Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution. I do own Raven, Rachel, Twinkle and Lightning.
Reviews:
To kyo-kitty: Thank you very much. Kurt has another speaking part this chapter. :)
To Cat2Fat900: Thank you very much and chapter 3 awaits us. . .ugh. . . lol. SFWD!
To Nightshade-89: Thank you. No, you aren't. Good luck at the Dog Show.
To Tigerlilly1234: Aren't they fun. :) Thank you.
To Lyrit Liltrick: Yes, I found a place for him. Precisely my take on it. Eww.
To Invisible Stranger: Thank you. I'm not sure about it, but I've never seen Ella Enchanted.
To Crash Slayer, el diablo, Chica De Los Ojos Cafe, and Sugah Devil: Thank you very much.
Remy Hood
Scene 5: Undying Love
Raven and Lightning walk right in during a rather big fight.
"Ah swear Swamp Rat, the only reason Ah ain't draining ya dry is Ah don't want your filthy Cajun thoughts in my head!" Rogue says, slapping him hard and stomping off to her dressing room. Kitty follow her in.
"Can't you take a compliment like a lady, cherie?" Remy says, holding his face and walking towards her dressing room. He is met with a slammed door and a friendly Russian shaking his head.
"You have got it bad, comrade." Piotr says to him.
"No worse t'an you over a certain Valley Girl who shall remain nameless." He glares at the locked door as if he could burn holes through it with his eyes. During this, Raven and Lightning have both found bags of popcorn and are watching intently. "Is it really t'at obvious, mon amie?"
Piotr nods. "Uh huh, I have seen you flirt vith other women, but you never let them treat you like this."
Remy shrugs, "Remy just t'ink Rogue be worth in t'e end."
Meanwhile, inside the dressing room, Rogue is ranting to Kitty, "Why does he have ta be so . . . so freaking cute! Ah mean here Ah am trying ta spare his feelings, what with my powers and all, and he just won't give up!"
"I don't know, Rogue, why not, like, give him a chance?" Kitty says. "He is awfully romantic."
"Whateveh! Ah can't give him a chance, because, because. . . well you know why!" Rogue sighs.
"Yeah, well Piotr told me, he's never, like, acted this way before."
"Probably cause Ah'm just some new challenge. . ."
"How can you, like, say that! With Raven right outside this door!" Kitty says, pointing at said door.
Rogue sighs, "Ah'm scared too. . . Ah'm afraid of falling in love. . . and neveh being able ta touch him. . ."
Kitty giggles. "Well, obviously there are, like, some ways around your powers. . . Remember, like, in Raven's dimension, she's, like, not an only child either."
Back to Raven and Lightning, who have finished their popcorn. "Well that was sweet and romantic." Lightning declares. Raven had been projecting Rogue and Kitty's conversation into his head.
"Yes, but let's get to work. Places people! Rogue and Gambit can settle their little lover's quarrel after the scene!" Raven calls.
"It's not a lover's quarrel if we ain't a couple!" Rogue yells.
"Yeah, right." says the entire cast, minus Scott, Gambit, and Rogue of course. Scott screams and curls up into a fetal position.
"Okay. . ." drones Raven. "Lights! Camera! Action!"
Rogue is seen looking out of the window of a tall rose-vine-covered tower. She hums and dances around the room, which happens to be a bedroom. Kitty sits in a rocking chair, knitting and watching her, "Ah me. Like, young love." She sighs and gives Piotr a meaningful glance. "Oh, it's, like totally, a grand thing."
Rogue stops twirling long enough to open a wardrobe with a wanted poster of Remy Hood tacked on the inside. "Oh, Kitty, surely he must know how much Ah still love him."
Kitty stops knitting, "But of course, my dear. Like, believe me, someday soon, like, your uncle, King Charles, will have an outlaw for, like, an in-law." She giggles.
Rogue does too, but she refuses to glance in Remy's direction. She can feel his eyes on her. "Oh, Kitty, but when? When?"
"As soon as you stop slamming doors in Remy's face." Remy says pointedly.
"Shut up, Swamp Rat! Ah'm trying ta act!" Rogue says furious.
"Was it really acting, t'ough, mon amoure?" he says with a wicked gleam in his Cajun eyes.
