervousness out of her voice as well. "Hello?"
"Caden?" He said.
"Yeah, it's me. Hi, Blink."
"Hey. So," he started slowly. "How's your weekend going so far?" She could tell he was stalling, that he didn't want to rush into anything, but she wished he wouldn't. After all this time, she was still worried about what his answer might be. That was the one thing she hated about guys, they stall too much on things like this. Just tell the girl how you really feel and get it over with. Chances are she'd be okay with it. Crushed, but over it in a few days' time.
"Good, and yours?"
"Okay, some of the guys came over earlier and watched movies. They left about five minutes ago." Hmmm, maybe they said something to him to make up his mind, she thought.
"Cool. Sounds like you had fun."
"Yeah, we did," He laughed and it took all of her being not to sigh longingly. She loved his laugh and imagined him running a hand through his sandy blonde hair, wishing it could be her hand. "Man they can be so stupid sometimes." She couldn't help it. She grinned.
"Yeah well that's what we get for picking them as friends." They shared a laugh and it died down as quickly as it started. She could hear the sharp whistling of the wind outside her window and had temporarily forgotten that there was a storm raging. On his quiet end, she could pick out the slow and soothing beats of a jazz band coming from his stereo.
Her brown eyes glazed over as she stared at a blank space on the wall in front of her and remembered a fond memory that she liked to think about whenever it rained…
They had been walking home from school, and quickly as dark gray clouds threatened a downpour, when the clouds released the rain without warning, drenching them instantly from head to toe, and they hurried into the nearest building, which turned out to be a Starbucks. Laughing and freezing, the customers eyed them over and the staff twitched at the fact that they had just washed the floor and the duo had brought in evil water and mud. The ends of her hair drip-dropped on the checkerboard tile floor as well as the ends of their clothing. Straightening up and looking around at where their new shelter was, they decided to order something, but something hot as they were both shivering by this point.
"I think I have a jacket in my bag," he said after they ordered two hot chocolates and he went scrounging for money. Sure enough when he opened the flap to his backpack, there was his jacket, inviting and warm. He pulled it out and found twenty dollars in the front pocket. He held out the jacket, offering it to her.
"Oh no, I couldn't. It's yours, you must be just as cold." As she said this, she shuddered and he grinned and put the jacket around her shoulders.
"It's okay, I'm fine. I like the rain so I'm not as cold as you are. The hot chocolate will warm me up." She smiled gratefully at him and he paid for their drinks and they stood against the counter so as to not get the furniture wet. A song played throughout the café and he stopped sipping on his hot chocolate to listen. "What is this?" He pointed up, indicating that he was talking about the music. She shrugged.
"I don't know, but it's nice. I'll ask them," She said and turned to ask one of the staff members behind the register. He pointed to an album beside the bagels and pastries and explained how the artist was new and hot, currently number one on the jazz radio stations. "Heartbroken" it was called. "That's a sad name for such a peaceful song." She said to herself, picking up the CD and scanning it over. She handed it over to her companion and he instinctively turned it over and read the names of the other songs. He turned it back over and saw the price and, amazingly, that it was only ten dollars.
"I'm not passing up a deal like this." He said and handed it to the man behind the register. He dug around in his pocket and brought out the now damp ten-dollar bill and a few ones.
"Since when have you been into jazz?" She inquired. He paid the man and put his newly acquired CD into his backpack. She took the jacket from around her shoulders and held it out to him, but he put up his hand as if to say, "Keep it". She shrugged and actually put it on, the huge article of warmth swallowing her arms and petite frame.
"Since never, but when I hear a song I like I buy the CD."
"There is a better way to get the song. It's called downloading." He shrugged.
"Yeah, but I'm already here and I have money so why not?" She grinned and shoved him and thanked him for buying the hot chocolates. He nodded and they both peered out the rain streaked windows. "Well, I guess we better get home. Should I call your parents or mine?" He said, reaching into his jacket pocket and retrieving his cell phone. She hastily swallowed the chocolatey liquid and replied, "Mine, since yours got us out of the one two weeks ago. Is it just me, or is it odd that we're always stuck in the rain together?"
