Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution. I do own Raven, Rachel, Twinkle and Lightning.
Reviews:
To kyo-kitty: Thank you very much. Rachel looks normal. She has Remy's hair, only really long, and Rogue's eyes. Who wouldn't get into a part where you get to beat Scott up all the time?
To Cat2Fat900: Cookies and Pixie Stix. . . sounds like a good meeting. Lol. Thanks a lot. :) Do you know what you made me do today? I passed Pixy Stix in the store and bought a bag, when I haven't had them since high school . . . Now, I'm going to have a sugar rush all night. . .
To Crash Slayer: Who knows where they found it. Piotr was in a dress because Little John was in the movie. I've said that very thing, every time I watch this movie. Well, lucky charms can also just be things like rabbit's feet and four leaf clovers. . . It is a funny word. Which is why Jean overreacted. . .I'm sure they had trouble doing that one. . .Mind out of gutter. Lol. I know, I hate EvoScott. Once again, mind out of gutter. Lol. I'm glad Scott abuse makes you so happy. I think Kitty might be buying pictures off of Pietro. . .Ah, Scott, I loved giving him the part of Sir Hiss. . . Don't worry, no more drag in the movie. As for the party, What party? Do you mean the SFWD meeting? Of course you can come, as long as you believe in evil flame-throwing squirrels taking over the world and want to help them. . . CF and I would be glad for you to join us.
To SugahDevil: Thank you. I plan on it, but I haven't decided which one. . . It depends on whether or not I can get a new VCR this weekend. . . Maybe Snow White. Anything to get Rogue in a dress. Lol.
To el diablo: Thank you very much.
Remy Hood
Scene 3: Does Anyone Know It's Bobby Bunny's Birthday? (1)
When Raven and Lightning walk in, they are silent. Raven is clearly ignoring Lightning.
"What happened to you two?" Bobby asks Lightning.
"You know that fight we had yesterday?"
"Which one?" Ray asks.
Lightning rolls his eyes. "Let's just says Raven never forgets anything, just like an elephant." He says the last part rather loudly.
"Oh, so now I'm an elephant, am I?" she shouts.
"I knew that would get you to talk to me again." Her response to this is to slap him, turn around in a big huff and walk to her director's chair. She sits down and glares at nothing in particular. "Ravie," he pleads. "It was one little comment."
"Oh, so you still think I'm mad over what you said? I am a telepath you know!"
"Please, I said I was sorry."
"Do I look like I care?"
Kitty watches on in disbelief and turns to Piotr, "And I thought Rogue and Gambit were bad. . ."
"Da." he returns.
"What exactly did ya mean by that, Kitty?" Rogue asks, angry. "Gambit and I aren't a couple."
"Coulda fooled me." Jean mutters.
"You take that back, Jean Grey!" Rogue shouts.
"Great, now you all had to go and upset ma chere." Remy says, narrowing his eyes and fingering a card gingerly.
"For the last time, Remy Lebeau, Ah ain't your chere!" she yells and runs off to her dressing room to calm down. Lying always makes her very angry.
"Alright, that's enough! I'm sick of listening to you whine and them fight!" Raven shouts as she points, first to Lightning and then to Kitty, Piotr, Jean and Remy. "Places! Lights! Camera! Action!"
The camera focuses first on a wanted poster of Remy, beautifully painted by the one and only Piotr Rasputin. The poster is hanging on a tree and says it will pay one thousand pounds. From behind the tree, pokes Logan in his chicken suit, playing his lute, "Well, even though Prince John offered a huge reward for the capture of Remy Hood, that elusive rogue, no offense Stripes."
"None taken," she says, having left the dressing room.
"Ahem." Raven says glaring.
So Logan goes back to his sentence, "that elusive rogue kept right on robbing the rich to feed the poor. And believe me, it's a good thing he did," the camera zooms in on "surprise!" Duncan Matthews in a stockade, with Taryn Fujioka feeding him some sort of soup which Kitty made. Duncan looks very ill. "'cause what with taxes and all, the poor folks of Nottingham were starving to death. Don't look so smug Sabretooth!" Sabretooth growls in return. A fight looks inevitable.
"People, today, is not the day to make Raven mad!" Lightning calls. Sabretooth and Logan both growl at him, but stand down.
The camera zooms in on Jean Luc Lebeau and Scott's friend Paul in another stockade. It zooms quickly to a lane where Sabretooth is strutting. "Uh-oh," Logan snarls. "Here comes old bad news himself," and he isn't acting, "I am not calling him honorable!"
"It's a title! Not a compliment!" Raven screams in rage. Everyone backs slightly from her. "Sorry, I'm better now," she says calmly. "Let's get on with it."
"Okay," Logan says, deciding it was better to just stick to the script. "The Honorable Sheriff Sabretooth."
