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I don't know what happened with Seto after I left him. What I know is that I rushed angrily home and when I finally arrived I broke down crying. My anger had faded and guilt was coming through. I had broken Seto's heart. Me, the innocent Serenity, the girl who was good. Was I not?
I called Marik and he supported me. I didn't even care about Seto anymore and within the next days I had taken a break from my study and flew with Marik and his siblings to Egypt. Whenever my mind even tried to think of Seto, I forced myself to think of something else. Later, very much later, I heard from Joey how Kaiba must have been after I had left him.
Joey told me, he once met him during a tournament where he should be a special guest because of Kaiba Corporation sponsoring the Duel Disks but Seto didn't challenged in the battle itself. Joey had asked him how he had been but he just shrugged him off, wanting to be left alone. Also, he told me, Kaiba was looking like shit. Those were his exact words but coming from Joey, Kaiba always looked like that.
It was finally Tea who I believed in the end. She had talked to Mokuba who said that Seto was now really working 24/7, sleeping at Kaiba Corp and only available at the cell phone. It was then when I really felt guilty. That must have been after I came back to Domino almost twelve weeks after I went. I wanted to attend University again and Marik had decided to take over their family business in Domino. Only for me. He would organize more exhibitions for Ishizu.
Marik and I were looking for an apartment together and soon found some really nice one in the west of Domino. It was small but we both loved it and stuffed it full of souvenirs of our journeys. We haven't been just in Egypt where he showed me his home, their traditions, land and sights. We have also visited Greece where I had learnt very much about their Gods and history, as also in Italy. Europe was fascinating for the both of us.
We loved traveling and I guess, I had one of the happiest times of my life with Marik. But being back in Domino I had to move out with Joey, which wasn't that bad after all, my replacement being Mai Valentine. But moving out of my original apartment I found many memories of Seto. I just threw them away. But it reminded me of something else. Something necessary. I needed to get back lots of things that were still in the Kaiba mansion.
They weren't replaceable and therefore, I went to get them back. I should have listened to Joey when he warned me not to go but my stubborn self said, that it should be good by now. I had forgotten about the hurt breaking up with Seto and he should have too. I called his secretary, she should tell him about me arriving in the evening at his house. That should do. It didn't occur to me why I haven't told him myself. Maybe I was too much of a coward. But I shrugged it off, just being polite not to call him. I hadn't the priority anymore. I was like one of all the others. At least I had thought so.
The house seemed empty of any Kaiba when I was led in by his butler. I rushed up the stairs to Seto's bedroom and opened the wardrobe. Like I had expected, nothing was changed. It still held my things inside the way I had left them. Carefully I lifted them out and packed them in the bag I had brought with me.
I didn't notice Seto standing in the door, watching me in silence.
-
Flashback
-
Serenity took another bunch of her things when she noticed a shirt and unfolded it. She had been wearing that at night when she would sleep within Seto's bed. It had a picture of a cute little fairy on its front and she smiled remembering Seto's first impression of that shirt.
"Innocent."
"What's that supposed to mean?" She pulled a face.
"It shows off your innocence." He calmly answered.
Innocent. She wasn't innocent anymore, not in the slightest.
"Innocent."
Serenity was startled by the familiar deep voice and her eyes darted upwards, meeting the sight of Seto who was leaning against the door frame, arms crossed, usual manner.
"Take it. It doesn't remind me of you anymore." Cold.
"I will anyway." She countered and put it immediately in the bag.
Kaiba smirked and pushed himself off the frame, slowly walking over to the woman, who was packing her things.
"You're looking good, a bit too tanned." Ha said calmly and she couldn't help her questioning gaze when Seto was standing in front of her. "This necklace doesn't suit you, you know? It's somehow not you." He remarked about the necklace she had brought from Egypt.
"Do you say that because it's from Marik?" She asked annoyed yet suspiciously.
"How should I even know that?" Speaking low and calm he reached for her wrist and lifted it, his thumb playing with the silver arm chain there. "That's you."
Her big hazel eyes sought for answers in the depth of his ocean blue eyes. She couldn't tear her gaze away. The arm chain was small and cheap, a bit childish with tiny hearts dangling from it.
"It's a present from Joey." She said, remembering that it was a gift for her 14th birthday, long before Seto.
