Disclaimers: "Gilmore Girls" and its characters belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, Hofflund Polone, and Warner Bros. Television. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just amusing myself and, hopefully, others.
Spoilers: through late season 5, especially 'Blame Booze and Melville'
Author's note: Written for for the Luke/Lorelai ficathon for Quinn who wanted an anniversary, PDA, a moment, and townies. She also gets fruit and a Jane Austen reference for good measure.
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War and Peach
Do I dare to eat a peach?
- T.S. Eliot
---
"Why is this so hard?"
Lorelai tossed the LL Bean catalogue she had been flipping through across the kitchen counter. It narrowly missed landing flat in a bowl of batter Sookie was mixing.
"As if the man really needs more flannel anyway?" Lorelai continued, groaning. "Why is he so impossible to shop for? And why do I have to buy an anniversary present when I'm mad at him? There should be a rule against that in the marriage handbook."
"Wow, you're crabby," Sookie said as she wiped the edges of the catalogue with the tips of her apron.
"I am not," Lorelai protested.
"Are you two still fighting? I thought you had resolved the whole lint catastrophe from last week."
"We did," Lorelai explained, getting up and searching the refrigerator for a snack. Funny that piece of chocolate cake after lunch had done nothing to quell her appetite. "I will swear on my deathbed that tissue in the washing machine was not mine."
"Uh huh," Sookie replied, grinning. "So what's this fight about now?"
Lorelai scrunched up her face, returning to the counter empty handed. "Luke is being so…he knows I can't take time away from the inn right now, but he keeps insisting we go away on vacation for a few days. I mean, come on!"
Sookie, however, was not about to give Lorelai the reaction she was hoping for. "Yes, of course, how incredibly insensitive of your husband to want to spend a few days alone with you. You do realize how ridiculous you sound? The inn won't cease to function just because you go away for a long weekend."
"I don't know. Maybe I am being a little unreasonable."
"A little?" Sookie asked, putting the finishing touches on the pies in front of her. "Ooh, a book!" she said suddenly.
"What?"
"A book! As a gift. You can get Luke a book about…about fishing."
"No, he hates books like that." Lorelai deepened her voice and gesticulated wildly with her hands as she continued. "'Why read a book about something when you can just go out and do it for yourself?'"
"That's your Luke impression?" Sookie asked, clearly unimpressed.
"Yeah."
"It needs work."
"Why? What's wrong with it?"
"Nothing per se. Just that after two years of marriage, you should have a better Luke impression."
"My Luke impression is fine," Lorelai pouted.
"Whatever you say." Sookie gave her a knowing smile and placed two identical pies in the oven.
Lorelai, wanting to change the subject, turned her attention to Sookie's baking. "That actually smells good, Sookie. Is it on the menu tonight?"
"Yup. Thought I'd go Americana with peach cobbler and vanilla ice cream. The peach crop's been great this season," she said as she began slicing up the next batch of fruit. "By the way, what did you get Luke last year for your anniversary?"
Lorelai sighed. "A book about fishing."
---
"So you're saying my brilliant, Ivy League educated daughter doesn't have a single suggestion?" Lorelai said into the phone, paying more attention to her pacing around the couch in the living room than to anything Rory was saying. She was also surprised to find herself biting her nails. She hadn't done that in years.
"Unfortunately," Rory replied on the other line, "I exhausted all of my gift ideas for Luke on his last birthday when I got him that toolbox cleaning kit."
"Didn't it consist of a rag and another rag?"
"Yeah."
"So, basically, you got nothing."
"I got nothing. Why did you wait this long anyway?" Rory paused, waiting for a response. "Mom? Hey, Mom?"
"Yeah, sweets?"
"You sound – I don't know – distracted."
"I'm not distracted!" A loud buzzing sound coming from the bathroom upstairs made Lorelai jump out of her skin. Quickly, she tried to cover the mouthpiece of the phone with her hand.
Too late. "What was that?" Rory asked.
"What was what?
"That sound. It sounded like a timer."
"Oh, um, yeah, it was. I'm doing laundry."
"It didn't sound like the timer on the dryer."
"Oh, so now you've memorized all the timer noises in the house? You have a complete inventory of sounds? You don't even live here any more. We could have a new timer. You don't know. Huh? Did you ever think about that?"
"Wow, Mom," Rory said slowly. "I just meant –"
Lorelai stopped her pacing and already had one hand on the banister ready to tear upstairs. "No, hon, it's not…I just haven't been myself lately. I'm okay, really. Look, I have to go. I, uh, need to get ready for tonight."
"Luke's taking you out?"
"Right after the town meeting."
"Okay, then," Rory said, not entirely convinced of her mother's excuse. "Give Luke a hug for me."
"Sure thing."
"And Mom?"
"Yeah."
"Happy anniversary."
"Thanks, kid." And before she could hear Rory's reply, she had thrown the phone onto the couch and raced upstairs.
---
Lorelai walked into the diner, the bells above the door announcing her arrival. It was a slow night, and the last customer was paying his bill at the counter. Lorelai stepped aside to let him pass. The cash register slammed closed, and Luke looked up from his pad.
"You're here," Luke said, surprised.
"Of course, I'm here." She leaned across the counter to give him a kiss. Luke pulled away first. "Hello."
"Hello," he replied.
"I haven't seen you all day. You were gone before I got up this morning."
"Yeah, you know," he said, as he went around the diner stacking chairs onto tables. "Early deliveries."
Lorelai was getting the strangest feeling that he was trying not to make eye contact with her.
"So…" she prompted.
