Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution. I do own Raven, Rachel and Lightning.
Reviews:
To kyo-kitty: Thank you very much. I plan on it, but I haven't decided which one. It's a toss up right now between Snow White and The Princess Bride. Oh, I've put in a special treat for you this chapter. Hope you like it.
To Cat2Fat900: Thank you. I wonder if there is a technical word for the fear of synchronized sentences. . . Australian Flying Squirrels, Evil Flame Throwing Squirrels and Squipmonks too. My head is spinning. The office of my apartments have a pet squirrel named Rocky who lives in the tree right outside and he comes in and steals peanuts. :) He's so cute. . . but he bites. I'll start editing Sweety's version of chapter 3 today, maybe.
To Nightshade-89: Thank you. Congrats on getting 2nd place. I'm sure that it's okay. I mean, I named my daughter after my favorite character on a canceled Canadian sitcom that I never got a chance to watch until several years after it was canceled. . . Don't ask, it's a very, very, very long story involving neighbors, books, television and a bunch of guys from a Navajo Reservation. Man, I miss those guys, even if I never did get to met them . . .Like I said, don't ask. Hmm, I thought about Rogue, but I can't actually imagine myself calling my daughter Rogue. Even if it is a pretty name.
To Tigerlilly1234: Okay, now I think I need to go throw up. . . Torturing Scott makes up for it though. In my other story, I'm really torturing Scott right now. One girlfriend just dumped him and Jean won't even start dating him. Lol. . .
To Crash Slayer: Well, no, just when Remy gets too fresh. And Raven and Lightning do enjoy the fights. They especially enjoy arguing with each other, that's why they do it all the time. No, he wasn't insulting Kitty. He was insulting Piotr. So did the entire cast. Lol. Poor Scott. . . yeah, right. Once again, Mind out of gutter. Lol. (That was funny though.). I figure a Russian isn't liable to know that much American slang. It you pay attention, it wasn't Piotr's shirt he threw at him. He was doing laundry. He needed the apron to fix the stew Kit- I mean Remy screwed up. I'm sure you would make a great tutor.
To el diablo: Thank you very much. Nope, never seen it.
To Shira's Song: Thank you. I find synchronized sentences a lot of fun indeed. It's fun to make Scott cry. I'm so glad you think I'm doing this version so well. :) Oh, yeah, the stork costume, hmm maybe just a mysterious stranger costume or a, um, a . . . Oh, I'll think of something.
To Lyrit Liltrick, and Chica De Los Ojos Cafe: Thank you very much.
A/N: All you reviewers make me feel so special. :) Happy 4th of July to all you Americans out there! Okay settle in, this is gonna be a long run . . . it took me three days to write this and I won't be able to update again until after the holiday. My kids are going to their very first parade and we're going to watch fireworks. It's going to be fun. :)
Remy Hood
Scene 6: The Archery Contest
Lightning walks into the studio, which is amazingly calm. With him is a young girl with long, straight brown hair and green eyes. She seems to be about fourteen.
Remy and Rogue have called a truce and look around strangely. "Uh, Where's Raven?"
Lightning and the girl look at each other nervously, "Uh, Raven is. . ." Lightning starts.
"Busy, that's it, busy," the girl says quickly. "So, I'll be taking her place for this scene. My name is Rachel Lebeau and I have the same powers as my big sister. Not to mention more fashion sense." Rachel smiles warmly.
"Would you shut up, Rachel. You're only here to work the equipment anyway." Lightning glares at her.
"You are such a pain." she replies.
"What are big brothers for?" he says sweetly.
"You are not my brother."
"Not yet, anyway." he smiles annoyingly at her again.
"Okay, let me get this straight. This is Raven's little sisteh?" Rogue asks. Rachel and Lightning nod.
"So, t'at means she's another of our children?" Remy asks. Rachel and Lightning nod again.
"Ah think Ah'm gonna die." Rogue groans.
"Oh, don't do that, Mama!" Rachel says in shocked tones.
"Can't you tell when someone's being sarcastic?" Tabby asks.
"Apparently not." Scott quips.
"Hey, I'm only fourteen, you know!" Rachel says angrily. No one there seems to care. "Oh, let's just get to work." No one moves. "Why aren't you listening to me?" She stomps her foot.
"Well, you aren't exactly a very intimidating figure, petite." Remy says warmly.
Rachel just sighs and mutters under her breath, "I just had to be the normal looking one, didn't I?"
"Okay, people, places!" Lightning calls and everyone goes to work. "See, you don't have to look like a mutant to be intimidating." he tells her.