"I know. You once told me." Seto let go of the chain and dropped his gaze. "It was when I asked you about it and said that it was looking childish."
"I'm impressed you remember, but anyway, thanks for reminding me what you think of my brother's gifts." She snapped. He nodded in agreement.
"You're right. How are you?"
Serenity could almost hear the still remaining hurt within his soul in his voice. She shouldn't have come here.
"Fine." She replied and in an attempt to be polite she made the mistake with her next question. As if she had pulled on a straw that trigger him into more pain. "How are you?"
Silence.
Then, after what seemed like an awful long time in awkwardness, he grabbed her hands and pulled her closer. In her own surprise she just gazed up into his eyes.
"Come back to me, Serenity, I need you. I forgive everything what you did and we begin new. I love you, don't you know that?" The desperation in his voice pained Serenity.
Suddenly everything hit her like thunder and lightning. She had never cared about him after she had gone. He was still heart broken and in love with her. How could she think otherwise?
"Seto, please, I'm sorry but…" She was in love with someone else.
"Don't say that. You still love me, don't you?" His eyes desperately sought for the answer he wanted to hear her say.
But all Serenity could do, was tear her gaze away from him.
"We've been through this. Just leave it." She almost begged avoiding his gaze.
Seto immediately let go of the woman's hands and sighed, slightly annoyed. Of course the pain was there and he felt it more than anything else but he used to switch it into anger instead. He once even smashed his duel disk thinking of her and even if he knew how stupid that had been, he couldn't help it.
"You want me to leave you alone, you and… him!" He asked bitterly but calm. "Fine, I will leave the two of you alone. For just one condition, Serenity. Do you want to hear it?"
Slowly her eyes flickered upwards to her ex boyfriend's azure blue ones. She nodded, not sure if she really wanted to hear it. Another mistake was done and Seto quickly snaked his arms around her waist, bringing her close. Then he lent down, close to her ear and inhaled slowly. She wanted to push him away but she got no further than to lay her hands upon his chest in a miserably failing attempt.
"Stay the night with me, Serenity." Whispering his request, it sent a shiver down her spine.
"I… I can't. That's ridiculous." She replied and found the strength to push lightly but yet not strong enough. He didn't hold her tight, nor was he violent in any way. It was just the familiarity of his arms around her.
"No, it's not. It's a request. Just stay the night with me. That's all I'm asking of you. After that I will never ever bug you or him again. I promise to leave you alone. Just stay this night here with me and by dawn you'll be rid of me." He begged and let his breath tickle the skin of her neck on purpose.
Serenity thought about it. He would leave them alone for the rest of their lives and she was off of all the guilt she was feeling about cheating on Seto. But it would be a cheat on Marik. But wasn't it also a gift for the both of them? A tribute? What damage could one night do?
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End of flashback
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I stayed that night with Seto and he was as gentle as he always had been when we were in love.
He still was.
Willingly I let myself get kissed by him. Willingly I let myself get laid down on his bed with him. And willingly I let him make love to me.
I was passive at first but I guess it was the familiarity of his touches that made me want to touch him, too. He kissed me the way he had used too, caressing the skin of my neck with his lips. His touches sent fire to my desperate skin and I was back in the days where we had been started.
We. Seto and I. For just one night.
He was holding me the way he had used to within his strong arms while we were making love.
I kissed him the way I knew would drive him wild.
I touched him all the places I knew he liked.
I left his back bruised from my finger nails when he was upon me.
And I moaned his name when we were both sharing that special moment for the last time.
I knew he didn't want to close his eyes when I was lying within his arms, words stayed unspoken that night. His breath tickled me when he was spooning me from behind and his arms hugged me as if he never wanted to let go. He would let go of me of course and that was the only reason I was finally able to close my eyes and get some sleep.
In the morning I got dressed and kissed him good bye. He was still sleeping. On the nightstand by his side laid the necklace I had once given him to our first anniversary. I don't know why but I took it and stuffed it into my pocket.
I went back to our apartment and opened the door, slowly walking into the still unfamiliar rooms. Marik was sitting at the table in the kitchen and stared at me when I sat down opposite him.
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Flashback
-
"Where have you been the whole night?"
"I've got my things back from Seto." She replied, not really answering his question.
