The Wedding Chronicles
Acepilot

AN - This is the (very brief) third chapter of the Wedding Chronicles. Thanks to all of you who got through the marathon second chapter. Your bravery is appreciated. This chapter is honestly not quite all it could have been, but I'm fairly happy with the end result. I could be a lot less so, anyway.

Disclaimer - The AGU characters are property of KlaskyCsupo.

It's the walls that threw me.

When, almost fifteen minutes ago now, I first woke up, there was nothing especially wrong. I was tucked safe in Phil's embrace, my head slotted into the crook of his neck. I felt warm, at ease. I just wanted to curl up and go back to sleep, savor in the warmth, feeling safe, secure, and complete. My body ached pleasantly and I almost wanted to chuckle at the memory of how last night had gone, how we'd ravaged each other, how we'd played and held each other and caressed each other and...it had been perfect.

But then I noticed the walls.

The walls in my bedroom are dark green. They've been dark green for three and a half years now. They got painted not long after I moved in, we had to sleep on the couch for a week because of the stupid fumes.

But the walls here are that sickening shade of hotel-off-white.

And with that thought, the fact that I'm lying next to Phil DeVille becomes all that bit more complicated.

Because Phil DeVille, no matter how right he makes me feel at the moment, is not the man who I should be lying next to. I should be in the embrace of my fiance, if anyone. Actually, I shouldn't have woken up with anyone this morning. This is my wedding day, after all.

Which just sends the fact that I'm with Phil this morning spiraling even further out of control. Not only have I woken up with Phil DeVille, a man with whom I have built a relationship based on mistrust and pain, but I have also woken up next to another man on my wedding day. I've cheated on my fiance.

So why does it feel so right? Why does it feel like I could happily curl up and be with him forever? Like this wasn't my wedding day, but just some other lazy morning. I could lie here with him, let the sun creep in through the window and simply let the world take care of itself for a day.

But I can't. We can't.

I watch him sleeping, carefully. I never have, before. When he was in hospital, I couldn't bare to. I spent the entire time he was there rushing around, getting drinks, calling people, exploring - anything other than sitting there watching him breathe, dead to the world. So close to death it was frightening me.

But now, all I can see is him asleep. For once without the shields raised, for once not troubled by the difficulties of his life. Not worried by depression, or by alcohol, or by anything else that plagues him. I wonder if he has happy dreams, despite the horrors of his life.

I want to blame him for what happened four years ago. But it gets more difficult by the second.

And I don't know if I can look him in the eye knowing what I did to him.

And, I realize, what I've done again.

Because, as perfect as this is, this is my wedding day. How can I lie here and be with him when I'm meant to be marrying someone else?

How can I marry someone else when Phil and Phil alone makes me feel this good? Feels this natural, feels this right to be with?

I don't know.

I don't know why I expected to wake up next to her.

It's only just now seven o'clock and her side of the bed's already cold. She must have gotten up and left early. To spare the same scene as last time, perhaps?

Maybe this is time to let her go. To put her behind me. To shed that part of my life.

But I can't. Because I've come to far. It's gone on too long.

But she's marrying someone else today. And where does that leave me? The man who fell in love with her too late and will never be able to shake her. A hopeless, luckless loser.

Pretty apt.

I roll over and stare at my tux hanging in the back of the door. My tux.

For her wedding.

And my eyes grow a little mistier.

i told you it was brief. please review.