"Sorry to break this to you man, but, uh, we aren't scared of you either." Evan says, "Just your girlfriend."
Lightning groans, "Lights!" Rachel starts the lights, but they are rather shaky. "Camera!" She tries to use her powers on the camera, but ends up just using her hands instead. "Action!"
Tabby stands alone in a high tower wearing a pink page outfit and blowing her horn. On the ground a parade of Jamie clones, Fred, Pietro, Hank, Mastermind and X23 with Angel at the lead, carrying a rather huge cardboard ax. There are tents set up and balloons and confetti decorating the entire area. This is topped off with a big sign that reads, "Archery Tournament." Several members of the cast and even more Jaime clones are watching the parade.
And the end of the parade marches Bobby, proudly brandishing his bow and wearing Remy's hat. He is followed by Evan, Jubilee, and Amara. The girls are skipping.
The camera zooms in on the royal box, were Pyro is watching the parade with enthusiasm. Scott is sitting in a chair on the right of the throne. Pyro laughs, "Scott, this is a red-letter day. A coup d'etat (1), to coin a Norman phrase." He sits on the throne which is incredibly huge and painted red like fire. His feet don't reach the ground.
"Oh, yes, indeed, sire." says Scott without enthusiasm. "Your plan to capture Remy Hood in public is sheer genius." Scott is sitting up very straight. Pyro is slouching. So, Scott's head is higher than Pyro's. Pyro is glaring at him while he laughs.
"Scott," Pyro says angrily, "no one sits higher than the king. Must I remind you, Scott?" He grabs Scott's neck and clicks his tongue at his disapprovingly. He lowers Scott down forcibly until Scott is barely sitting up at all.
"Oh, oh, forgive me sire," Scott says while hovering as low in the chair as he can. "I, I didn't mean to. . ."
But Pyro, who is now sitting up, has gone back to his original topic and is rubbing his hands together eagerly. He cuts Scott off, "My trap is baited and set and then revenge!" He laughs insanely. "Ah, Revenge!"
"Shh! Not so loud, sire." Scott says shushing the self-proclaimed king. "Remember, only you and I know, and your secret is my secret." He says, leaning into Pyro's ear.
"Stop!" Pyro says, "Stop tickling my ear!" He rubs his ear and then suddenly stops, "Secret? What secret?"
"Why the capture of Remy Hood, sire." Scott says lightly.
"That insolent blackguard." Pyro groans, sinking low again. "Ooh!" He shakes his fists at nothing. "I'll show him who wears the crown!" He bangs a fist on the arm of the throne and this causes him to jump and the crown pops up and lands catty-cornered on his head. He fixes it.
"I share your loathing, sire." Scott says. "That scurrilous scoundrel who fooled you with that silly disguise. Um, scurrilous?"
Everyone looks at Rachel, "Uh, don't look at me. . . I'm not the one with the photographic memory."
Hanks speaks up, "I think I can handle this. Scurrilous, adjective, 1. abusive or defamatory: containing abusive language or defamatory allegations, 2. foul-mouthed or vulgar: using or containing coarse, vulgar, or obscene language, and 3. wicked: behaving in ways thought to be evil or immoral. It is a late sixteenth century word formed from scurrile, directly or via French from Latin scurrilis, from scurra 'buffoon.'"
"Okay, and thank you for today's English lesson." Lightning groans.
"I thought he was a chemistry teacher," Rachel says bewildered.
"He is. . . Can we just get back to work?" Lightning says.
"I miss Raven . . ." Kitty groans.
"Yeah," Scott says, "who dared to rob you and made you look so utterly ridiculous," he continues with the script, enjoying this particular line.
"Enough!" Pyro yells, making a fist and swinging at Scott. Scott dodges which makes Pyro angry. "Scott, you deliberately dodged." He wags his finger at Scott.
Scott looks frightened and cowers, "B, but sire, please."
"Stop sniveling and hold still!" Pyro says calmly.
Scott stops cowering and lets Pyro pound his fist onto Scott's head extremely hard. Scott wavers slightly before remembering his line, "Thank you, sire."
The scene changes to Rogue and Kitty walking towards the royal box. "Oh, Kitty, Ah'm so excited." Rogue hugs Kitty tightly. "But how will Ah recognize him?" She looks around.
Kitty laughs, "Och, he'll, like, let you know somehow. That young rogue of yours is, like, full of surprises, my dear."
Behind the girls in a bush, Remy is listening. He is wearing a gray tunic with a symbol of a stork on it and a rather large, floppy hat. "T'ere she is, Little Piotr. Isn't she beautiful?" Remy sighs dreamily while he watches Rogue enter the royal box. He steps out of the bush, forgetting himself, and revealing the fact that he's wearing one foot high stilts, as if he wasn't tall enough, and long pants to cover them.