"I was asking you about the whole night. Have you been with him the whole damn night?" He was angered, Serenity could tell and she avoided his gaze. She felt guilty looking into those faithful violet eyes.
"Yes." She couldn't lie. "He will leave the two of us alone, now, forever."
"What do you mean?" Marik hissed at her in confusion and disgust.
"I mean, that I was with him in order to make him realize to leave us alone. Both of us. He's still in love with me. We can live now here in Domino with no need to care about him."
"Well, I don't care about him, you do! So what if he's still in love with you?"
"He is Seto Kaiba, damn. He's able to everything and I want to live with you without being afraid he could harm us." Serenity tried to make her boyfriend see.
Silence. That's probably what scared the woman the most, always has.
"Did you sleep with him?"
Serenity had no clue why he even came to the conclusion but he was right, wasn't he? And she was weak and sorry. She hadn't done anything wrong. But her eyes spoke the truth when they met the penetrating gaze of her lover.
"I can't believe it." He stammered and stood up walking around in anger. "You make me sick! I can't breathe here. I need air."
Serenity heard the slamming of the door and Marik was gone. She broke down in tears and also in hope he would come back and forgive her. But he didn't. Instead, that evening Joey came to visit her and when he saw her tearstained face he immediately knew something was wrong. She wasn't crying anymore and sat down on her sofa, Joey next to her with a questioning gaze on his face.
"What's happened?"
Serenity didn't look at him.
"I was at Kaiba's place to get back my things."
Suddenly there were so many questions in Joey's mind. Was she still in love with Kaiba? Did he hurt her? What was wrong?
"Did he do anything?" A good question to start with. Neutral.
"He asked me to stay the night with him." She truthfully answered. "He said he'd leave me and Marik alone if I did. Just one night I should spend with him."
Joey didn't dare to ask the unavoidable question. Instead he pulled his sister close to him and hugged her comfortingly.
"I still love Seto."
That was a confession to the both of them. Joey was shocked and couldn't believe his ears but Serenity, on the other hand, wasn't so shocked after all. She knew it all along. She didn't love him like in the days before Marik; she loved him as a piece of her heart she would always treasure. She didn't want to think of him, being afraid it would make her cry. Last night she had to face him and they had shared that night making love.
But Serenity also loved Marik. She loved him so much, she had everything she ever needed with him, they were happy. She was destroying that right now.
"I'm bad. At first, I've hurt Seto, cheated on him with Marik. Then I've hurt Marik because I'm weak, too weak being around Seto." She finally broke down crying on her brother who held her tight like only a brother could do.
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End of flashback
-
When Marik came back the next day he broke up with me. I wouldn't have expected anything else but my hope was always somewhat extremely strong and I honestly thought he'd forgive me. I was so disappointed in myself and confused of the latest events that I supposed it would be better to do as he said. I moved out.
I moved back in with Joey, my old room wasn't even empty so far and Mai slept in Joey's room anyway. She hadn't a problem with me but I needed to look for a new apartment. I shoved this away from me, still in hope Marik would forgive me someday. I was sure he would but I had no clue how long it would take. I heard that he flew back to Egypt but I also knew he had to come back eventually because of the business he had accepted in Domino.
I felt heart broken. I felt confused. I felt miserable. I was lonely. I needed comfort.
Then, another one of those days I was drowning in my self-pity, Joey took me to a duellist tournament where he was supposed to be part of the challenge. It didn't really cross my mind that I would meet Seto there but I did. My seat was on an A-tribune because of Joey being one of the top duellists Domino had to offer and I thoroughly enjoyed watching him, almost forgotten the latest events, when a deep voice rang in my ears.
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Flashback
-
"So many years passed but he still takes part in these tournaments. Even Yugi refuses."
Seto.
Serenity turned to see him talking to his brother. He was standing arms crossed arrogantly as usual at the rail on the tribune and watched the duel. Mokuba, now an almost grown up, was by his brother's side like he was still the small kid from Battle City, just that he was much taller. He used to bind his long raven hair into a ponytail and had developed into a handsome guy many girls had their eyes on.
The auburn haired woman smiled by the thought and didn't notice their both glances until she stared into the blue eyes of Seto.
She stood up to close the gap between them.
