DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE POTC CHARACTERS

I hate doing that! Cpt-jack-bonnie-lass and me watched POTC for ages the other nite it was brilliant! Only I got a wee bit annoyed when we watched all the extras to see Kate Bosworth on the set of Pirates!

But any way this is another one-shot bit lighter hearted than usual

ENJOY!

Will Turner sat in the back garden of his home in Port Royal. The noise around him had disappeared and he became suspicious of what could have happened. Quietly he made his way to the front of the house to see Captain Jack Sparrow being attacked by three little monsters.

"Lily, Rebecca, Daniel get off Jack and go and play pirates somewhere else!" Will looked at a dishevelled Jack. His bandana was off, as was his hat, jacket and his sword.

"Bloody hell Will! What did you do to them kids? Their like, well I don't know what their like!" Will couldn't help but laugh at Jack trying to organise himself outside the Turner household. Will took Jack into the living room of the house. Not much had changed since the last time he was there, except the children had grown up a bit.

"Where is your darling wife then eh?" Jack walked around the living room studying the trinkets on the mantelpiece

"Upstairs with Ebony. Elizabeth is showing the new nanny around, it's too much for her to watch the monsters and the baby"

"For God's sake Will! Maybe it would be better if you were a eunuch!" Another baby! Bloody hell! They're breeding like rabbit's! Next thing it will be Turner's taking over the world!

Will just laughed.

Elizabeth reached the bottom of the stairs to here a familiar voice coming from the living room.

"Jack!"

"'Allo luv" Jack hugged Elizabeth who seemed to be hugging him so tight he could barely breath

"Sit, sit! Where's Ana?"

"Ah, well that's a really funny story. Ana and me, well we had a little falling out and she chucked me off of me ship"

"She chucked you off of your own ship?" Will couldn't stop laughing all he could see was Ana leaving Jack stranded at some Port in the middle of nowhere

"Yes… well it's her ship as well. See Ana and me. Well when I was a little bit drunk… I married Ana, so technically the Pearl is half hers"

"You married AnaMaria? Are you telling me that the infamous Jack Sparrow actually got married? I don't believe it!" Elizabeth looked at Jack; she could see he wasn't joking

"Oh luv it gets better! My wonderful wife and me were havin' a little dispute 'bout wot we should call our child, when she got mad and chucked me off me own ship! Can you believe that? Says it's all me fault that she's fat and can't do anythin'. I mean she can do plenty when she can chuck me off of me own ship!"

"Ana's pregnant? How long has she got left if she thinks she's fat?" Elizabeth looked quite worried now

"'Bout a week maybe two, but that's not the point Mrs Turner. The point is that me ship is sailing round the Caribbean without me and an irate pregnant woman is in charge!" Jack was walking the living room looking slightly harassed

"Jack why don't you go down to the local bar and have a drink try and relax a bit, what do you say eh?" Will began to lead Jack out the door pushing money into his palm

"I think that's the best idea you've ever had Mr Turner!" Jack left the house in search of the nearest bar

"Will! What did you do that for?" Elizabeth wasn't impressed by Will's little stunt

"Well we need to find Ana right? And Jack would just get in the way right? So I sent him off to practice his favourite pastime" Will looked pleased with himself and reached for his coat

"You better not be going to join him William Turner!" Elizabeth shot Will a look showing she wasn't kidding. Her voice was stern

" I was actually going to get Commodore Norrington, so that his men could keep an eye out for the Pearl, then we could go get Mrs Sparrow"

"No need. I got bored hiding his ship from him" a heavily pregnant AnaMaria stood at the Turners open front door. Elizabeth went to help her in, and guided her through into the living room where Jack had previously been.

"That man would drive the dead mad! Do you know he wanted to call our baby SHIP! I mean I have heard him say some stupid things but call a baby SHIP now that is just mad! So I got mad and chucked him off the Pearl. That man! SHIP Sparrow! I mean to say" AnaMaria looked uncomfortable as she sat on the Turner's white couch. Elizabeth noticed her discomfort.

"Ana are you okay? You don't look so good"

" Well I've go a bit of pain across me stomach but it will be nothing. I've had it for a couple of hours now"

"Ana your in labour! Will go and get Doctor Brown will you. Tell him it's an emergency then go and get Jack!"

" You mean I'm havin' this baby just now?"

"Yes! Can you walk? You would be better upstairs" Elizabeth helped AnaMaria up the stairs to the guest room and waited for Doctor Brown to arrive. Instead thy got a breathless Will.

"Jack is down stairs starting to sober up, but Doctor Brown is tied up. Seven other women have gone into labour tonight and he can't keep up with them. He's running all over Port Royal trying to keep track, just after I left another four had started. Look's like your going to have to help her Elizabeth"

"Me? I just have them Will! You were the one who delivered Lily, Daniel and Ebony! And it was Jack who helped deliver Rebecca! I'm sorry Will but when it comes to delivering kid's you're better qualified than me!"

" But that's different Elizabeth I'm married to you!" Will was starting to panic he didn't really want to deliver someone else's baby; it was bad enough with his own.

"I'm sorry Will but AnaMaria needs you. I'm going to check on Jack and the monsters" Elizabeth left the room closing the door behind her.

"Elizabeth! How is my lovely wife? Is that nice Doctor I saw helping her?" Jack was sitting in the kitchen table with a bottle of rum in front of him. Elizabeth took it away from him and replaced it with a large glass of water

" You need to be sober for when this baby's born Jack and no the nice Doctor isn't helping Ana, Will is" Jack's jaw dropped. Will Turner is helping my wife have a baby? Well he does owe me; I mean I helped with one of his monsters!

Will came into the kitchen sweat dripping from his forehead. Elizabeth had left him and Ana in the room nearly five hours ago.

"Congratulations Jack! You're a dad! Ana's upstairs with the baby"

Jack peered his head round the door of the guest room. Lying on the bed was his beautiful wife and their child.

"What is it?" Jacks voice was so quite you could barely hear him

"A little girl Jack. She's beautiful isn't she?"

"Yes she is" Jack took his daughter and sat opposite AnaMaria

"I think that's if I'm allowed, this little girl should be called Tally. Tally Sparrow"

"That's a lot better than SHIP. I like it Tally Sparrow"

Will and Elizabeth stood outside the door watching Jack embark on his latest journey; fatherhood.

"God help that child"

"Why do you say that Will?"

"Well with those two as parents, she will be one strange kid"

Elizabeth laughed and the pair made their way down stairs leaving Jack with his family.

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