Piotr is wearing the outfit of a noble, only it's way to small. It might fit Scott, but not Piotr. He is also wearing a blond wig and fake mustache to match. He grabs Remy and pulls him back into the bush. "Cool it, lover boy. Your heart is running away vith your head." He places a pair of dark sunglasses on Remy to hide his crimson eyes.
"Oh, stop worrying." Remy replies. "T'is disguise would fool Remy's own mot'er."
Piotr laughs, "Da, but your mom is not here, comrade. You got to fool old bushel britches."
He points and, speak of the devil, who should walk by but Sabretooth himself. Remy elbows Piotr lightly twice and heads out in his disguise.
"Sheriff? Your Honor?" Remy says, running up to Sabretooth and grabbing his hand and shaking it violently.
"Yeah?" Sabretooth growls.
"Meeting you face-to-face is a real treat. A real treat." He continues shaking Sabretooth's hand.
"Well, now." Sabretooth pulls his hand away. "Thank you." He chuckles against his will, he remembers the electric shock device in his uniform. "Oh, excuse me. I gotta go win this tournament."
"Hey, old Rem is not a bad actor." Piotr says, shining a monocle against his sleeve. "But vait until he sees this scene I lay on Prince John. I thought I vas supposed to sit on Scott? Vhy am I laying on John?"
Lightning groans and Rachel burst out laughing.
"It's, like, just a phrase, honey." Kitty calls from the box.
"Oh, okay." He walks up to the box carrying a fancy cane. The girls leave the box to go watch the parade. "Ah! My Lord!" Piotr exclaims. "My esteemed royal sovereign of the realm." He walks up the stairs. "The head man himself," he says, taking a bow. "You are beautiful."
Pyro looks highly flattered. "He has style, eh, Scott? Du savoir-faire, n'est pas, Scott?"(2) At the sound of an Australian speaking French, Rachel and several other members of the cast burst into uncontrollable fits of laughter. "Oh, come on, me French ain't that bad, mates!"
"Yeah, right." Rachel and Tabby say at the same time.
"No!" Scott yells, "Not you two, too! Oh the horror! The horror!"
"Okay, let's all calm down and get back to work," Lightning says, between laughs himself.
"You took the vords right out of my mouth, PJ." Piotr says after several minutes of more laughter.
"PJ!" Pyro exclaims. "I like that! Do you know I do? Scott, put it on my luggage. PJ." He laughs and Scott scowls. "PJ, yes."
Scott gets into Piotr's face, "Hmph, and you?" He sits back down. "Who might you be, sir?" He sticks his tongue out at Piotr.
"I am Sir Reginald, duke of Chutney," Piotr says, raising the monocle and then replacing it. "And do not stick your tongue out at me, kid." He removes Scott's hat and shoves it in Scott's mouth. "And now, your highness, allow me to lay some protocol on you." He bows slightly and takes Pyro's hand.
He reaches to kiss it, but Pyro pulls it back quickly. "Oh, no! Uh, forgive me, but I lose more jewels that way than. . . Oi, did I just really say that?"
"Stick to the script!" Lightning yells.
"Please sit down." He motions to Scott's occupied seat.
"Thanks PJ," says Piotr, sitting on Scott. "Could not get a better seat than this, could you? The royal box! Oh, Hey!" Scott starts squirming underneath him. "Hey, vait a minute! Vhat's. . ." He pulls Scott out from underneath him. "Oh, excuse me, buster."
"Buster?" Scott says breathlessly. "You, sir, have taken my seat!"
Pyro and Piotr start laughing and Scott cringes slightly. Pyro waves his hand at Scott in an offhanded way, "Scott, with you around, who needs a court jester?" They laugh again and Scott looks sad. Pyro pulls out a small mirror. He admires himself in it. "Now get out there and keep your one eye open for you know who."
"You, you mean I, I'm being dismissed?" Scott questions while still being held up by Piotr.
"You heard His Mightiness, move it, creepy. Get lost. Begone, short one," Piotr then drops Scott hard onto the wooden floor of the royal box.
Scott slinks away untrustingly. "What cheek! 'Creepy'? 'Buster'? 'Short one'? Who does that dopey duke think he is?" he mutters as he passes Kurt and Logan in his chicken suit.
"Now he's up to something, Friar," Logan growls.
"Yeah, come on!" Kurt says. They follow him.