"No, I've noticed too. But now, instead of a memory of us being wet and miserable, I'll play this CD whenever it rains and remember that we were actually warm this time." She laughed and he flipped open his phone and started dialing her house number.
Those were a few of the reasons why she liked him. He's generous, sweet, and likes to do things on a whim. That memory was three months ago and the day that she had officially and completely fallen for him.
"Caden? You there?" His sudden voice intruding her quiet musings brought her back to the conversation at hand. She sighed.
"Yeah, sorry, just…thinking about things." She said quietly.
"Like?"
"Oh, stupid stuff. Like when you got that CD you're listening to."
"Yeah, well, I guess I should pass it on to you."
"Why?"
"Because you're going to feel just like the song in a minute," She knew exactly what he was talking about and knew what the answer would be. She didn't know if she could take it, actually hearing it from him. She'd had a little voice in her head that said the same thing but she always ignored it, in thehopes of her being wrong. He took a deep breath and plunged on. "Caden, I know I've been avoiding you for sometime and you must be very frustrated with me and I'm sorry for making you wait so long for an answer.
"The truth is, I don't know if I could ever feel the same way. I mean, there were a few times when I've looked at you in a different light, I'll admit that, but it's never lasted more than a day. And I didn't want to ask you out, for fear of just using you to test my theory and then having to break up with you on that account. You're one of my best friends and I didn't want to hurt you.
"You're smart, and beautiful, and kind, and funny and one day you are going to find a guy who loves you for all of those reasons. But I'm not the one, Caden." He said all of this gently and patiently, as if speaking to a small child in the hopes of getting his message across clearly. Her eyes burned and she looked away as if he had been sitting directly in front of her. He paused and waited for her to say something, but she only gave a small and pitying sniff and salty tears began to roll down her cheeks. When she didn't say anything, he continued.
"Please don't cry. I'm really sorry, Caden, God I am so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, that's why it took me so long to come up with an answer." He said and he really did sound sorry. But the tears continued to roll in a steady flow and she drew in a shaky breath and released it, to steady herself.
"I know. I kind of knew all along anyway, so it's not that huge of a shock. At least tell me we'll still be friends and that this won't inflict upon our relationship in any way."
"Of course it won't! I wouldn't have it any other way." He said hastily and firmly. She grinned and laughed a bit, nervously.
"The speech seemed well performed. Did Red help you with it?" He laughed too and seemed grateful that there wasn't any more tension between them.
"Only a little bit. I knew what I wanted to say, but she helped me so that it wouldn't sound so boy-ish, as Red had called it."
"Well, it paid off." She sniffed again.
"Yeah," he agreed quietly. "Well, my cell's ringing so I'm going to let you go." And indeed the familiar ringtone of "Headstrong" by Trapt snaked its way through her phone.
"Yeah, okay. I'll talk to you later, Blink."
"See ya." He said and with that, the phone line went 'click' and the dead sound of the dial tone came. She punched the TALK button again and turned it off.
So that was that. It was over. Her answer finally came, but not in the way she had wanted. She wiped away the lingering tears on her cheeks and rubbed her eyes, suddenly becoming very sleepy. Turning to her computer, she checked the progress of the songs she was downloading, surprised the machine was still on and that it hadn't been zapped by the lightening. The one song she wanted was done and so she double clicked on it and opened a small window where the pleasant sounds of it washed over her, filling her heart with sadness.
Thankful that her light was already off, she set her phone in its cradle on the bedside table and crawled under the covers of her pastel colored comforter. She closed her eyes and sleep quickly overcame her, her dreamland only filled of Blink, as the last few notes of "Heartbroken" faded away silently.
AN – This is for Blink Week, I hope you all have enjoyed it. I would say more but it's 3 a.m. here and I'm really tired. Please review! Thanks!
DreamlessMermaid