Sabretooth is singing, unwillingly. Forge, Raven and Lightning had installed a electric shock device to his costume. "Every town, has it's taxes too. . ." He continues until he sees Kurt, dressed as a monk, coming out of a door. "Well, lookie there," he growls. "Friar Kurt, the old do-gooder. He out doing good again."
Kurt walks quickly to another door, looking around to see if he was followed. Then, walks into the building. Inside is Ray, wearing a cast on his right leg, leaning against a crutch and banging a piece of hot metal against an anvil with a very large sledge hammer. "Well, good morning, Friar Kurt." Ray says.
"Shh, Ray. Shh. For you, Ray, from Remy Hood." He chuckles as he pulls out a small bag of chocolate coins.
Ray takes the bag eagerly. "Oh, God Bless Remy Hood."
The Sheriff walks closer to the door, singing once again. He knocks on the door. Through the door, Sabretooth can hear Kurt's voice, "It's ze sheriff! Hurry, Hide it! Quick!"
"Here I come. Ready or not." snarls Sabretooth, opening the door and stepping inside. "Well, greetings from your friendly neighborhood tax collector." An evil grin forms on Sabretooth's face. He rubs his hands together.
Ray rubs his sides as if in pain. Kurt is holding a pair of tongs, which hold what looks like a red hot horseshoe, over the anvil. "Oh, take it easy on me, Sheriff, w-what with this busted leg and all, you know." He holds his broken leg up. "I, I'm way behind in me work, Sheriff."
Sabretooth, who is leaning a hand on the door, says, "I know, Ray, but you're way behind with your taxes too." He points at him accusingly.
Kurt turns to Sabretooth, "Oh, have a heart, Sheriff." He walks over to a rocking chair. "Can't you see he's laid up? Come on, Ray. You'd better sit down and rest."
Ray starts limping over to the chair. The camera focuses on his cast while Jubilee bounces some change in her hand near the mic. "Oh, thank you. Yes."
Sabretooth perks up an ear and puts a hand behind it, a big grin on his evil face. "Let me give you a hand with that leg," he says as Ray sits in the chair, with Kurt behind it, steadying it. Sabretooth has found a footstool and brings it over. He picks up Ray's cast and lifts it way into the air. "Upsa-daisy. Bingo!" he says as coins fall out of the cast into his waiting hand. "Ah, what they won't think of next." He pats the bottom of the cast, causing Ray to wince and cry out in pain. Apparently, Bobby put a thorn in the bottom earlier as a prank. More coins fall out of the cast. "It smarts, don't it, don't it, Ray? Who talks like this?" ZAP! Sabretooth starts twitching as tons of electricity flows through his body. "Okay, I'll be good, Mommy. . ." he mumbles, almost incoherently, before returning to his senses. "But Prince John says that Taxes should hurt."
Kurt raises his fists high above his blue furry head and says angrily, "Now see here, you . . . you evil, flint-hearted leech!"
"Oh, that's a good one," Tabby exclaims.
"Now, now, now, now! Save your sermon, preacher. It ain't Sunday, you know." He walks away, laughing and singing to himself. "They call me a slob, but I do my job . . ."
The scene changes to a little cottage, where several small Jaime clones, Jubilee, and Amara are singing Happy Birthday to Bobby. Jean is there, wearing a black, long sleeve dress and a gray apron, a maroon scarf that clashing against her red hair, and a pair of overly- large glasses. In other words, she looks ridiculous. Jubilee is wearing a very short orange dress, with little lacy socks and shoes, and a big matching bow in her hair, to make her look like a teenager pretending to be a little girl Amara, who is scowling, is wearing a footed, blue sleeper and holding a bunny rag doll. The Jaime clones are all dancing around to the song and Jean, Jubilee, Bobby, and Amara are standing around watching them. Jean hands Bobby a present.
Sabretooth comes bounding through the door, and sings the last line, "Happy Birthday to you!" All the Jaime clones stop dancing and huddle around Jean. Bobby holds his present closely. "Well, now, sonny, that box is done up right pretty, ain't it?"
Bobby says politely, "Well, Mr. Sheriff, sir, it's my birthday present, sir."
"It sure is. Why don't you open it?"
Bobby sits down and opens the present, "Oh boy! One whole farthing!" He tips the box over to pour it out, but it lands in Sabretooth's hands. Bobby looks like he's about to cry.
"Have you no heart?" Jean cries.
"I coulda told you that." Logan groans.
Jean glares at him for interrupting her very first line. "We all scrimped and saved to give it to him." Jubilee and Amara come out from hiding behind her to nod their heads in agreement.
"Now that's mighty thoughty of you, widder woman." He says, truly enjoying making fun of Jean. "The family that saves together pays together." A tear drops falls from Bobby's eyes as Pietro has just squirted lemon juice in them. "Oh, now, don't take it so hard, sonny." He pats Bobby on the head. "Prince John wishes you a happy birthday too."
Just then, an old, blind beggar stumbles into their door. "Alms, alms, alms for the poor."