The scene changes back to Tabby blowing her horn. A parade of archers walks in front of the royal box.
Kurt and Logan are looking under tents for Scott. Kurt looks up and points at something and Logan follows where he's looking. Ray is standing on a crutch, holding a bunch of balloons. Around him, Evan, Bobby, Jubilee, and Amara are waiting. Ray hands a balloon to Evan, but Kurt is pointing to the balloons. Scott takes off with them and floats up in the air. He takes an electric fan in his other hand and uses it to steer. Kurt and Logan chase him on foot.
Rogue and Kitty walk back up into the royal box and curtsy to Pyro slightly. Rogue is growling under her breath about it. They sit down as the parade continues as first Roberto then Magneto, Forge, Wanda, Mystique, Storm, Sabretooth and Remy walk by. Each of them carry bows. Scott is watching them from the air.
Kitty leans over and whispers into Rogue's ear. Rogue smiles. Remy notices this and heads over there. "Ah, Your Ladyship." he says, "Begging your pardon, cherie, but it's a great honor to be shooting for the favor of a lovely lady like yourself." He pulls a white daisy out of his pocket and hands it to Rogue. "Monsieur Stork hopes he wins the kiss." He lowers his glasses for a brief instant and winks at her.
Rogue takes the flower, "Oh," she almost gets lost, gazing on him. She blushes and hides her face behind the daisy, which being small, doesn't cover her face at all. "Thank ya, my thin-legged archer." She chuckles. "Ah wish ya luck," she says and leans close to him, "with all my heart."
Scott notices this and gets suspicious of him. "I wonder." he says and goes flying away, just missing Kurt's hand as he was trying to grab him.
Angel walks up, carrying a pillow with a golden arrow on it. "Your Highness, with your royal permission, we are ready to begin." He hands the pillow to Pyro.
"Proceed, Captain." orders Pyro.
"The tournament of the golden arrow will now begin." Angel announces.
The crowd cheers and Tabby blows her horn again. Scott gets caught in the wind generated by Tabby's horn and blows off course. All the archers let their first arrows fly. Those in the royal box watch with pleasure as do all the peasants who are watching by the fences. More arrows fly and more cheers are heard. Storm shoots an arrow and it manages to hit the target.
"Yea, Auntie O'!" Evan calls out, waving a small purple flag.
Sabretooth fires an arrow and it hits the red, which is the second ring on the target. The crowd boos him Remy then shoots an arrow which is made of two sticks tied together. In real life the arrow would never fly, but Rachel steadies it with her telekinesis. It flies unsteadily through the air and hits the bullseye. And the back half breaks off. Then, the lights go out.
"Rachel!" Lightning shouts, "The lights!"
"Oh, yeah, oops. . ." The lights go back on.
Scott's eyes grow wide. Rogue claps her hands.
"A perfect bullseye," Pyro says. "Well, well."
Piotr laughs, "Da, that is vhat you call pulling it back and letting it go, PJ."
Back at the tournament, Remy is bragging of course, "Monsieur Stork is gonna win t'at golden arrow, and t'en he's gonna present himself to t'e lovely Maid Anna, and. . ."
All this time, Sabretooth is trying to get off a shot. "Listen, scissorbill, if you shoot half as good as you blabbermouth, you're better than Remy Hood."
"Remy Hood, he says! Wowee! Does Remy really have to talk like this?"
Lightning is about to say something rude when Rachel stands up and walks over to him. She puts on her best puppy dog eyes, her big, emerald eyes, just like Rogue's. "Please, Papa. Please say them, for me." She bats her eyes. "You wouldn't want to ruin my play, would you?" She pouts and tears form in her eyes.
Remy sighs. "How is Remy supposed to say no to t'at? Her eyes are just like yours, chere."
"Ah think Ah just learned a new trick." Rogue says, crossing her arms, with a smirk on her face.
"Remy's in trouble." he moans.
Rachel goes and sits down. Lightning shakes his head at her, "Raven should never have taught you that."
"Yeah, she's says that a lot. Can we please start the play again?"
Remy sighs and pats Sabretooth on the back, "Monsieur Stork is tiptop, all right, but he's not as good as he is." He shoots another arrow and it lands next to the first one.
Sabretooth does a double take and Scott looks shocked. Piotr slaps his leg and says, laughing, "That kid has got class, does he not, PJ?"
"Indeed he has, Reggie." Pyro says. He claps his hands, "Bravo! Uh, bravo! Yes."
Remy pulls another arrow out of his quiver, "Oh, um, by t'e way, Monsieur Stork hears you're having a bit of trouble, getting your hands on t'at Remy Hood."
