Chapter 6:

Feb 6 2002

I've been feeling…rather…unwell. I found more hair on my pillow and this time I began to cry. It's now clear to me I'm going to be bald. And Ryou bear has been asking me tons of questions. Like why I keep skipping school? Or why I'm getting so thin? Or why I wear a beanie all the time...

I want to tell him, I really do…but in a way I'm scared he'll reject me like all my other past friends. Well, no, I won't call them friends. They don't deserve the title.

They can be called Jackass mother fuckers for all I care!

I've been stuck in this bed all day, my mother made me. She doesn't want me to end up passing out while I'm at school. Its funny really, I'm slowly dying and nobody knows.

I need to stop writing right now…my hands starting to shake and I feel dizzy. I'll write later when I feel better.

-Zozo

Ryou stared at the page.

"This is it…this is where I find out she's sick." He whispered to no one in particular. Bakura glanced up at the boy.

"Oh, is this where she ended up in the hospital?"

"Yes, it's the part where she almost died…"

Feb 12 02

I'm still a little weak from everything that has happened. But, I need to write this down before I forget everything.

Ryou knows now. And sadly I wasn't the one who told him. It makes it easier on me, but that's a coward's way out.

I was sitting in my room, I think on Feb. 7, and I was just listening to some music while I played with my balding hair. My mother came into the room with a tray of some green tea and kalguksu (noodle soup with vegetables). She asked how I was doing and placed the tray on my bed. She pulled out a thermometer and slipped it into my mouth. She waited until it beeped then pulled it out. She gave a gasp.

"Baby! You have 104.5 fever!"

I just shrugged. Chemo had caused me to have fevers before. But, this one was different.

"So? What's knew?" I asked weakly. My mother's cool hands brushed my brow and her eyes look worried and concerned.

"This one's bad Nozomi, you may be coming down with an infection."

That's when I started to panic. I knew it was dangerous to get and infection while taking Chemo.

"I'm calling the doctor!" My mother screeched and she rushed out of my room. And just as she was leaving Ryou bear showed up with all my homework.

"Hey Zozo. You feeling any better?" he asked while placing the stack of books on my desk. I just gave a weak grunt and closed my eyes.

"What's wrong Zozo?" He asked stepping to my side. I tried to speak, but no sound came out.

Why couldn't I answer him!

"Nozomi…your scaring me." His voice said from far away. That's when my mother burst into the room.

"Oh Ryou, help me get Nozomi into the car…she needs to get to the hospital."

I wanted to tell her NO but I couldn't. I was fine in my own bed! I didn't want to go back to that hell hole where the food tasted like it had been either undercooked or overcooked, and where doctors poke you with needles all day. Just the thought gives me the shivers.

But I was too weak to say anything. To weak, tired, cold and hot.

From far away I heared Ryou call my name. And it sounded like he was crying…

After that I only remember some small details. I remember sitting in the back of the car, holding onto someone's hand. Ryou's I think. Then when we reached the hospital I was placed onto a bed by strong cold hands. The bed started to roll down the hall way and towards the elevator. The lights overhead flowed past me like a stream. I had to shut my eyes against the glare. I felt like I weighed a ton, I couldn't manage to move at all. The rolling bed stopped in a more quiet room, and the lights were dimmer.

I heard someone whisper my name beside me, but I couldn't tell who it was. I was hopping it wasn't Ryou bear; I didn't want him to see me like this.

Hands lifted me again and placed me onto a bigger bed. There were machines and a curtain around the bed. I felt surrounded by nurses and doctors. All of them poking at me with either needles or fingers. I wanted to yell at them, to tell them to stop touching me but I couldn't speak.

Then someone ripped my shirt off and attached little metal cups to my chest. Now I really hope that Ryou bear wasn't there, considering they took off my bra as well. Wires led from the cups to the machine next to me. It began to make this annoying bliping noise that drove me insane. That's when I realized it was my heart monitor. I'm looking at it right now and the little green line that's flashing over it.

Now why did they want to watch my heart beat? I have Leukemia! Not a heart attack…

Then I felt a needle being stabbed into my arm. I looked up with my eyes and saw the red fluid gushing into my arm.

"We're giving you blood, your blood count is really low." A nurse said while petting my hand. I half heard her, because I was already drifting off to sleep.

Ryouclosed the diary and flung it across the room.

"Hey what was that for!" Bakura asked as he watched it fall to the floor. Ryou's face was twisted in anger and sadness.

"She almost died, and I didn't even know! I could have lost her that day! She scared me!"

Bakura picked up the fallen diary and glanced down at it.

"But you didn't Ryou…you didn't. So there's no point in being upset."

Ryou sneered at his Yami.

"How would you know! You didn't give a lick if she died back then!" Bakura's eyes darkened.

"And how would you know?"

Silence sat around them for a good twenty minutes. Ryou sighed then tore the diary away from Bakura's hands.

While I was in limbo, I had the weirdest dream. Ryou was in it. And, dare I say this, we were on a date. He looked so cute in a black tux. I wore a long fluffy pink dress. Which I don't understand because I hate dresses! I and Ryou began to dance around and we were laughing. But then, Ryou disappeared and BAKURA showed up. Now he was in the black tux, dancing around with me on the dance floor. I knew it had to be a dream, because he looked to nice. He was actually smiling, not an evil smile, but an actual happy smile. Dare I say this…but I think I'm developing a crush…

Anyways, I was asleep for a couple of days…not really sure how many. And I have yet to see Ryou or my mother…they won't let anyone visit yet. I'm afraid. I don't know how I'll tell Ryou bear.

But why should I be afraid…He's nothing like those jackass mother fuckers! He's my little bear. My little Ryou bear.

-Zozo

"WHAT! Me dancing around with her? In a TUX!" Bakura asked with his mouth hanging open. Ryou smiled and closed the book

"Yes, she had a crush on you Bakura!"

Bakura smiled." Told you so! I'm so much hotter then you." Ryou looked away from his yami.

He had had a crush on Nozomi, but sadly she didn't see him that way. Only as Ryou, her younger brother. Ryou sighed and turned to his speech.

"So, what you got so far?" Bakura asked as he leaned back on the bed.

"I opened it with one of Nozomi's poems…"

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."

Ryou glanced up at Bakura

"There's more…" He trailed off. Bakura nodded his head and urged him on.

Ryou took a deep breath.

"Nozomi Aiko Haru was in truth an Angel in Disguise. I still remember how we met. She saved me from the torture of bullies, and from myself. Before, I was lost in total darkness and then she turned on the light. She was the one thing that saved me from myself."

Ryou sighed and placed the paper down.

"That's all I have…"

Bakura grinned "You should add that she was sexy looking even without her hair!"

Rampant Chaos: Thank you! I'm glade you like my sad story! Funny really, Nozomi is really what my personality is…

Pharaohatemusqueen: thank you! I'll keep writing!

Panmotto: I'm updating as fast as my fingers will let me!

Josy: Ryou's supposed to come off weak…we'll when Nozomi first meets him, then you see how he changes. Becomes tougher and no longer afraid.

Jessica: Thanks, I was having doubts about it.

Jubilee wondergal and virgo: Ya, I felt like doing a sad fanfic. I started crying while writing it…I'm so sensitive.