"Why don't you take part in the tournament, Seto? You've been always up for a challenge as long as I can remember." Serenity smiled friendly. Inside, she was nervous.
"Hmph!" Typical Kaiba, he replied. "I'm still up for a challenge, just show me one." He smirked amused. It was almost that old half-smile that Serenity once had fallen for.
"So you're pouting because Yugi doesn't take part in the competition." She lightly laughed by the grin of Mokuba who was obviously thinking the same.
"I never pout. Girls pout." He remarked dryly and sent his gaze back to Joey. "Your brother's a good promotion for the tournament, though. He's certainly happy to have you watching."
Her look shifted to Joey. She guessed he was happy she was watching. He had often begged her but time hadn't allowed her to show up. Time for her boyfriends, at that time.
"Where's Marik?"
The question she didn't want to become asked, of course, had to be asked. Though, she had hoped Seto would not have the guts to ask, not to mention to voice out his name.
"We split up."
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End of flashback
-
Reluctantly I went back to Seto. I still loved him and I wanted to be with someone I loved. That was him, wasn't he? Of course, he was happy I finally came back to him. He was as lovely as ever when it came down to I and I could feel his love hadn't faltered, if not instead even grown. He loved me to bits and I loved him, too.
But we both had changed.
I didn't see how I had changed at first. I only saw Seto and his ever present jealousy that was driving me mad more and more every day. The slightest joke or just one word could make him become quiet, thoughtful and well, strange. When we were in public he suspiciously followed my every step with his piercing gaze.
He didn't trust me anymore. He wanted to, I can tell, he forced himself to do so. But he actually couldn't and that was entirely my fault. Unfortunately at that point I didn't realize.
Like the changes in me. The days staying inside of his mansion were making me sick. I couldn't see the good side in boringly reading a book while he was typing furiously on his notebook. I often commented quite hurtful to his statements, which I hadn't minded at all two years ago. Often I just heard him sighing annoyed and walk off, just to come back with better mood in an attempt to be a better boyfriend.
Often I was thinking back to Marik and how much fun we had. I often wondered what he was doing by now. I knew he still had our apartment and he was back in Domino. But he refused talking to me ever again. Not that I tried. Strangely I wasn't afraid of thinking back to the days with Marik like it had been with Seto.
However, Seto could tell I was depressed and he tried anything in his power. That wasn't much. He was a soul that had so much to offer but not when it came to being, well, nice. It's somehow difficult to explain but it was never an easy thing to him showing any feelings or emotions. Rarely laughing himself, how should he make someone else even smile? He was hoping that he could do that with asking me to marry him.
He held the ring out to me and asked me to be his wife. I smiled wryly and nodded. As if I was the queen allowing her slave to kiss her feet. I was the one who had changed. Seto nevertheless placed the ring on my finger and commented this with that I was going to be finally his. The day of our marriage should be our third anniversary. The time we were separated didn't count. And with the day arriving closer and closer I got more and more moody.
Seto seemed almost obsessed with the idea of me being his wife, finally, and I was getting sick by his obsession. It should come else, how were we supposed to know?
Three weeks before our wedding I came home late, having done overdue time on University. Seto was waiting for me in the living room.
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Flashback
-
"You're home, finally. I've been waiting for you." He said and kissed his soon to be wife on her cheek. "Where have you been so long?"
"We've been to a lecture in the museum. A European artist is exhibiting his works there. It was quite funny."
He took that in with his usual suspicion.
"I won't be home for long. We're going to meet him later for a discussion about his works." Serenity said walking to the bedroom in order to get her clothes changed.
"You won't go. I need to sort out things about the wedding with you."
She hadn't even noticed him following her.
"Can't this wait till tomorrow?" She sighed annoyed.
"No." Seto answered and crossed his arms. "Why should this be important to you? You've already seen what that idiot has to offer and now I think our wedding is more important than any monkey praising his so called works with you and your idiotic study friends."
"Well…" Serenity shrugged when she had dressed in a short black skirt and a white woolly top. "I will go anyway."
Trying to pass him by he grabbed her upper arm turning her around.
"I said you won't go." He almost growled at her, his eyes icier than normal.
"Let go of me." She tried to free herself from his grasp but failed. "Who do you think you are telling me what to do?"