Sabretooth, who was about to shoot another arrow, lowers his bow. "He's scared of me, that's what he is. You notice he didn't show up here today. Huh! I can spot him through those phony disguises."
Meanwhile, Scott has been sneaking up on them, using his balloons and fan technique. He catches a random view of Remy's eyes and backs up in surprise, "It's him! It's Remy Hood!" He laughs, "I just can't wait till I tell His Majesty." He flies off giggling like a school girl.
Meanwhile, he's been spotted by Kurt and Logan. They've made a make-shift bow out of Logan's lute and fire an arrow at the balloons. It sails through several off them. Scott starts falling. Kurt ports over to him and catches him, then shoves him into an open barrel marked "Ale."
"Unhand me, you. . ." Scott cries.
Kurt closes the lid, leaving just enough of a crack to breath through.
"Please, please. I don't drink!" Scott whines. Normally, they would have used water had Raven been there, but Raven wasn't there so Logan had snuck in real ale. Scott doesn't know this, so he takes a drink. He suddenly feels very good. He takes another, which leads to another, and another.
The scene changes to Angel taking out some arrows from a target. "Attention, everyone! The final contestants are the Honorable Sheriff Sabretooth. . ." Angel spits out the word honorable like bad meat and the crowd boos as Sabretooth jumps out in front of the line of contestants. "And Monsieur Stork from Devonshire." Remy turns around and waves at the crowd who cheer for him. Then he turns and waves at Rogue.
She blushes, despite herself, and waves back. Pyro leans over, "My dear, I suspect you favor the gangly youth, hmm?"
"Uh, why, yes, sire." Rogue says, blushing even more, "Well, at least he amuses me."
Pyro laughs evilly. "Coincidently, my dear young lady, he amuses me too." He taps his fingers together while laughing.
"For the final shoot-out," Angel calls, "move the target back thirty paces."
"You heard it, Toady," Sabretooth growls as Toad was standing nearest the target. "Move it, you birdbrain!" Todd walks into the target. "And remember what you're supposed to do."
"Yes, sir, Sheriff, sir." Todd says as he backs up the required distance.
Sabretooth fires an arrow that flies off a lot higher than the target. Todd jumps up and catches the arrow, right in the bullseye. The crowd boos and Rogue shakes her fists in frustration. Sabretooth chuckles, "Well, that shot wins the golden arrow, the kiss and the whole caboodle."
Remy walks up to the line and shoots his arrow, but Sabretooth hits the bottom of the bow just as Remy releases the arrow and it flies off way too high. The crowd gasps. Remy immediately takes another arrow and shoots the first one, knocking it back on course and directly through Sabretooth's arrow, splitting it it two.
The crowd cheers. Kurt shouts, "Yea! He did it, he did it, he did it!"
Rogue hugs Kitty again. Pyro motions to Angel who nods. He looks around evilly and whispers to Fred.
Remy walks boldly straight to Rogue, who is watching every move he makes and holding the flower. Behind him, Fred, Pietro, Hank, Mastermind, and X23 march with axes in hand. Pyro taps his fingers on the throne in anticipation. He stands up as Remy reaches the royal box. Kitty somehow disappears and Rogue is holding the pillow on which lies the golden arrow. "Archer, I commend you, and because of your superior skill, you shall get what is coming to you."
Rogue is staring at Remy. He's staring at Rogue. She stands up and walks forward, noting the dorky smile on his face that only appears when a man is in love. He leans forward on the railing of the box. "Our royal congratulations," Pyro says, breaking the mood and holding out his hand.
Remy takes it and shakes it vigorously. "Oh, thank you kindly, Your Highness. Meeting you face-to-face, Your High and Mighty, is a real treat."
Pyro is trying to get his hand away. He finally succeeds. "Release the royal fingers. Ah!" He says, fixing his crown. He takes a sword and acts like he's about to knight Remy. "And now, I name you the winner, or more appropriately, the loser!" He take the sword and cuts the gray tunic to reveal Remy's usual outfit underneath. Also in the process, he knocks off Remy's sunglasses, revealing his red-on-black eyes. Kitty, having returned in the meantime, and Rogue both gasp. So do Jean, Bobby, Jubilee, and Amara. "Seize him!" Pyro orders the guards. They fight with him for a while, but manage to tie him up and hold their cardboard axes pointing towards his neck. "I sentence you to sudden, instant and even immediate death!"
Rogue gasps, "Oh no! Oh!" She cries. The thought crosses her mind of Remy really being killed and her face goes paler than it already is. "Please," she begs Pyro, "Please, sire, Ah beg av ya ta spare his life."