"Okay, that's enough!" Raven yells. "Back to the play!"
Kitty holds up what was supposed to be a blanket, but looks more like a pot holder that's been tossed in the washer before it was sealed. "Oh, patience, my dear. Patience." She sticks her tongue out at the blanket. "I hate knitting," she pouts.
"Kitty!" Lightning warns.
"Remember absence, like, makes the heart grow fonder." Kitty says, wagging her finger at Rogue.
Rogue holds her hands together and looks down sadly, "or forgetful." She sighs and walks back towards the window. "Oh, Ah've been away so long. What if he's forgotten all about me? Ah can only wish . . ." Rogue says the last part under her breath.
The scene then changes to Remy absently stirring a pot and dreaming of his true love. . . Normally, Remy is a good cook, so Raven had Kitty help make the stew before the scene began. Piotr is in the background hanging clothes and trying to have a conversation with the humming Cajun. "Hey, lover boy. How is that grub coming? I do not understand this word grub. . ."
"It just means food, that's all." Evan pipes up.
Raven and Lightning glare at him fiercely.
"Man, I am starved." Piotr continues. Remy ignores him and keeps humming, "Rem? Remy? Remy?" He face grows slightly angry. "Hey!"
Remy falls out of his fake, or was it not so fake, trance. "Hmm? What? What do you say?"
"Aw, forget it." Piotr says, waving him off. "Your mind is not on food."
"Mine is!" Fred says.
"Your mind is always on food, yo." Toad quips.
"Goodone." Pietro says.
"That's enough, boys." Raven says fiercely. The boys shudder and quiet down.
"You are thinking about somebody vith long eyelashes and you are smelling that sveet perfume." Meanwhile the pot is bowling over, as Remy has stopped stirring it and is daydreaming of Rogue instead. Piotr sniffs the air to make a point, but what he smells isn't perfume, but smoke. He coughs.
"Hey whoa!" Remy says, jumping up and waving his arms around, uselessly. "It's boiling over!"
"You are burning the chow!" Piotr says, using his metal form to remove the pot from the fire and set it on a rock. "I am assuming this chow is another food reference?"
"That's right, mate." John says, staring at the campfire from his place offstage. "Mmm, fire. . ."
Wanda comes up behind him, "Boo." John screams.
"Thank you Wanda." Lightning calls.
Piotr takes a yellow shirt and starts waving the smoke away, right into Jean's face. She promptly starts coughing.
Remy tries to pat the ashes out of his shirt. "Sorry, Piotr, guess Remy was t'inking about Maid Anna again. Remy can't help it." He shrugs and gazes upon the offstage Rogue who blushes despite herself. "Remy loves her, Piotr," he says, still staring at Rogue.
"Look," Piotr says, adding water to the stew. "Why don't you stop mooning and moping around? Mooning and moping? Just. . . just marry the girl." He throws the shirt at Remy.
Remy removes the shirt from his head. "Remy'd love to," he says wagging his eyebrows at Rogue.
She takes on the air of a very offended person. "Not in this lifetime!" she lies.
"Gambit! There's this little thing called a script!" Raven says, her yellow eyes glowing dangerously.
Remy winks at Raven, but goes back to the script. "Marry her? You don't just walk up to a girl, hand her a bouquet and say, 'Hey, remember me? We were kids together. Will you marry me?' No." he chuckles. "It just isn't down that way." He looks crestfallen.
Piotr is now stirring the stew which is once again on the fire. "Aww, come on, Remy. Climb the castle walls." He shakes some not so tasty looking stew from the spoon. "Sveep her off her feet. Carry her off in style."
Remy sighs, "It's not use, Piotr. Remy's t'ought it all out, and. . ."
"And a girl doesn't like ta get kidnapped, that's what!" Rogue mutters.
"Hey, you said you forgave Remy for t'at!" Remy calls.
"Maybe Ah lied!"
"Would you two shut up!" Raven and Lightning say at the same time. Scott is heard screaming again.
"It just wouldn't work." Remy says, sighing again. "Besides what does Remy have to offer her?"
Piotr sniffs the stew. "Vell, for one thing, you cannot cook."
"Remy's serious, Piotr." Remy bends over the laundry basket and starts hanging clothes himself. Kurt is seen coming up the lane in his monk costume. "She's a highborn lady of quality."
