Thanks for the reviews! I got over my writers block! See I knew it wouldn't laste that long!

Chapter 4:

Ryou woke to a knock on his door. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Who is it?" He asked in a tired voice.

"It's me…Yugi." Ryou yawned then slowly trudged to the door.

"Yes?" Ryou asked as he slowly opened it, revealing a rather solemn Yugi.

"There, having a ceremony at the school for Nozomi…and…well since you and her were so close, we wanted to know if you wanted to set it up? You know slide shows and a speech?" Ryou shook his head.

"I don't know Yugi…"

Yugi placed a reassuring hand on his friends shoulder.

"Ryou, I wasn't really there for you when you needed me the most…I feel like a crummy friend. But Nozomi was, don't you think you at least should give her this one last thing? Allow everyone to see what she was like?"

Ryou lowered his head to look at his feet.

"Your right Yugi…I do at least owe her this…she was always there, and no matter what I said or did she never left me…"

Yugi smiled warmly and patted his back.

"I'm looking forward to your speech, I'm sure it will be wonderful."

January 25 2002

He's starving himself still…he didn't take my warning. But he did get at least a little smarter…he won't come to my house! I'll change all of that! I don't care if I have to hog tie him then carry him there myself, lord knows he's light enough. It bugs me to know that he feels he HAS to starve himself, that he can't control anything in his life but his food. But I don't know what I should do to change this. You know, they say you should talk to an adult, but adults never fix anything, only make things worse!

Today at lunch time I forced a cup of pudding down his throat, and then afterwards he said he had to use the restroom. I knew what he was doing…but I couldn't really stop him. But I have a plan…He's staying the night…whether he likes it or not!

Later

It took a lot of convincing to get my Ryou bear to spend the night. He's been acting all weird ever since I shoved him into my house. The first thing I did was place a plate of food in front of him. This time it was cheese pizza…no one can resist cheese pizza! Or at least, I CAN'T! I made sure he at least ate one slice, then when he said he had to use the restroom I rushed into it first and locked the door. I was not going to let him continue this! Then when I came out, he was just sitting on my bed, wringing his hands in his lap.

He looked so sad.

"Ryou bear! I told you to knock it off! Your pathetic pleas and excuses won't work on me!"

He looked up at me with the cutest little face ever. He looked just like a little puppy. I must admit, my heart skipped a beat. I think I'm getting a crush on him…uh…I better not let it show!

Anyways, I gave a sigh and sat next to him. I pulled him into a hug and began to stroke his head.

"What's wrong my little Ryou bear?" I whispered. He just shook his head and wouldn't say anything.

"You've been doing this the whole time huh? Right under my nose…Ryou, it needs to stop." He still didn't say anything.

I guess that's only fair, because I haven't told him everything yet either.

After calming down my anger a little we played duel monsters. And once again he kicked my butt.

"Gee Ryou bear, either I suck or it's these cards. Want to trade them and duel? Maybe I can win with your deck…"

Ryou just smiled and shook his head.

"It's never the cards…it's the person using them!" I laughed and reached for his deck. The top card was 'change of heart.'

"That's my favorite." He whispered while looking over my shoulder. I smiled to myself.

"It doesn't fit you Ryou bear. You don't seem the type that would turn on anyone."

Ryou was silent for awhile then we played the game.

When I lost I started to through a fit.

"Damn it! I'm so stupid!"

Ryou just laughed and petted my head.

"You're not stupid, you just need to work on your logic skills…want to watch a movie?" he asked while putting away his cards. I smiled and nodded my head.

"Sure…how about…um…Indiana Jones? I love that movie!" he gave a nod.

I rushed around, making everything perfect. I tossed a bunch of pillows and blankets on the floor and popped a bowl of popcorn.

Ryou is such a little scardy cat, he was clinging to me at all the pop out parts. You know, when things pop out when you least expect it.

Well, before the movie ended he fell asleep, and now I'm writing in this book. If I could change one thing about my life at this moment, it would only be that I wasn't slowly dying. Sooner or later I'll have to tell Ryou, but for now, I won't. First I want to find out what's wrong with him. I can't let him starve and if someone's beating him I'll have to stop that too. Another thing I noticed though today, while we were eating, he has a bunch of scars on his upper arms. Why I hadn't noticed before, I don't know. But I feel like I have a lot of spying to do…oh that should be fun!

Night my mystery reader.