"Your fiancée." Seto hissed yanking at her arm to stop her from struggling.
"Fuck that! What fiancée are you? You're making me sick!" She fumed with anger realizing he didn't let go of her and the skin of her arm started to hurt. Certainly it would leave a bruise.
"So that's what you think of me?" He snorted and sent an unreadable glare at her.
"No, forget that. I think of you as a real pain, you know?" She hissed at him but with a fatal result.
Seto grabbed her by both of her upper arms and brought her close to him. Glaring at her as if to stab her with his icy gaze, he smirked but full of hatred and it scared her. In a moments time she had his mouth pressed against hers in a bruising kiss. She fought against the kiss and turned her head away but that only caused more anger in Seto who yanked her on his bed, with him on top of her. Her hands he held above her head in a tight and strong grip with one of his hands. The other hand pressed on her face he made her look at him. His thumb hurting already at her chin, she gazed at him with hatred and fear.
"You don't know what pain is, Serenity. You have no clue." He said so cold that it brought tears to her eyes. "I have you here and I don't. Everyday it's like your body is here with me but your soul is elsewhere and I don't even want to imagine where it might be. That's pain, Serenity, you know? And I am sick of that. I'm gonna show you real pain, my dear."
She found his forcing lips back on hers, bruising the skin.
His hand snaked up her skirt.
His grip won't loosen on her hands.
And he wouldn't stop hurting her.
Everything suddenly seemed far away for Serenity. She perfectly well knew what was happening and the hot wetness burning her skin had been her tears that ran down her face, oh so slowly. Her body went numb, hoping she would awake soon from this nightmare. The noise of unbuckling a belt was like a trigger to make her cry even more. She struggled one last time before pain made her stop even to blink with her eyes. Turning her head away from him, his harsh breaths rang in her mind.
It was one of the most hurtful things she would ever experience.
In body and soul.
Serenity didn't know how long it had been but after what had felt like an eternity Seto's body slumped down on her, not to stay like he used to, but to stand up. She didn't want to look into his eyes and turned to her side, pulling her knees up slightly.
Seto's look shifted to the pathetic creature lying on the bed while he made sure being dressed properly again. His normal piercing blue eyes were empty. Suddenly everything seemed to spin and he couldn't breathe anymore. He needed air. He needed freedom.
Serenity slightly was startled by the slamming of the bedroom's door. The room went into silence and it took her a while until she realized that she was all alone now. Pushing her skirt down, between her legs as if to shield her from another attack, she made one last sob before she slowly climbed off the bed. She was afraid her legs would give away any moment when she made her way like in trance down the staircase. She grabbed her coat and pulled it tightly around her when she left the house.
Then she began to run.
After a while she found herself thinking of where she even was to go to. Actually she wanted to be left alone. But above anything else she wanted to feel save. That only could be at Joey's place. Mindlessly she went the whole way to her old apartment, which must have been almost two miles but she didn't care. Her eyes followed her own steps, watching her own feet how they were walking on the different ground beneath.
Serenity needed to ring the bell, after being back with Seto; she wasn't in need of Joey's apartment anymore.
"Serenity!" Joey was surprised to see her and shocked seeing her in the condition she was in. Her face was so pale and her cheeks tearstained, her eyes looked red and swollen and somehow empty.
"Can I come back here, Joey?" She asked in a whisper and her brother nodded, not even thinking about her request.
Serenity brushed past her brother to her old room and closed immediately the door behind her. Joey wondered what had happened and decided to ask her but beforehand, he made a big hot cup of tea for her. Entering her room, he could have cried out in pain, seeing his sister crouched down on the bed. She sat with her legs pulled up and stared out of the window.
"Serenity?"
Joey put down the cup, noticing that she had changed her clothes, now wearing wide sweat pants and an old sweater she owned since they both had been children. She could feel his questioning eyes on her and turned to face him.
"Thank you." She didn't respond directly.
"What's happened?" He asked but thought that he had a slight clue. He wasn't to know that it was even worse. "Is everything okay between you and Kaiba?"
The girl shook her head sadly. "No." Her voice croaked hoarsely. "Seto… we had a row. Please, Joey, can you leave me alone for a while?"
Joey was to protest but respected her request and nodded before he left the room.
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End of flashback
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End of chapter four.