"So, she has got class? So, what?" Piotr is pouring massive amounts of pepper on the stew in his effort to fix it.
Neither Remy nor Piotr have noticed Kurt who is standing directly behind Remy. "Remy's an outlaw, t'at's what. T'at's no life for a lovely lady. Always on t'e run. What kind of a future is t'at?"
"Oh, for heaven's sake, son." Kurt says, startling Remy so bad he falls into the laundry basket. Clothes fly up all over him and the ground. A camera flashes as Pietro takes yet another picture for use in future blackmail. "You're no outlaw. Vhy, someday, you'll be called a great hero." Kurt says while wagging his finger at him reproachfully.
Remy removes various clothing articles of of his head and shoulders. "A hero? Do you hear t'at, Piotr? We've just been pardoned."
Piotr is still stirring the stew, "That is a gas. Gas? Okay. . . We have not even been arrested yet."
Kurt walks over to Piotr and wags his finger in his face. "All right. Laugh, you two rogues." He reaches for the spoon. "But zere's gonna be a big to-do in Nottingham." He sips the stew and then spits it out, coughing. "Well done, ain't it? Old Prince John's having a champion archery tournament tomorrow."
"Archery tournament? Ha!" Piotr says, removing an apron he had somehow managed to put on while trying to fix the horrible stew. "Old Rem could vin that standing on his head, huh, Rem?"
"T'ank you, Little Piotr," he says, taking a bow, "but Remy's sure we're not invited."
"No," Kurt points out, "but zere's somebody who'll be very disappointed if you don't come."
"Yeah," Piotr says laughing, "Old bushel britches, the Honorable Sheriff Sabretooth."
"Now there's an insult I hadn't thought of. . ." Tabby says. She receives a rather fear-inducing glare from both directors.
"No, Maid Anna." Kurt says lightly.
"Maid Anna?" Remy asks.
"Yeah, she," Kurt laughs, "she's gonna give a kiss to ze vinner."
"Kiss to t'e winner!" Remy exclaims and dreams of kissing Rogue again. "Oo-de-lally! Come on, Piotr! What are we waiting for?" He starts jumping, skipping and doing cartwheels around the camp. This makes Rogue laugh very hard, not to mention everyone else, except of course for Raven.
"Vait a minute, Rem. Hold it. That place will be crawling vith soldiers." Piotr points out.
"Aha!" says the lovesick Cajun thief, "But, remember. Faint hearts never won fair lady. Fear not, my friends." He grabs his bow and quiver, strings and arrow, shoots it, then throws his hat into the air. The arrow hits a frying pan, ricochets off it and hits the hat, which lands neatly on Remy's head. "This will be Remy's greatest performance."
"And cut!" Lightning calls, holding an icepack to Raven's head.
"Ugh, could that have gone worse?" she groans.
"Well, it would have went fine if your parents hadn't been fighting." he says.
"Or if someone had ever given Piotr a dictionary." she says.
"Hey, like, don't talk about Piotr like that!" Kitty defends him. "Just because his English isn't perfect!"
"NeitherisKurt's." Pietro smiles.
"Don't you even start with my brother!" Rogue says, raising a fist.
Evan grabs her covered arm. "Allow me," he says, shooting flaming spikes at Pietro, who easily dodges them. However one of the sets the stage on fire.
John starts dancing around the flames gleefully. Wanda watches this with great amusement until Todd asks, "Uh, shouldn't somebody put that out?"
"I'll do it," Storm grumbles, making a rain cloud. Soon, everyone is soaked and covered in soggy ashes.
Rogue is especially angry because she was already mad. "Remy Lebeau! This is all your fault!" She then steps into her dressing room and locks the door.
"What did Remy do?" he sighs and starts banging on her door. "Chere? Chere?"
"I think we should go while the getting's good." Lightning whispers to Raven.
"Let's." she nods and they take off. We shall too.
A/N: Again sorry about the wait, but here it is. :) Next up: The big archery tournament . . . I'll try to fit the whole thing into one scene with the fight at the end and everything. Scott gets drunk, lol. . . Sabretooth gets shown up. . . A whole bunch of fun. Please remember to review. . .