"Can't stand t'e t'ought of living wit'out Remy, eh, chere."
"Do you eveh shut up?" she says glaring.
"Both of you shut up and stick to the script!" Lightning yells, throwing his clipboard up in the air. Rachel laughs at him and he simply glares at her.
Rogue rolls her eyes, but gets back into her begging mode. She gets down on her knees in front of the red throne and says, "Please have mercy." A single tear falls down her cheek. This was due to having to beg Pyro for anything. That would make anyone cry.
"My dear emotional lady, why should I?" Pyro says, enjoying seeing the normally feisty girl, crying and begging.
"Because Ah . . . Do Ah really have ta say this?" Rogue groans.
"If you don't I'll cry." Rachel says with just the right amount of sadness in her voice. "After all, your my Mama and you should love my Papa and if you don't then I'll, I'll," she sniffs.
"Fine! Ah'll say it, but you just keep your mouth shut, Remy Lebeau!" Rogue shouts. She goes back to crying, "Because Ah love him, Your Highness." She turns her head while she says this to look Remy in the eyes. Remy decides it might be best to let this one go without a wise crack.
"Love him?" Pyro says, shocked. He brings his hand up to him mouth. "And does this prisoner return your love?"
A tear flows down Rogue's face as Remy gazes deeply into her eyes. "Rogue, I mean Anna, ma cherie, Remy loves you more t'an life itself." The sound of Piotr and Pyro snickering can be heard in the back ground.
Rogue looks so happy, several members of the cast wonder if she acting or not. Kitty places a supportive hand on Rogue's shoulder.
Pyro chuckles, "Ah, young love. Your pleas have not fallen on a heart of stone." He makes a movement as if he is making a grand gesture, then suddenly stick his fist into the air as he says, "But traitors to the crown must die!"
"Traitor to t'e crown?" exclaims Remy. "T'at crown belongs to King Charles! Long live King Charles!"
"Long live King Charles!" the crowd shouts.
"Enough!" Pyro shouts, throwing a tantrum up on his throne, "I am king! King! King! Ah! Off with his head!"
X23 starts walking towards him with her cardboard ax muttering under her breath, "this would be a lot more realistic if they let me use my claws."
Jean, Bobby, Jubilee, and Amara all gasp again. So does Kurt, Ray, and several other members of the crowd. Rogue sniffs and cries out, "Oh no!" She buries her head in Kitty's dress and laughs, pretending to cry.
Suddenly Pyro cries out, "Stop! Executioner, stop! Hold your ax!" His collar is being held behind him through a blue curtain.
On the other side of the curtain is Piotr, holding the collar in one hand and a dagger in the other. "Okay, big shot. Now, tell them to untie my comrade, or I vill..." He digs the daggers tighter against Pyro's back.
Pyro grunts. "Sheriff, release my comrade, I mean, release the prisoner!"
Sabretooth is holding one of the ropes. "Untie the prisoner?" he growls.
"You, like totally, heard what he said, bushel britches!" Kitty says, sitting on the railing of the box.
"Sheriff," Pyro practically squeals, "I make the rules, and since I'm the head man." He tries to stand on the throne and is pulled back my Piotr's tug on his collar. "Not so hard, you mean thing," he whispers. Piotr responds by pushing the dagger even tighter into Pyro's back. "Let him go, for heaven's sake! Let him go!"
Rogue stand up happily. Kitty does a happy dance on the railing. "Yee-hee! Love conquers all!"
Remy unties himself and Jean's "family" dances around cheering. The rest of the crowd does too.
Rogue runs down the stairs and Remy and Rogue join hands, Rogue's being gloved. "Remy owes his life to you, ma cherie." He places his hand on her arm; she does the same.
"Ah couldn't have lived without you, Remy." They embrace in a sweet hug, being careful not to rub their faces together. Rachel grins at them from behind the camera.
Sabretooth places his hands on his hips. "There's something funny going on here."
"Now, PJ, tell my pal to kiss Maid Anna," Piotr is saying to Pyro, "or I have just found a new pincushion."
Just then Sabretooth walks around the corner with his sword draw. "Why, you!"
Piotr dodges as Sabretooth attacks him and in the process of fighting for his life, releases Pyro's collar.
Pyro wastes no time by shouting, "Kill him! Don't just stand there! Kill him!"
Rogue hugs Remy tightly as the guards take up their cardboard axes again. Piotr comes out from behind the box and throws Sabretooth's sword to Remy. Remy starts fighting Hank and Mastermind while Piotr takes on X23 with a big stick. He hits her in the back and she flies forward. After that, Pietro comes up to him and Piotr has to fight both of them.