-Nozomi

"Oh, I'm so going to show up soon, I can't wait! Come one Ryou, read more! Read more!" Bakura said while pushing the diary towards his host.

"Fine, but only one more entry…then I really need to work on my speech." Ryou turned the page and almost burst out into tears at what he saw. Taped to the paper was a set of pictures they had taken at the fair. Nozomi sat beside Ryou, sticking out her tongue on the first picture, the second one she was making a face and Ryou was just smiling sheepishly, the third she got Ryou to stick out his own tongue and on the forth Nozomi had kissed him on the cheek. Ryou blushed as he thought about her lips on his face.

He was even blushing in the picture.

"Oh…when was this? I must have been sleeping when this happened…"

Bakura said looking over the boys shoulder.

"It's nothing!" Ryou shouted and he turned the page to where Nozomi had written.

"Doesn't look like nothing." Bakura chuckled as he nudged Ryou in the shoulder.

February 1 2002

I haven't written in forever. I must tell you everything that has happened. Well for one, I found a clump of hair on my pillow this morning, confirming my fears of losing my hair. I showed my mother and she just sobbed in sadness. So I shoved a beanie on my head and left.

I've been shoving food down Ryou's little throat but I have a feeling he's still puking. I also got to meet his other friends. But how he can call them friends I don't know, I mean they know something is wrong with him, but yet they don't do or say anything. It's as if they are blind to his needs. I met Yugi and he seems kind enough. He was trying to help me with my dueling skills but I'm afraid there's no hope for me there!

Anyways, today was the big annual fair. I've been looking forward to this day! Me and Ryou plan to go on every ride till we either puke or go broke! I'm hoping it's the first; I'd rather puke then go broke. But then again, I've been doing a lot of that already. And I think Ryou's getting suspicious, me being sick all the time. I still don't know when I'm going to tell him.

But anyways, this will be a short entry because I'm about to leave soon…actually, Ryou bear is here right now.

I'll write later my reader. Don't you go anywhere!

-Zozo (Ryou's nickname for me! Sounds kind of kiddish, but I like it!)

Later

I've had enough! I'm ending this all right now! While we were running around, trying to get in the shortest lines possible, Ryou turned all pale and fainted on me. I got scared and started shaking him. But there was no use, so I had security help me drag him to a near by bench. That's when I noticed the large white bandage on his arm that was poorly tied. The bandage began to change colors, from white to red. All I could do was grit my teeth and wait for him to wake up so I could give him a taste of my mind.

When he finally woke up he looked like a ghost, pale and weak.

"Ryou! Damn you, no matter what I say you still don't listen. I'm sick of this, WHO'S HURTING YOU!" I screamed.

I noticed a bunch of heads turned my way, but I didn't care. I was sick of my friend getting hurt and not telling me about it.

"It's…It's nothing…" He stammered. But I was not fooled one bit. I grabbed his arm and pushed the sleeve of it upwards, showing him his poorly bandaged arm.

"Ryou, I'm no idiot. There are things you're hiding from me. And there are things I'm hiding from you. Now, do you want to talk about this? Share secrets?"

Ryou stared up at me with wide eyes. He'd never seen me pissed before. But I had had it.

"Who did this to you Ryou?" I shouted once again when he didn't say anything. Finally he lowered his head.

"I did…"

ThisI didn't expect. "Your cutting yourself aren't you?" I whispered softly only so he could hear.

"Yes…I do." He stammered. He wouldn't look at me, not one bit. "And?" I asked pushing the subject. Night was starting to approach and the lights from the rides popped on. Making Ryou's face glow a soft yellow color.

"I can't explain…but…Bakura beats me."

Now, I know he's going crazy. HE'S BAKURA! But me being his friend I said nothing.

"Is that all your willing to share?" I asked sitting beside him. He nodded his head.

I sighed.

"Then I guess it's my turn…" I trailed off; I didn't know how to tell him. Or if I should tell him. Everyone that I had ever told thought I was some kind of walking germ, that just by touching me they would get cancer themselves. But you can't. After you told someone you had cancer, they never looked at you the same again. And Ryou was so close to me and the only friend I had. I didn't want to lose him, not yet.

"I'm sorry Ryou bear, but I can't tell you. When I'm ready I will…"

Yes I know, it did sound kind of odd. Me forcing Ryou to tell me his problems but then not telling him mine. But you see, his is far more serious then mine. He's hurting himself, and I can help him. As for me? I fear it's already to late.

-Zozo

Dats all folks! well, atleast for today!