--...---...----...--

I think we should leave you two alone...

.:. insert picture of Joan looking at Adam after mock trial ended, Adam having his head buried in his arms on the desk .:.

Adam:

Shame. That is all I feel right now. Shame and guilt. All I wanna do is run and hide, get away from this nightmare, make it all go away. I can't look at her, I am afraid of her accusing stares, her harsh words, her soul-piercing questions.

I want to explain this to her, I want to tell her I am sorry, so sorry. That I would take it all back if I could, that I don't love anyone but her. But I'm afraid that she won't understand, that I won't be able to make her understand. How can I ever put this into words that will reach her? How can I ever expect her to forgive me, when she never deserved me in the first place? Oh, I am so scared to lose her for good.

Joan:

He can't even look at me. He cheated on me and he can't even look me in the eyes to admit it. What did I do to deserve being betrayed? How could he ever betray the trust I put in him? How could I ever think he was that sweet, loving boyfriend I thought him to be when he was secretly going behind my back with Bonnie, the freak?

Finally, I ask him, confront him. He looks up at me with an expression that normally would have made me gather him in my arms, wanting to make him feel all better. But not now, not here. Not after what he did. The first words to leave his lips are an apology. Or rather a pitiful attempt at one. Is that all you can offer?

He goes on. There goes the explaining. '... That it could just be about sex.' Something inside of me breaks in half when the realization sinks in. He had sex with Bonnie. I thought sucking face, maybe a little harmless making out. But he slept with that stupid little bitch, he actually slept with her!

Incredulous, I think back to when Adam and I stayed the night in his father's camper after the garage festival concert. I should have seen it coming. Or should I? I couldn't give him what he wanted, so he went to the next best little slut to screw her? If there was anything that was really low, this was it. No apology in the world could ever be enough to forgive what he did.