Remy is fighting the guards off and back into the box. Pyro takes a sword, meaning to stab him in the back, but Remy turns around just in time and knocks the sword out of Pyro's hands.
"Don't hurt me!" cries Pyro. "No, no! Don't hurt me! Help! Help!" He runs out the back of the box and trips, head over heels. He crawls and hides behind the barrel marked 'Ale' where Scott was stuffed earlier. "Kill him!" He shouts, banging on the lid.
Kitty holds the golden arrow in her and and shoos Rogue, "Run for it, lassie! This is, like, no place for a lady!" Rogue runs off growling under her breath about not getting to fight. Kitty rolls up her sleeve and takes the golden arrow and pokes Hank in the butt. Beast jumps up, screaming in pain. That's when Sabretooth grabs Kitty's wrist. Kitty flips him over her with the help of Jean's telekinesis, because no one wanted to risk Rachel forgetting about the lights again. "Like, take that, you scoundrel!"
Rogue is running and extremely aggravated about playing the damsel-in-distress, "Help! Remy, help!" Several Jamie clones with fake spears are chasing her.
Remy swings in on a rope and grabs her by the waist, lifting her out of harm's way. They land on the roof of the royal box. "Anna, mon amoure, will you marry Remy?" He takes her gloved hand.
A thrill goes through Rogue just from hearing the words she's dreamed about coming from his lips. However, she remembers not to let it show and just says her line, "Oh, darling, Ah thought you'd neveh ask me." Remy is fighting off spears and axes with his cardboard sword. The cloth underneath them tears and they fall through onto the throne. "But ya could have chosen a more romantic setting," she says as he continues to fight and she hides behind the throne.
He fights off a Jaime clone and jumps off the throne, "And for our Honeymoon, London."
"Yes," Rogue sighs.
He pushes the throne over onto a bunch more Jaime clones, "Normandy! Sunny Spain!"
"Yes! Why not?" she says dreamily.
Kitty is being chased by Hank and Pietro.
Fred and Mastermind are fighting off Piotr. Piotr is using his big stick to knock them into a striped tent. "Ooh, vhat a main event this is," Piotr says, still in his duke costume. He enters the tent to continue beating them.
Kitty screaming, runs into the tent, followed by Hank and Pietro.
This pushes Piotr out. "Vhat a beautiful brawl." he says and rams back into the tent.
And that pushes Kitty out, rolling head over heels. She gets angry and once again stabs Beast in the butt, who jumps up again and starts a stampede of the four guards. Covered with the tent and Piotr, who is riding on Fred's shoulders. He pokes halfway out of the top of the tent. "Hey, vho is driving this flying umbrella?" he asks.
Townspeople run in and out of tents, chasing or being chased by guards. Remy and Rogue pass by. Remy stops to fight Angel in front of a blackberry pie stand. Angel's sword comes close to hitting his head. Remy gets up and continues his conversation with Rogue, "We'll have six children."
"Six?" Rogue asks.
"Two!" shouts Rachel.
"Rachel, you're not helping," Lightning glares at her.
"Oh, a dozen at least," Rogue says.
Lance pops his head up from inside the pie stand. He shoots his crossbow at Remy, who ducks. The arrow hits Angel's shield and bounces off towards Lance's head. He ducks and it hits a wooden sign instead.
Rogue picks up a pie and throws it at Lance with a angry, "Take that!" It hits Lance right in the face. And that is when the pie stand starts shaking and the tent crashes through. Lance is picked up by it and is carrying several pies. He loses his grasp on them and they fly up and hit Piotr in the face.
"Attention everyone!" Angel cries out. But his further commands are never heard as the tent runs over him. He and Lance are both trampled and left behind.
Sabretooth sees the tent headed for him and takes off running. The tent chases him through all the rows and over the nearly destroyed royal box. The throne is picked up on the way. Shortly after that, the tent catches up with Sabretooth and he is caught up in the throne. Sabretooth looks at Piotr. Piotr looks at Sabretooth. They both look at the tower they are headed straight for. Piotr jumps up and runs across the roof of the tent by jumping on the guards heads and then jumps down. Tabby screams and then sighs in relief as the tent passes by the tower. However, her relief is a bit early as the tent doubles back and rams right into it. The tower collapses. Piotr is finally back in his tunic and he, Remy, and Rogue are running out of the way. Tabby goes sailing through the air. She tries to blow her horn after she lands on a pile of foam bricks, but Kitty stuffs a muffin in the end of it. She baked the muffin herself.
