Seize the day, the one that you left behind
It seems so strange that you don't move
Frozen still in front of your own lights
Win or lose, its time to choose
He slept late into the following morning and frowned before the long yawn overtook his features as he stretched his arms out. He glanced down at his bare arms and smiled as he saw the faded marks there. They were faded enough to go unnoticed unless you purposely looked for them, but at the same time served as a reminder to him, and a warning if things every got too tough again.
He rubbed at them absentmindedly as he crossed the room and pulled out some cloths for the day, before heading into the shower to wake himself up. As he washed his vision repeatedly lingered on the long tattoo that possessed his forearm. He couldn't think of any solution to make its presence seem as necessary as he had the scars from injecting the drugs. He ran his hand up and down it gently as thought afraid of the touch.
Just what did it represent to him, he wondered. The power and control two malicious brothers had held over him, or the monstrous acts he had been made to perform after this had been inked into his skin?
He drew his hand back from the area and stared deeply into the face of the woman as though searching for answers. He found none, and instead decided that he did like the design; that could at least make its presence less damaging. He had another session with Hart planned, possibly the last one, and he decided he would discuss the tattoo with him then. During the last few days he had felt as though he was treading water, waiting for his release. He had covered the necessary material with his doctor and had recovered from the heroin addiction. There was nothing more to do other than wait. Just two more days of waiting and then it would all change.
He felt his stomach tighten again as he dried himself off and dressed, and decided he would mention his anxiety about returning to the normal world with Hart too. Jane had squashed his fears last night but it had crept back. If he started out worried or nervous, surely his recovery was more likely to go wrong? He knew he needed to approach his future confidently, and decided that after a brief chat with Hart he would be able to do so.
After throwing his night cloths back under the pillow he made his bed and looked around the small room, his vision stopping at the alarm clock. It was almost noon, he had made a bad habit of oversleeping and napping in the afternoon - once he got his strength up this had to stop, for he would resume the long hours he was so accustomed to working at CTU before he left.
Kim would be pleased to know he now slept like the dead though, he thought with a smile. He checked his door was locked before pulling out the envelope from underneath the bed, hidden from view and anybody looking to find something. He pulled a letter out one at a time before coming to the third one, the letter which he knew had changed his attitude towards his future, the one which had cemented the fact that he had a chance at a future at all.
He sat on the bed and unravelled the paper, he could still smell her perfume on it, just like he had that night when he first read it. He read the words through slowly, smiling at how she still dotted her 'i's' with a circle rather than a dot.
The letter was short and sweet, a little description of his accomplishments, and a note about how proud she was that he was getting help. After signing her name and drawing a dozen kisses she had written another sentence at the bottom of the paper. That was the line which had rendered him powerless to his emotions as he had first read the letter. Relief had swamped his senses, joy welled up inside him and a large toothed grin had spread across his face. She cared, he had realised, surprised, partly experiencing disbelief, but it was true, it was written in black and white right before his eyes.
He had cried as he had read the letter through the first time, and he did again as he leant against the wall with his knees drawn up to his chest. He felt the pride swell up inside of him again, that this smart and caring woman was his daughter, that he had played some role in bringing her to be the way she was. He managed to keep the tears away until he got to the last line again, the one which had made him laugh and cry when he had first read it.
He refolded the letter carefully and slipped the bundle back into place. He left his room and headed towards Harts office, he was early and Joe, who passed by him, noticed the spring in his step and the smile on his face. It looked as though he knew something nobody else did, and he was having a hard time controlling himself, the excitement was too much. Joe waved as he passed and started to smile too, Jack was a man who would only go through rehab once.
Jack tried to calm himself down as he saw Joe watching him, and then entered Harts office giving the doctor a firm handshake. He smiled as he sat down in the leather chair overlooking the centres grounds where green lawns and towering crisp trees stretched out. Hart began to talk to him but he could barely concentrate, all he could hear was his little baby's words spiralling through his thoughts.
"We'll be waiting for you."