Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution. I do own Raven, Rachel, Twinkle and Lightning.

Reviews:

To kyo-kitty: Thank you. No, he's an only child. I can't do Cinderella because I don't own it. Snow White sounds hilarious, but I can't do that either, cause I don't own it on DVD and my VCR is broken. (pouts). Still I can sit it now: "Cyclops, Cyclops, on the wall, who's the fairest one of all." "Jean" "You're supposed to say me!" "No, actually, he's supposed to say Rogue." lol.

To Sweety8587: lol. I don't think Kitty likes the idea of being in the play with Raven and Lightning directing, that's all. Scott is just so perfect for that part. Can't you see it, Pyro beating up Scott the whole time. Sweet. . .

Remy Hood

Scene 1: Oo-De-Lally

Logan is growling at his chicken costume in the mirror. "They can't be serious." He starts to take it off, but his eyes fall on his signed, adamantium-lined contract. Completely unbreakable and he knows, because he tried, several times. . .

"Oh, don't you look cute," mocks Sabretooth.

"Look, bub," snikt goes Logan's claws. "You say one more word about the costume and Raven will have to find herself a new sheriff, if you get my drift."

"Break it up!" Raven yells from across the room. "Or, I'll have to do it for you!"

"And trust me! That won't be pretty!" Lightning yells.

Pyro is holding on to his flame thrower very tightly. "You aren't gonna take it away this time are ya, mate?"

"Only if you start another fire," Raven tells him. "Oh, and you can't have it during your scenes, either."

"But, but. . ."

"But, you can get it right back after them, if you promise to be good." Lightning finishes.

"I'll be good, I promise, just don't take me flame thrower away."

"I'll hold on to it for you." smiles Wanda threateningly. Torturing him is fast becoming her favorite pastime.

Pyro screams and runs off. Raven rolls her eyes.

Todd hops off after her, shouting, "Wait for me, my little sweetums!" At which Wanda stops chasing Pyro and starts running for her life.

"Oh, yeah, this is gonna be a blast. . ." Rogue says sarcastically to Kitty.

"Well, at least we, like, aren't in the first few scenes." Kitty answers while thinking about how nice Piotr looks in his dark green tunic.

Remy comes out in his Robin Hood outfit and walks up to Rogue. "Remy look magnifique, non?"

"More like ridicule, Swamp Rat." she lies. He really looks very good in the tight green outfit, but Rogue certainly doesn't want him to know that.

"Someone should learn how to express her true feelings, chere." Remy winks at her.

"Ah ain't your dear, Remy Lebeau!"

"Are they, like, like this in, like, your dimension?" Kitty asks Raven.

"Where do you think we get it?" Raven laughs, looking at Lightning, who laughs as well.

"So, there's, like, no hope for them, whatsoever, like, is there?"

"Um, no, not really." Raven grins, enjoying herself as Rogue starts picking up a cup of hot coffee and readying herself to throw it at him.

Lightning grabs her arm just in time. "Sorry, Rogue, but we can't afford the dry cleaning bills right now." Remy smirks at her and she walks off.

"Places People, let's go! Time for the first scene!" She grins. "Lights!" she calls and the lights turn on by themselves. "Camera!" The camera starts filming by itself. "Action!"

Lighting has found a huge book, the title of which reads, "X-Men Evolution Presents: Remy Hood!" The book is sitting on a pedestal. It opens by itself. In the book are the words, "Long ago, good King Charles of Bayville departed for the holy land on a great crusade. During his absence, Prince John his greedy and fire-obsessed brother, usurped the crown. Remy Hood was the people's only hope. He robbed from the rich to feed the poor. He was beloved by all the people of Bayville. Remy Hood and his merry men hid in Sherwood Forest."

The scene changes to Logan in his chicken outfit, sitting on a sign, holding a lute. "You know, bub, there's been a heap of legends and tall tales about Remy Hood." he growls. "All different too." He mutters under his breath, "At least I don't have to play his father in this one." Then goes back to the part he signed the contract to play, "Well, we folks of the X-Men kingdom have our own version. It's the story of what really happened in Sherwood Forest, bub." Then he starts walking and whistling

The camera zooms in on Prince John, staring at a camp fire. Then on Scott has he pokes his head out of a basket. Next is Rogue running into Remy's arms. Then onto Colossus, tasting a stew. Next is Kurt bending over the same pot. Followed by Kitty, knitting. Then, Sabretooth, tying a noose while, Lance and Toad sit on top of the gallows. Then back to Logan, who stops whistling and says, "Oh, incidentally, I'm James W. Logan, a minstrel." he growls the last word angrily. "That's an early-day folk singer, and my job is to tell it like it is, or was or whatever. Like I really care."

