Confidence is a word I have to have,

Truth is I'm insecure inside,

And that's no lie…

When the world conspires to hold me back in line,

Feels like nothings going right,

Although I try,

So hard…

The hour passed slowly as Jack mused over his thoughts and tried in vain to prepare himself for disappointment when he realised that it was not Kim who had written. He tried to make himself expect nothing but he couldn't help but hope it was Kim. For the past year or so, maybe even longer than he had been using, he had tried to live by one rule. Expect nothing, so you are never disappointed. It was hard to break away from it now, especially when he knew how crushed he would feel if his daughter hadn't chosen to contact him.

The hour turned into two and he became anxious and started pacing the room wondering where Jane was. He couldn't go look for her as it would arouse suspicion, especially since he refused to leave his room unless it was necessary. He wondered if she had lied to him to get his hopes us and quickly dismissed the idea. That was the heroin speaking, he knew.

He thought about it, the drug, but he didn't crave it yet. He knew there were times when he would, but he wasn't concerned. He had been told the recovery process was indefinite, and he had wondered what that had meant as he knew he didn't want to take anymore.

Now he understood. The voice that had spoken to him earlier, tried to tell him Jane was lying when he knew for a fact she wouldn't do that to him, he trusted her. That was what the heroin would do to him, he realised, make him feel down, hurt him… Do anything to try and make his thoughts turn to the drug. If they could depress him then it could show him what he was missing, what could take the sadness away. He clenched his fists as he realised that the drug would always be back to taunt him and try make him take the pain away that way. But he wouldn't, he thought stubbornly, he would never submit or be dominated by them again.

He looked at the small clock sat on his dresser and cursed, three hours had passed! He slammed the back of his hand against the screen and watched as it flew through the air before skidding along the floor and finally coming to a halt as it hit the wall. He walked over and picked it back up, tossing the instrument between his hands.

He would need to do something, he realised, to let out his anger once he was home. Whether he was at CTU or not he needed to do something to vent his frustration. He ran daily anyway, so that wouldn't be enough. He thought about maybe making his weekly trip to the pool a daily event, he liked to swim. He could unwind physically but swimming laps and the water would make him relax too, it would help him clear his head.

He placed the clock back in its place as he smiled, he was actually looking forward to the new routine he was planning out. He needed to get back into shape too, so this would help. He had already planned setting the gym back up in the spare room. He still had the equipment he needed, he just hadn't bothered using it. He had preferred to go to the local gym after work, but when his drug habit got stronger he stopped going to public places, and he hadn't thought to fix his own gym up. He was pleased with himself for already having two plans of action for his return to normality, even if his career was still up in the air and our of his hands.

He turned to face the door when he herd it begin to open, a curious look on his face. He couldn't help but wonder what took her too long. He tried not to show his disappointment when he realised it was Joey and not Jane who had entered his room.

Joey greeted him before making some light conversation and checking he was okay. Jack was always surprised by how at ease the man made him feel. He and Jane had helped him during his worst night here, and he was embarrassed at the memory. He wasn't, however, embarrassed now, when he spoke to Joey. Somehow the man, like Jane, had a relaxed attitude which made him feel okay about himself, like his situation had been something which happens to everybody. He was thankful for that, he didn't want his time here to be any more difficult than it had to be.

"Some of the guys are in the recreation room. There's a game on in a little while, the Dodgers I think. They asked me to see if anybody wanted to join them."

There were 15 people in the centre being treated for substance abuse at this time. He had been there over a week and hadn't seen the recreation room, never mind the other patients. Making friends wasn't something he wanted to do, for each person he started to get to know would be a reminder of his time here, and the monster which had put him here, his conscience.

"Thanks for the offer, but I don't feel much like socialising."

"You sure? You're quite the recluse out of the group. There's a few quiet people like you here Jack, but you're the only one who eats alone too."

Jack smiled. "I know. Its just my way. I'm sorry."

"Hey there's nothing to be sorry about pal, I just wanted you to know there's people here if you want to see them. If you get bored or… whatever. Anyway I'll leave you to yourself," he said, flashing his cheeky grin as he left. Jack realised he liked Joey, he could make him smile and lighten the mood.

He looked at the clock when he was alone again, wishing he had asked Joey where Jane was, but knowing he did the best thing. He had to act normal or she would get into trouble, and he would never want her to be given grief for trying to help him.