"So?"
"Happy anniversary."
"Right. Happy anniversary," he repeated in a flat voice and moved in to kiss her again. Still, Lorelai noticed, he pulled away before she did.
"So are you done? Can we go?"
"Go?"
"To dinner. And the town meeting."
"I wasn't sure if we were still going."
"Of course, we're still going, Luke. Why wouldn't we be going?"
"I just thought – you know what? Never mind. You want your present now?"
Lorelai's cheeks turned scarlet. "Uh, yeah. Sure."
Luke moved behind the counter and placed a poorly wrapped box in bright lavender paper with an awkwardly tied bow in front of her. Lorelai's eyes brightened, but then her mind turned to her purse, completely empty except for her wallet, keys, and a few last minute impulse purchases at Doose's. She had been so distracted since her phone call with Rory that she had completely forgotten about any and all presents. She tore into the paper.
"It's…Luke." Lorelai stared down at the photo of an uncomfortable looking man dressed stiffly in period clothes. "You got me the 'Pride and Prejudice' DVD."
"Yeah, well, you keep saying your videotapes are wearing out or that Rory keeps taking them. And can I just say there are far more versions of this thing than there should be? I had to get the woman at the store to help me. Apparently, there's this version and one with that girl from that pirate movie you love and another one in black and white and one with people dancing and another one with Mormons."
"Mormons?"
"Don't ask. But this is the right one, right? This is the one where the fruity looking guy walks around like something's crawled up his ass until he jumps into that pond?"
Lorelai smiled, enjoying Luke's interpretation of Jane Austen, but her smile faded fast. "Luke…Luke, I didn't get you anything."
She waited, half hoping he would get mad at her.
"We should go," he said quickly, and they were out the door and heading toward Miss Patty's before Lorelai knew what had happened.
---
"People, people it's only a suggestion," Taylor said, banging his gavel and trying to get the townspeople to settle down after announcing his latest proposal for town beautification.
"This is, by far, the stupidest idea you've ever had, Taylor," Gypsy said dryly from the front row.
"Now, everyone, there's no need to be rude. All I'm saying is what's wrong with wanting to put an end to a disgusting practice?"
Luke and Lorelai entered in the rear and took their seats without a word. Lorelai could not get Luke to look at her. Instead, she turned her attention to the fiasco in front of them.
"You honestly think you can outlaw chewing gum from town?" Andrew asked incredulously.
"I'm not saying it's going to be easy," Taylor replied, "but if we all work together –"
Miss Patty interrupted him. "Oh, Taylor, you're just annoyed that the Banyan boys keep leaving their used pieces of gum in front of your store."
"It's a matter of public safety, Patty. Someone could accidentally step in it and –"
"Be unable to move?" Jackson suggested. "That is unsafe."
"If that's the way you all feel," Taylor said, gesturing with his gavel, "but mark my words: First it's chewing gum, and then…oh, then comes the hard stuff."
"Like what? Lifesavers?" Babette asked.
Lorelai could no longer pay attention to the scene in front of her. The last thing she heard was Kirk wondering out loud if gum really was a gateway candy.
"Luke?"
"You're gonna miss the meeting," he told her, staring straight ahead.
"Luke, look at me," she pleaded.
He turned, reluctantly, with a look on his face that clearly said the last thing he wanted right now was to be in the middle of yet another fight with her.
"Luke, I'm…" She couldn't find the words. "Do you want a snack?
"Do I what?" The anger in his voice was just audible.
"Are you hungry? I brought food."
"I'm taking you to dinner as soon as this ridiculous thing is over. Why do you still keep doing this?"
"Come on, Luke. When have I not brought food to a town meeting? Here," she said, fishing in her purse, "I got you a peach."
She placed a perfectly ripe peach in his hand and took out another for herself. Luke stared at her.
"What are you eating?" he asked.
"Same as you," she answered cheerfully and took a big juicy bite.
"Where are the Red Vines?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. You wanted Red Vines?"
"No," he said. "Of course not. I'm talking about you. I've never seen you go to a town meeting or – hell – go anywhere without a box of Red Vines in your purse. You made me stop at a 7-11 on our wedding day just so you could get some before the reception."
Lorelai smiled innocently. "I guess I just didn't feel like Red Vines tonight."
"But…but," Luke stammered, "you're eating a peach. I can't remember the last time I saw you ingest any kind of fruit that wasn't covered in chocolate."
"I eat fruit on occasion."
"When do you ever eat fruit?"
"I do when I'm pregnant," she said quietly. "Apparently, this time it's peaches." She waited for him to say something, but the look in Luke's eyes was enough. "Luke?"
He just kept watching her, taking every inch of her in, the corners of his mouth slowly rising, his shoulders trembling slightly.
"Uh, excuse me," came Taylor's loud voice from behind the podium up front. "Excuse me?"
Every head turned to the back of the room to find Luke and Lorelai just staring at each other. Almost everyone had their hands raised as well.
"Yea or nay, you two?" Taylor asked impatiently.
"What?" Luke said annoyed, taking his eyes off his wife for only the briefest of seconds.
"Yea or nay?"
"Yea," Luke said, returning his gaze to Lorelai.
"Yea, right back at ya, babe," Lorelai whispered. She had only to tilt her head to the side before Luke leaned forward to deliver a kiss neither of them had any intention of pulling away from first.
Babette let out a whooping sound. A few others clapped. Taylor, however, was of a different mind.
"We have decency laws in this town for a reason, people!"
"Oh, shut it, Taylor!" Gypsy said.
fin