Sabretooth is holding the coin in his hand. A villainous look flashes in his eyes, "Hmm, well." He chuckles and tosses the coin hard into the beggar's cup. It hits the bottom and bounces back up into the air, causing several other coins to do so as well. The family gasps. "Well, so far it's been a cheerful morning. Keep saving." He walks out of their house.
Jean walks towards the beggar who is shaking the empty cup, "What a dirty trick. You poor old man. Do come in. Come in and rest yourself." She starts leading him to a chair.
"T'ank ye kindly, Mot'er. T'ank ye. Tell me now. Did me old ears hear someone singing a birt'day ditty?" asks the old man.
Bobby is crying very hard, because the lemon juice is burning his eyes. "Yes, sir. And that mean old sheriff took my birthday present."
"Did he now? But be a stout'earted little lad, and don't let it get ya down." He lifts his glasses, revealing a pair of red-on-black eyes."
Pietro comes and super speedily washes the lemon juice from Bobby's eyes. Bobby stops crying, but looks murderously at Pietro. "Gee whiz! It's Remy Hood!"
Remy removes his costume and stands up. "Happy birt'day, son!"
Jubilee speaks up, "Oh, he's so handsome, just like his reward posters." Bobby glares at her.
"Tell me, jeune homme, (2) how old are you today?"
"Gosh, I'm seven years old, going on eight." Bobby then glares at Raven and Lightning, who are both smiling at him annoyingly.
"Seven? Well, t'at does make you t'e man of t'e house, and Remy got just t'e right present for you." He pulls out a bow and one arrow.
"For me?" ask Bobby with a mischievous grin on his face. "Gee, thanks, Mr. Remy Hood, sir. Hey, how do I look? Huh?" He pulls back the arrow in the bow and poses for his "sisters."
Amara has been standing with her thumb in her mouth, but she now pulls it out. "Not much like Mr. Remy Hood."
"She's right," Remy says. "T'ere is somet'ing missing." He gasps, "Of course!" He takes of his hat and plops it onto Bobby's head. The hat, being Remy's size, is slightly larger than Bobby's head. "T'ere you go."
"Boy, oh, boy, Now how do I look?" Bobby asks the girls again.
The girls giggle and Jubilee says to Amara, "The hat's too big."
"Shh! Mind your manners," Jean says.
"Yes, mind your manners." Amara says with her hands on her hips.
Remy chuckles, "Don't worry. You'll grow into it, jeune homme."
"Oo-de-lally! I'm gonna go try it out!" He races off.
"Good-bye, Mr. Remy Hood!" waves Amara as she follows Bobby. "Come again, on my birthday."
Jean laughs, "Oh, you have made his birthday a wonderful one." She pats his arm and Remy shrugs her off. "How can I ever thank you?" She clasps her hands together.
"Remy only wish he could do more." He says, taking out a bag of chocolate coins and giving them to her. "Voici. (3) And keep your chin up. Someday t'ere'll be happiness again in Nottingham. You'll see." he puts his beggar outfit back on. He walks out.
"Oh, Remy Hood," Jean sighs. "You've risked so much to keep our hopes alive. Bless you. Bless you." There are tears in Jean's eyes as she pinches herself very hard.
"And cut!" Raven says.
"I'm gonna kill you, Pietro!" Bobby yells and starts chasing Pietro around and shooting spears of ice at him.
"Bobby, would you knock it off, before you kill someone?" Jubilee yells at him after he almost hits her with an ice spear.
"He sprayed lemon juice in my eyes!" Bobby screams.
"Hey, Iwasheditout!" yells Pietro.
"Raven, please listen to me," Lightning says through the ruckus.
"Don't have to. Don't want to." she says, trying to leave.
"Ah don't want ta hear it, Remy Lebeau!" Rogue is yelling as well.
Jean shrugs, "Like mother, like daughter."
Both Raven and Rogue turn on her at that comment. "Jean Grey! Prepare to die!" They say and both start to chase her around the room.
Scott shudders and starts whimpering, "Now that is even scarier than when her and Lightning do it."
"I hear ya, bub." Logan shudders as well.
"Well, Rogue certainly can't deny her. . ." Hank says as they finally reach Jean, who is screaming. Both of them start beating her up.
"Must be zat time of ze month," Kurt whispers.
"What did you say?" Kitty asks, offended. Piotr is standing behind and converting to metal form. His fist hits his hand.
"Uh, nozing?" (4)
This is a very good time to leave them, until the next fight, uh, I mean until the next time. . . That's right, until next time.
A/N: Well, hope you enjoyed reading this one. Next time, Bobby tries out his new arrow and it lands in Prince John's backyard! Fortunately, he isn't home, but Rogue and Kitty are. . .Review please!
(1) If anyone actually knows where I got that title you get a invisible pie. . . (I changed the name, though)
Translation:
(2)"young man"
(3)"here"
(4) "nothing"