A/n: I just had to put some of these "Shakespearean insults" I found in this story! Enjoy!

Chapter 6:

Let the Insults Fly

"Well, to be perfectly honest, this is the first time I have ever been here." Bassanio said looking towards Adam for suggestions.

"This is my first time to," he said shrugging, "Let's just see what the city has to offer." He suggested.

Emma shrugged and walked around the sharp corner of a building, before she even knew what was happening she was on the ground with her long hair in a puddle. She stood up slightly irritated and met the eyes of the plump man who had knocked her down.

"Well, are you going to say 'excuse me'?" Emma said, annoyed at his rudeness.

"Get out of my way you greasy onion-eyed canker-blossom!" The fat man yelled blowing dreadfully bad breath right into Emma's face.

Emma looked surprised, but that surprised look melted away into anger and annoyance, she countered his insult, "Watch were you're going you ill-mannered tub of guts!"

A small crowd gathered around them to watch the word brawl, "Emma just walk away," Bassanio tried to say but was ignored when the fat man once again insulted Emma.

"Thou art a bootless ill-natured giglet!"

"Oh yah? Well, thou art a yeasty clay-brained codpiece!"

The fat man puffed up at this comment, "Thou art a spongy weather bitten measle!"

"You goatish flap-mouthed mold wrap!"

"Thou bawdy base-coat cutpurse!"

"You spleeny rabbit-sucking death-token!"

"Thou un-muzzled sheep-biting flap dragon!"

"Yah, okay, you greedy boil-brained whey-face!"

"Thou art a wenching folly-fallen pigeon egg!"

"You are an artless dog-hearted boar!"

"Thou art a reekey hasty-witted barnacle!"

"What was THAT? A stupid sailor insult; you wayward toad-spotted hugger-mugger!"

The fat man puffed again making himself look like a frightened blowfish, "Thou art a SAUCY COMMON-KISSING STRUMPET!" he screamed. The crowd around them, which had grown considerably, took in a deep breath and leaned back waiting for Emma's response.

Emma's eye's widened from the insult. That one hit a little below the bell for her, she turned to Bassanio and Adam who both had the same facial expression as the surrounding crowd. "Did he just call me a strumpet!"

Adam and Bassanio were tongue tied and absolutely scared to death of what Emma would do next. With eyes still wide they nodded. "That's what I thought he said." Said Emma unusually calm. She turned to the fat man with a devilish smirk.

"Strumpet am I you stupid, VAIN, FAT-kidney," She stumbled over the last word but it soon came to her, it was the most offensive thing to say to ANYONE from this time period, the words belted from her mouth, "FOOT-LICKER!"

Everyone in the crowd had a horrified look on their face; the women covered their children's ears and eased them away from the crowd. Somewhere in the now large crowd and old lady fainted! Even the men were strangely horrified at the profanity coming from this lovely young lady.

But the reaction of the crowd was nothing compared to the look on the fat man's face. His beady eyes looked as if they were to pop out of his head at any moment. His spit-incrusted mouth was open wider than that of a yawning hippo. His silence was very reassuring to Emma's success that ended this battle of words. She flashed another evil smirk at the fat man while cocking her head to one side.

"Have you had enough you greasy ill-breading buffoon?"

He was still mortified at the fact that a mere girl beat him in a war of words. He turned and with a head hung down low, and backed away from the 'war ground'. When his rather plump figure had disappeared off into the distance a loud cheer came from the crowd! Emma took a bow and proudly walked off with her two men following close behind.

When the crowd had dispersed Bassanio came up to Emma's right side and said, "Wow! I can't believe what you said to that man!" Adam joined the conversation on her left side, "Neither can I! I mean for once the words coming out of your mouth were useful!" Emma laughed, "Well, you try going to a public school in the 21st century and we'll see how good you get at countering insults!"

Adam and Bassanio stopped walking and looked at each other in puzzlement. "What does she mean by the 21st century?" Bassanio asked.

"She must be insane." Adam answered.