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I didn't think that far ahead...
.:. insert picture of Joan interrogating Jack/Adam during mock trial, a tear running down her cheek .:.
Adam:
Oh God, she knows. It's like she is ostensibly interrogating Jack about mock trial. But to the both of us her questions are personal, they go much deeper below the surface. I can't look at her, I can't stand seeing the betrayed, yet inquisitive look in her eyes.
She is badgering me with questions, questions that I have no easy answers to. Questions that I am constantly trying to answer for myself, unsuccessfully. I tell her I didn't think about the consequences when I hooked up with Bonnie, that I didn't think that far ahead. It's the truth. It's pathetic, but it's the truth.
'You're lying,' she tells me. Yes, I am. I look at the tears rolling down her cheeks, as she tries to make sense of the situation while what I am trying to explain is sinking in. An overwhelming need to usher everyone from the room is tugging at me, so I can explain everything to her, make her understand that she isn't seeing the whole picture. But 'It wasn't like that,' is all I can utter while I feel tears welling up in my eyes too.
I am trying to find words to answer her accusing, bombarding questions, but they are not forthcoming. Grace puts an end to it by objecting. I hear Jane say that she's done. I look up at her, pleading for her to let me explain. But from the look in eyes I can see that I have hurt her more than I could ever imagine. Please, Jane, I will explain everything to you!
Joan:
Clearly, something is going on here that I don't get. Adam and Bonnie? How could I miss that? I see him sitting in the witness stand, pretending to be Jack. He looks like he wants to crawl into a mouse hole and vanish. I ask Jack why he stole the goose from Mrs. Giant, but what I really mean is why Adam and Bonnie... What exactly did he and Bonnie do?
Didn't he realize what he was risking? Clearly he didn't. 'I didn't think that far ahead,' he says. No, Adam, you didn't. Did you think I wouldn't find out eventually? Did you really think you could go and make out with Bonnie behind my back and come back to me, to Jane, when you thought Bonnie wasn't good enough for you?
I hear his feeble attempts at explaining to me what went on. I can see it in his eyes that he is pleading at me to let him explain, but his puppy dog eyes don't work for me anymore. This time he went too far. He can't even come up with anything remotely resembling a reasonable explanation. What I would really like to do is grab his collar and shake it out of him, scream at him, 'Why, why, why, Adam? Why!'
But there are people sitting all around me, reading his and my very lips. When Grace interjects, I realize there is only one way to confront him and get answers: in private. I wipe away the tears that involuntarily sprang from my eyes and sit down, somehow devoid of energy, like a balloon with a small hole that is slowly oozing air.
Grace:
This is worse than I imagined. Girardi is interrogating Jack, but she is really interrogating Rove. She knows, and there will be no turning back now. Rove, you messed up royally, no two ways about it. I know I should be doing something, but I can't help but staring at the verbal tug-of-war going on in the mock court room. It's just the three of us who really know what is going on here, I can see the curious and questioning looks of the courtroom occupants drilling into the back of my head.
Luke's questioning, yet confusing look most of all. He urges me to object to Girardi's barrage of questions directed at Jack, and yet at Adam. But I know that she needs answers from him, so I have to let her go on.
I can see her, hear her assassinating Rove in the witness stand. I can't tear my eyes away from it. I feel for both of them, and I'm sorry that what I feared would happen is actually happening. I told Rove that he knew what Girardi would think if she found out. And she does.
The assassination goes on. She raises her voice, demanding answers from Rove. I can see he is struggling for words, for explanations. There is nothing more that can be said and done here that would make sense, so I need to put an end to this right here. Without conviction, I object. Rove, I really hope you can drag yourself out of this mess.