"Stop the girl!" shouts Pyro from his hiding place. Bobby aims his bow and arrow at his butt and hits the target. "Ooh!"
Kitty was watching behind a tent and hits Pyro over the head with the golden arrow. "Like, take that, you scurvy knave!" She runs off.
"Seize the fat one!" Pyro calls out.
"What do you, like, mean fat!" Kitty stops running.
"Yeah, Kitty's not fat!" Piotr says, changing to metal form.
"It was in the script!" Pyro shouts.
"Well, Ah think the script needs a little changing." Rogue says coming up behind him.
"Uh, Lightning? Rachel? Help a simple pyromaniac out?"
"Nope, I think you should change it." Rachel says grinning.
"Me too." Lightning says.
"Oh alright." Pyro sighs. "Seize the Kitty Cat!" he cries out.
The guards charges Kitty, who phases through them easily. They end up knocking each other out. Evan, Jubilee and Amara watch her with glee, whistling and cheering. "Yahoo!" Kitty yells as she phases through two more Jaime clones who bump into each other and disappear. Kurt cheers her on as well.
Beast, as payback for the arrow-in-the-butt thing, grabs her bloomers, revealing the fact that Kitty is wearing polka-dotted panties underneath. She keeps running, stretching the bloomers. Finally, Hank lets go and she trips. But she gets away and turns to shout, "Long live King Charles! Yee-Hoo!" Piotr comes out from behind a tree and grabs her, pulling her into the forest just as a ton of arrows hit the trees were she was standing.
"Scott!" Pyro calls. "You're never around when I need you!"
Scott, who has been happily drinking the ale in the barrel shouts, "Coming, coming." He laughs.
Pyro gets a strange look on his face and listens to the barrel. He hears Scott singing, "For I'm a Jolly Good Fellow." Pyro removes the lid and Scott pops his head up.
"Oh!" Hiccups Scott, "Oh, there you are, old boy. PJ, you won't believe this but Monsieur Stork is really Remy Hood." Scott hiccups again.
"Remy Hood." Pyro says angrily. Scott chuckles drunkenly and nods his head. Pyro screams and starts choking Scott. He ties Scott up with a rope to a poll, very tightly. "Get out of that if you can."
"And cut!" Lightning calls.
"Well, that was fun." Rachel says grinning.
"You've got to be kidding." Lightning says.
"Hey, Kit," Rogue says with a knowing grin on her face, "where'd you disappear to during Pyro's speech?"
"What? I, like, didn't go anywhere." Kitty lies.
"Come to think of it," Pyro grins, "Piotr, you disappeared at the same time as Kitty."
"No, no I did not." Piotr lies.
"Yeah, right, homme. We believe you." Remy says, raising an eyebrow.
Kitty and Piotr are saved right then, by Scott throwing up on Jean's dress. "Eww!" scream Jean.
"I think I, hiccup, had a little too druch mink. . ." Scott say.
"Ya think!" Rogue and Jean yell.
"Aah! Why must you alien squirrels torment me so!" Scott yells running off to hid in his dressing room. Well, he would have, but the door was shut and he ended up running into the door and knocking himself out. "Mommy. . ."
Rachel laughs, "Oh, he's soo cute!" She squeals.
"Hey, back off!" Jean says, still covered in puke. "He's mine!"
Rachel gives her a strange look. "All I said is that he's cute. I wouldn't want him."
"Just his son, right?" Lightning says.
"Hey! Raven wasn't supposed to tell you that!" Rachel says yelling.
Lightning laughs.
"So, um Jean, ya wanna get cleaned up or something?" Rogue asks. Jean just groans and heads for the showers.
"So, chere, you really love Remy? Huh?" Remy says, just to tease her.
"Don't get too cocky now, Swamp Rat, it was in the script. And besides, even you can't resist that!" She points at Rachel.
"Hmm, maybe Remy and Rogue should make sure she exists in this dimension, no?"
Rogue faces goes pale. "The truce is off!" she yells as she slaps him and stomps off into her room.
And we will go too.
A/N: That was even longer than I thought it would be. Well, I hope you enjoyed it. Don't worry Raven should be back next chapter. She's, um, busy right now. Very busy. Next up: Serious Romy, in the play. Oh and maybe the Sherwood Forest Party.
Translation:
(1) Don't ask. I have no idea. It was in the script. Literally something like "blow of state" but I'm pretty sure that's not what it means.
(2) Again. This does not mean the literal translation of "Of the to know-to make, is it not, Scott?" what it does mean it more like "That's Class, eh, Scott?"