"Read your lines from the script, Logan!" Raven calls, waving the much hated contract.

He glares at her and starts singing badly, "Remy Hood and Little Piotr were walking through the forest . . ."

Remy and Piotr are seen walking through a forest, talking and laughing incoherently underneath Logan's singing. They try to walk across a log, but both fall into a pond. They start playing in the water and swimming. Sabretooth is shown dressed in a weird costume and funny hat watching them from the bushes. Sabretooth holding a sword up menacingly and Fred, Pietro, Beast, and Mastermind stand up holding bows and aiming arrows at Remy and Piotr. Remy and Piotr hold their hands up as if they surrender, but instead they drop underneath the water.

The next scene shows them running through the forest, jumping fences, dodging trees and trying to get away. The finally do by climbing up into a tree. The archers can't figure out where they disappeared too, and so Remy and Piotr have escaped. The song finally ends, much to everyone's delight. The archer's run off.

The scene changes to Remy and Piotr sitting in the tree. "You know something, Remy? You are taking too many chances." Piotr says as he pulls an arrow out of his tunic.

"Chances?" Remy says cockily, "You must be joking. T'at was just a bit of a lark, Little Piotr. Would someone tell Remy what 'lark' means?"

"Lark, noun, a small brownish songbird: a small songbird with brownish plumage, found worldwide and noted for its song. Family: Alaudidae." Hank supplies.

"Gee, that was informative. . ." Bobby says in a monotone voice.

"Let's just get back to the play." Raven sighs.

"Da?" Piotr says. "Take a look at your hat, comrade. That is not a candle on a cake."

Remy takes the hat off and sees an arrow sticking through it. "Hello. T'is one almost had Remy's name on it, didn't it? T'ey're getting better, you know." He takes the arrow out and puts his hat back on. "You've got to admit it, mon ami, T'ey are getting better."

Piotr breaks his arrow in two. "Huh, da. The next time that sheriff vill probably have a rope around our necks." He is laying on a huge branch. He sits up and places a hand around his own neck and makes a very unconvincing gagging noise. "Pretty hard to laugh hanging there, Rem."

Remy laughs, "T'e sheriff and his whole posse couldn't lift you off t'e ground. Engarde!" he says while throwing the arrow at Piotr's hat.

The arrow sticks the hat to the tree. Piotr pulls it off and plucks his hat off it. "Hey, vatch it, Rem. That is the only hat I have got."

"Oh, come along," Remy says, laying on the tree as well. "You worry too much, vieux garçon." (1)

"You know something, Rem. I vas just vondering. Are we good guys or bad guys? You know. I mean, uh, our robbing the rich to feed the poor." Piotr says, scratching his back with the arrow, though he doesn't know why. It doesn't help the itch anyway, but it's in the script.

"Rob?" Remy says in a shocked tone of voice while sitting up quickly as if he was offended. "T'at's a naughty word, mon ami. We never rob. We just . . .sort of borrow a bit from those who can afford it." There's a gleam in Remy's eyes, reminding the entire cast that he really is a thief.

"Borrow?" Piotr asks. "Boy, are ve in debt."

Offstage, Tabby blows a horn, borrowed from the Sleeping Beauty set. Remy sits up eagerly. He climbs higher in the tree and listens. He chuckles. "T'at sounds like anot'er collection day for t'e poor. Eh, Piotr?"

"Da. Sweet charity." Piotr says.

Through the woods, a line of Jaime clones is seen marching through the forest, along with Fred, Beast, Mastermind, and Pietro. The last four carry a trunk. Several Jaime clones pull a coach along. In the lead is Warren, holding a flag, who is followed closely by Tabby and her horn.

Inside the coach sit Pyro and Scott. Pyro, wearing a red robe and a crown that is falling off his head, is playing in the bags of chocolate coins that they are using for gold. "Taxes!" He says, laughing his insane laughter. "Taxes! Beautiful, lovely taxes! Almost as beautiful as fire!" Raven and Lightning decide to let that comment go on the basis that his character is supposed to be fire-obsessed.

Scott sits on a pillow, looking like he wishes he were somewhere, anywhere else. "Sire," he says grudgingly, "you have an absolute skill for encouraging contributions from the poor." He tries to chuckle, but it comes out very fake.

Pyro however, is really getting into his part. "To coin a phrase, me dear counselor, rob the poor to feed the rich." He laughs as the joke. "Am I right?" He leans over to Scott and elbows him a little harder than it calls for. The crown falls off. Scott laughs like a person does when they don't think something's funny. "Tell me, what's the next stop, Sir Scott?" Pyro picks up the crown and looks at it. One of the jewels reminds him of a fire.

Scott goes over to a map. "Uh, let me see. . . Uh, I. . . Oh, yes, the next stop is Nottingham, sire." he spits out the last word. Then, he goes and gets a mirror to hold up for Pyro.

"Oh! The richest plum of them all!" Pyro says happily. He places the crown back on his head. "Nottingham." He laughs evilly. The crown falls down into his eyes.

"A perfect fit, sire," Scott says sarcastically. "Most becoming. You look regal, dignified, sincere, masterful, noble, chival. . ."

Pyro cuts him off. "Uh, uh, don't. Don't overdo it, Scott." Pyro is immensely enjoying this. He replaces the crown correctly. "There. That, I believe, does it. This crown gives me a feeling of power! Power! Forgive me a cruel chuckle." He gives a cruel chuckle. "Power. Hmm. Fire."

"And how well King Charles' crown sits on your noble brow." Scott drones.

Pyro grabs the mirror. "Doesn't it? Uh, King Charles? I've told you never to mention my brother's name!" He strangles Scott.

"A, A mere slip of the tongue, Your Majesty." Scott says as soon as he stops coughing. "We're in this plot together, if you don't mind my saying so." Scott glares at Raven and Lightning who are both grinning wickedly at him.

Lightning whispers in her ear, "If the kiss-up fits. . ." She laughs.

"And remember, it was your idea I hypnotized him and . . ." Scott continues.

"I know." Pyro says, cutting him off. "And sent him off on that crazy crusade." They both laugh.

"Much to the sorrow of the Queen Mother." Scott says.

"Yes! Mother." Pyro says sadly. "Mother always did like Charles best. Do I really have to do the next part, mate?" he begs.

"Yes!" The directors say at the same time.

Pyro mutters, but sticks his thumb in his mouth and suck on it. His other hand grasps his ear.

"Your highness, please don't do that. If you don't mind me saying so, you see, you have a very loud thumb. Hypnotism could rid you of your . . .psychosis. . ." He pulls out a watch.

"What in the bloody world is psychosis?" Pyro asks.

"A loss of contact with reality." Raven says, before Hank can define it fully. "Now, go back to sucking your thumb!"

He does. "so . . . easily." Scott starts waving the watch back and forth in front of Pyro's eyes.

Pyro starts to fall under the spell of the shiny watch, but then realizes what Scott is doing and swats his hand away. "No! None of that! None of that."

"Well, I was only trying to help."

Pyro laughs, "I wonder, silly cyclops."

"'Silly cyclops'?" Scott sounds hurt.

"Now look here." Pyro says, looking in the mirror again. "One more word out of you, Scott, and you are walking to Nottingham."

Scott turns around and mumbles something that almost sounds like a retort.

"And cut!" Raven calls. "Well, it was not good."

"It wasn't that bad." Lightning says.

"Are we really going to have this same old argument again?" she asks.

"Yes." he nods his head.

"I'm not in the mood." she says and waves her hand at him, sending him through the brick wall with her telekinesis. The cast should have been shocked and worried about him, but they are starting to get used to it.

He gets up and dusts himself off. "Well, that was painful."

"I could make it worse."

"Well, you could try." He taunts her. She turns on him angrily. The rest of the cast run and hide. Even Lightning look a little worried.

I suggest we run and hid with the cast. . .

A/N: Well, that was fun, next is the Robbing of Prince John. . .lol. . . Hope you enjoy it, please review.

Translation:

(1) "old boy."